“The mercenary,” I say as a gun is pointed at my forehead.

“Yup, and I suggest you don’t leave the room.”

“You were watching? How voyeuristic.” Insolence vibrates in my every word. I know this might get me killed but at this point I can’t do anything. There is only so much Mia can do to defend me. I have to make a name for myself. Once I do that, I may be able to leave this place intact. I joined on a whim. There was no reason.

I curl my lips.

Still, with a gun pointed at my head, it might have been the wrong decision?

But I might be able to die now. Someone could just kill me with a single shot and I’d be gone.

“This is the Punisher,” he says as though he could read my thoughts.

“What gave it away?” I ask.

“Your lips curled in a soft smile.”

“Ah, that is an old habit that I should really kill.”

And then there is silence. Just two men and a gun between them. It reminds me of a similar situation, a situation with a victim and interrogator. I wait for him to ask questions but he remains silent. Most likely, he wants me to say something myself.

So I comment on his clothes, “I didn’t know terrorists could afford such nice clothes.”

“It’s best to kill in style, after all,” he laughs. “I know a few designers personally.”

“A mercenary and a fashion designer. What an amusing combination.”

“But enough chit chat.” His voice hardens. “I must ask you once more. Why were you leaving?”

“It was because I did not want to be with a liar anymore. He was pretending to get on my good side just so that he could persuade me to join this organization.”

“Why don’t you?” he asks with his brows raised. Of all the terrorists, the mercenary is probably the easiest to understand. No sorts of games with him. He reveals his expressions naturally and without pretense, though his thoughts may be in an entirely different place. “I would assume someone like you would jump at the opportunity. Yet the only response you’ve shown is rejection.” He stares at me contemplatively. “Even more so, why did you accept?”

“I accepted on a whim. Mia had caught my fancy.”

“You stupid bastard!” he chuckles. “Is that it? And here I was thinking along the lines of something more sinister.” More and more laughter but it quickly dissipates. “I hope I’m not wrong.”

“You won’t be.” I smile. “I have no business here anyways. Let the young decide for themselves what to do. I will support whatever decision Mia makes.” The smile becomes a frown. “But as for you, I cannot really say.”

“Is that a threat?” he growls.

“Mercenaries and soldiers never get along.” I shrug. “No, it’s not a threat. I’m not so stupid to threaten someone who can torture me at any moment.”

“Seeing you just did, I can’t really say that you aren’t.”

“Won’t Mia hate you if you did that though?”

“Why the hell would I care about Mia’s opinion?!”

“The 2nd-in-command supports me. She even said that she wanted me to be the new leader. Even among terrorists, there is a hierarchy, is there not.”

“Tch, you bastard.”

That bit information is stored. The mercenary defers to Mia. It reminds me that I never got to know his name, “Say, Mr. Mercenary, what’s your name?”

“Aurus,” he immediately replies.

“Doesn’t sound like a name,” I reply.

“It’s my personal codename. Nobody uses their real name here, Hero of Frost.”

“Ah, that reminds me. Why does Mia require someone like me? Surely, a high-profile figure isn’t very useful to an underground organization.”

“Hell if I know!” he retorts while putting his hands to his forehead. He shakes his head. “Nobody knows the hell what Mia is up to. She isn’t one to voice her opinions out loud.”

“Reminds me of someone.” Nostalgia suddenly fills me.

“Reminds me that you should go back inside,” the mercenary abruptly interrupts my reverie.

I look back to Noel. For some reason, he’s not interfering in the conversation. He glances at Aurus for a second and I automatically understand why. Generals scorn mercenaries. Most countries despise them. They’re like rats who scurry for any job. Militaries are more dignified and disciplined. Therefore, they’re better. A faulty line of thinking that perfectly suits the prideful general.

Aurus smiles when he sees me look back. “Yup, us two don’t get along. Now, hurry in before I lose my patience.”

I obey. This excursion was merely to extract any information. Nothing more than a distraction. Of course, Aurus probably knows that. He could just ignore me and force me inside and that was that. Even so, he talked to me.

That is interesting.

I keep note of that as I turn my back towards the entrance. Immediately, Aurus leaves.

Most likely, I’m being monitored. They’re keeping an eye on me. Well, obviously.

“Hero of Frost,” Noel calls out to me, his expression his usual affable smile. “Let’s return to the conversation we were having.”

Filth pours into my tongue and I keep silent. There were rumors, yes. Many were positive but some were negative. A career officer like himself would have more than a few enemies. Most rumors were apocryphal but there were a few that caught my attention. I try to remember them but Noel immediately distracts me.

“Hey!” He waves his hand in front of me.

I jump. “For fuck’s sake, don’t do that!”

“Oh my.” He’s surprised. “I didn’t expect you to jump like that.” He giggles like a child.

“You piece of shit.”

