Chapter Four

After the first day that I met Jessica, I went back to the base with a different feeling in my head. I felt that my mind was free from the insubstantial shackles they used to lock my brain. In evening, when everyone was taking a break after a week of heavy trainings, I went to ST300, the only person I trusted in my unit. He shared a bunk with me and we had known each other for more than six years. More important of all, he was also human, like me!

Before I even began talking, ST300 seemed to have already read my mind. “AN, I could hear your heartbeat was a bit abnormal today, are you okay?”

“I need to tell you something that nobody else shall ever know, can you promise not to tell anyone?”

“Yes, I promise. I would guard your secrets with my life.”

I told him everything. About how I snuck out of the base and met Jessica; about how we walked alongside each other and talked; about how my heart was opened up for the first time in my life. ST’s expression turned from surprise to shock then to grief. Just when I was about to tell him more about Jessica, he cut me off.

“ST are you okay?” surprised by his reaction, I asked.

ST dragged me into a corner and whispered to me, “You need to let her go, whoever she is, let her stay away from your life, that’s the only way you can protect her.”

I was so puzzled at that moment.

“Two years ago,” ST continued, “I was in a situation just like yours. I fell in love with Marilyn, a girl outside the base.”

“Love? What’s love?”

“It’s a feeling that is hard to be explained. You can see it as something illogical and non-sensible, but it consists of the power beyond anyone’s imagination. The Higher Officials, of course knows the power that love can bring, figured out about Marilyn. They abducted her and questioned me if I knew her.”

I could see where this story was going. “Then why didn’t you deny any knowledge of this? Why did you still put yourself into trouble even though you know they will kill her no matter what?”

“Love blinds you. You stop thinking straight after you are madly in love.”

Would Jessica bring such effects to me. Would she make my brain not working in the logical and efficient way it was meant to work like.

“So I walked into the room,” he continued. “I saw Marilyn, chained up onto the wall. She looked at me, eyes filled with grief, bewilderment, fear, terror, and desperation. She called my name weakly, and I couldn’t help but ran over. Again as I said, logic told me to pretend not to know her to save me from my trouble, but the emotional part of me couldn’t. I ran over and looked her into the eye, promised her that everything would be okay. This was the first promise ever broken in my life. The Higher Officials saw the scene and dragged me away from her but forced my sight to remain on her. One of them took out a saber and plunged it into her chest. The saber penetrated her skin, her pectorals, her ribcage, and finally, her heart. They forced me to watch as light was drained out of Marilyn’s eyes. They crushed the last bit of hope, the humanity, inside of me. They made me into the machine that would only obey them and kill one day for them.”

The next evening I was summoned by the Higher Officials.

ST was already there, when he saw me he ran over to me and hugged me before the men beside him could grab him.

“They read me AN! I mean they READ me. They knew, AN, they knew!” he whispered.