Have you ever wondered if those things written in some novels about someone sticking out like a sore thumb and being some sort of protagonist due to her tendencies to be too probing and outright ability to not think things through is true? Well, I can say for certain that I'm not that at all, except I tend to get into situations are beyond me at times, and most of the time they end up dragging me further down. It's not that I'm unlucky, as I'd like to believe. I even think that it's out of my reach sometimes as to why these things happen. I can't find answers mainly because I tend to leave it as it is.

"You have a lot of nerve getting in my way. Not only that, but you have the audacity to bump into me as well, sullying my uniform? I knew you were poor and pathetic but to this extent? You never cease to amaze me with your limits, you coward. Not once, nor twice either."

As the girl with a sharp tongue lashed out at a certain someone that I know, that certain someone retreated his head back, hiding behind me. He quivered in fear of her like a supposedly proud dog facing the whip of a cruel catcher. With his hand tightly grasping my cape, he whispered into my ear with a wavering voice.

"Wh-what are we going to d-do, Lucia?! She looks like she might hit us with a spell or something!"

I sighed. This isn't the first time this has happened. In his case, he's a sort of magnet for trouble. I don't blame him for it. I don't even think he asks for it at times. But, we have to look out for each other. After all, he's my friend.

"Don't worry, Frais. Calm down. We'll figure this out. She can't actually use any sort of magic against us or she'll be expelled."

I whispered back to him, hoping that he'll ease his tight grip on my cape. Though he tried to hide behind me, he was quite tall, so the crowd in front of us could see him and his short, brown hair sticking out like a sore thumb. I'd known him for the first month that we've been enrolled in the Academy of St. Lumiere, a place for nurturing all kinds of talents. And thinking back on it, I think something similar to this happened as well. I was in the same situation where he found the closest person to hide behind, and I was there at the time. With no hesitation, he asked me to help him get out of that mess.

"Can you let him go, Clarisse? He didn't mean it, that's for sure. He's not the type to do something like that with his own intentions."

"Don't butt into this, Ellys. You're a nuisance as well if you're starting to forget. I can't believe what I'm seeing. A man who can't stand up for himself and a tomboy that's lost in her own world of fantasy. You two are a pair made in heaven if I've ever seen one. Hmph, you're not even worth my time."

I tried. I knew that she isn't the type to calm down so easily. She gets worked up a lot, and most of it is when things don't go her way. It's not that she's privileged. If anything, she's pretty capable. It's just that she's sitting too high on her own pedestal thinking that most of the people around her are beneath her. That's one of the reasons not a lot of people try to get close to her as well. She isn't fond of people who aren't worth as much as she is, from what I've gathered through our recent dealings. It's just wild guesses though.

But to be worth as much as her. I think that's quite hard to manage as I am now. She has her own standards, that's for sure. I'm just glad that she's not too aggressive this time.

"Try that stunt again and I won't hesitate to call a duel between us. There I will show you your place. You've been warned, both of you."

She puffed her chest proudly and stormed off with a glare, her cape whipping around as she went down the hall to her left, leaving a wake of onlookers to murmur and gossip to each other, looking at the two of us with a mix of curious glances and rumors. A crowd usually forms when this happens. They disperse seconds after, clearing the hall as the guards begin making their rounds, keeping the peace, which isn't usually stable.

Once the crowd disappeared, Frais let out an exhalation of breath, slumping his shoulders, as if he had been lifting something heavy. The fear on his face was then replaced with a smile as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Thanks again, Lucia. You are really something else. She's just too terrifying for me. Whenever I see, I always feel that something bad is going to happen. Then it does, but I don't exactly know why."

"Don't worry. It's natural that we have to look out for each other. Just be careful next time. I think she really means it. And if it happens, I don't think I'd be able to help you as much."

"I will be sure to keep that in mind, Lucia. I know I can't repay this right away, but just know that I'll do the same thing if something happens to you as well. You can depend on me."

He gave me a bright smile of assurance, something that'd always catch me off guard for some reason. I just get surprised at how his face looks if it's not tense or stifled. He looks decent enough to match everyone's standards here if he works on his slouch.

"That's a relief to hear, Fraise, thank you. But it is amazing that something like that happened to you so early in the morning. I thought you tried to go to class earlier to avoid happenings like that?"

"Indeed. But even that didn't matter. I'm not tied to some red string of fate, aren't I? I wouldn't want to think that I'm marred by misfortune for all my life."

