A few more days had passed since then, and by all accounts, things were right as rain. Certainly, there were a few minor issues, but those were nothing compared to the efficiency and purity of a government whose members were either mindlessly loyal or would be immediately and permanently removed from all positions of power (and possibly their own status of being alive) if they even thought about engaging in any kind of corruption at all. As it turned out, a government that viewed corruption of any kind as an existential threat to the state that needed to be violently and ruthlessly purged at every possible chance tended to be one with fewer bribes, less lobbying, fewer scandals, less nepotism, and less gridlock.

Both Kain and Alexis had only doubled down on this stance as of late, as the stress from the previous events still troubled them and they needed a productive outlet for their frustrations. They had been unable to concentrate in the bedroom, which would have been the go-to for all their stress relief needs if things were normal, but they were not, so instead they had to find other means of venting steam.

The second most popular option for them to pacify their irritation would have been for them to go onto a battlefield and simply wreck shop, but the masses demanded peace and the two monarchs had already punished their own children for nearly causing a war. Because of that fact, it would be quite hypocritical for them to simply start a new conflict just to deal with the mounting stress, and both Kain and Alexis knew that.

As a result, they kept diving deeper into things, looking for something to target. It was a short-sighted method of stress relief, and it was starting to raise a few eyebrows, and not in a good way. This ultimately led to this very moment, when Kain and Alexis were called to a meeting held by the main leaders of each satellite state and a few other power players in the Greater Darksol Empire. Neither of them knew why they had been called, only that this meeting was important and vital enough that all the big players were there to discuss something that they claimed was of great importance to the continued stability of the nation.

They entered and saw a circular ring of chairs, with all the big names sitting in them. Well, Zalga wasn’t there, and neither was the newest addition to the vassals of the Empire, Arcail the Ascended. Zalga had sent C’thylla, while Arcail had sent a fanatically devoted High Priest named… well, his name isn’t needed, and all that is needed is to know that the two most massive members of the group had been unable to fit into the room, let alone meet with anyone without shattering their minds.

As for Zero Noir? He couldn’t fit either, but he also was not the type to even care that much unless something forced him to deal with the outside world. As a result, he had not sent any representatives, and thus remained completely oblivious to the meeting, its contents, and, as consequence, what his temporary role would be for the coming weeks.

They all motioned for Kain and Alexis to sit, and, despite the weirdness that this whole gathering gave off, the two took their seats. Alistaira Crowley, the one member of the group who had been with the two monarchs the longest, spoke up and set the tone for what was to come.

“My Lord, my Lady… this is an intervention.”

To which both Kain and Alexis issued a single word that they both said at the same time.

“What?”

…

“No, seriously. You need to find a better way to deal with this. These witch hunts are not a productive way to vent your frustrations.”

Alistaira had been loathe to use the term ‘witch hunt’, as it brought up memories that she had really wanted to keep repressed, but Kain and Alexis both had indeed effectively started pulling an increasingly intense and increasingly violent series of McCarthy-esque inquiries, but with less blacklisting and more death.

“I concur with Ms. Crowley,” added Ervin Krueger, who had taken time from his busy schedule to hopefully keep his own nation’s leadership from being utterly erased one by one. “While I appreciate a good purge now and again, it should only be directed at those who are deserving. You have started targeting those who are essentially guilty of nothing but thinking of such acts, but there are more contemplating them now due to your own actions. People are scrambling to form some sort of connection in the desperate hope that they can use them to avoid death, or worse.”

“Da,” said Piotr, his half-skeletal jaw emitting a sub-arctic breath. He was one who, as usual, was trying to be as curt and direct as possible, but also could not help from speaking about the things he had learned from more modern Earthlings. “You look for enemies, and you find them. Stalin nearly broke the Union on his own; searching for traitors and saboteurs where there were next to none, leaving the Union unprepared for the Axis’ attack. Those who did not die or who were not imprisoned fled, and I do not think you wish to have our greatest minds defect, no?”

“Ultimately, there needs to be some way of directing your stress towards something more… productive. And, although the giant, sentient trash can himself isn’t here…” said Elileth Carmilla, who was currently acting as the representative from the Sanguinocracy, “we’ll have to offer this potential course of action without his input.”

Kain and Alexis got up. They had things to do, and they couldn’t waste time dealing with this nonsense right no-.

C’thylla grabbed both of them and held on like a starving squirrel trying to hold down the last acorn on the planet. The only way the two of them would leave was if they ripped her grasping hands (and arms) clean off, but even then, C’thylla could take a hell of a beating. Odds were that she would regrow her limbs before the two had any chance to leave the normal way, meaning that the only other way out would be by smashing C’thylla into the ground over, and over, and over, and over again.

And, ultimately, neither of them wanted to hurt the girl. She was loyal to a fault, incredibly useful, durable as all hell, and was entirely willing to literally throw herself into an unwinnable battle simply to buy time, even if that meant that she would either die or be brutalized for potentially years on end. So, the two looked at each other and decided that maybe, just maybe, they could bear to listen to whatever suggestion that was being offered. If it didn’t end up working out, they could always go back to what they were doing previously, despite being as self-destructive as it was.

Besides, what could these people possibly have thought up that would be enough to let them of all people vent their stress? Although, then again, anything regarding the reliance on Zero Noir tended to be, at the very least, rather strange. Maybe, just maybe, they would have a worthwhile idea.