Chapter 3- Delusion

Wandering back home , i stare into the empty space and think with a muddled mind. Even with the trip to memory lane have gain me nothing but more healthy doses of reality. So many things are there but different in a sense. Walking down there have made me realize that everything changes whether your like it or not.

I hate it honestly, things changing. But what can i do? The wheels of time turns whether we like it or not. But despite that im here walking on a dark road thinking about my purpose.

Goals and aspirations doesn't exist to the me right now. I ask frequently why i don't possess those things right now. Was it because because of the sickness or hell i have gone through? People always lecture me when i say things like my life was terrible.

They plaster me things like , im lucky to be alive, lucky to walk around,lucky to have all my limbs, lucky to have food to eat and much more. But despite that i always reply to them with ''so what?''. So what if they are suffering? Why compare when each and every person out there has their own kind of suffering? IF such thing is suffering to them then it is their own brawn of interpretation of suffering.

I hate it the most when people compare me to someone. I hate it when they say ''look at him ,he have one missing leg and his still is positive and cheerful'' Because it merely tells that person has cope up with their suffering. His and mines suffering is different. I know it's a bratty and immature way of thinking. But it's the truth. People are not the same. We don't have the same mindset.

Why am i telling this to myself is something i don't even know myself! I started running in the dark streets of this town. I continued to run into the place where i started this whole fiasco. Back to the dim lighted rooftop. Climbing the stairs was exhausting. I collapsed and laid my back on the cold cement.

I sigh deeply, then i look at the sky and just thought how big everything and wide the universe is. In this planet that have 7 billion people on it ,im part of them. Like a batch of cogs ready to be put on as replacement for the clockworks to work.

It's stupid, why am i even thinking of such things? Im a tiny speck of dust in this vast world. A speck of dust that will never shine in the batches of sand. A mere person. Someone who will be mark as NPC if put into a game.

Only a few are able to be the true protagonist of their lives. Some have started with the easy difficulty and some starts within the hard difficulty.....

While im thinking of such things, the world got darker and rain pours out from the sky. So i run back into home.

Running and running till my breath become irregular. Then as i lose the strength in my legs i tripped. Then with a twist the back of my head hit hardly in the ground. Then the world spin as i slowly lose consciousness slowly as ifmy mind fades away to the void...