=== Chapter 12 „The End”

I was still in Pina’s avatar body, I think? I remember when I did that, I started to fall for a long time. Just now I noticed that I was on the ground and quite beaten… but I was still barely alive nevertheless. The place I was in was dark, but my eyes picked a faint light. There was a giant glass screen in front of me, some buttons and a control panel. Wait a second, this looks like a bunker since I was underground.

I tried getting up from the ground, but I was still in pain a little, so I only managed to drag my tiny body towards the light. Something in front of me, like a giant red button, was flashing as if it was inviting me to press it. It was however... too high for me to reach with my hand so I gave up on trying. I rested my back against the console, and thought to myself, what is this place? And what did happen after all these events we went through?

When I say we... I mean the party I was with. If I fell down here, their bodies would also surely...

Though I don't want to think about again, it's just too sad. I just need to calm down and...

[So you have arrived I see? Well then, welcome to my lair and congratulations.

You have made this far and forged your destiny on your own, but your reward?]

[Wait who are you... I can't see you at all. Show yourself!]

[It's me Pina, you should remember my mortal form, which was designated by the name of Wolf.

I have not revised my name since but I did undergo a change, and I am a different person now.

You must be glad seeing me here, I am wrong? I probably am, but let me recuperate your loss first.]

This Wolf person, he was certainly someone similar to the man I saw before but was he really a god now? I wouldn't be surprised if he was given those powers after he became a hero, yet there is something strange. His voice is not the same so I wonder, is he the same person I met or someone completely different?

As I was getting confused I noticed that in the darkness there was some sounds, like walking or standing up. They came from a far away opening, so I could barely hear it, but my heart was strangely ignited from them. They were familiar and close to me, those click clicks... there is only one person that wears heels like that.

I couldn't believe my eyes, but due some kind of miracle, my lady was standing in the opening, along with the others. She answered my gaping mouth and shocked eyes with a gentle and elegant smile, followed by a curtsy. I wanted to scream and run at the same time from excitement but I couldn't move.

[Oh my dear, a little kitten has found herself broken like a doll and unable to move?

Fear not my child, for this gentle owner shall wind up the marionette into life again.]

And with a warm and tender embrace, I and my lady both came together again—after I thought that everything was lost. Her tears fell onto my shoulders and mine traced my chin down to my breast. I could feel their warmth, as if they were a replenishing healing spell cast by the Priest. That's to say...I regained the ability to move normally again.

[Look I can move my legs again! It's wonderful, I can squad and jump and do things...

Just like a normal girl. I just want to dance and sing and even modelling would be...]

[Shh... don't need to get so excited over this simple pleasure of vibrancy. Oh my,

this must the first time I see you so lively that this lady can't simply say no,

I shall accept your request, but for now let's focus on the present, my dearest kitten.]

[Oh right, I thought you guys were dead, but somehow you are standing here...

And there is also something wrong... with the way my body is right now.]

[I shall then explain the circumstances. It is true that you have died, but you were resurrected.

This happened because the energy of the tree was released and we no longer could have continued our plan.

As you know, the ancient humans, or gods as you call them, devised the plan to save themselves from us.

We were considered as a potential imbalance to their realm. To get rid of us they had to awake their sage.]

As all this story was happening, I was just really glad that we all made it in the end...I mean they all died right? So what is Wolf saying right now must be the truth, right?

[Their plan was to induce a sleep state upon the residents of this world. Afterwards, waking them up would affect the sage as well. Using those who were already in a drowse they spread the infection all over and had everyone running. We have foreseen that, and our countermeasure was to give the humans a dream from which they would not be able to wake up. The tree that you destroyed was the source of that dream, and now the world will wake up, though the chances that the sage will wake up are minimal, due to our doing.]

[I understand, you made everyone sleep and protected the garden so that it would be everlasting?

The true grace can only be found inside of a dream, and a beauty sleep is needed sometimes, I must say.]

[Right now people are waking up and everything is returning to normal, but we are not able to predict what will happen next. The sage might already be trying to perverse the world and create their own tree, one that will warp the reality into a cycle. Our tree merely gave an illusion of that. Alas, there is another way for us to win, something I rather wish not to resolve to. The panel before you is our final fail-safe. Unlike putting asleep, it will cause everyone to sleep eternally, and the end will come.]

The end will come? By that he couldn't really mean... the end of the world? That was our goal from the start, so all this time we only needed to press this one button... and this thing is going to decide the fate of the world...

[What do you mean by the end of the world? Do you have any idea...

I had my life flashed in my eyes! You bastard! You want us to...]

[It is quite so I am afraid... I don't really mind doing it,

but my darlings should have already know this lady's conviction.]

[So we press this button and everything blows up?

That kinda sounds cool! I mean I already killed someone...]

