“Hey Sarah, how was the parent-boyfriend meeting?” Adriana decided today would be a good day to visit the archer at her house, ask questions she hadn’t thought to ask prior.

“Oh, swell surprisingly. Hey, weren’t you supposed to be doing something with Eric today?”

“Nah, he said he wanted to prove he could single-handedly capture a slime; they’re more common during spring, so now would be a good time to hunt for them.”

Setting his sights on the target, the cleric wiped his head reluctantly; there was no sweat, he simply felt obligated to fulfill the gesture. Relieved to have finally stumbled on this elusive beat, he watched the blue ball slink its away across the ground. He couldn’t tell if the thing had purpose or if it was wandering aimlessly, but it didn’t matter, soon it would be under his control.

“Controlling a slime? Why would you want to do that?”

“Well, they’re very versatile. They can slip through just about any surface.”

“Gotcha!” Eric had jumped the blue goo, but it oozed through his fingers, his elbows, and any other opening, reforming and running away as fast it could; unfortunately for the slime, having to spread itself into a long and skinny form, hunching its back up, and then pushing its head forward was rather methodical when its prey could simply walk faster.

“That would make it hard to capture though. I’ve never really fought or even seen a slime, what would use one for?”

“Well, they can stick to just about any surface.”

Getting up, the cleric brushed off the dirt on his coat before walking up to the slim. Squatting before the slime, he pounced! And missed, sending him flying into the dirt again, while the slimed jumped on to a nearby tree, making its way to safety.

“They’re good jumpers, but not very fast. They also don’t really have to worry about heights.”

Eric has tried to command a nearby creature, but there didn’t seem to be any around. Realizing there was no other way, he braced himself against the tree, making his way up as best he could. Before he could regret not learning how to climb trees, the slime jumped off, landing on the ground with a splat. Blue slime now covered a small section of the forest, but only briefly as the goo collected itself, reforming back into its original shape before scurrying away.

“That sounds neat. Are they dangerous?”

“Pfft, no!” The rogue laughed.

The cleric had ran for the slime, now burning rubber as he could barely keep track of it. In an instance, Eric put his breaks on, slamming his feet to the ground to stop himself so that he wouldn’t run over the parked slime. The courage and tenacity the cleric held prior was now gone, his prey realizing it could be the predator instead. Leaping on to him, the blue slime’s weight forced the teen on to the ground.

“They’re harmless. They couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Oh my goddess, help me! Somebody help!” Flailing his arms and body, the cleric made a desperate attempt to wiggle free of the monster’s body, but the slime had locked him in. Slowly but surely, the slime covered his arms, making its way to the boy’s face.

“I mean, they could potentially suffocate you if they covered your head.”

“If anyone is out there, tell my girlfriend I love her! I mean she already knows that, but tell her anyways!” The slime oozed over the clerics neck, now inching ever closer to his mouth and nostrils. Eric could only watch in horror as the slime was about to cut off his sources of oxygen; a humiliating death was imminent.

“But really, any one can throw them away. Even a toddler wouldn’t usually have trouble getting rid of a slime.”

“Aha!” The cleric arose from his death bed, pulling the slime up from the dirt. Like a scared kitten, the slime attempted to cling to the dirt, but its slimy tendrils were not much help in this department.

“I’ve got you right where I want you, ya little trouble maker.” Holding the slime out in front of him, he joyously watched the surface vibrate. Once his hands began glowing green, he dropped the slime to the ground, sat on it, and had it take him out of the woods.

“Huh, interesting. Aren’t slimes considered a delicacy?”

“Yeah, but they’re illegal to eat. Supposedly they make literally any food tastes better, and even eaten alone they taste amazing. People also say they are extremely healthy, like the healthiest food ever.”

‘Hmm’ the cleric looked down toward his riding animal, the creature making great pace back to Lumina, ‘I wonder…’. Looking at the blue slime, thoughts of eating it crossed his mind, but he shoved those thoughts to the darkest corner of his mind, where other random morbid thoughts were left to rot.

“Sarah, do you know what slimes are made of? Or where they come from?”

The elf shook her head, chills beginning to spread across her body.

“Again, this is only rumor, but after the great war, the one that involved the ancient city, slimes started popping up everywhere, and nobody knew why. It wasn’t until someone studied the battlefield that the reason became clear: they were the bodies of those killed by base mana users.”

Sarah gasped, her eyes opened wide like dinner plates, and she took a step back. “That can’t be true.”

“I mean,” the rogue scratched her head, “it’s only a rumor, and slimes can reproduce by spliting apart. But if you ever have a chance to eat a slime…don’t.”

The cleric could see the gate of Lumina approaching fast, his slime reaching speeds of Mach 1 by this point. Despite his best effort, this slime had no breaks, Eric simply bracing himself for the impact of his life. Speeding through a crowd of people, he managed to duck and dive around, make his way up the stairs, but just when he thought he was home-free, the slime began to fly.

For a moment, the cleric felt as though he were weightless, his heart pounding wildly as he was helplessly hurdled through the air as if he were launched from a catapult. In the next moment, he hit the ground hard, feeling as though his shoulder would pop off. The drag from the dirt had stopped his remaining inertia, his head swinging to see his mount had painted the ground.

“You alright honey?”

He smiled, a warm, familiar face greeting him with an outstretched arm.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Grabbing her hand and pulling himself up, he whistled to the slime. Collecting itself, the slime jumped into his arm, the cleric patting it on what he assumed was the head.

“Fun day? Hard day? Tell me how it went.”

“Oh it was fun, but I didn’t get hurt or anything. Capturing and taming a slime was pretty easy, didn’t give me any trouble at all, right blue?” Eyeing the slime, it wiggled in response. “Exactly. Let’s go home.”

“You know, one day we’re going to do something about these puns.”