And that was your story, the how you got here, how you lived your first life and then the other.

I hope that you noticed what did you do wrong, or that at all, that you did something morally wrong.

But do be honest with yourself, was there a regret in a single decision you made?

Perhaps I will remind you of these words.

“One day you will too be asked by the old if you lived an honest life. Principles are what graveyards remind people about” A voice speaks.

The graveyard of the corpses is what you are sitting on right now.

“How did it become like this? All I wanted was a normal life.” You ask.

Why are you asking now? Don’t you remember what you did all this time?

“I was trying to save my mother.” You respond.

Considering that you knew the storyline of the novel, you knew that something bad can happen to your mother in the future.

You knew about a lot of events that could have occurred, and probably would, in spite of what you do.

But it wasn’t before the Ellien’s father funeral that you realized in what position you were,

that your happy life as Pyrecilla would end with your mother’s death, if you wouldn’t be able to stop it.

“I knew from the start what kind of life I want to live. I knew if I didn't save my mother, I wouldn’t be able to live on.” You say. “I adored her, as a character and as a mother. But I guess she was a villain after all, so she had to be punished. But do tell, wouldn’t a happy ending be better? You have the power to bring her from the dead, don’t you?”

I neither have the power to do that, nor do I believe that would be the right thing to do.

As you know, she was the villain of the story and her role was to show what not to do.

You remember your lesson about morality, right? People are born not knowing what’s right or wrong.

They have to be taught by others, whenever they use force or not, in order for everyone to live in peace.

Those that don’t fit, those that think of themselves as higher than society, they are going to be the ones cause problems.

And if you take moral lessons from the novel, that’s exactly what happened, didn’t it? Then that’s why she was punished.

Naturally, you can have doubt, you can say she didn’t deserve to be punished, or her death was too much.

But yet, that is again using your morality, isn’t it?

What the old man said was that humans don’t have the absolute power to speak of the true state of morals.

A divide being would be different, but I don’t think in this case that even the Goddess would have disagreed.

Both sides were wrong, so to speak, and both already received their judgement, didn’t they?

Now what remains is to question who is able to tell if what you did, or Beamortha did, was fine, besides the Goddess.

Would it be me, would it be a random unrelated observer or would it be something else?

“I see nothing wrong in what I have done. I only tried to save my mother.” You state. “It was you who did all this! You killed my mother and all the people here. You were responsible for Minorta’s mother's death! You incited peasants to go to Ellien’s house and the church! And you were also involved in the coal accident involving Emmi’s family.”

Is that really true? I recall talking to the two spirits that were fighting in the pond, but I didn’t control them.

I also remember suggesting to some spirits what they should do with the wind spirit, but I did not say they should tell people to kill Ellien’s father.

What can I say, I do have a reputation among humans, as you have read, but I didn’t control them when they decided to get rid of the abbey’s supply of coal.

And finally, the incident with Emmi’s house. Well she only heard what had happened but she didn’t know I wasn’t involved at all.

It was humans that did that, I was there only to watch and think of them. That’s why Minorta’s mother noticed my presence at all.

“Then you did nothing, knowing that harm would be done.” You point out.

And you also know that spirits and humans aren’t supposed to interact, right?

I happen to follow that rule, as you know, but I also question that law.

What if we could live together in peace? What if we could understand together?

The Goddess never thought that was possible, so we had a disagreement.

But you know, as a spirit who only questions authority I have to say something more.

What would you tell me if I said that I, a fire spirit, was responsible for all the human faults?

“Isn’t it obvious? It was stated in the novel.” You say. “That is the conclusion Minorta came to. She discovered that the fire spirit was responsible for everything, even the burning down of my mother’s house.”

So the novel spoke of the ultimate truth then? Whatever happened there is the reality here?

That however doesn’t explain your part, why are you alive here, with memories.

Of course, one explanation is that I brought you here, the deceased baby, back from the dead.

I am who revived you, gave you another chance at life, and brought you into this world.

But is this world really? Is it a novel? Is it just your imagination? Or is it something more?

“Does that matter, if you still were responsible for everything? Even if this world doesn’t work like the novel and doesn’t have to follow the plot, it still makes you the villain.” You explain.

Even if you say so, I wouldn’t be that sure. You know, the time during Ellien’s father's funeral?

That you were able to see the wind spirit, and that is also when Minorta discovered you were a fellow spirit medium.

She told her of her secret and hoped that you two will be great friends. But you rejected her.

