Kain opened his eyes and tried to move from his current position in bed, but Alexis’ arms and legs held him tighter than a beartrap. This was not a big deal to him, as he would have been more than willing to stay a few extra minutes or even hours in his wife’s embrace. There was just one little, tiny issue that made the whole situation rather uncomfortable.

There was blood, his blood, everywhere. He had figured that this would be the case, but Alexis was far more lustful than she had been previously and had, in typical vampire fashion, torn out massive chunks of his flesh as they entered the more potent stages of intercourse. If memory served, she must have ripped out his throat and guzzled his blood straight from his jugular about 4 times before finally calling it quits.

Kain was certainly one for gore, but even he had limits to what he viewed as his personal kinks. He didn’t mind Alexis ripping his throat out with her massive, serrated, knife-like teeth all that much. Whatever kept her boat afloat, you know? But he did have an issue with that action being repeated, and on the good linens, at that. There was no god damn way in hell that anyone would be able to get the stains out of this stuff, and that, more than anything else, was what annoyed him.

Plus, he was covered in dried blood, which was both very irritating to his skin and very unhygienic. He would need a good long session in the baths to get all of that rust-colored stuff off of his body and hair and said bath would need to be cleaned repeatedly before it could be used again afterward. Despite all of that, Kain was glad that he could help his wife relieve some of her pent-up frustrations and, despite all that he had misgivings about, he did at least partially enjoy the previous few hours.

Kain was about to try and wake up the slumbering monster that held his body in a bone-crushing vice grip, as he really wanted to get clean as soon as possible, but then he came to a startling and humiliating realization. Why did he need to have people wash, dry, and/or replace the stained stuff in the bedroom when he could just use some magic and make those stains vanish?

He was honestly quite upset with himself for not coming to that conclusion earlier, back before he had replaced the sheets, pillowcases, pillows, and more for the third time since his return to power. Kain wove a simple (by his standards) spell with Decay Magic and watched as the dried blood and gore turned first to dust and then was reduced even beyond that.

He had to give Alistaira credit for taking his teachings about atomic structures and atomic half-lives to heart and weaponizing the latter in a terrifying spell. That action back during the siege of Ma-Ginotte was what ultimately gave him the idea to use Decay Magic in such a way, and for that, he was thankful that he did not need to throw out yet more expensive bedding and other items.

With that done, he was now more willing to stay locked in the four-limbed bearhug of Alexis, not that he could have moved without waking up the predator and quite possibly having her demand yet more snu-snu. For now, at least, he would remain beneath the covers with a bloodthirsty monster holding him in place. She wouldn’t stay asleep forever, right?

…

Alexis finally opened her eyes after being worn out from the previous night’s rather enjoyable engagement. She had no idea how long she and Kain had gone for, but she was almost entirely certain that she and her mate had outdone their previous record and, quite possibly, had allowed Alexis’ boastful half-joke to become fact.

The previous night was a blur for her, but she could have sworn that she had torn out her husband’s throat at least seven or eight times, mostly by accident in the heat of passion. Despite that part being one of the few pieces of information she somewhat could count on, the entire bedroom was nearly spotless.

Her husband, Kain, was still in her embrace and did not seem inclined to leave it, even though he almost certainly could do so at any time he wanted to. Instead, he, who should have been caked in dried blood, was lying there, locked in her arms and legs and without a single speck of dried gore on him. Kain had his eyes closed, but he was not asleep, and that led Alexis to assume that Kain had somehow cleaned everything up without ever moving from his current position. Part of her wanted to jokingly ask if Kain had any interest in being a janitor due to his superhuman cleaning ability, as what else would you call someone capable of cleaning that much viscera and fluid in such a short span of time?

Kain’s eyes opened and he turned his head to look his wife in the eyes. The two of them shared a few moments of passionate staring before Alexis released her death grip and Kain got up and left the bed.

“Now, dear, where are you heading off to?” Alexis asked, partially infusing her words with some minor Charm-type magic.

Kain stretched and dusted cracked his joints a bit before replying, “I may have cleaned everything up, but I still need a decent shower at least before I feel fully clean. That, and I think that our bed and its covers need a wash as well, so I was going to have someone get on that.”

Alexis let out a small laugh before her next words sent a shiver down Kain’s superhuman spine.

“Well, perhaps the washing of our bedding can wait until the end of the week? I am still not satisfied. Last night was, quite simply, not enough for me. I. Want. More.”

Kain shuddered internally but ultimately accepted his fate.

“Fine, but before we do any more of that we will change the bed and bedding to something cheaper. I don’t want to risk damaging the good stuff to the point that we can’t use it for actual sleeping and less… violent activities.”

“Very well,” Alexis replied. “But make sure you get things done as quickly and efficiently as possible. I am already feeling my hunger demanding that it be satiated.”

Kai scoffed and responded to his wife. “Isn’t it impossible to sate your hunger?”

Alexis merely shrugged in a casual manner and said, “Well, immortals like you and me have to find some way to pass the time, don’t we?”