Michael

Alice is five months pregnant and I'm happy, fulfilled. I feel like a man again graced by the grace of God in my life, complete, whole.

It's pouring outside, a nice strong consistent shower with droplets as thick as pencils. The sky is grey and rumbling as lightning skirts across the sky in blue, orange and yellow hues.

The family is at the big house celebrating my 39th birthday. Everyone is here, including my dad, and I doubt I've ever been happier.

"Are you Ok Michael?" Grace asks disrupting my musing politely.

"Perfect." I say smoothly twisting my chair and move away from the glass sliding doors.

"Everyone is waiting for you in the lounge you know." She admonishes lightly.

"Let them wait, it's my party apparently."

"Naughty, come. Don't keep Miss Alice waiting." She says pushing me towards the lounge, I allow it.

"Hey! There he is."

"Cheers."

"Cheers."

"Happy birthday dear." Mother says with a kiss on the head.

I smile at how fortunate I am. It's a small gathering of just family, but the house if filled with people. Richard's wayward younger sister Marry even made an appearance, the prodigal cousin, and she brought her kid.

A quiet boy of 10 that James has taken under his wing. James seems happy again, I was worried there a moment when he didn't stop mopping from his breakup. But eventually mastered through it, kids are resilient like that with good emotional plasticity.

I kiss my pregnant wife who had the divorce papers shredded before her eyes a few months ago. It seems what she really wanted was a child more than it was sex. She just wanted a child with a husband to help raise it, and she figured James was old enough not to have psychological issues with her marrying someone else.

It would have been a fucken' tragedy if I wouldn't have been able to give her what she wanted. What the old man wanted, what James wanted, what mother wanted, an addition to the family.

"The years are moving fast ey?" Owen says passing me a drink.

"Too fast, I can't believe I'm this old already."

"I can't believe you managed to have another kid before I did. Are you sure its yours?" He says under his breath.

I smile at that. "As sure as I can be without a paternity test."

"Which is what I wanted to talk about." Rebecca says coming out of no where.

"You need to update your will Michael, you may not have much in the way of personal wealth but your shares are still worth a lot. We all like Alice and knows she loves you but we have to make sure that's your baby in the oven as well before you commit."

"My will is taken care of, don't worry guys. Rebecca when are you adding to the family? You don't need a man to do it you know."

She smiles warmly at me at that. Mother has been on her case for years about getting a husband, but the woman is thoroughly married to her work. That doesn't mean she can't have kids though. We don't always get along 'cause we don't agree on how to face so many things but we still love each other though. She's still my little sister, and unlike Owen has nothing to compete with me for.

"I'd only ever have your kids Mike you know that." She says smoothly moving away to grab a glass of champagne, but she doesn't return.

I end up talking to one of the cousins whose side of the family grandpa doesn't like much. I'm honoured they all came but I only know them by sight and name, not personally.

Rebecca is on my mind the whole time though. She has said she would have my kid since she was a kid herself but I have never taken it seriously. Could Rebecca be in love with me? She likes Alice but grudgingly, she has never really dated anyone for more than six months as far as I'm aware. Something to think about later.

The celebration goes on for a few more hours before people start leaving, Alice and I go to our rooms even before all the guests are gone. Our prerogative since I'm paralyzed and she's pregnant.

"How did you enjoy yourself?" She asks as she helps me cleanup in the toilet. Helping me drain my cartether and apply anti bacterial creams to the pipe that goes into my dick.

Ever since we've started having sex again I have lost a lot of the shame I previously had when it comes to her helping clean me. I don't know why or how but human psychology is strange like that.

"It was good, I enjoyed everyone here today." I say with a smile.

"Aha, and how was the party you had with your friends earlier today?" She asks.

"Good too but I can't talk about that." I say with a grin.

A few of the guys from my unit put together a little gathering. It was great, we talked, drank beer, shot at things, had steak. The first steak I've had in six months actually. I'm semi vegetarian a lot of the time these days but I eat meat if its placed in front of me.

After a laxative, an enamel and a shower we cuddle into bed. Not really talking but content in our own silence.

