Kain surveyed the assembled forces. They were few in number, weak in power, but ultimately served his purposes. He looked over at the grim reaper-esque black metal colossus of a golem next to him. It had come time to use one of his vassals for a certain purpose.

“Can you be certain the entrance will pop up in the right place?”

Zero Noir, the man who had reincarnated into this world as a giant golem and the Dungeon Master that ruled The Dungeon beneath the castle in Necrograd (at the whims of Kain and Alexis), nodded vigorously.

“Yes! I am certain! This will work, so please let me live!”

Zero Noir was paranoid after witnessing the displays of power Kain had shown during and before the invasion of Teutonia. He certainly did not want Kain to turn the floor beneath him into an improvised nuke like he did in that one Teutonian city.

“Relax. Even if it is off by a few miles or so it will serve the same purpose. You need to stop being so jumpy. It is unbecoming of a potentially nefarious Dungeon Master to be so paranoid.”

“S-sure. Whatever you say, sir.”

Kain sighed and looked over the zombies that had been gathered. There were only a few dozen of them, which was not even enough for a single unit of them. However, their purpose was not to actually cause damage. At least, not the fatal kind. Their purpose was simple; they were to test the growth of the Heroes and see if they had actually matured or if they would fold at the slightest touch. If it was the latter that happened, then they had spent the two months since his and his wife’s visit doing jack all, and thus they were not worth notice.

If they had improved even the slightest, then they would be able to deal with the paltry 55 zombies. Normally, getting them to their destination would require a march behind enemy lines, but with Zero Noir’s ability to create an entrance to his dungeon practically anywhere Kain could use said entrances as a sort of fast-travel for his forces. He fully intended to exploit the hell out of this if there was a need to get an entire army to point b from point a before x amount of time had passed.

The Dungeon rumbled as if to signify the creation of the new entryway.

“Yes! Awesome!” Zero Noir yelled as he thrust his arms into the air. “Direct Hit!”

“Direct Hit?” Kain asked. “Where did The Dungeon entrance open?”

“Inside the women’s portion of the monastery! Can I go out and see the babes? It will be my reward for a job well do-!”

Alexis, who had been minding her own business up till this point, shot a baleful glare at Zero, who quickly silenced himself after apologizing.

“I will not allow you to expose yourself to the potential attacks of them. Not until we know their limits, at least. However, if I am not mistaken, you can see through the eyes of your creations unless they are killed, right?”

“Yeah… I can… Where are we going with this?”

Alexis shot a glare at Kain, but he ignored it.

“You are a pervert, Zero. I understand that is a part of you that cannot be erased. I understand you have a desire to see nude women because you are a virgin who never even had a girlfriend before you became what you are. I can understand that drive. You are, deep down, still human and still a straight, cisgender guy. So, instead of letting you or your creations go out and do naughty things to women so you can get an indirect loss of virginity, I will permit you to send small insects, rodents and other normally unnoticeable creatures outside. Not in Darksol or its allies’ lands, of course.”

“So, what you are saying is that I can peep at the enemy?”

“You will have to sate your perverted mind somehow, and I would prefer it not to be by raping people vicariously.”

Alexis was livid.

“My love; how do you expect to explain any reasonable benefits this might have to me? Do not forget, you are mine alone. If you intend to sneak off down there to be a voyeur, then I will be forced to eliminate the source of such things here and now.”

Zero Noir tried to hide in a corner of the lowest level of the dungeon, but his massive frame still made him a massive target.

“Lexi, you misjudge me.” Kain said calmly.

“How so? You are a man, are you not?”

Kain chuckled. “I have an idea of how to destabilize the ‘Light Lands’ using this pervert’s twisted desires to our advantage. We use his creations to act as-.”

“WAITWAITWAIT!” Zero Noir interjected. “I see where this is going!”

Alexis’ gaze fell on the giant metal man.

“Oh? Then explain before I shred you, tin man.”

Zero Noir made the motion and sound of clearing his throat before starting his appeal for mercy.

“Ok, so, I can use the mobs under my command to take scandalous pictures, see? And if I take a few pictures of people high up in the chain of command in compromising positions and then print them and circulate them in the ‘Light Lands’, what will happen?”

Alexis’ face didn’t change much from her look of contempt, but it did lighten just a bit.

“I see. So, we use the fact that we can spy on them in private to air their dirty laundry? That could cause them some issues, couldn’t it?” Alexis mused.

Kain affirmed Zero’s and Alexis’ statements. “And, when the war finally starts, we can even use it to turn the rank and file against each other as well. Just a hypothetical scenario, but when you go to battle and you know that the man to your right has been sleeping with your spouse behind your back and the man to your left has been stealing rations meant for you, can you be expected to fight to protect them? With this, it becomes a simple usage of the phrase ‘United we stand, divided we fall.’. No reasonable person would be able to overcome such anger, and if you have had a revolving door of superiors due to each of them being revealed in disadvantageous positions, then you have no real command structure to speak of.”

“Yes, I see now. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking poorly of this metal pervert.” Alexis countered.

“And, what about the Founder of House Carmilla?” Kain retorted jokingly.

Alexis opened her mouth to respond, but realized that defending Carmilla, the horniest, most perverted and most hedonistic of the Vampire Houses, would make her a massive hypocrite, so she merely muttered the words, “Fair enough…” and accepted the burn.

“Now,” Kain said as he ordered the zombies out of the new entrance and into the convent section of the segregated monastery, “let’s see if the Heroes are worth anything at all. If they fall to this, then they were not worth worrying over. Only that one that could understand the threat we posed is a real concern, but I wonder if they can see the amazing potential that he has…”

“Speaking of which.” came the voice of Lord Wolfenstein from behind Kain, which made the Abominable King jump slightly.

“Fuck! Don’t do that!”

LW let a miniscule smile flash on his(?) normally stoic face before continuing.

“I meant to tell you sooner, but the one called Wakanda T’challa Jones has been excommunicated and deemed ‘Not a Hero’. I took the liberty of assisting him in securing an escape route. He is currently on his way through our lands. I mean, your lands.”

Kain took the news as poorly as LW expected.

“So, they threw away the only one among them with any hint of visible potential?” he growled, his voice seething with wrath.

“Yes.” Lord Wolfenstein replied. “It would seem that they lack the foresight needed to see that just because his creations have no innate mana that they are no worse than natural things.”

“Irrelevant.” Kain spat. “They just threw away their biggest ace like it was worthless.”

Kain looked over at Zero Noir, who felt the overwhelming rage surging from the ruler of Darksol flood the area like a biblical apocalypse.

“Zero. After this test, do what you want to the monastery. Same with the people there who aren’t Heroes. For such a foolish and self-damaging action, there must be… punishment.”

Zero nodded furiously and watched as Kain and Alexis left The Dungeon. As he watched through the eyes of the rats and birds he sent to act as his eyes and ears, he felt a mix of relief that he could indulge in his perversions and a sense of fear that if he ever failed Kain he would be the one to face a horrible fate.

“Well… I guess I always wanted to see stuff like this outside of the internet, and P*rnhub only had so much of what I was interested in… But if he decides to go back on his word and punish me for doing it…”

Zero struggled with his dilemma for a time before deciding that making a future Kain angry through the rape and torture of the people in the monastery was not an outcome he wanted, and just watched the show unfold. He summoned a container of popcorn and took a handful as he watched the zombies flow out of the new entrance. He tried to stuff his mouth, but the snack just bounced off his mouthless metal face.

“Damnit. I wish I had a mouth, working digestive system and reproductive system. Why, oh why did I ask for a giant golem body?”