[Cease your pointless talk, for I dare to say we are not here for chatter.

We have been brought here to show our determination in the path that lies ahead.]

Everyone started to look at each other—did they really want to end the world like that? I mean...Havah probably did not realise what was he doing and Avaria... she simply didn't care. As for Yuki, she wasn't decided yet, just like myself. I mean I did already brought ragnarok to that tree...

[That is very so, if we could have just done it ourselves we would already, but the problem lies in the decision.

I have examined your souls and your sins speak for themselves, I can't allow for such dements to operate. Pina if...]

[You say that we do this because we are crazy, because we were born mental, or that we became mad and twisted,

but that is not the case. It is the society and our elders which put us in a situation where our actions are wrong,

we have been marked as the villains. If anything we always wanted to be normal... to love and give love to others.]

Yuki spoke first in a rush, she usually speaks very fast. She wanted to defend herself from those accusations, if her words reached him at all. Wolf was looking at me, not at her, as if I was the one that was worth his power.

[You must understand my children, destroying the world is not throwing your tantrums at elders,

but ending it and everything you care about. The sacrifice is something you must understand before...]

[But the deconstruction leads to beautiful creation, doesn't it? I say Wolf,

you should understand that the from the ashes a phoenix is born, in flames.

We are both artists and want to create a magnificent world, we are the same.]

This time, Havah, who was posing as a fiery bird, tried to convince Wolf. His words did make sense so the god did give him a gaze, but then returned to me.

[Have you no shame, youth of the world? Treated by the blight your minds twisted towards the sin.

No fake messiah is going to forgive you, thus you must repent yourself, and see your faults before...]

[Alas my dear Wolf, you might not be wrong, that a wicked lady like myself belongs in the deepest part of hell.

I dare say, money is the best lawyer in hell, thus the image is too fitting isn't it? ohoho~ However,

I detest from any more assumption as this fair madam has already began her rehabilitation. It is true,

isn't it Pina? Perhaps you are still rooted in your own guilt, Wolf, thus allow us to take it upon ourselves.]

Avaria, with her crafty gesturing hand and with a deep blow attracted the attention of the god, but he wasn't going to give her much of his gaze. This time he did not turn back at me, but at Juger.

[You must at least understand that there are other ways to save the world, other than destruction.

Have you lost all faith in your convictions dark knight? Is the weight of justice that heavy,

that you can only do what must be done under the hammer that judges it all? It is not too late to...]

[Even if your tongue speaks accurate, perhaps for the first time, their justice knows nothing about the truth!

In this world where the code of chivalry is just an empty world, is it really worth to search for another way?

The rot and lime now will remain passed throughout the generations, and plague the very core of this earth.]

Behind the monitor I just noticed... it was like a seed daubed in a purple and slimy substance. It was gooey and sticky, like a transparent sap, I couldn't look at without having my stomach turned.

[This knight say, justice is the basis of society,

if you twist it you destroy the essence of it,

thus we cannot allow for this to continue.]

[The matter not lies within what is right or wrong, but what is going to happen afterwards. Do you really think,

with conviction, that burning this seed wouldn't bring a birth to repetition? It will not change the nature,

and eventually the poisonous apples will grow again. If we search a way to cleanse the earth from the blight...]

[We don’t need Rain to fix the world, all we need is fire. We don’t need your solution, we have our own way.]

This was true for others all well, as their nodded in unison to Juger's statement. I nodded too, albeit a little slow... because I think there is something we can do...

[World isn't created perfect and there are no perfect things, humans, or solutions to all of your problems. Thus this knight rejected and betrayed his god, leaving his teachings behind. Listen well, Wolf of black fur, you were the one that was chosen to become a hero by Lunar, and given godly power that would save the world. Yet, you have failed, since the blight remained unchanged.]

A heated exchange of piercing gazed was traded between the two black figures.

[And even so, what makes you so certain that you will succeed at all? What is the secret behind your wicked conviction of destruction?]

[Understand our difference—we can do what you can’t. Since we are not unlike, we have nothing to lose. As the outcasts of society, as the misfits of society, only we can birth the truth into the world, using unpleasant words normal people are too scared to speak out loud. Becoming the evil for everyone’s sake, we shall do everything within our power, as we choose not to sit idly for the Rain to come!]

The rain to come... even though I always say that love the rain, the word gained a new meaning now. The power of twisting fate... the one ability exclusive to gods. I think I believed in that a little, that one day with hope my legs will heal and I would be able to stand again. But here I am in this cave, with Wolf's power I am able to walk, though I feel that this is not truly what I desired in the end.

Albeit shaken a little, the god in front of me looked at me again, as if I was the only person he could speak to, the only one “normal”, whatever that meant. But I also didn’t feel like that anymore...