"Cheer up. No one can be that unlucky. Now let's go to class. We still have time before the bell for the first period begins."

I thought about it, what Clarisse said. It wasn't such a good idea to dwell on things that bring you down, but it's something that makes my stay here ironic. It has something to do with my daily life here and the specific course I'm taking. I'm what's called an Artisan, a student in St. Lumiere studying the path of the elements, Magic, and the Arts. To be enrolled in the course means that you have to have a certain degree of ability to use spells, even the most basic of it. Most of the students in the course know that and possess those abilities, otherwise, they wouldn't be here at all. But the thing is, I don't quite have the same proficiency that they have.

"Miss Ellys, why don't you try your hand at this basic fire spell?"

A long-haired woman that was my teacher, gestured to me with her wand, a stick that looks like it was custom made to look austere and high-class to match her image. She didn't look like she was intentionally singling me out, but I can't say no either.

Frais and I had already spent time studying more into the current topics of the day, then spent the rest just talking and using up time, however, we saw fit. He was my tutor in magic since he volunteered for that position. And he's quite good, but not excellent. He says that he's satisfied with being able to have enough rather than having too much since he fears that having too much power within might harm you. But he's not opposed to getting better.

As the first period started, so did my trials for the day.

I stood up and took my wand, heading down the steps and down next to the teacher's podium. She wrote on the board the words that must be uttered by the caster to make the spell work, then took a step back, allowing me to take the spotlight all to myself.

Everyone's eyes were on me, and of course, the murmuring started as I raised my wand, looking at the words on the board, trying to etch them in my mind. At the same time, I tightly gripped my want, trying to block out the noise that's been making its way into my head.

--It's her again. She can't cast spells at all, can't she?

--I don't know what she's still doing here despite all that.

--It's pretty bold and stupid. She's just wasting her time.

--Hey, be quiet, she'll hear you. Just pretend that you're not looking. It's not as if anything will happen. She can't use magic anyway.

She isn't wrong. I don't think I can pretend either.

I tried to swing my wand, whispering the words, but nothing happened. I tried once more as the teacher encouraged me, but nothing changed. The fire that was supposed to appear was absent, but somehow, I didn't feel that down about it. Part of me knew that nothing would happen, but the other part of me hoped for something to magically appear. But then it just became silly that I slumped my shoulders, gave out a wry laugh, looking to my teacher.

"That's quite alright, Miss Ellys. One cannot simply harness the powers of magic at the snap of a finger. Your mind, body, and soul must be prepared to take on the task of mastering the elements, bending them to your will, and eventually invoking them to aide you. And on that note, I would like to remind you of our incoming trial. It is mandatory, so I will ask you all to be in attendance, otherwise, a harsh punishment for being tardy shall come. Please take a seat, Miss Ellys. Effort is a student's friend. Keep that in mind."

Heeding her words, I made my way back to my seat next to Frais. He had a concerned look to him, unable to speak his mind until things had settled down.

"D-Don't worry about that, Lucia. I know you can do it. It just takes a matter of time and practice. Let's go to that place again during lunch. We still have a lot of time before the Summoning Trial begins. I'm sure that you'll be able to succeed before that time comes. I won't just let them kick you out like that either, so I'll be giving it more than a hundred percent!"

"I'm in your hands, then, Frais. I just hope you're right."

Frais and I usually hold an extra class between the two of us in a spot that isn't as crowded. For the past few weeks he's been helping me make sense of magic and how to use them, but nothing's happened yet. But I'm not about to give up on that. After all, the Summoning Trial is due soon, so I need to give everything I've got if I don't want to be expelled from here.

It's a pretty harsh ordeal and punishment. The Summoning Trial is something that is sacred to the people in the course. It tests someone's aptitude and gives them a partner for life from where they'll be bonded for as long as the gods deem possible. I've only ever heard of the specifics from Frais. It's also where people are judged whether their future will be grand or not. Though that last part is just an extra bit, it's apparently true.

In one of our lectures back then, we were told of people who Summoned beings that had great power, and some who Summoned something that didn't stand out much but still elevated them to a high status because of their achievements. It always amazed me whenever I read things like that. I wondered what I would get when my time comes, but then I'm always reminded that I might not be able to get anything at all.

When things start heading to that point, Frais reminds me to not lose hope and keep giving it my all. I'm grateful to him for pulling me back every time.