His childish demeanor disappears. “Well, either way, even if I’m shit, what does that make you?”

“You’re saying that if the officer is crap, his soldiers will be as well.”

“Bingo!” He raises his finger to show I’m correct. “Now, listen to your superior well.” A voice of authority suddenly booms. Despite his age, he still has the winds in his sails to shout that loud, just like those training sargeants. My mind falls into the past but he quickly pulls me away. “Now listen.”

“I’m listening,” I automatically say. His voice instantly draws me in. It appears I haven’t forgotten my military training.

“The reason I ask of you to join is very simple.”

“Why is that, Noel? You have everything you need. The government keeps you happy and the people love you. Why join this terrorist group? I didn’t expect a general as prideful as yourself to fall so low.”

I try provoking him again to get a response but he instead moves towards the back where the food is stored. This might be a chance to escape!

“I hope you’re not stupid enough to run just because your guard is away,” Noel says from the back.

Just kidding, I take a seat at a table instead. Running won’t get me very far. Someone would shoot me and I’d die. Death, huh. I make a plateau with my hands and rest my chin on it. Life is one shitshow from start to finish. The only reason I’m alive is because of fear of death. I could never kill myself. But if someone did it for me…

Heh.

My pride wouldn’t take it.

Two glass cups hit the table, making a chink sound as the ice cubes hit each other. Noel has returned. He sits in the chair gracefully, as if his back wouldn’t hurt just from bending his legs. Still as strong as ever. His muscles aren’t weak at all. They have strength in them, not atrophied with old age, though they’re pockmarked with scars and sunburns, the mark of a soldier.

I grab my cup and drink it, waiting for him to talk. He doesn’t touch his water at all. A gap begins to widen, a ravine of silence. A soldier and his superior. We both wait for each other to make our moves. Evidently, it should be the superior that goes first, to order the soldier, but that arrangement is a facade. We are not soldier and superior. We are betrayer and betrayed. In that case, I should talk first, but we could also be jailer and prisoner. Noel should talk first then. In any case, I could spin the situation any way I want but I don’t. This is a good time for me to close my eyes, to remember silver moonlight and dark memories.

“‘You are a liar, thief, and traitor.’”

He breaks the silence and I sputter water. “Where did you hear that?”

“From Yuda.”

“Hmm?” For a moment, I am intrigued but I quickly dismiss my curiosity. Revealing something I’ve noticed to my enemy would only hurt me. “Ah, the Glasseye’s apprentice.”

“Yes, him.” A grimace and mockery. “The bastard who kept hurting our own troops’ morale, I really despise him.”

“We are in agreement.”

“But. I have to say. No matter how much I hated him, he certainly played his cards to the very end.” The ice cubes chink as he raises the cup to his mouth. After a long gulp, he continues. “The Krauts gave him quite the position, I’ve heard. So when the war was finally coming to an end, he was in the best condition to flee the country. Where did he go again?”

I laugh. “That’s the real question, isn’t it. Nikolai is a tricky bastard, paranoid and easily frightened. That’s how he’s survived.” Revulsion fills my stomach as we talk about him. I feel suspended, as though I were falling into a never-ending pit. “That bastard is the real liar, thief, and traitor.”

“Indeed, but you are just the same to abandon your duties.” A direct challenge, fierce eyes, and royal ambition, Noel brings the full brunt of his authority against me. A towering golem.

“Why am I always faced with hardship,” I sigh.

“A soldier’s life is full of hardship.”

“A soldier’s life is full of nothing!” I shout. “That hardship, that pain, that unbearable agony! And for what?! A country that betrayed us, that stole everything from us, that swept us over. That was the reason why I knew you were lying about the death camps.” I make a knowing smile.

“Ah, and what was the reason?”

“Because if you visited them, you’d know they were better than the political ones.” I glare at him. This was a man who sought his own way at the expense of others. The appearance of a kindhearted figure is a lie. That was for the sake of appearance. “Of course, since you’ve never been to one, I wonder if you know even that.”

“Then what do you think I’m doing here?”

I sip my water. Icy chills freeze my head. Anger sublimates. It is a smoke without fire. Each word becomes deliberately slow. “You are here for power.” An insinuation. “Since you see your chance, you are seizing it for yourself. Glaskraut is the perfect scapegoat.”

“…No wonder you were leader of the Brumal Uprisings.” Astonishment colors his face.

“It was enough to get me arrested,” I chuckle before staring straight in his eye, “but ultimately any fool could guess that.”

Silence hangs itself in the air like a dead man's noose. The “that” that I am referring to is enough to take winds out of any sail.

It is a slow recovery. “Are you talking about my ambition. Or…” He shudders and lets the words trail away.

“The totalitarian who was ruthless enough to wipe out history itself,” I finish his sentence for him. “Yes, I’m talking about Lorelei.”