[I don't want this world of lies! Wolf... I thank you for your generous gift,

the dream that was so dear to me. But I refuse your gift, so I can make the choice.

Just like the others who didn’t get it…I too rather live in reality than inside of a dream.

Even if it's like a nightmare... I don't hate it, because I accept the consequences.]

The dream of a perfect society... in one that everything can be fixed for the better. Is that really an illusion? If only that sage would awake and tell us kindly... but I don't need his wisdom, because we have our own will. My hand was on the button, and it was joined by everyone else’s hands. I could feel that our fire burned greatly.

[“You can only do what is within your power...” The same words as him... be it so, I accept your decision.]

Without looking back, we all pressed firmly on the giant red button... but nothing did happen. I was quite confused to what was even supposed... and when I thought about pressing it again... Suddenly the screen lit and showed our imagines from the world. It was a peaceful snow filled place.

[No... Penkun! You didn't die that day... I'm sorry... don't die!]

It showed a penguin group that was... well they looked that had trouble breathing and fell to the ground. In the snow... although they tried to struggle it was pointless. Soon, their movement ceased completely.

[My beloved... you truly did love me in the end? My only regret...]

We watched a scene where both Havah and Yuki were embracing each other... in their last moment before their breathing stopped. Similar to the way on the screen, the two watching also started to choke and grabbed her necks... though they couldn't stop it.

[This is all the people from Everkeep? They do deserve that fate but...]

Now the relay was showing the town that Juger live in, it was a not destroyed in any way, though its residents...A few faces where shown, I assume it was his friends that died there... He tried hard not to shed a tear, but eventually he was getting strangled as well. I and Avaria tried to help him but he pushed us away.

[Is this... oh no! Sister please... I'm going to disconnect you!]

Though I wasn't sure how to disconnect myself even... The broadcast showed my sister’s character sleeping on the bed, choking and wheezing. She was struggling and fighting to the end... but before I could reach my hand there...

[My lady...]

My time has come and my hand reached for my neck as well. This is what they all had already experienced, the searing pain in the chest, legs and arms going numb, and the air escaping the lungs. I thought that...I could somehow fight it, that if I had my arms to my neck I would avoid getting strangled but it only got worse...

My lady tried to help, trying to stop my choking, but she only managed to hold me until she herself...She pushed her body away, knelled down and grabbed her neck, falling on her side. I was with her, on the ground. Losing consciousness I could no longer hold my grip and released my hands... My legs went cold and so did my arms. With the last vision I caught the glimpse my lady's face. It was forcing a smile and her eyes were peaceful...

I could no longer feel my avatar's body, nor would I return to my own. I was in an empty place, the darkness without any light. There was no joy or sadness, nor any warmth or coldness, I couldn't feel anything—I was completely cut from any sensations. This was the end of the world.

===

I was unable to stop the end of the world and sadly the worst has happened. Yes it is true, the players were given a choice and if they wished they were granted the power to do so, but in the end it was my responsibility to convince them otherwise, so I'm also to blame.

I do not fight with lies—neither did I agree to all of that, I was merely a victim as well. In this world controlled by adults we live as their slaves, dancing in our mystical circles. Unending is our suffering and great is our pain, thus the anger raises and burns all logic.

The destruction and a new begging, that wasn't my job now. I was merely a broken cog, someone who wanted to push out because they didn't fit. And yet, after my second try, I did not get the result I wanted in the end. The lies became their shell once again.

...

[It is you that give me life and taught me a lot, for that I can't blame you. It was painful,

but I did realise that you had your problems I couldn't fix them. For that I blame myself.

Although in the end, if we blame each other constantly, nothing will actually change right?]

I played a character called Juger in a video game, but now I was just myself, visiting my parents’ grave. I no longer live here, in this temple where I was raised. I am thankful for the past, the good and the bad past. Many memories come back, but I will push forward nevertheless, just like I also do, even without my god.

The story of my life is just not worth telling to others, since they will just turn their faces away from me. “A child from a degenerate family”, “someone who tries too hard to become a better person”, “you are the problem”, I heard that too many times now. But all that is now in the past, as only people around from here would remember.

[Say dad, maybe I didn't understand you fully, but what did you see in gambling? You were a priest,

shouldn't you see that all this is the lord's will, and that you are tested? Greed is a grave sin,

but for you it was a pleasure. Maybe you lost all hope and decided to leave it to the luck of draw?

I'm sorry, people no longer say "God does not play dice". That theory was overtaken by the Chaos one.]

I know that isn't that quite fitting of a quote but at least it would be perfect for him. He wanted me to appreciate his hobby, showing that there is no virtue in attachment to money. But he didn't saw his own madness, unfortunately, and died as a lonely and greedy man to others.

[I wouldn't forget about you mom either, you were there for him in times of need.

It might have been not for your best, since you body couldn't even support yourself.