Soon enough our class period ended and lunch came around. We got our food and headed straight to the spot we always went to for practice. There Frais would show me how to cast magic, though he does it nervously.

"There, the chant for a fire spell. Let me show you how it's done once more, then I'll go into detail of how it works."

Frais held his wand out in front of him and started chanting. At that time, smoke billowed from his wand, then ignited into a small flame the size of that on a candlestick. He immediately hid his own surprise of being successful and switched to his more professional side, as he says.

"I can't really explain how it works, but there's just a certain feeling inside you that is warm. As far as I know, it's all about how you feel and how you want things to go. Vaguely speaking, you just have to command it as best as you can and muster enough energy to hold it down to a manageable amount. Sorry if I can't say more about it. I'm a novice myself, and even I'm surprised as to how I'm able to do something like this."

The flame went off, and his expression flipped into disappointment.

"No, don't say that. You're helping me out a lot. I appreciate that. You're already doing a lot for me as it is, Frais. But maybe I'm just not cut out for magic."

"You can't give in to those thoughts, Lucia! If I can do it, then so must you. We just need to keep trying, I'm sure something good might happen."

"I hope you're right about that."

As time passed, the bell rang, signaling the end of our break. The two of us parted, each going to different classes. He encouraged me one last time and left.

The entire day felt like I was looking at a clock winding down, or maybe an hourglass losing all the grains of sands while I do nothing. If I don't figure out anything by the time the grains of sand run out, then I'll be expelled. They don't exactly need someone in a magic course who can't actually use magic, and that's the consequence if I don't produce any results by the time the Summoning Trial comes around.

How did I even get into this kind of course if I didn't know magic in the first place? That's a question that boggles my mind to this day. There's a memory of mine in the past that I've been trying to remember, but can't. All I see is a shade of static blocking out those memories linking back to my past. If only I could see what it is, then I might finally realize what's been wrong all these times.

I returned to my room after classes, not stopping by somewhere else for the day. I lived in a dormitory for girls, only of the other buildings linked with the massive academy. I also had a room for myself, but that's also quite a pain to be reminded of seeing how expensive it is to pay for one. It's just cost after cost. I hope Mom's feeling well. I wouldn't want her to keep worrying about these things like I do.

I dressed in my nightclothes, a comfortable pair of pajamas I was given by my mother the day I lodged here. It was a light pink one with white stripes on it. For some reason, I couldn't sleep at all. Sitting on my bed wasn't doing me a whole lot, so I did the only other thing that calms me down.

I opened the window and looked out, seeing the moon at its fullest, beaming a white light down where the gardens are. From down there, I could see a figure walking towards the dormitory with a spear in one hand. She looked up and waved at me, then continued walking back. Soon after, a knock sounded at my door.

I opened it, letting the exhausted guard in. She placed a small, wrapped box on my table, then her spear next to the wall and took off a few of her armor, plopping herself down on my bed looking like she was about to faint. She hugged my pillow tightly and gave out a sigh before looking up at the ceiling and spreading her arms out.

"Thanks for letting me in, Lucia. I was just about to lose it. Three straight days without rest isn't good for a maiden."

"You're welcome, Noel. But aren't you going to be in trouble if you stay in for too long?"

"That doesn't matter. The captain of the guard is a bit too moody for my liking, so he can wait for me for as long as he likes. I wonder how he hasn't been chasing away those girls trying to get them to go out with him. I don't think he put them into a trance, but I just can't see him being overly affectionate with someone, let alone have any emotions for that matter. Besides, what's more important is paying a visit to my dearest friend. So, tell me. I heard that your Summoning Trial is coming soon. Are you ready for it?"

Noel was a friend of mine from the Squire program. It's as the name suggests, training people to become like knights eventually. It's a rigorous course that I've only caught glimpses of, but I could clearly see that they're serious about training people to become capable of a sword. If I remember correctly, the people in the Squire program serve as secondary guards for the academy, hence why she has all these equipment with her.

"I can't exactly say I am. Frais has been helping me, but even with that, I'm finding it hard to figure out what to do. I've been reading these reference books from the library as well, but nothing."

"Speaking of Frais. I heard that idiot dragged into another mess of his! I swear, he has to man up for himself. I'm not seeing a bright future for him if he can't save himself from trouble. But what's more important is that he dragged you into it! I'll give him a lesson when I see him tomorrow, that's for sure. But hey, I know! I can help you pass that Summoning Trial."

