“Read ‘em and weep, Lizzy.”

“No fair! How are you constantly getting all these good hands?!”

“Have you ever heard of ‘The Heart of the Cards’?”

“Don’t bullshit me with that, Raz. We both know that anime nonsense is just plot armor.”

“And yet, I keep getting these amazing hands! Can you not see how I am the new King of Games?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going chuuni…”

Raziel laughed as he watched his sister grumble. The Combat Airships were slow, so they had started wasting time by playing Poker. Raziel was beating his sister by a wide margin, easy claiming win after win as he used some rather underhanded tactics to secure his continued winning streak. A mixture of Card Counting and intentionally manipulative deck shuffling kept him in a distant lead over his sister, not that his sibling seemed to notice that he was getting more and more sloppy with his actions in an effort to see if she would catch the tricks in action.

“I don’t understand why I’m not winning… This is Caravan, right?”

Elizabeth’s words caught her brother off guard as he stacked the deck.

“Where do you think we are, the Mojave Wasteland? This is Poker, not some wastelander’s pastime. Think of this like you’re in Las Vegas, not New Vegas, silly.”

Elizabeth sat in silence for a while before she seemed to comprehend the truth.

“Ah, that makes a lot more sense. Now, deal a new hand and I’ll show you my skills.”

“So be it, but you aren’t going to win, you know.”

“Now that I know what we’re playing, I know when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em and when to run.”

“Then go ahead, Mr. Joestar… I mean, Ms. Nekronus.”

…

An officer in a very spiffy uniform approached the two children as one of them started to have a psychological breakdown in front of the other.

“HOW?! I’ve been stacking the deck, counting cards, doing everything I can to win, and yet you just keep winning! How?! Tell me how!”

Raziel was clearly distraught as his sister reclined in her chair, her hands behind her head as she leaned back. The cards on the table between them could not have been clearer, and the chips that had once been almost entirely on Raziel’s side now were stacked high with his sister.

“What was that you said, brother? Something about the Heart of the Cards?”

“Bull. Fucking. Shit! There is no goddamn way you are this good!”

“Perhaps this is your true capacity after all? When you get down to it, you aren’t a pro, and I am. How exactly do you think I was getting all of my extra money for all of my stuff and things? The House does not always win, especially when it is as bad as you are. You can stack the deck and count cards all you like, but when you are as bad at it as you are, there really is no hope for you.”

Raziel stood up, tossing his chair to the side as he fumed.

“At least I still kick your ass in Old Maid, Uno, and Go Fish.”

“Childish games, won by a child.”

Before Raziel could have another outburst, the officer spoke up.

“My Lords, we are beginning our final approach to the ‘Northern Jewel’ of the Sultanate.”

Elizabeth and Raziel seemed to immediately forget what they were doing prior to the officer’s interjection, looked at each other, and then looked back to the officer.

“We’re going to attack Constantinople, right?”

“No, Lord Raziel.”

“Then, to Istanbul?”

“No, Lady Elizabeth.”

The twins then looked at each other and asked as one, “It can’t be Constanbul, can it?”

“No…”

The twins asked as one, again, but this time there was a bit of disappointment in their tone.

“Fuck, is it called Istantinople?”

“Yes, that is the name of the city.” The officer replied, unsure of what the fuss was about.

Raziel picked up his chair and placed it back at the card table with a huff of irritation, which was copied by his sister at nearly the same time.

“Who the fuck decided that was a good name for a city, especially a city in the exact same place as that city?!”

“I know, right? It’s like the person who named it was completely unable to think of anything remotely original.”

“Amateurish at best.”

“Complete rubbish, really.”

The Twins continued throwing shade at the person responsible for naming things for a good seven minutes until eventually the officer, who had been quietly standing by the whole time, decided to intervene and save a certain someone (you know who) from shriveling up and dying due to being incessantly mocked by their own creations.

“Ahem. You can see the city from here.”

This was reason enough for Elizabeth and Raziel to stop their mockery and turn to look out the viewport. Below them and somewhat far in the distance was a city placed on a natural chokepoint. If anyone wanted to cross from one sea to the next, they would be forced to pass by this atrociously named city, and said city still had some tech left over from the First Sultan that allowed the person who controlled it to have a tight grip on that passageway.

Essentially, there was no way for a navy to cross from sea to sea without either paying up or taking Istantinople. But how had that knowledge been gained by Darksol, you might ask? Well, the Naga had tried to cross the straight, only to be rebuffed by an invisible wall that only they couldn’t pass through.

This, among other reasons, was why the Twins were here with their fuck-all massive weaponized metal balloons. Zalga wanted to access all the waterways in the world (for Kain’s glory, of course), and the city was not just a fortress that needed to be crushed, it was also a place with such a terribly unimaginative name that it gave Necrograd a run for its money. There were other, more important reasons to destroy the place than its name, but that was the reason that the Twins had settled on and it was what would be written in the history books.

It would still be a few hours before the flying metal ovoid objects were able to wipe the stain from the map, and if the Twins had their way, they would make sure that what was eventually built on the ruins of the city would have a much better name. Even if they couldn’t be bothered to think of one, they could crowdsource it and at least name it something amusing like ‘City McCityface’.