But I admired your effort and really did want to earn that money for your cure.]

But in the end, not even all the money in the world was enough for your cure. Yea, I agree perhaps I did not talk with my mother a lot—she was the silent most of the time. She would sweep people's problems under the mat and pretend that they didn't exist. Maybe that is why she decided to show mercy and marry my dad... I thank her for everything.

[So enough about you two, I should be talking about myself right? Well nothing interesting has happened,

I'm still in the middle management and unable to find a girlfriend. I know that you are probably upset,

but I have been single for this long. It would be awkward for me to suddenly go dating in my fourteens.]

I have a better job to do than to pursue love. I wish that someday, I would be able to save this society from all the evil in the world. It is broken without doubt, and even if they do notice they don't do anything. That is why I must become the dark knight that shows them the truth. This crusade is my repentance after all, since it is hard for me to say that I truly loved my parents. That is the guilt I must always carry with me.

In the end, I could never say they were the best parents for me or that I was the best son for them—that does no matter at all. What’s in the past is already over.

===

The sum we spend into developing Synapse gave us tester privileges that allowed us create the MMO we wanted. Since our world is a virtual one, there is an illusion of whenever the sensations are real. Thanks to that, we accomplished something that was not yet seen in gaming before, something foreboding.

We can only technically overwhelm the senses of a human to the point it's hard to resist. The player is simply put in a dream-like state and functions as if they were inside of the game. This is however not true, and although they still perform actions with controllers as if they were playing, their minds tell them that they actually move exactly as their characters does on the screen.

This method however is too invasive and not permitted for commercial use outside of health care. Furthermore, some of the procedures include near death experiences of patients attempting suicide. Thanks to Schuld, we were able to get a licence for that, since we managed to convince their company that we have such people. Also we can’t do that officially, but we made it clear in the EULA, that players also accept everything on test servers.

...

[So what do you want to say Havah? You seem very eager to talk to us today,

thus we can't hold our excitement. Please tell us what is on your mind.]

[I have realised everything, about my DID and about my memories. You don't need to lie any more,

for I have seen the truth. Really, it was that hard for me all this time to accept my brother’s death...]

[Listen honey, you don't need to be this hard on yourself, I know that you are suffering so...]

[You know nothing of my mind so be quiet and let me finish everything okay? Jeez you people...]

Well, I have decided to do this, because I have become a new person thanks to her. I thought really, yea I am enjoying this and I'm helping her grow, but in the end she was the one to show me the way, my hidden truth and its beauty. I'm not the best person to become a boyfriend or a girlfriend but honestly, I don't care really. I can only thank those that helped me get through all of this, which are not my parents.

[Yea I met a girl online and we had a nice time, you can blame her kindness. But that's not important right now.

What I want to say is it took me this long to notice, that all I wanted was attention from you, and my brother.

I was the twin who was the shy and the weak one... that is why I wanted to become like my brother when he died.]

[That's... quite interesting actually. It is the first time we are hearing so I must say,

we are sorry we did not notice before. Elsewise, if there is anything more you need to speak with us?]

My father, who was clearly the alpha male of my family, would always give me and him a hard time. “You got to practice”, “don't cry like a girl” and so on. Eventually it only showed how weak I was, which brought me to tears. The only person there to protect me from the bullies was my brother. I thought that if I became like him... I would be able to protect myself from the terrorists too.

[Of course that's not all! I didn't talk to you all this time so obviously it's not just that.

You know what DID make people do? They form their own memories and different personalities.

Before I couldn't tell, but now, as I recognized that there is a contrast between my behaviour...

that my memories created a person I wanted to become, which was impossible for a dancer like me...]

[So you have aspirations honey? We all know how you love ballet, but please consider.

You are already of an age and you can't really afford to be chasing impossible dreams,

just like you said. We want you to think about your future carefully, as we will support you.]

[Of course your support is everything you could have give to your child... however I don't need that.

I love dancing and I want to purpose it. If not for that, I would have not realised anything.

Yes, that sounds ridiculous but I discovered the truth by tracing the steps of my past self.]

[I'm glad to hear that honey, but you are an adult now, you can't think of a ballet career now.

It takes many years for young girls to even get the chance at becoming a pro. It's sad to say,

but the reality is hash honey, and we have to make decisions based on rational thinking, isn't that right?]

Sure it is... because you are all normal people who were given all the choices. As for myself, what I am to do with my condition? If I simply quit I fear all those false memories would come back. All those thoughts and tribulations from the past, the bullies or the time the terrorists attacked...I have to be strong for myself, and somehow convince them that I am right, or else they won’t believe me.

[Here is my answer. Ballet is my life and so I think it is rational to follow it.

Without it is like cutting my strings, I become a lifeless puppet. Behold!]