It was your individual situation, your problems that carried over from your previous life that weighed you.

Because of them you weren’t able to connect with her.

And then, there was the event at Ellien’s house. You knew it wouldn’t end pleasant for you.

That’s why you wanted to run away first, but eventually decided to prove that you can choose your own fate.

Again, you did what was expected from a normal person, and helped Minorta.

Yet, what actually happened was that the crowd dispersed and went to their homes because of your action.

It is true that Minorta convinced spirits, but in the scene from the novel the priest arrives at the scene in the crucial moment.

He is the one that convinces the people to leave Ellien’s father, not your blond friend.

Because of what you did in place of the priest, Minorta didn’t get recognized as a spirit medium by the church.

Because you were a daughter of the most influential person in the village, they knew they couldn’t disobey you.

“Yes, and would you not say that benefited her? She no longer had the attention of the church to worry about.” You add.

That is fair, I suppose you might be true, but also that made her less confident in her ability as a spirit medium.

But further, there was the old man at the bakery. You acted out of character and ran away.

It was true what he said, you never turned, you simply dashed forward for no reason.

Thus, it was natural for him to suspect that you were a spirit medium or something.

And yes, you already decided at that point to avoid having contact with spirits altogether.

The ability to converse with spirits is a double edge sword, you said,

and if that was true then avoiding them altogether might have saved mother, you thought.

“If only I would have never met you, everything would have been fine.” You utter. “This power, this curse only caused problems for me, why wouldn’t I want to accept it?”

Regardless of that, what you did with the old man caused him to recognize you at the graveyard.

And then the scene happened, the one that was supposed to be between him and Minorta, near her mother’s grave.

I’m sure you do understand why though? That’s because it was you who ran away at the bakery, not your blond friend.

And then, at the school, instead of Minorta talking Davithea to believe in her father,

it was you who sent him to jail and prevented a happy family reunion.

All for the same of eliminating him from your life and proving him wrong.

You thought that could save his life, since in the novel he dies from the cold begging for bread.

Yet, instead he died anyway, in the prison, also due to the temperature.

“Should I feel responsible for that too? Of course I don’t.” You respond. “The man died eventually, in spite of what I did. I have no responsibility.”

But if you would have given him shelter and had Davithea accept him as her father, all would be well perhaps?

So in a way, just like you told me that I did nothing, you also didn’t the right thing to do, right?

You didn’t save the man, and instead, pushed him away for your own sake.

You acted within your own morals, but I should say you did that since you didn’t feel responsible.

All because you thought you were inside a novel, while the scenes happened regardless of what you do, right?

That is to say, it is only to be expected since you never had a father figure that you respected, did you?

“My father was simply there.” You say. “But I do not understand why my attempt at saving the man’s life was wrong then. And you only state of things I could have done instead, as if there was a better way.”

So to sum up, you befriended Minorta, who wanted to emphasize with you, but you pushed her away.

You wanted to help Ellien with her family, but you ended talking about yourself more than to her.

You wanted to become like Harrivetta, but she ended up denying your life’s philosophy.

You wanted your mother to survive and continue to live happily, but you ended up setting fire to the house.

Whenever that was all unintentional, or if you didn’t knew a better way, is irrelevant,

since the factual state was that your decision which caused the changes.

Therefore, it was your responsibility and yet you didn’t accept the blame or even tried to improve.

The old man tried to give you some sense, just like he did to Minorta in the novel.

Harrivetta tried to wake you from your post-truth world, just like she did to your mother in the novel.

But that wasn’t enough? That was too little for you to change your nature, the one you have brought from your previous life.

“However, you have to understand that my intentions weren’t wrong. I tried to help them, the old man and Harrivetta.” You explain. “How would that make me responsible for the things that happened? I can’t predict the factual state of the world, or if what my actions will cause.”

Well, I really don’t know what to say. You probably should think about it for a while and you might get it at some point.

I will tell you one thing, one issue about fiction that you should hear out I think.

You know how you find yourself liking the characters, like Harrivetta, who appealed for you the most?

You know how you felt the monotony of life at the farmland, like you wanted a carriage and other goods,

but as soon as you moved to the mansion during the winter break, all the luxuries made you appreciate life much more?

Perhaps that is how you envisioned your life in this world, while reading fiction and playing in Virtual Reality,

and once your imagination became satisfied, you also became happier.

But there is one problem, wish fulfilment, that stems from dreaming too much in colour.