"How's your girlfriend doing?" I ask teasingly. Alice smiles but tries to hide her face in my chest as she snuggles closer.

I have never seen her so excited about a relationship. Mine and her relationship was a lot of passion and hanging out. A lot like really good friends that have great sex. Her and Alanza are all over the place.

Arguing loudly, making up passionately, going out and doing girl things together and coming back and blushing whenever I ask about it. Hot and cold, her first relationship with a woman and said woman is now married.

"What have our lives turned into?" I ask mildly amused.

"You're dating your ex lover's wife, while you're pregnant with your husband's baby. You have all the symptoms of an infatuated school girl you know? I still have a girlfriend or whatever Candice is that I have sex with about once a week and I think my little half sister has been holding a candle for me all these years."

"What?!" She looks up at that.

"I thought that would get your attention."

We talk about Rebecca for a while and everything just starts adding up. From childhood she always said she would marry me but we hardly ever take the things children say seriously, but kids have long memories and the things they hold onto are strange sometimes.

"I think I should give her my stored sperm." I eventually say.

Alice looks at me in disgust and fascinated horror. Then her face becomes stern as she pulls me close.

"That sperm is mine!" She hisses and I just have to laugh at that.

"Don't you have enough dear? And you get it fresh." She shakes her head vigorously.

"I can never get enough. We are still young, we could make two more babies." She says kissing my neck and getting frisky, it could be the hormones but I think she's just marking her turf.

"How would you even approach her? Just give her the rights to use your sperm as she sees fit and say 'hey, by the way sis, I left you some sperm in case you wanted it.' If we are right she has been quiet all these years for a reason, she'd be mortified!"

"I won't say anything to her. I'll fill the paperwork giving her sole custody of the sperm and then let my lawyer take care of the notifications."

"I wonder what your grandfather will think, you have to know he'll find out. Keeping an eye on all of you is his favourite hobby since your mother ran off when she was 19." She says wonderingly.

I snort, "Knowing him, he'll probably silently approve."

"But if she uses them on herself that's incest babe, indirect incest. What about inbreeding genetic defects and things like that?"

I shrug. "My gene pool is quit diverse dear, I'm something like 25% black from my dad's side and her dad's ancestry is German I think."

"Still... I want my own sperm just in case." She says finally.

"I will be sure to do an extra batch for you." I say with a smile and we fool around for the next 30 minutes.

‎ * * *

I eventually break things off with Candice to some tears and begging but she knew it was coming. We've been dating for over a year, apparently her longest relationship. I can believe that, the girl is a free spirit, bringing some of her friends to be intimate with us sometimes without even giving me a heads up.

I've even developed a bit of a reputation in the yoga community for both being a paralyzed yogi, an innovative one, and the rumour is that I have a big dick. How else to explain how I sample so many of the women in the community, if only they knew.

My baby girl is due to be born in a week and I've never been in a better place in my life. Alice and the baby are healthy, James is happy and dating again. Not once has he even expressed wanting to change schools, but a public school metric certificate won't open as many doors as one from The Knox, but fuck it. I never finished college and I turned out fine.

Rebecca and I haven't spoken about the 'gift' I seeded to her, but she's trying to get pregnant or she's pregnant. I'm not sure which but she's been seeing the family obstetrician a lot lately. The old man has noticed of course but hasn't said a word either, silently approving her moving back home.

To be honest I don't think I really thought that all the way through, but she seems so much more like the little girl she used to be these days. Less bitchy, more smiling and spending time with Richard's little kids with Stacey.

"It's time." Edgar says looking at my cellphone beeping as I drive, I like driving.

"Time for what?" I ask, not having set any alarms as far as I can recall.

"That's your cells pager, that baby is coming early." He says coolly while also strapping in his seat belt.

"Shit!"

Is all I manage to say as I swerve through traffic picking up speed, minivans aren't really built for cutting corners though. Especially wheelchair friendly vans. I try Alice's cell but she doesn't pick up.

Mom calls a moment later. "Her water broke, we're almost at the hospital."

"Which hospital, how is she?"