I took a letter opener from the table and crossed my legs in a shape of scissors. With the knife between my fingers, I opened both of my palms near the chest and then clutched them into fists. My right hand resting on my heart, my left hand with the blade over and near my neck, this was an act of desperation, but I have already killed someone.

[Havah! Please stop! We don't want to quit ballet—we just want you to find something different,

something that you can do for your career. We really want to help you realise that you are...]

[A defective person? Someone who needs to go through all the schools while his peers are done with college?

I don't want to say you are wrong either, but rather I advise you to stop trying... I'm not a normal person,

I'm an artist who seeks beauty above all else. I don't need your methods—I will crave my own way!]

In the end the adults always have a plan for us, pulling from the knowledge of previous times. Now, we chance after our dreams, away from their intention, away from the old society norms. We have to avoid the mundane everyday existence we thought they had, no matter the cost.

===

There was a miscommunication when we released the zombie event. I was to become Wolf, but I never formally have agreed to that. How would the event play was that the players had to gather, defeat the zombies and somehow survive to the end. But I never appeared to tell them that.

I was logged in, sitting in the forests and pressing the button towards no one. The company didn't even notice, or care, though my father did at least. He said that perhaps I was doing the right thing, but I feel sorry for them. The players never got to know the rules and had to figure out the mystery for themselves. And the problem was, there was no mystery to begin with, so they could only run or log out. Alternatively they could hide in the garden.

I must say if I was a game developer, I would say Avalon does a lot of things that are not okay game design wise, for their events at least. You see, they do really grey things, like the thing that happened when you die to zombies. Though the first wave was selected randomly amongst random poll of NPCs, if a player was killed, they turned into a zombie for twenty four hours, while for AIs it was infinite. However, when someone killed the zombified “you”, you regained the control over your character if you logged in, no matter if you were online or offline during your death. Very few players actually knew about that mechanic.

...

Well I don't get always the best of ideas, but something recently pissed me off quite bad. I was asked to visit my relatives so we all talked and had a nice together. Are you having fun? Of course I couldn't say no, sitting somewhere in the back, but at least everyone else enjoyed their time. This torture however was the last straw. Right now, I'm going to get my revenge on my parents.

[Yes hello mom? Sorry for calling but there is something important I want to talk about.

I know it's late but perhaps you are free now? It won't take a lot of time really...]

[Yes sweetheart, I am always happy that you call me and want to talk about your problems.]

[So I'm sorry to say this over the phone but I'm pregnant...]

[Wait what? Are you serious sweetheart? That's lovely! I mean we should all celebrate.]

Wow what a bitch! I said that so she would get worried or even panicking but she congratulated me instead. Of course that was a lie by the way, but I wanted to push it further. I didn't want to make just even, I wanted to defeat my mom once and for all. Her fake smile or whatever... damn I'm so mad right now!

[Oh yea I know, I'm also very happy. But I was thinking a lot past twenty four hours.

You know, the handsome gentleman that made me a baby was a person I meet online at first.

We went to a hotel and did it for real this time and my... it was amazing I tell you.]

[That's fine sweetheart, I'm sure all the juicy details can wait for now.

Can you tell me more about him? What is he like? Is he a proper man and everything?]

[He had DID and actually killed someone in the game, but worry he is a perfect man for me.]

Even though he was born as a girl I think? I don't really mind at this point honestly, after all those boyfriends maybe it is okay for me to try something completely different.

[Uhu... I know that he has a brilliant character already, but does he work? How much he earns?]

[I dunno I haven't yet asked about those questions, but he likes ballet so he has passion.]

[Oh okay, that's fine, it's really okay. Maybe I can meet him sometime?

I mean you are planning to marry him before your tummy inflates right?]

Well I could tell she was losing it already, so my mission was accomplished, though partially. I needed to break her, and show her no mercy whatsoever, just like she was treating all this time.

[At some point yes, but I'm not sure about that. If he decides to take responsibility then sure,

but on the other hand, I can always get an abortion and another baby, that wouldn't be a problem.]

[Wait a second there, what abortion? You guys are in love right? Tell him that if I see him running...]

[Oh are you going to murder him? Well good luck he is skilled with a knife by the way.]

[tsk... my daughter saying those thing... you have no shame yet? I actually thought...]

Yea I would have realised by now too, but in this state I probably will get her to talk, finally.

[Yea you can have your typical life where those things don't happen, but I have my own.

No one is perfect, or normal in your language, but you wouldn't understand that ever.

Just keep pretending that everything is alight with me, and what I really need is a job or something.]

[Sweetheart... I think we need to talk in person about this. I'm quite displeased you have said that.]

[Don't worry I'm not taping this call or something. Tell you the truth, that guy is real though, we only met in VR.