“That piece of shit!” he shouts as soon as he hears that name. “That bitch removed all of us from the 2nd Army. The high command was utterly devastated and she comes crawling back to me for help.”

“But you accepted her invitation.”

He makes a long sigh. “Yes, I did.” He mutters the words slowly as though he couldn’t believe them. “I returned to that Kraut.”

“A woman, too. A dangerous one, at that. I had the chance to meet her once.”

“Oh, and what was she like?”

“Charming, exquisitely charming. Even for a noblewoman, she was the epitome of grace and virtue.”

“We must have seen two different women. In the strategic hall, she screamed and cursed our incompetence. One time, she even took one of our generals outside, stripped him down, and whipped him in the snow.”

“But you obeyed.”

“I shouldn’t have.” He shakes his head. “But she managed to catch my fancy.”

“A little tryst, hmm?” I mock.

“You could call it that.”

“So you’re not denying it.”

“She was just like a witch. Lured me in and had me enchanted.”

At this, I chuckle deeply. “I thought you were the great Noel, the man so legendary that the most decisive battle in the war was named after him. But here you are played like a fool. Is it that easy to woe you? Do you not know shame? After she ejected you, you come running right back to here?”

The man takes one long drink of his water before answering. “I was young.”

“And foolish,” I snap back. “She fired you and then brings you back in? How could you accept such indignity at her hands? You couldn’t possibly fallen for her. I still can’t believe you!” I slam my bottle to the table. “It seems too ridiculous.”

“‘Love is blind,’ they say. But putting aside Lorelei for the moment, I could say the same to you.”

“Huh?”

“I talked to Mia for a bit. It appears that you’ve fallen for her, have you not?” He intensely stares at me, waiting for my reaction, but I give nothing away. “When I asked her about you, she smiled and said, ‘Oh him? I have him completely under my thumb.’ How does that make you feel? Being controlled by a woman.”

Words are superfluous; silence is golden.

“Your silence says it all.” He takes the bait. “So let me ask you, ‘Why did you fall for her?’ And I must also say that you cannot blame me for the wiles of women, can you not?” His smile twinkles. As a bachelor his whole life, it seems his explanation is credible. He fell for her and sworn to never give his heart to another.

My lips twitch at his question. It’s insulting but I manage to answer. “It seems us men are quite vulnerable.” I stare at my drink for a moment. The cup is nearly empty. Its transparency is what interests me. Empty and transparent, those are the only traits necessary for lying. “She reminded me of my dead wife.” I look up from the glass with an intense gaze. Nostalgia colors my face. I am not lying when it comes to my feelings. My wife was the most beautiful, most lovely rose that I ever saw. “Too bad she died so quickly.” But roses wither quickly.

“I must admit. I did not expect for you to confess it so quickly.”

“What is there to confess when you already know?” I chuckle.

“Indeed, shall I tell you the reason why I fell for that witch?”

“If you wish.”

“Ahaha, that is such a typical expression. I used it quite often myself. When my superiors gave me ridiculous orders, I simply obeyed with that simple statement. It’s short and to the point. There’s no gap in it to expose your true feelings. However, we are not superior and subordinate. Tell me the truth. Do you much care for this old wives’ tale?”

“I do not,” I bluntly state. “Things like love and loyalty are dead to me. Surely, you know that much. I am the Hero of Frost, after all.”

“Would you rather be called a traitor than a hero?”

“Yes,” I automatically reply. The words immediately came out. “At the very least, they could insult me properly.”

“Ah, but the Day of Noel was coming soon. It’d leave a bitter taste to remember a traitor. Hero has a nicer ring to it, don’t you think.”

Frivolous words. They were tongue-in-cheek in manner. There was a war going on. Something like the holidays was on nobody’s mind, not when invasion seemed to imminent. “I suppose so.” I keep those thoughts to myself. “Though it seems in bit them in the ass when I led those revolts.” I close my eyes and smile.

Fire burned the city in the dead of winter. For once, flames lit the unblinking night sky. The city had to marshal all its firefighters on that day. Riots broke out everywhere. The Parliament had to issue martial law.

“Are you remembering the day Valdok was taken?” The Colonel interrupts my reverie.

“It was a terrible day.”

“It was a wonderful day. Lorelei was finally killed.”

“Didn’t you say you loved her?”

The Colonel places one arm on the table. Despite his age, it isn’t atrophied at all. With a mocking smile, he says, “I did but that was when I was under her spell. Now, I am different and changed. I have wisdom and old age.” Self-mockery and wistfulness color his eyes. “Two things I needed in order to not fall to the wiles of women.”

“You two are both too old-fashioned.” Mia enters the room. “Nowadays, men are too indifferent to women.” Flashing a radiant smile that could make anyone fall for her, she reminisces. “All the guys at my college campus simply were too preoccupied with their studies. The few that did pay attention were a bit too carnivorous, though.”

