It took a while, but eventually the rage in her calmed enough that she could address the Trio. She wasn’t sure when exactly they’d stopped being the Stooges to her and become properly important to her, but there it was.

“Well guys, sorry we couldn’t get farther than this, but at least we all survived. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

The three nodded glumly.

“Would’ve been nice to at least win two matches, though,” said Larry. “I just don’t get why they were so strong.”

Len considered telling them what she’d learned, and what she suspected of that asshole who’d come to gloat, but decided against it. She’d at least wait ‘til their pardons were properly secured and they were a good ways away from him before dropping that bombshell. No sense in tempting them to do something stupid.

“Well, whatever happened, it’s not our problem anymore. So, big plans now that you’re free people again? Any great sights you want to see?”

The three stared at her in confusion.

“What are you talking about, boss?” Moe asked. “We’re sticking with you, obviously.”

“No way. Did you see the way that guy was talking? I guarantee that he’s got something new and horrible planned for me, and after that there’ll be something even worse. Trust me, you guys aren’t gonna want to be anywhere near me from here on out.”

“I’ll admit that I’d prefer some quiet spot in the middle of nowhere to spend my last years,” said Curly. “But I doubt I’d be able to enjoy it if I had to spend those years knowing that the person who bought me those years had died on some fool’s errand that she got sent on. I’ll be sticking with you, Miss Wraithwhisper.”

“Damn right,” said Moe.

“Yeah… if I’m honest, I’d actually be pretty comfortable ditching the lot of you,” Larry began, then raised a hand before the other two could object. “All the same, I think my odds of survival are actually a bit better with you guys than on my own. It’s been nice having actual reliable backup for once. I reserve the right to dump you all in a heartbeat, but I’m holding off on that for the time being.”

“Very magnanimous of you,” Len said with a chuckle. “Still, guys… thanks. It means a lot.”

“All right, then,” said Moe briskly. “No way of knowing exactly what these jackasses have planned for us and there’s nothing to do until they’ve made up their minds. I say we all get some rest.”

This advice was met with nods all around. With the last shreds of adrenaline fading, and the headache from the previous day’s exertions returning, Len was growing ever fonder of the idea of closing her eyes and enjoying some silence for a bit. It wasn't a peaceful rest that she was gonna get, but she’d take it anyway.

* * * * *

“You know,” said Pitch cheerily. “That could’ve gone worse, all things considered.”

“Could have gone worse? I got eliminated after my second fight. You couldn’t have helped out a little bit more?”

She was standing in the void again, surrounded by nothing but blackness. She couldn’t say exactly HOW she could identify Pitch from the rest of the swirling masses of oil slicks that made up… whatever this place was, but she understood its uniqueness perfectly. She supposed that she should be overwhelmed with terror at that moment but all she felt was tired. She had to assume that whatever his deal was, it didn’t include swallowing her soul right that instant, so she just opted to roll with it.

“I could have, yes, but it wouldn’t have been as much fun.”

“That’s really all you’re concerned with, isn’t it?”

“Exactly,” it said with a wink that she couldn’t see but KNEW it had given her. “I’m sure you’ve read stories of ancient immortal beings before. None of the tales really do justice to the existence. After the first couple of billion years you really do start having to make your own fun. But with YOU, I have a genuine mystery on my hands. You shouldn’t exist, but here you are. It’s not simple madness that’s driven you to this, you are an awareness completely independent from all that is known. It’s fascinating. It’s terrifying. Can you even begin to imagine the sort of impossibility it takes to terrify me? It’s just so exciting!”

“You sure were willing to risk that ‘fascinating existence’ getting slaughtered out there.”

She wasn’t exactly upset by it, whatever this was, it was no ally of hers. What she needed was understanding. Some explanation of what it knew about her.

“Well, in the worst case I might have intervened. Of course I could always-”

* * * * *

She was shaken roughly awake by Moe.

“Wake up, boss, she’s coming!”

“Hrm-wha?” she stammered, climbing to wakefulness entirely too fast for her brain to keep up.

“The Demon Lord! She’s coming here!” The joy on his face would’ve been disgusting to wake up to ANY day of the week, but seeing it in response to that woman was almost enough to make her throw something at him.

“Oh, gee, what rapture and bliss,” she deadpanned, swinging herself out of bed. “And what, pray tell, does her Infernal Majesty want with us?”

“I don’t know. I was just told that we needed to get ready for her. We’ve got about five minutes before she arrives.”

Grumbling mostly unintelligible and decidedly unkind things, Len busied herself with the work of bare-minimum presentability then stood waiting for the Lord. Unlike the last meeting, she was accompanied not just by the looming Draconid, but a full entourage of important looking individuals.

“My Lord,” said a fussy looking hunched creature with an avian face. “I must protest to this. It’s most unusual.”

“Cram it, Seffrax. I wanted to see this one off personally.”

“As you say, my Lord.”

“So, Len, this is the best you can do? You promised me a better showing. Care to explain yourself.”

Len bit back the retort she wanted to use, and just stared coolly at the demon.

“I have some suspicions,” she replied, glancing around for a man with the ring similar to what her presenter ‘friend’ had been wearing. “I’m guessing it was a friend of yours.”

“What are you implying?” asked Seffrax.

“Nothing at all,” she said. “For now.”

“How quaint,” said another. “The elf thinks she can influence things. It’ll be fun watching her learn otherwise.”

The Demon Lord silenced the man with a glare then turned back to Len.

“In spite of your underwhelming performance, you did technically manage to win one battle and force a draw in a second. Certainly not a massive achievement, but I suppose you’ve earned some acknowledgment.”

“How kind of you,” Len said in her sweetest tone. She might have been mistaken, but she thought she saw the tiniest flash of amusement in Atrid’s eyes at that.

“With that in mind, I’m pleased to inform you that you’ve been granted an assignment in the Northern Wastes. You’re to be put in charge of Grenus’ Hovel. No, seriously, that’s the name of the place. They actually named the fort ‘Hovel’, can you believe that?”

“My liege, we’ve been over this repeatedly, it was named that as an explicit insult from your great grandsire. You can rename it any time you so desire.”

“Not a chance,” said Astrid with a grin. “I can’t wait to see what Len here does with this magnificent Hovel that’s been bestowed upon her. Just beware of the barbarian tribes and direwolves. Have fun!”

“Do I get any time to prepare?” Len asked, a bit archly.

“Nope, I wouldn’t want you to worry your pretty little head about those details, I took the generous step of packing you four bags for your trip, aren’t I kind? So yeah, you’ve got a year to whip that place into shape and get the locals in line. Fail, and I’m afraid that’s the end for you and your minions here. Hold this, will you?”

She handed Len a scroll.

“All right, Astrid, I think this charade has gone on long enough, what the hell are you-”

She meant to go on, but with a smirk and a wave, the Demon Lord triggered whatever enchantment had been laid on the scroll, and suddenly the four of them were standing in the middle of a snowstorm.

“That bitch!” Len snapped.