By we I mean he became my boyfriend with all the implications. Yea, I love Havah and he is really sweet you know?

It's my first boyfriend that has no connection to you whatsoever. Are you going also to deny our love or something?

He is not worth you sweetheart, you should get a better man... screw that! I simply can’t help “that”, so accept it already!]

[Don't you shout to your mother child, I didn't raise you like that. I can accept the boyfriend,

but only after I met with him okay? If he doesn't convince me you can forget about the wedding money.

And one last thing, who is paying for your apartment? If you managed to get a job I'm fine, goodbye.]

Wow she was really pissed saying those last words. But she is right, I probably need money, or else she is cutting me from the family entirely. Oh yea, like I cared for her anyway...Somehow I will manage with Havah I hope... But if I don't there are always the cold streets...

In the end I rather live on my own, without the help of my mother, than to regret not making this decision.

===

We initially made tree boss to be a worldwide boss, but when we realised that the number of players was dwindling. With that we had to scale the encounter to fit for a smaller group. Before we noticed it just became a miniature boss. Well I didn't really care but the whole point was that the players could ally with either Wolf and Lunar or their enemies.

Choosing to destroy the tree was also ruining the plan of the hero and waking up all the affected AIs. Choosing not to destroy the tree, but defeating it nevertheless, was to accept the rebirth of the sage. If that happened, players would no longer be able to log out and run their AIs for eternity. They now had a dream allowance, which they had to fill somehow... though that would happen anyway, in spite of which path the players would choose.

Because the whole point was to force a new way of the AI allowance, we had two narratives ready which would explained the change, either saying that Wolf with Lunar was the cause of the new system, or that the sage was the cause of the new system. However players would never learn about this so that they will always think they had an illusion of choice. Pretty smart, and it's all thanks to my father. Anyway, the boss itself was a pushover so we had to nerf it for low lever players anyway.

...

Ring, ring... someone was at the door? I don't think my sister would have returned home this early. Anyway I need to get up from the ground and into my wheel chair... I told her to not to forget about the keys.

[Hello, you must be Pina right?]

[Hello miss... I mean yea that is my name, how did you know?]

Actually that’s my character’s name but... I responded before realising that.

[I had a good guess, I'm Avaria by the way.]

In very fancy clothes and light makeup, caring a bag and parasol, someone calling herself Avaria... Wait I know her, I mean a character from that game... was that her? She has my address as well...This was getting more and more embarrassing because I was only wearing light clothes on me.

[Ehh... please come in!]

I couldn't think about anything to say, I just started to flail with my hands, opening the door for her. Luckily I didn't manage to hit anything, but it seems my lady didn't mind my attire at all. In fact, she was acting all natural, just like she would in the game. I still couldn't believe it was her.

[So what are you doing around the house Pina? I mean I could help you with anything,

since I'm already here. You don't need to shy about yourself since I only came to visit.]

[Yes but then again... let me change first okay?

I dunno what can we do though... I really don’t.]

[Please, this is enough. I shall take you outside for the day, is that fine Pina?

I was planning to do that from the start you see, just didn't know if you were busy...]

[Oh yea I was busy... trying to clean around the house, but don't worry about that.

Anyway, I know it's a disgrace so I shall tidy myself and... prepare for our outing.]

I asked her to come inside, but she preferred the corridor... Well she will be okay, though I can’t make her wait all day. Anyway, I don't have many clothes I can wear but I'm going to borrow from Hina—she wouldn't mind that. She has the same size and all, so it's fine. Also, when we are on the topic, I need to say her cord is quite... fitting for her imagine, although she looks more casual than princess-like.

[Okay, sorry for the wait. You could have entered, you know?]

[It's okay, I would not want to force myself to dress you anyway,

just like I said that one time, remember? I do keep my word.]

Dress you... I mean with my disability I get a lot of “Do you need help?”, but not from Avaria...

[Yes my lady... for that I'm thankful.]

[And you don't need to be... this formal I guess? We are just two normal girls now,

don't let your head tell you something weird. After all, that would be awkward, right Pina?]

Because wearing a collar outside... even though in the game its fine, here that kind of thing is totally different. I don't want people to give us weird looks... especially I'm riding a wheelchair and she has the height difference.

[Yes I understand that... Avaria is fine right? We can use our real names if you want.]

[That won't be necessary—I'm fine with this pace. Say, when what the last time you did shopping?]

[That would be... too long to remember. I hate to say but I don't always enjoy shopping,

if it's not with my sister. But we are poor anyway... so my only mother buys clothes occasionally for us.]

[Then I shall take you to the shopping mall for you to pick something up,

Of course I'm not going to make you pay for it, so consider this as my thanks.]

Yea... If we are talking about Avaria I wouldn't be able to afford the clothes she is wearing right now. I could only imagine what kind of shelves she is getting her dresses from. Anyway I found the spare keys, and left my sister a note. I hope she won't get mad because it seems I won't be returning home until night.