"She's fine, everything is fine. Alanza is driving, we're pulling up now gotta go."

"Which hospti-, shit!" I say as I swerve past another car only to be hemmed in coming to a screeching halt.

"Shit."

I try Alanza but I'm already driving towards Memorial. She answers on the third ring but already I can feel something happening to me, a loosening of something that has been holding me together all my life.

"Which hospital?" I shout over the speakers, slightly panicking.

"Albany Memorial, everything is happening quickly though. Way too quickly!"

"Stay on the line. Tell me what's happening."

"I mean, she was apparently already crowning in the car! I've never even heard of a birth progressing so quickly." She sounds panicked, which calms me down some.

"As soon as you can go into the room..., I don't think I can make it to the birth." Edgar gives me a look, but I can feel something happening to me.

I slow down and drive more sedately as I listen/feel what's happing to me. I'm getting lighter, I pray silently while slowing down to a stop at the side of the road. Edgar is slightly worried now as I sigh but he says nothing.

*

"Ok, I'm going in", Alanza says after about 10 minutes.

"Where are you?" Alice says with tears on her face as Alanza switches to video.

I smile at her beautiful red face. "Show her to me." I say.

She wipes her tears and gives the phone to mom who holds it over my daughter. I smile at her pink wrinkled face.

"She's beautiful, you did good babe." I say a tear falling from the side of my face.

"Where are you?" She asks again snatching the phone.

"I have to leave dear. Its time for me leave this world now."

"You're not leaving me Michael O'Hare, or I swear to God...!" She says getting scared.

"It's Ok babe, you did good. What should we call her?"

"You have to be here to see her, you have to sign the birth certificate, you have to name her. Where are you, I'll come get you." She says with tears flowing down her face.

"You can't come where I'm going dear, I like the name Jennifer, let's call her Jennifer. But she'll need a second name, you can decide on that one."

Edgar is making calls besides me, I'm not sure to whom but my conversation with Alice is making him panic as well as his voice gets louder.

Then I just know what's happening, I could force myself to stay, I can feel that. But if I stay then I can never leave, this is my only chance, I'm not sure if it's death or what that I'm deciding between but I can't not go. I've done all I could for my family in this life, I've prepared them as best I can for my passing.

"Don't go, Edgar! Where's Edgar?"

"I'm here Alice." He says trying to calm himself down.

"I swear if you let anything happen to him Edgar you won't live through the day!"

"Alice I honestly have no idea what is going on but there is something fucking weird happening in this car." He says looking at me.

"Its Ok Alice, I'm going to a better place."

"Michael, what's going on, why are you upsetting Alice like this?" Mom asks also hysterical.

‎"Mom give Alice the phone, I love you mom."

She humphs but passes the phone, its not everyday she hears that from me and I think I've shocked her.

"I've held back as long as I can. Tell her and James I love them."

"I will." She says and I suddenly start fading away with the wind, or at least that's what it feels like.

"Shit." I hear Edgar say but I'm already far, already floating, scattering yet all my pieces are still connected somehow. Then I know no more.

‎ *

‎ Edgar Truman

Michael suddenly starts fading before my eyes. I grasp my phone to record 'cause I'm already thinking about the police report. He smiles at me that smile of his, I know better than to stop him from anything he sets his mind to. Not that I think I could stop this if I wanted to.

He suddenly fully disappears as though blown by a gust of wind.

"Shit!" I say as I look around the now much emptier car. Alice is being hysterical on the other end of the line on his dropped phone.

I have absolutely no idea what I just witnessed. We've seen some strange shit out in the desert, and all soldiers are superstitious. But even as I have spent most of my adult life with Michael as he went through his spiritual journey, I have absolutely no idea what I've just witnessed.

I grab the phone from the car seat and look at Alice looking back. We look at each other and I have no idea what to say. I swallow to lubricate my dry throat.

"He's gone." I say and she starts sobbing silently. I cut the line, its heart breaking to watch. I step out of the car, not wanting to move it.

"Be well my friend, wherever you may have gone. I'll watch over your family as best I can."