《Must I Go Out to Survive This?》First Vol - Chapter 4 - Fatal Wound

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I'm Haruka. A high school girl at Tonmachi High School. I was one of the infected, but not yet turned into a zombie. I can last for a few more days, but not forever.

At that time, I moved as I wished. Just to save someone I've never even considered a friend. It was only for her sake that she eventually also died in the end. Somehow, it feels so pointless when I think about it. Why would I save her then? No, it's not important anymore.

Aruka, yes, I still remember her name. I saved her back then. However, I had to sacrifice my life for it. Slowly, all of this will come to an end. When I was bitten, the only thing I thought about was all my life, and Makise. My most precious friend.

If I hadn't been saved by Yamada back then, I would have become a part of those creatures. Being infected is not fun at all. Every night, no, every time I'm in the dark, it feels like my body is filled with sand. The very soft sand, and moves from hand to body. It hurts. It's scary.

The only thing I could do was pray and use the painkiller that Tanaka had given me. Several other drugs are also available, but do not have comparable effect to a painkiller. I'm not a medical expert, but I can feel it. A better feeling in every morning, but it couldn't be used to endure the pain at night.

I'm always in the room every night. Sometimes I feel better, but it's not for long. Nine o'clock at night, that's my limit now. Only Tanaka and Makise knew that at the moment. That's right, I don't want to make the others panic. I just want to enjoy my time, my last time. I was happy that Tanaka had saved Makise back then. I managed to keep my promise. My last promise.

"Makise, water!"

It's so embarrassing, but I had to. As long as I can speak, I will. Sounds spoiled, and disgusting. Damn, that hurts so bad.

"...Tanaka-sama, is there really no way to cure Haruka?"

"... For now there is still no information. Only painkillers and some kind of medicine can relieve the infection. But that doesn't remove the virus from inside the body... Haruka, starting tomorrow you don't have to work, just play or do anything else with Makise!"

"Ahhhh!"

I want to say no. I want to work, I want to be useful even for my last days. But why, it hurts so much.

I want to sleep. No, I want to sleep forever. Please, let me sleep. I don't want to die.

Tomorrow may be my last day. I've given up on all this pain. I can't control my body, while I feel the fucking pain. I want to go.

......

...

It's around seven in the morning. And I just came out of the room, facing the person named with Kanji and Rai who seemed to be carrying things out.

"Yo, good morning everyone!"

It turned out that there was also Yuki behind.

"Morning!"

"Good morning too!"

"Morning!"

"Why are so few that have been awake?"

That's right. Tanaka must be out doing things as usual. Makise must have overslept because she was with me all night and Okata must have been sleeping. Surprisingly I actually feel very fit this morning.

"I don't know. Okata and Makise haven't been up early lately. But it's very rare for Taki-sensei to oversleep!"

"Yeah, they must be doing it, just like Tanaka-sama and Taki-sensei!"

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Actually she's just tired because of me. But I can't say it. Sorry, Makise.

"Wait, they're not like that... Right?"

"Not if they're not dating. I mean, they've gotten too close and that's possible!"

"Ehhh, I didn't think they were that close!"

This is bad, what they say is not true. I have to stop it.

"Hey guys, we better stop this gossip talk and get on with our work!"

"That's right, I'm going to hydroponics... Hey, Haruka-chan, do you want to have a match against me? You look so glaring when you see me!"

"W-What! No, I'm busy right now. I don't have the time to play with you all the time, Yuki-chan!"

"Well, alright... But, somehow your body looks pale, Haruka. Maybe you need some more rest?"

"A-ah, no need. I'm healthy and somehow this morning my body is more fit than usual. Don't underestimate me, Yuki-chan!"

I haven't looked in the mirror in the room. I didn't realize that my skin was pale.

"Humu, don't get bitten by the zombies!"

And she left. For some reason, Yuki and I have become closer recently. I still remember the first time I met her. It is disaster.

It's still early, even though I'm late, but I still have work. Tanaka was always out in the truck and as usual, I would go around the base to check on the situation. But, before that, I'm going to the medical room.

Painkiller, I need it. Since I got it empty last night, this morning I haven't had a chance to drink it at all. My body doesn't feel any pain, but it's better to be on guard.

"Oh, Haruka-chan, welcome!"

"Oh, Taki-sensei. I thought you weren't awake yet!"

Damn, why should there be Taki-sensei. She was the person I wanted to avoid the most in the camp. It's not that he has a bad temper, it's just that she's always curious about what's behind my bandages. I don't like that.

"What's stopping you here? Do you want to get some check-ups?"

"No, I just need a painkiller!"

That's right, I just need to grab a bottle of painkiller and get out of here. I don't need to be here too long.

"Where does Haruka-chan really feel pain?"