So we visited several boutiques with Avaria, and I was pleasantly surprised. It seems she knows her way very well, though she ended up pushing me all the time because it was faster. It's such a problem to find fitting clothes for me, but as we went from the fancy and the princess-like dresses we finally found something that was matching with my style.

Afterwards she invited me to the park. It was a little cold but I had a warm coat and woollen tights on. Because I was shivering a little, Avaria went on and brought us a freshly steamed pork buns from a stand. I was getting hungry, and though I wanted to pay for that at least, she refused saying that I shouldn’t.

[There is no need to feel bad about this Pina, think about this as a business trip, minus the alcohol.]

[If you are the higher ranked person... I should be bringing you food.

I mean whatever, I'm really thankful for your visit and everything.

I was getting really bored of being at home all this time... so thanks!]

I made a healthy and warm smile after I took a bite out of the bun, so perhaps it was because of my mouth was still hot? Anyway, Avaria was quite delighted too and started biting into her own treat. She walked along side with me so I could see her, and we arrived at a fountain. Even if it was cold, it wasn't freezing. It was also still operational, despite the chilly weather... though just barely.

[Oh yea it's going to become cold soon so... I was thinking if our bill will go up.]

[Are you talking about money again Pina? Don't worry and listen...]

[I'm sorry it just split my mind...]

[I wanted to talk with you about that actually. You do art and I do designs. I know that fashion is also art,

but you see I'm not that talented at all, I just have a good intuition. I was thinking about opening a shop,

which would sell both my designs and certain other brands, if I manage to convince them. I have a huge wardrobe,

but it's only gathering dust so I was thinking of selling it away. From the money I should have enough but...]

She paused there for a second and I could only guess why. We stopped and she moved in front of me. Her hands, although a little cold from the wind, touched mine and we looked at each other's eyes. Hers were gentle and shining and mine were slightly dazed and curious. Like mother and a child...

[Say, I wanted to make you a part of this too, you only need to work as you did.

I'm going to print and do the ground work myself, because I can't really force you...]

[It's okay Avaria... since we live in the same town I think I can manage a normal job. Just look,

all this time I somehow did well by myself and would you say I did a bad job? You are almost like...]

[Ohoho~ I know, I am no stranger to condescension...I'm sorry for that. But are you okay?

If this will become a thing I am going to inform you of course, but that only if I manage...]

[Yea I'm fine with this... I want to go outside with you a lot more so don't worry.

Anyway you think I rather stay with my sister all the time? You know how she is...]

We both laughed a little, and then we hugged. Somehow she became a closer person to me that she was before...Quite a strange feeling, especially when you are lifted off the chair. All in all I had hope that this is going to work.

[Have you thought of location and name? I don’t mind if you just copy everything Brilliant Dream.]

[Of that I didn't ponder, because I basically need to do researched first.

I will ask my dad if he can help and see what I can do after that, okay?]

[Yea... I know it's just a game but I got used to that place.]

I honestly do feel like having a special attachment to that shop in the game world... It was like a pleasant dream that kept coming back every night I would go to sleep, but maybe it was just my imagination after all? I wonder if she feels the same.

[Hey, do you remember that one day... when everyone...]

[Do I remember what day, Pina? Have you forgot? Some things are better left unsaid.]

===

Our history shows that there are always individuals that say ”I had no choice”, “It was necessary at the time”. Like a chosen one who appears and saves the world, they too were normal people at some point. I detest fiction, especially heroes that were given godly power to restore order by defeating the evil. It just doesn't work.

What good is a conviction if it only lasts for a moment? How does that make our society a better place for later generations? Those questions can have answers but people will never stop asking them. If the history is depended on every single decision, the way to direct the human mind is what we seek. Total control of humanity... that is nothing more than a madman dream.

I learned to see how that power can corrupt the soul and I was against it. But then, my soon-to-be comrades deserted. Perhaps it was for the better that I would seek a way first. Yet those appearing knowledgeable were as clueless as like me. I was again forced to agree with my own lunacy, that there is no other way to save world, other than to destroy it.

[And yet you continue to walk the path of the moon, as I probably was the one to fund your trip.]

Far in the horizon there is a place called Earth. It was my original home that I left behind. I gazed at how insignificant the humans are—their ground is blue and green, my dust is grey. Without the gravity that could compare I floated a little, and jumped instead of taking steps. Small foot prints are left on the moon's surface, and no air is present, yet I'm still alive.

This life support was also due his decision and my weakness, but I wonder why really? All this time he wanted me to listen but his voice is far away... echoing in the space. I am hiding from it, on the dark side, where no light from the Earth was reflected.