If one’s head become too much into the clouds, if the reality for them becomes that of a fiction,

if the interaction between everyday people resembles a dialogue tree, if one believes there is nothing they can do,

but to simply enjoy their life passively, like a reader or an observer, then it becomes a problem.

You have been living in the novel, as a character of your imaginary fiction, since you always were afraid to face reality.

Because you were attached to the young maiden in the mirror, you couldn’t change your nature,

made the same mistakes, and never accepted the blame or consequences for your actions.

“That is not true, my time here changed me as a person. For the very first time I was able to express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being rejected.” You state. “That of course took time and I am thankful to Harrivetta, but she and I are ladies of different nature, of different upbringings, with different opinions, and there is nothing wrong with that.”

What fiction is supposed to give you is a critical view on your actions, your decisions,

so you can learn from it. Of course, that is to say not all social situations can be explained with words,

and that not all fictions are equally reliable, but at the very least if you continue to be critical,

looking for arguments against, rather than for, “Why is this right?”, “Why is this correct?”, it should be fine.

999

Basically anyone can prove anything as long as there is evidence pointing towards it.

However, because humans can’t observe the true state of reality, they have to choose something to believe in,

while it is much easier for them to trust in something that sounds right in their mind,

rather than employing critical thinking, the method which limits the possibilities by pointing their fallacies or improbabilities.

That is to say, it is comparatively the harder method, but in return it allows us to make less misconceptions about the world.

To further explain, let’s take your example with believing that was the world you read about in the novel.

You first noticed that during the Galnova, and following were many other similar events, that convinced you of the nature of this world.

All the evidence pointed towards that theory, and nothing could deny it. However,

it was just your opinion and lack of critical thinking that lead you to that conclusion.

But I suppose life is like that. Anyone would be confused waking up in another body and another world and wanting some explanation.

What else is that critical thinking is not about thinking for yourself, not agreeing with others, but doubting facts,

which might be something crucial to one’s understanding the world closer to how it really is.

Like the time when Harrivetta related you her thoughts about her family,

which you thought was dysfunctional, her opinion was completely different from what you assumed of it.

That’s an example of thinking for yourself, being under the impression that reality is the same for everyone based on your experience of it.

But it’s not just your friend, you also simply accepted the fact that you woke up in the novel and that caused you anguish.

Critical thinking would also be to doubt not your rational thinking, but the arguments, the facts that point towards it.

If you were to question from the start whenever you really were reborn inside the novel, then perhaps you wouldn’t suffer as much.

That is to say to state of true reality, one which no human can truly experience, one can only search through many equally logical possibilities,

and find which ones are most passable and reliable through science. That’s how facts are established, though they only speak of the most probable.

That’s why I do suggest listening to others, and being satisfied with partial answers to the existential questions.

Yet, another example of critical thinking would be your talk with Harrivetta in which she was criticising your behaviour,

telling you how lies and only believing in what you give an personal approval to lead to a situation like with your mother or Davithea.

At the same time, you didn’t rebuke her idea of a happy family and blood lines,

you didn’t deliberate critically about your ideal, thinking of it as a truth for everyone.

Instead you simply wanted to force her to admit that she is unable to change, that everyone is like that and that’s just how the world works.

“Was I wrong to tell her what to do? It is still up to her.” You explain. ”Even though one can’t speak of the true state from subjective observation, it is the experience that is most crucial for the individual. Relating it to others is what it means to be a person, so I don’t blame Harrivetta for trying to explain her position, like I did relate my feelings to her.”

When it comes to the topic of feelings and experience, that is only one side.

What you didn’t understand however is that not to listening to people and their arguments,

not taking them critically, is not going to expand your knowledge towards the true state of things.

More on the fiction topic, have you ever found an ultimate answer for all your problems?

Have you ever read a book that was able to solve anyone’s issues and helped everyone become a better person?

You probably didn’t, but you might be thinking that you actually arrived at the final solution after reading a novel that really influenced you as a person.

That’s the bliss of fiction, wishful thinking that everything, like the desire for you to become a girl, can be solved.

It’s accepting that, for the little that we learn about our true selves through life, there is an ultimate answer inside of a book.

Quite frankly, the example of you living a novel is rather fitting as the counter argument, isn’t it?

You wanted to save your mother, you wanted to become a fine lady like her,

you wanted an ending in which everyone would be saved and lead a peaceful life.

Alas, that pursuit of the perfect world ended up destroying everything.