"Erm, I just feel achy and sore in a few places. Can I have a bottle of painkiller?"

"Okay..."

Taki-sensei motioned for me to sit down and she went to the row of medicine bottles that I don't know what the types were called. I know which one is a painkiller though.

"... By the way, Haruka-chan! I may sound harsh, but lately the stock of painkillers has been decreasing for no apparent reason. Do you perhaps know what caused it?"

Oops, interrogation. It's true that I was the culprit behind the incident. But I can't say it openly.

"Ummmm, it's possible that Yuki-chan took it before do the work. I mean, she's been working hard lately right? She must have been tired and might have taken it when Taki-sensei wasn't inside!"

"Well, that is possible... Here's a pill for you. Take it with this!"

Huh, I was only given one pill. Usually I need three pills straight away.

"Taki-sensei, can I have two more?"

"Didn't you say you only hurt in some areas. If you take too much you will overdose and it won't be good for the body!"

Well, I guess that's right. I usually take a painkiller every night and when I feel pain in my hands. Maybe one pill was enough for this morning. I'm feeling better anyways.

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Since there was drinking water that Taki-sensei provided beside me, I immediately drank it. Yes, it does not feel anything special. I've gone to breakfast and I've taken medicine. Time for me to work and play.

"Eh?"

My body feels weak. Eh, why?

"Haruka!"

I fell? Wait, why does it suddenly feel so heavy. Am I going to die here? No, don't be in the same room as Taki-sensei. No, I don't want to die yet!

~~~

When Haruka fell, Taki immediately realized that the girl was hiding a fatal wound on her left arm. It was a bite wound, and obviously it wasn't from a human. It was blue and oozing fluid, a zombie bite.

Immediately, Taki lifted Haruka onto the bed to be treated. Somewhat furiously, Taki prepared to cut off Haruka's left hand, but it was stopped when she saw that the blue nerves had already spread to other parts of the body. The infection has spread and cutting hands is not the solution. The only problem that can be solved is about slowing down the infection period.

Taki, the woman in charge of the camp's health and medicine, was disappointed by this. The only person that came to mind for Taki was Tanaka, the one who brought Haruka out the most. Tanaka, which name was answered with a nod by Haruka before she fainted. The blame goes to Tanaka.

For Taki, a partner must be responsible for whatever happens to another partner. To Taki, Tanaka should have dared to speak up and say that Haruka was hurt at some point. To Taki, Tanaka shouldn't be hiding this. That's not the nature of a man or a leader, but somehow he does it. Taki at that time could only be engulfed by her anger and confusion. She tells Tanaka to come back soon and tell Yuki about this incident.

Taki didn't want to know anymore. The figure who for her was a savior had now briefly turned into a careless person. However, what Taki did was too hasty and unfortunately there was no one to stop her.

~~~

Tanaka, that guy. Damn it, did he know about this? Why didn't he tell me in the first place? That's right, Tanaka always acts suspicious. He always changes the topic whenever I talk about Haruka's left hand. He must be hiding it. It must be because of his carelessness.

"Damn it!"

How could such a nice man do something like this? Haruka is now unconscious and the only thing I know is that Tanaka must be held accountable. He'll be back in a minute and I've already told Yuki too. Either way, I have to make Tanaka admit his mistake. It would be childish if he tried to avoid it.

...

"So you knew this from the start and you hid it from us? Tanaka, what were you really thinking?"

Taki, she looks disappointed. Her eyes, scary. I remember this feeling. This is when I'm being humiliated, just only, this one hurts more.

"Are you keeping quiet? Well, to be honest, Tanaka, I have a lot of respect for you because you saved me. It's just that, could you not play around so much that it caused a situation like this. Honestly, I'm disappointed in you!"

It hurts. I can't answer it. Disappointment, huh.

Haha, yeah, that's right, I am really a disappointment. Whether it was then or now.

"Taki!"

Yuki, she must be disappointed too. I know she's holding it in.

"Tanaka, please go outside first. You can come back later. I'll try to calm them down first!"

I'm not wanted here. Well, that's right, I have to get out of here. Taki, she's still looking at me with a disappointed face. Yuki on the other hand, I think she's giving me a pitiful look. She was always that way, gentle when things were unknown.