I cut myself from all the signals because I wanted to make my own paths and convictions. I needed not the advice or suggestions... I thought that until now. It seems that my decision...it was weighted not by the gravity, but by the space waves. Truly if humans carry their free will, they should be able to rationalize. But I was unable, and admitted their decision to be the right one.

[And so you have agreed that what they did was right in the end, at least from their perspective.

Normally what is considered a free will is something you can control, but quantum mechanics are random.

Therefore is it okay to say you have no control over your actions? Even in the quantum model of the brain,

you can say that our will comes from somewhere else than the brain itself, and that opens your perspectives.]

The light that came to we was a shining beam from the Earth. It was a red laser, the one that measures distance, but to me it was a signal from beyond. What this voice was trying to say to me was that despite what I did assume, that despite the technology of today, something like randomness of the brain is still a theory. Then please if you can, tell me the answer to that question, where does the free will of human starts and when does it ends?

[What are the answers to questions to life and death? There are none, those are only questions.

You see, if god did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. With all this technology,

dreams and fantasies are seemingly possible, but lack narration. Whenever free will exist,

and how exactly it works is only up to you. Trust me, and trust yourself above else.]

The words of sage reached me once again. He dared to question my deductions. I must say, I wasn't quite interested in listening to him until now. He gave me the power to doubt. But I was confused, since Juger said that he had no other choice but to end the world. He made the choice himself, therefore whenever he had free will or not shouldn't matter.

[If he had free will, then he consciously did what he did. If he didn't then it was just a random chance.

However I think that all people who say that they had no other choice are hypocrites. For you see Lunar,

when you consider making a choice between doing it or not, that already says that your selection exist.

Furthermore if you only consider two alternatives then you miss all the solutions that are invisible.]

The deus ex machina answer. If that existed in the real world, we would be using that. But we can't, thus our choices are limited and it no worth considering those we have no access to... the voice is wrong. I could see the earth light faintly now, it shined upon my robe and reflected the glitter on my long hair.

[What is better, not knowing you made a wrong choice, or not knowing that didn't know a better one?

First you start listening to the music of the harp you begin to either harmonise with it or hate it.

Then you receive your seed, and it’s up to you to cultivate it, or whenever you share it with others.

But at any point of your journey, can you look back and say, could have my choices been any better?]

That is unknown just like the vast sky of stars. Can humans be satisfied with only their dreams? Yes, knowing not about the world outside is the true bliss of a child's carefreeness. However, ignorance that dream will last forever is not permitted. Harm comes not with knowing of different pasts, but not learning from previous mistakes, which is something that humans, even with help of gods, can't accomplish.

[But humans aren't made of perfect things, but rather contradictions. Is fiction truer and reality?

Are god's words more trustworthy than mortal’s? Is “evil” noble if it will reveal the truth?

Does destruction leads to creation? Are obligated to listen to your ancestors over reason?

All those things are questions that don't have a clear answer, but nevertheless they can be solved]

Before me an object raised from the ground. It was a giant tree broken in half that had green leaves. Its branches were split in the middle, and something like scales were hanging on each side. Unlike our tree it was real and cast a shade onto me. I stopped hopping to take a gaze at it.

[Lunar, I give you this word which is Tree. It is the symbol of choice and correlation between generations.

Just like others, you are free to do with it as you please. But look closely and you might see something else.]

Naturally I started examining the [Tree]. I jumped around and saw every corner of it, touched every branch, and tested the scales—there was nothing unusual about anything. But one thing came to my mind suddenly. Looking at it I saw Earth in the background—the tree shrouded it completely. Through the light rays that shined, the shade that was produced wasn't just dark, it had many colours of the rainbow and luminously radiated.

[This is no trick for that is the power of brilliant power of knowledge. When you consider all your options,

they are always limited in your head. Therefore the naive believe of a better way comes from not knowing.

Consider your brain a scale, and the weight your conviction. Any new contradicting information will bring imbalance.

Without the flow of the knowledge your decision making ability will degenerate, and that is the reason to stay open minded.]

If the cup is filled with water it will overflow when added more. Even if there is enough space to accommodate oceans here, it is only a mare to think the Moon’s vessel is bottomless. Destroying the world only makes sense if that is the best option, thus the sage is right about that. No matter the past you went through or your beliefs, your choice can only expand. Looking at the Earth I saw how the sun slowly covered its entirety with the light. I was reminded of something important.

I can only regret the choices I didn't do, thus in my hand there are two items. One of them is [Feather]—it is a symbol of courage given to the hero who saves the world. The second globe is a miniature moon, [Ashes], which is the token of indecisiveness that leads to ruin. I raised them both towards the tree, then to Earth, and dropped them into the flame. They both burned with a slight grey and white smoke.

Even since then I became free from the circle, from the straw men dance.

=== The end.