“My dear good sir,” the poorly disguised Queen of the Bestiral Kingdom, Queen Laiyonah, said to the black-market dealer from whom she had gotten all of her rather interesting and mostly sex-based potions from, “do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?”

That was the first part of the series of code-phrases needed to access the city’s Black Market, and it was a line of dialogue that the incredibly slutty queen had used many, many times before.

“Would you prefer my milkshake instead?” was the reply.

“Of course! I hear it brings all the boys to the yard.”

The dealer smiled and walked over to a seemingly innocuous wall, tapped it in a few places and with that the ‘wall’ vanished as if it wasn’t even there. Queen Laiyonah had to give the Black Market some credit; establishing a hidden place within one of the most dangerous parts of town and having it use magic to hide itself was a difficult task in any nation, let alone one where the percentage of magic-users among the members of the Races living there was around 9.73% at most. Having the resources to put a magic user, either a Wizard, Sorcerer or some other Class that could harness the power of magic, in every place where a hidden market was was quite impressive, or at least she thought so.

As she walked into the secret marketplace, she failed to notice that the gatekeeper allowed a few other people to follow her through the magic door, the smile still on his face, yet slightly more sinister.

…

Queen Laiyonah looked at the banner that hung above her head that read out in bold letters ‘Under New Management!’. She wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, but assumed that some new gang had seized control over the market and likely was going to charge a much higher rate than before. She sighed and made her way to her preferred dealer, the magic bag she held in a safe place holding all of the funds she could spare for her imminent purchase without attracting her spouse’s attention.

“Hello there, Sanik. Business is going as well as ever with you, I see.”

The queen looked over the short Hedgehog Werean who, for some reason completely unknown to her, kept dyeing all of his hair a certain shade of blue. This man was her dealer, and he was known for getting the goods more quickly than anyone else could.

“Y’know what they say, right? Gotta go fast! Gotta make sure everyone knows about my trademark Sanik Speed! Other people try and say I’m too fast, but I say to them ‘You’re too slow!’” the Hedgehog Werean replied in his typical hastily-spoken train of thought method of communication. The queen, when she first met him, assumed he was high on narcotics during his business hours. But that had all changed after she learned more about him and his lifestyle. Yes, at first, she merely thought he was high on drugs while selling things in the Black Market, but now she knew that he was, indeed, constantly higher than a kite flown on the tallest mountain in the world.

“So,” the queen asked as she removed a small magic bag from between her breasts, “do you have the goods?”

“Yeah, yeah. Typical stuff, right? Stuff you wanted, yeah? I got it. Got it fast. Like, super fast. Like, Super Sanik Speed fast, y’know?” The blue-dyed Werean with too much hair-gel on his head and tail asked in rapid succession, barely giving any time for him to sniff repeatedly and rub his pointer finger under his nose a few times. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got the stuff. Do you got the stuff? Y’know, the stuff?”

The queen held the bag out of Sanik’s reach.

“First, show me what you have, then I’ll consider letting you have what I am willing to pay for them.”

“Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure! Sounds fair, yeah, sounds fair. Lemme get the stuff. Just hold on a moment, gotta go get the stuff super Sanik fast!”

With that, the drug-addled merchant leapt from his seat where he had been fidgeting constantly for the past few hours and ran into the backroom.

“This will never get old.” The queen murmured. However, she would never get to put her hands on what she came for. Before Sanik could return, the queen felt immensely tired and fell asleep right where she stood, falling backwards only to be grabbed by the people who had followed her all this way. They put a bag over her head that was lined with pockets filled with flora designed to keep a person unconscious and then bound her hands and feet before carrying her away, leaving the magic bag on the table for anyone to take.

Sanik got back to the storefront a few seconds after the kidnappers had departed, noticed his customer was gone and had left their magic, money-filled bag behind, and then decided to empty it and use the money he had been graciously given to fuel his drug addiction.

…

Queen Laiyonah awoke to see naught but darkness and hear the muffled sounds of people talking around her. She could not really make out what they were saying, mostly due to the flora within the bag that covered her head dulling her senses. If she was a normal Werean, she would have certainly not woken up, but she had the blood of the Great Werean Kings in her veins, and some of their resilience had been passed down to her. Still, she was unable to gather enough strength to fight back or attempt a breakout, and even if she did, she was likely considered a lost cause by her husband by now. How would he react to knowing that she was so weak that she had been kidnapped? The answer as to what that ‘Strength Fanatic’ would do was obvious to her, and she was not about to face exile, death or worse by his hands. She still had so many people to plough and so much sex to have, and, considering that, it may have actually been a good thing that she was now free of the restraints of the castle and therefore free to fuck anyone and everyone she wanted to with not a single care given as to political standing!

However, the dialogue between the three people who were arguing over what she assumed was their intentions regarding her fate slowly made her more concerned. What little she could make out referred to the Red Mountain Bandits, the crime syndicate that had conquered a Kingdom, the Beast Gods who were apparently worshipped by both the savages from the Forest and apparently some Werean as well and a third group called ‘The Servants of the Vermintide’, whose aims sounded equally as malign. The three people bickered for what felt like an eternity before the two who advocated Red Mountain and the Servants of the Vermintide seemingly accepted defeat.

Pulled to her feet and then hogtied while still being unable to see or hear much due to the bag on her head, she could feel herself being stuffed in a barrel and then said barrel loaded onto a boat. As the boat was paddled through the sewer system beneath the city, Queen Laiyonah slipped once again into a deep, deep sleep. She had no idea that, when next she would awake, her most twisted and sensual dreams would come true in ways she would never have expected or imagined.