"Then I'm leaving!"

~~~

Time flies. Tanaka left the base, headed to the mini market to get snacks and eat them on the bridge. Looking for fresh air on a sunny morning, but in a bad mood. As is well known, Tanaka was not the one involved in Haruka's left hand incident. He had only ever promised her. Promises made out of compulsion. Appointment on June 13th.

"Hey Haruka!"

"Humu!"

"I want to discuss something serious!"

"Well, you're always serious, so what?"

"About your left hand!"

"... Yeah, it really is infected!"

"Yeah, I've seen it too... Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no!"

"You... Are you okay with staying like this?"

"... Well, it can't be helped, isn't it! This is my destiny!"

"Have you told the others? I mean, to Makise or the others?"

"Not yet, I'm too scared!"

"What are you afraid of? Don't you know that you have little time?"

"Little time, huh, I don't know either. It's true that these are infecting my body, but they're still coming for a bit more of time... I think like that!"

"I see. Haruka, if only I had found the cure, I would have healed you immediately!"

"Humu, thank you, Tanaka-sama!"

Silent sky sends clouds. Similarly, a silent atmosphere for a few moments in which cigarette smoke alone moves.

"By the way, Tanaka-sama, will you promise me?"

"What's that?"

"Promise me to act normally when you look at my left hand. I've always watched it, you look at my hand with such compassion. Honestly, it's a bit annoying!"

"It can't be helped, I've always thought about that… Well, I probably will though. Also, I'll relieve you from work so that your body won't be burdened!"

"No... I don't want to be pitied like that. Let me work, let me work like the others. I don't want myself to be a burden, even to the end, even if it's my end, let me have fun with others!"

Eyes meet. Tanaka was cornered by Haruka's cold face. It wasn't a cold face from condescending or feeling pretty. It was a cold, resigned face.

"Okay, I understand!"

"No, please don't just understand it, Tanaka-sama. Please, promise me, never say it to anyone, never give a clue or anything to anyone and don't think anything about my hands. Let me be like the others, work, play and enjoy our time together. I'll work with you, no matter how hard it is. Just promise me!"

"... Ahhh, you're making it really hard. Well, I, Tanaka, promise you!"

"Yosh, good. Hehe, I actually wanted to play with Makise tonight. You know, she and I promised to spend time together and even stayed up late. But, as you know, I'm going to have aches every night!"

"Is that disturbing your sleep too?"

"Honestly yes. Every night I can't sleep well. I always feel it, all the time. They're gnawing at me. It's like ants. Yeah, it's just that I can't sleep every night!"

"Then sleep at noon. Let yourself rest and don't work!"

"No, take me to work, Tanaka-sama. You don't mind if I work with you? When I'm working, you can watch over me and when I'm tired, I'll sleep. Hehe, that sounds lazy huh!"

"No, that's actually a good idea. Then you have to come with me every time I work!"

"Yes, that's what I expected. I hope on our cooperate, Tanaka-sama!"

That's when I made a promise, I regretted it.

"No info on how to bring back zombies, huh?"

Right now, Tanaka was outside, getting a slight breeze in the morning, on the city bridge.

"Everything is useless!"

There is no information about a vaccine or anything related to how to cure a zombie infection. Tanaka was browsing on one of the satellite phone's default browsers. There are articles only about how to slow down the infection. No one has been able to cure the zombie infection yet.

"Ahhhh, damn it!"

~~~

Haruka, yes, she was a complete stranger to me, at first. But not for now. Compared to friends or colleagues, she looks more like my sister.

"How stupid of me to do that!"

I don't want to lose her. I should have just cut off that left hand then. No, she had also said that the infection was all over the body. It's useless even if I do.

I feel like I've been here before. That's right, this is when my parents died. I don't really remember at the time, but it was more or less like this. Stiff and annoying. Especially if I remember my promise to heal her, I'm really a bad person.

"That virus can't just go away. Wait, I'm immune to that virus right? If I transfer my blood to her..."

I have to find out. That's might be possible.

"... but can not!"

That's right. There's no way that blessed blood like mine can be donated and the person who gets it also has immunity like me. I'm so lucky to have this bless, but I also feel like want to giving it to Haruka instead.

"Aghhh, stupid Taki~"

The phone's voice rang. There's an incoming message... Ugh, from Taki.

[Tanaka-sama, I'm sorry about earlier. I was too hasty in judging. I've heard the story. I apologize profusely.]

So she already knows. Good, I might be able to go back.

"Ah, another new message!"

[Nii-chan, I'm fine. But since everyone knows, maybe I'll stop working. I'm really sorry for not telling Taki sooner. I made a misunderstanding situation. Also, nii-chan can relax. I've accepted it. Hehe, I'm in the habit of calling you this, am I really going to think of you as my brother. Thank you.]

I can't say. Damn, I failed to protect her.

"Damn those who created this virus or any of this bullshit!"

And Tanaka wept, for venting his failure and so of his frustration.

...

"Wait, so you mean we're going to be the first test subjects for that vaccine and drug?"

[Yes, to be more precise the second subject after us. Your contribution to our league is quite a lot, so I make sure that the yours Tonmachi North camp will get a share as well. There is nothing to worry about the safety. Our subjects who got it became quite resistant to zombie blood at a dose of five milli. We just need more subjects and it just so happens that your camp is in a region that hasn't been invaded massively by mutants. So, will your camp accept it?]

