The butler who had forced Arschloch to undress and bathe finally forced the overweight Field Marshal to stop cleaning himself and tasked several Skeletons to do the rest as due to his girth Arschloch was unable to reach every nook and cranny on his body. Arschloch never asked the Head Butler’s name, as he could care less about the ‘help’ and instead decided to look as good as possible so as to leave a good first impression on whoever was going to grill him. He had money, he had influence and he had women, (mind you he intended to pull a bait-and-switch regarding his promises of those things, but still) so it stood to reason that he could use those as bargaining chips to bribe his interrogator and secure a way home. Never mind that the three things he intended to use to bribe the being that would question him were all in Teutonia, because Arschloch was sure he could give promises he had no intention to keep.

As the last drops of water were wiped off of Arschloch, he was hurriedly dressed in a well-made doublet and escorted to the throne room. Entering the massive room, he spotted a rather tall and well-built man who was sipping some wine from a crystal wine glass. Eager to get a head start and earn a potential ally (a disposable ally but an ally nonetheless), Arschloch approached the sharply dressed man and began to try and win him over to his side.

“Sir, we both know that this ‘nation’ is doomed to collapse. If you were to aid me in my escape, I would make sure you were granted titles and land, not to mention a place at my side. I have the ears of the most powerful man on Mortis, the true ruler of the world! The Leader would be more than willing to overlook your previous affiliations, and we could even have you named an ‘honorary Teutonian’. I also have quite the amount of money, not to mention a good many attractive women for you to indulge in. I highly recommend that you consider my offer carefully, it would be a loss for humanity if you were to decline my deal.”

The tall, muscular man seemed amicable and seemed to consider Arschloch’s offer, but the bargaining phase was ended when the Head Butler, a man by the name of Sebastian (because of course he is) announced the arrival of the Crimson Empress herself.

“To all affected parties, I am pleased to inform you that her highness, Empress Alexis Draculina Nekronus von Darksol has arrived! All those not of the imperial family, bow in deference to the Crimson Empress of the Midnight Aristocracy!”

The doors that were opposite of the two thrones opened and Arschloch’s nightmare walked through. The towering bombshell beauty that had scared him into an unconscious state entered the throne room and strode confidently up to the left-side throne and sat upon it. Sebastian once again announced another person.

“I also wish to inform you of the arrival of the Court Mage, Alistaira Crowley!”

Another blow to the self confidence of Arschloch struck home when the second of the two women he had attempted to flirt with teleported in beside Alexis. Arschloch was pouring through his scattered memories, trying to remember where he had heard of Alexis and Alistaira, and then it hit him. Alexis was the wife of the Abominable King and the first Vampire to ever exist as well as being the first true undead to exist. Alistaira, on the other hand, was the terrorist responsible for blowing part of Albion into oblivion with a single magic spell.

Both of these femme fatales could end him in a single moment and with a single thought or twitch, and the knowledge that he had tried to flirt with them made Arschloch terribly afraid. If anyone ever found out that he had flirted with either of these two he would be stripped of everything he owned! He had to salvage this mess by any and all means possible.

Sebastian cleared his throat and spoke to the near empty throne room.

“Finally, I am overjoyed to announce the presence of the God of Death himself, the Abominable King, the Dark Emperor, the True Ruler of Mortis, Kain Anathemas Nekronus von Darksol!”

With those last words the tall man that Arschloch had been attempting to win over walked up to the right-side throne and took a seat. Arschloch’s mind went into full panic-mode and he very nearly lost control of his bowels and bladder again. The fact that he had just tried to buy off the Abominable king himself was what really pushed Arschloch over the edge. He had effectively played a hand he thought would be a sure win, only for it to turn out to be a dead-man’s hand instead. The failed Field Marshal slumped to his knees and a look of utter defeat ended up covering his face.

“It’s over… I’m done for… Everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve strived towards…”

Kain held back his maniacal laughter and asked Arschloch a set of questions.

“Yes, it is over for you; but would you rather it be over for you or for Teutonia? Just because you are beaten does not mean Teutonia is. Don’t you care more for your beloved Fatherland than your own hide?”

Arschloch snapped and yelled out at the top of his lungs.

“To hell with Teutonia! All that matters to me is ME!”

Kain paused and Alexis spoke up.

“Is that the view of only yourself or the view of all others in your position?”

Arschloch already knew he was doomed and thus told the truth.

“Of course, everyone thinks the same! Did you think we got to our position through hard work?! The only thing that matters to anyone in the top four layers of command is their own skin! There was only one damnable asshole who got his position not through bribes or brown-nosing, and he is dead! And good riddance too! When everyone back in Teutonia finds out that ‘Lightning Krueger’ has died, the high command will celebrate that the last vestiges of the old and antiquated order had been erased! As for you three! I WILL escape and I WILL return with the full force of the Luminas Confederacy and I WILL destroy everything you care for! Mark my words, you and all the other inferior beings that are not pure Teutonians WILL be purged!”

A surge of killing intent shut up the rambling and ranting racist quite quickly, and Kain made a gesture as if to motion for something to be done. When the hand of Kain stopped its movement, Arschloch’s hated rival seemingly materialized not too far from where the idiot stood.

“I trust you have your answer to my offer now?” Kain asked, his question directed towards Erwin Krueger.

Krueger had a look of both resignation and acceptance and finally gave the answer that Kain had been hoping for and one that would both doom and save the Teutonian Knightly Junta.

“Yes. I accept your offer. I will serve you, for now, and will aid you in making Teutonia a place truly worthy of being called the ‘Most Noble of Nations’. I trust you will not go back on your word?”

“Of course, I will not.” Kain affirmed, “Teutonia will exist as a state within the Darksol Empire as agreed. I trust you will uphold your end too?”

Krueger saluted to his new Leader, his right fist placed over his heart and his body as rigid as a board.

“Yes, my Leader! For the glory of the True Empire!”

With the defection of its greatest man, Teutonia no longer had an adequate way to defend against Kain’s forces. While a counterattack was not being planned, Teutonia would eventually feel the full might of the now unrestrained tactical genius that dwelled within the mind of the only man who honestly tried to keep their sinking ship afloat. ‘Asshole Arschloch’ on the other hand, would find that he had no future in the world that was to come outside of a single purpose, the test-bed for the creation of a new type of undead.

The Teutonian Knightly Junta was now at the mercy of both its own corruption and the greatest threat that had ever graced the planet. Its fate was now sealed.