Pov - Umbra

Well, that was something. The adventurer's team, which I thought to be somewhat competent, were just some noobs. They were so confident until the first member died, then they all just froze like scared puppies. Hell, the only thing interesting to happen was the fact that the swordsmen came from another world, kinda like me, maybe he is even from earth. But seriously, that guy was terrible at hiding it, it is a miracle that he did not get found out. Now that I am thinking more deeply about it, he must have been found out and the guild just swept him under the rug as a weakling. They are a global organization, so they must have met their fair share of, what do they call them, lost souls? Whatever I can check with that later. I must get back to work, I wonder what Demi-plane I should make next?

I then pause everything I was doing and scrunch my metaphorical eyebrows. This is strange, why don’t I feel anything, I did just indirectly murder 2 people, I think. Was it three people? Where did the Rogue disappear off too, I should probably check? No, scratch that I'm getting off track, why did I care so little about the deaths of two sapient beings. Now that I am looking back on it, my emotions and attention have been erratic at best. I have been downright ignoring some things, while hyper-focusing on others. Like why did I care so much about adventurers, there should have been other ways of leveling up. I even heard from the adventurers themselves that some ways are even faster to level up than just plain old killing. Yet, I ignored all of this. What about that time I straight up buried some emotions, like the time I had an emotional rollercoaster with the idea of my demi-plane being hurt. No, it goes even further back, my interactions with Akasha, because I’m terrified at one moment than having a completely normal conversation later.

I spend more time pondering on this topic and nothing else, sometimes getting distracted and other times just plain ignoring the issue even as I was trying to ponder on it. At the end of my pondering, I came to one answer, I am super confused and have no idea why this is happening. Sure, it could have been from me literally becoming a book, or even the Abyssal corruption that is apparently happening to me. I guess it is time to get some answers from my only liable source, Akasha.

Hey Akasha, I need your input on an issue that I have been thinking about, I say to Akasha through are mind bridge or link or whatever it was called.

“You need my help because you're thinking about how your emotions are all out of control, right,” Akasha says calmly while flipping through a magazine. Wait, they have a magazine here, no focus umbra.

How did you know what I was going to ask? I question getting the first thing off my mind.

“You have been projecting your thoughts outwards for the past 23 minutes. So of course I would have known this issue.” Akasha says without the sign of anger I would have expected in her voice.

Sorry but I’m honestly super freaked out, I don’t know why my emotions are acting this way and well I’m scared. I say in a heartfelt manner.

Akasha lets out a sigh and says, “You don’t need to apologize because I knew about this issue eight days ago and purposely withheld the information from you. I did this mostly because I didn’t want to go through a conversation like this. But I guess you found out the issue before I felt like telling you.”

Akasha's confession shook me. Did she really just hold back on this revelation because she did not want to go through this simple conversation… Fuck, the problem is that I don’t feel any panic despite the fact that this is a panic-inducing situation. Something is fucking wrong, so fucking wrong. Am I falling apart, and how come I feel panic at the idea of falling apart, but not the idea of Akasha ignoring the issue because she does not want to talk about it?

I grit my teeth at the nonexisting panic and the existing panic. You know what, how come I feel panic at the idea of not feeling panic, that's just mean. I just continue to grit my teeth, while trying to ignore the panic I’m feeling and get back to questioning Akasha, which I did with scary ease, but I try not to focus on that little fact.

“Are you calm now,” Akasha asks, regret tinging her voice.

Yes, I’m calm now. I pause for a second, Can you finally tell me why I am acting so weird and erratic.

“Alright, I’ll tell you,” Akasha says, resolution in her voice, leaning slightly forward in her seat. But even before she can start her explanation, she lets out a sigh which seemed to carry away all that resolve. “It started 8 days ago when I was at my limit, trying to decipher your core book as you call it. I decided to flip through the core book as a break for my mind. Each page was more complicated than the last, some pages represented the essence of affinities, that whispered secrets that could not be thought of. Some pages changed my outlook on the world, and some pages just gave me migraines. There even was a page that harmed my vitality directly. Though on a page there were these light cracks, spider webbing throughout the page that wanted everything to return to nothingness, and because of these cracks, I started to worry about your health, I then noticed that on the very next page was the abyss, taking root within your core book. Separately both of these would be a huge problem, but together they seemed in a balance, the nothingness corroded the abyss while the abyss corrupted the nothingness in a cycle of crude harmony. Even though I had the past week to try to think of a solution for both of your problems simultaneously, nothing came to mind except meeting a wandering god of the soul or tearing the pages out, both would have unforeseen consequences that could turn out worse.” After finishing that mouth full, Akasha seems to deflate, leaning back deeper into her chair.

I stood there, not really understanding most of it. All I got was that I am on a thin line between destruction and corruption. Maybe the nothingness that invaded my soul in the, well, nothingness stopped me from feeling that empty void that wished to consume me. So that void must be the abyssal corruption that the system warned me about. So many things are falling into place now that I have more information, but all this has me wondering how come I am being destroyed by the nothingness but the other lost soul person was not. Did it only invade me thanks to the abyss or does it invade everyone and the system just cleanses them, but if that were true how come it did not cleanse me, was it because I was in this balance-like state?

I realize that I have not said anything in response to this major information, but what is there to say. Alright, I will give it my best shot, So I’m immune to the Abyss and Nothingness? Nice! … What the hell am I saying! I understand I am on a thin line, so why did I say that!

To my shock, Akasha just starts laughing, tears rolling down her face. The laugh was full of stress and relief as if she was just finally relieved of all the anxiety she has been under. This was a pure laugh, not of joy but relief.

After a while of just plain laughing, Akasha wipes her face, making the tears vanish. From all angles, she looks the same as she previously did, but it was different in some ethereal sort of way. Then she pauses and asks, “You're not being serious, right?”