We both glare at her. “This is a conversation amongst two men.”

She laughs. “Bonding already, I see.” In one deft manner, she picks up the plates, balancing them on her two arms. “Well, I just wanted to check and see how you two were dying.” Her nose wrinkles at the leftover stew. “But seriously, this dish smells too much.”

“It’s a dish with much history.”

“Don’t offend Mother’s stew.”

At the same time, the two of us agreed but Mia only chuckles some more. “I’m glad the two of you are getting along.” Enjoyment, however, quickly turns to frigidity. “Though the two of you have made more than your fair share of enemies.” The plates rattle as she moves away but her tirade isn’t over. She throws one more insult to our feet. “I’m not sure how long either of you will be able to survive.”

“You’re the broad who brought me here,” I shoot back but there’s no response. She already disappears into the backdoor where all the food and plates are stored. “Damn. She’s just like a hurricane. Making a mess of everything and then disappearing at the drop of a hat. My good mood is now ruined.”

“I heard that!” A shout comes from the backroom. Dishes clatter in the distance and I hear a running faucet.

I ignore her interruption and chuckle. “See how they like to get into other people’s conversations like that?”

“It’s best if you shut up,” the Colonel whispers softly.

Mia comes from the door. Her smiling face disappears and a black shadow rises from her body. “What did you say about me?”

“I said that you interfere too much but I apologize for that remark.” Without hesitation, I bow my head to her. I have no diplomatic immunity without her, after all.

She crosses her arms. “You’re lying.”

My lips twitch but I stay silent. Defending myself would only dig my hole deeper.

“Good grief, was he always like this?” she asks the Colonel.

“Always,” the Colonel sighs. “I remember meeting him once at a victory celebration. Slipped out of the officers’ hall and into the infantrymen’s one. At the back of the room he was drinking a beer alone. That aroused my attention. I went over to talk to him as the other soldiers gawked and stared. I asked him, ‘What is your opinion of me?’ He downs another bottle before answering. ‘Respectable.’”

“That’s just like him,” she laughs before turning to me. Her expression takes on a grimace. “But there was a time you weren’t, wasn’t there?” A mask of sorrow covers her grief. She must be remembering something tragic.

“Of course, there was.” I make a wry smile. “But the war cut me open and what could I do but patch the hole with bitterness.” A fact. “Horrible, right?” But a hard one.

“Heheh, I was lucky,” the Colonel says. “My father was a military man. Right from the start, he educated me on just how brutal the world actually is.”

“I didn’t know your father was part of the military.” The Colonel reveals a nugget of information. The more you know, the better prepared you are, so I inquire about it. “And how was he? We only ever talked about you but we barely knew your family.”

There is only silence. I stare at the man, prodding him to go on, but his head drops down to the table. Irregularity. I may have hit a goldmine. Or a landmine. I look to Mia to examine her reaction. Amusement colors her eyes but she presses her lips together. I struck an awkward place. What will the Colonel’s reaction be?

Seconds pass. They seem like eternity, probably because the Colonel may kill me for my little remark. I’ve seen men who offended guards over positively nothing and they shot them over it. My finger drums the table lightly.

“We don’t talk about my family,” he finally says when he raises his face. Finally, I see a man wizened by age. His strength and courage fades and the mirage is broken. What is revealed is an old man who saw some shit…

Though the same could be said of me.

“Well, this conversation was very fascinating, but now that lunch is finished, it’s time to get down to work,” Mia suddenly says. “Hero of Frost.” She spits the words more harshly than before. “Let’s go for a walk.”

Her face and words are dissonant. A sweet smile and a harsh command. Dissonance is a very dangerous thing. The medley of opposites often gives rise to something more deadly than the usual poison.

For instance, a guard will hate you, spit on you, and insult you, but, at the very least, you know he despises you. Consistency is safe and predictable. It is when they treat you well that you begin to worry. In almost every case, it was not for the sake of good will, but rather a death sentence. Their kindness was to lull the victim into a sense of safety before killing them. It was absolutely sadistic. The moment your benefact stands in the shooting line is the moment your sense of trust was irrevocably broken.

Opposites are deadly. Their illogic hide something sinister.

But I obey and nod my head.

“Good.” She smiles. “Damien, I believe Nikolai wanted to talk to you about something. Go visit him for once.”

I was rising from my seat until I hear her words. For a second, I stop moving but begin rising again. The Colonel and the Glasseye Spy. Two men who were on the opposites of the war. That is interesting. I make note of it and hope nobody notices.

The Colonel nods and waves his hands towards the entrance.

We leave the mess hall behind.

As soon as we pass one hall and turn to another one, Mia makes a sardonic smile. “I’m not sure if that was intentional or not.”

“What? The family thing?”

“He witnessed his family get shot.” Humor fades from her expression.

“What?”