That is to say, the facts were presented to you, since you read the novel, but you didn’t accept them.

You decided that, rather than accepting reality, you would believe in the prospect that stemmed from the bliss of fiction.

“Why wouldn’t I? A life in which my mother would have died is worse than death.” You state. “Why should I have accepted Beamortha’s death? Just because she was a villain? No, I wouldn’t want to live through my loved one's death again, and that’s what I did everything, even lie to myself.”

That is interesting, how you transferred the feeling from your previous mother onto Beamortha.

It’s almost like the novel was created especially for you to emphasize with.

Maybe you are forgetting something, that she wasn’t your biological mother, Emmi was.

Yet, the bonds you wanted to create with Beamortha were much stronger.

That is to say, when Harrivetta explained her idea of the family, you didn’t think of Emmi, right?

Perhaps if you accepted her as your true parent, instead of Beamortha, you wouldn’t have to lose your mother again?

That would be something to think about for later, because her death already happened.

Further, Harrivetta mentioned something else, about the roles in the family.

You would be happy if you were to become a mother yourself, wouldn’t you?

Yet, according to your tall blond friend those roles don’t matter as much as the bonds.

Perhaps if you understood that as well, you wouldn’t think of Beamortha as the only and beloved mother for you,

but as a person who is doing terrible things, that has to be stopped. Perhaps you would think of her critically…

“I still don’t know why the industrial revolution she wanted was wrong. Isn’t it that I already know of the prosperity of capitalism from my previous life?” You state. “Then I was sure what she was doing was right, and the peasants were the ones that couldn’t see the bigger picture I and my mother saw.”

When it comes to politics we must remember who was the class that lost the most during the revolution.

You could say that capitalism brings goods, that individuals are stronger, that workers can protect themselves,

that the world is open and relatively at peace, that everyone is free to pursue their dream.

But all those things relate only to the individuals, the units, not the society as a whole.

The peasants were never individuals, they never thought of themselves as single a single entity.

Instead, it was their bond to the soil, to the church and to the village that stated of them.

There were a part of something greater than goods, consumption, life fulfilment or even progress.

It is truly like the world for them stopped moving, and they enjoyed that position,

and whenever someone was attempting to disturb their peace, they would fight back for their soil.

It was truly a simple minded ideology, one that states of connection to nature, giving and taking.

To convince that it was wrong would take much effort, but I suppose your example says it can be done.

Alas, what is better, total freedom for yourself, or the freedom that stems from your duty in society?

A mind that is able to bend to everything, or a purpose in life that explains your existence?

This is also to say, you should answer those questions yourself, while being critical about your own opinions.

“So what of it? Perhaps it is fair to say both are fine.” You reply. “To truly say what is wrong, as the old man says, one would need to know of the true state of things. Then why not have the facts state in which reality people are happier?”

That would be possible if facts could explain everything about the true human nature.

Obviously they don’t speak of morality for example, they can’t tell of right or wrong.

Thus, when it is quite crucial to use facts, opinions do matter as well, like the ideas your friend has for example.

If you ask them what happiness means, you could imagine that they will give different answers,

hence it is rather difficult to have happiness as a metric you can compare two groups with.

However, it is important to mention that facts are hard to come by.

How much a single person has to learn in order to possess knowledge sufficient for them?

That they would be able to lead their life without worries of being lied to, or someone taking advantage of their lack of information?

It would probably require them to know everything, to be honest.

This pursuit of the ultimate knowledge for humans is quite absurd I suppose, but that’s what schools are for, right?

Yet, not everyone can become a scholar on all subjects, thus respected institutions are needed, ones that will guard the credibility of science.

They exist in case if a commercial paper misrepresents the facts, or someone uses an argument from authority, introducing himself as a scientist.

As credible universities know the facts more than anyone, they are the only ones to protect people from their imperfectness and ignorance.

“That is correct, the schools teach every student, but learning is an individual matter. If one could make a program that would work for everyone, then that would be preferable.” You voice. “But I suppose my experience was quite disappointing as I never learned any crucial knowledge, like what are facts or opinions. Only after college did I get it.”

Then perhaps there is something for you to learn from both the facts and the beauty of the language.

I would start with changing your nature, although there is not much you can do at this point of time.

Maybe in another life, when you wake in next to Minorta in a slightly different time but similar world,

when your red hair turns white, when your mind will become clear of the past…

Would you appreciate a life like that?