Suddenly, my ears perked. I found myself listening closely to Noel as she gestured for me to come closer. The expression on her face says that she's serious, which only made me more anxious.

"I've got a friend in town that has a summoning scroll. I think it's a bit shady since it summons anything at random, but it'll do the trick, right? It's at a pretty hefty price, but with it, you'll be able to stay in the academy."

"No, I don't think that'll do me any good. I've been thinking anyway. Even if I say yes to that, what'll happen to me after? I might still not know how to use magic after that. Then I'll have to admit that I've been wasting my time here, as much as it hurts. Maybe it's not so bad."

"I'll figure out another way then. I know you'll find a way. I'll be praying for a miracle to happen, too. For now, just keep doing what you've been doing. I'll come back soon to tell you if I've got any luck with figuring out how to pass the Trial."

She stood up and squeezed me, wrapping her arms around me and shaking me wildly from side to side.

"Goodnight, Lucia! I know you'll pull it off. Just remember, though. If you've got any problems, we're here for you. So don't ever hesitate to tell us, alright?"

"Thanks, Noel. I'm glad to have met you two."

"Don't say something like that. It almost sounds like a line from a drama. It's making it seem like you're going away. I'd be fine with a good night, or a see you later."

"Well, if you say so then. Goodnight, Noel."

"That's more like it! You should smile more often. That's one way to get your spirits up. Oh, and by the way, I left you a little something on the table there. It's your favorite. It was pretty hard getting through the line as usual, but it was worth it."

And with that, she left. When she said favorite, I immediately knew what she meant. The growling in my stomach only made my mouth drool in anticipation. If this really was it, then there was no doubt that it'll get rid of my worries no matter what it was.

"Even if it was the end of the world, I think you're the only thing that can help me calm down."

Lo and behold, it was the marvel of all desserts. It was what completed a night's meal no matter what standard of living one had. A mere look could melt away my hunger, but I didn't have the guts to just stop there. That would just be insulting. Oddly enough I found myself having an episode everytime I had the chance to eat something like this, but it isn't so bad to indulge once in a while.

The small serving of what was made to be a cake with a glistening frosting topped with a decor of strawberries and blueberries coated in fragrant honey adorned the swirling tower. Then on the sides were a hypnotizing hue of strawberry syrup dripping off the fluffy cake's sides.

I always tried to savor the first three bites, but after that, there was no holding back. In the blink of an eye, the dessert had been cleaned from the plate, and there was an empty spot where I was hoping another serving of cake would be. But, I couldn't eat too much of it. It was something that was for some occasions, and frankly, it was something I'd eat for my birthdays. If anything, If I were to give it to anyone, then I'd say they were special enough for me.

After time passed by, and I was satisfied with the dessert, I prepared for bed, taking off the necklace that had been given to me by my father. I looked at it before setting it down on the tabletop. I considered it to be magical since it would change its glow at random. Right now its color was a beautiful emerald shine. I considered this to be a sort of remembrance since it always reminded me of the things that had happened back then. Now, whenever I had a tough time with things, I would always close my eyes and spill all my troubles into the necklace, thinking it would somehow relay them to my father.

I know it's a bit too much to be thinking of something like that, but I'd rather believe than to not believe anything at all. It's the only thing I have that reminds me of him other than my few memories, after all.

I doused the fire on the lamp and began to fall asleep.

*Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *Thump*

The sound of a heartbeat, again. Where is it coming from? Every night I fall asleep, I always have this strange dream that starts off with someone's beating heart. Strangely enough, I can't figure out where it's coming from since it feels like I'm being led by the hand as if being shown something instead of allowing myself to run free on my own dream. Sometimes it doesn't feel like my own either.

"Hey J...nn, what are we going to eat? Are you going to cook my favorite again?"

"Huh? Are you serious? You just ate that yesterday. We're going on a diet. If you build up too much baby fat, then you might become even lazier to do housework. You'll thank me when you're older."

"What a stingy brother you are. I'm not lazy at all. I cleaned my room. I think that deserves a reward."

I can see the image of a dining room where a fire was heating a pan with meat and vegetables on it. The house looked old but homely. It wasn't big, but it felt like it was enough for the people I looked at. I could see the man's face. He didn't look that old. If anything, he seemed to be remotely close to my age. He did look like he was constantly irritated by something though. A strict face, sharp eyes. Seems like someone who would be hard to get along with.

I was sure I heard his name though. I just can't remember. Despite the times I've dreamt of something like this, his name is always a blur.

Despite the rough descriptions I had of him, he was responsible. He cooked, cleaned, washed the laundry. I don't think I remember seeing any sort of scenery that looks like what I see from this dream. it feels distant, yet I'm not so sure myself.

I could hear his thoughts as well. I've heard it countless of times. Despite what he said to the little girl he always seemed to scold, he cared for her a lot. He thought of her all the time and had no other things to bother with. It was as if he had dedicated his life to her.

It then flashed to a scene with a festival happening in the background. Even going there he thought of her, watching her closely so that she doesn't hurt herself through her reckless actions. He was a brother to her even when she didn't really think it.

"Hurry, Hurry, we're going to miss it!"

"If you don't slow down, you'll trip. Wait for me. You're going to get lost in the crowd for sure."

But then the girl he called her sister, Tricia, began running into the festival, disappearing into the crowd. He chased after her, bumping into people, but then they all disappeared in an instant. A wall of flame then surrounded him, and there, the echoes of people asking him for help harassed his ears. It wasn't just that many, there were thousands, maybe even more. Children to the elderly. They all called his name, reaching out to him like vengeful apparitions. I tried to focus to at least get a name from him, but every time they opened their mouths no sound came. But the man looked like he was in pain.

He groveled down on the ground and breathed hard. His thoughts began to pour in with a relentless word. Just a string of words. Apologies, all of them. He even said their names, all of it, thousands of them. He remembered. Each name he spoke only made him breathe harder and harder. The beating of his heart was loud and unsteady, almost as if it was going to explode. Slowly his tears started pouring as his hands began to curl tightly. His back shuddered, and from then on, he agonized to no end.

With each name said, one of them disappeared. It went on until they all disappeared. Then it was only one that remained. It was his sister. She wore tattered rags that weren't even meant to be called clothes. She wore a body of scars and bruises, bound with chains on each of her wrists and ankles. Her name was the only one that he couldn't say. He was at a loss for words and only found himself crying fully, saying sorry over and over.

Then he stood, slowly moving towards her.

"You abandoned me, big brother. You left me to die. Why? Did you hate me?"

No, wait, why are you saying that? He didn't hate you at all! I saw it, he cared for you the most. I didn't see a lie. I've seen him countless of times make actions that deny those kinds of allegations in his own dreams. He was far from someone who could abandon anyone for that matter.

Yet, no matter what I said, it didn't reach them. The man sobbed, and the sister who had suddenly become wrathful began to torment him. It was painful to look at. I wanted to know why and how, but it felt like I might lose myself if I found out what made her become like this.

"You abandoned everyone. You kept making false promises to everyone, deceiving them and leading them to their deaths. Why is that? You couldn't save anyone. All you cared about was revenge and your pursuit of power. You are no brother to me. You killed me, brother. I hate you... I despise you... I loathe you... I wish you would just die."

She then started walking into the dark. He tried to chase after her, but then a man appeared from that darkness. He had an expression that was cold and terrifying. He looked down at the man and smiled mischievously. His hair was pulled up so that his neck was exposed. At a single blink of an eye, I found myself looking from his perspective. I was terrified. I wanted to wake up and forget about this. But I couldn't.

The man with the sword looked at me as if I were in the dream. It felt like my soul was being judged, and that he had a tight grip on it as well. I couldn't speak, nor move. I was just there, to experience something. Maybe relive it. But the man with the sword spoke.

".oha..ess Is..s. Your absence, I will relish. I will give you a slow and painful death. Realize with the meager time you have that you cannot save anyone."

His blade then sliced his throat. I felt the cold, sharp steel on my neck, and instantly, I woke up, breathing hard and feeling my neck to see if the same had been done to me.

It was still the middle of the night, and the moon still shone up high.

I got up to drink some water, then took some time to cool down. My heart would settle down, but at this point, I had grown to be used to it... just slightly. I cold sweat ran down my spine as I tried to remember, but then it all started fading away. By a few minutes, I couldn't even remember it all anymore. Maybe a few bits and pieces, but nothing that would help me find out who he was.

What does he have to do with me anyway? Why do I need to have these sorts of dreams?

I gave up, realizing that I don't have the answers to my own questions. I have my owns problems to worry about, so I fell asleep thinking of that instead. It didn't usually happen a second time, the dream. But I was divided between being curious and being terrified.

I didn't know what seeing that dream meant, but it was only two things. Yet I can't see anything good coming from it.