It's actually quite a good opportunity. Although I don't want to make my people as an experimental subjects, but there's no harm in trying.

"Okay, so how much and when will it arrive?"

[From our own league, we already received a hundred vials. We'll send about thirty to your camp and they'll probably arrive on June 27th. We'll deliver it via sonic jet. So, be prepared to take it if it doesn't hit the targeted area!]

"Okay, I got it!"

[Thanks, I'll be waiting for the next report!]

The connection was lost. And I'll get test-stage items.

"Ahhh, never thought I'd get something like this. Sending six blessed to get the vaccine, huh, what a bad deal!"

"So, Yakuna, what were you talking about earlier?"

"Vaccines and drugs. They say it's safe, but I'm not sure. We must be just being used as test subjects!"

"That's right, it's too soon for vaccines and such to be made. I'm skeptical about them!"

"Unfortunately we can't refuse either. We are fools for sending our six blessed ones to help them. To think that they were able to successfully make the blessed ones stay and make them leave our camp!"

"Well, they're still young people after all. We who are just frail old men don't know what adventures they're expecting. We can only sit here and wait for it all to pass!"

That's right, our goal as a Northern camp is simply to survive this zombie age and rebuild this city.

"By the way, can I make a broadcast regarding this?"

"Go ahead. It would be nice if there were survivors from outside who were interested in these things!"

"Good!"

……

This is great news.

"Master, is that really a tested vaccine?"

"Stop calling me 'master' you annoying one. Look around yourself!"

This is great news because the nearby North camp will have vaccines and drugs under development. I should try to contact them.

"Nee, master, I'm sorry about earlier. I know you're angry, but can you please be less harsh?"

"No, I'll be rude to you all day for calling me that nickname... Yuki, check if we have more than twenty sacks of rice in the warehouse!"

"Okay!"

"Tanaka-sama, can Haruka-chan really be cured?"

Makise, she is Haruka's best friend. She must be very happy to hear this. But, I can not give hope or certainty.

"Makise, maybe this is the way for Haruka to recover. So we can only hope and pray!"

"Humu!"

Everyone is now in one room. Yuki had just left and the other students looked like they were very grateful to hear what I said earlier. This is about the vaccine that was just rumored to be arriving in the North camp on June 27th. Three days from now, I have to keep Haruka afloat.

"Ah, it's connected!"

[Hello, is it connected?]

"Yes, I want to make a deal with the North camp on a vaccine deal!"

I discussed it. As a result of the negotiations, I could get a share of the vaccine as long as I was willing to exchange twenty sacks of staple foods for a bottle of vaccine and medicine. Luckily I had my own warehouse and there were already over twenty sacks in there. For the first time, I'll go there to book one of the packages.

I've arrived at the North camp with Taki and Yuki. Soon I met the old man who was both the shopkeeper and the person I had to meet for this deal. I already know him, so this should be easy.

"Thanks for coming, Tanaka-san. Well, I didn't expect you to come here and make an offer. So, here are twenty sacks of good quality rice. I'll make sure that you get one packet of this vaccine!"

"Can I ask you more about the vaccine?"

"Of course, what do you want to ask?"

"Has this been tested on other people?"

"Yes and most of them do have immunity from the virus in small doses. However, this trial is still being carried out on a small scale. Not very reliable, but I think it can be tried!"

That's good.

"Then, can I book more than one package?"

"Sure, but you have to go to our camp leader, Yakuna, for that. Do you really want to book more than one?"

"One more question. Has this vaccine ever been tested on people who are already infected?"

"... Tanaka-san, are any of your camp members infected?"

"Just like if there is a case. I wonder if there's anything to substantiate this vaccine proof!"

"There's no such a thing yet. But, from what I've heard, the other medicine can be used to relieve infection better than painkillers or any other medicine. It's been devoted to this infection!"

"I'm grateful!"

"So, do you really want to book more than one? If so, let me write you a letter so you can meet Yakuna tomorrow!"

"Yes, please!"

We exited the room and leaned against the truck while waiting for the rice sacks to finish unloading. And we got it. Now it's just a matter of time.

"Tanaka, I’m so grateful. Haruka-chan can recover!"

"Yes, we can heal Haruka!"

Yuki, even though she looks hostile towards Haruka, she is honestly friends with her. She had looked very happy when she heard that the medicine would relieve the infection. Likewise for Taki, but she looks gloomy now. Well, I guess I overdid in ignoring her.

"Taki, come here. I'm sorry if I overreacted!"

Wahh, she actually cried. I must have overdid it.

"... Thank you master!"

"Still, can't you stop calling me that!"

Time passed and all items had been removed from the inside. Since there were three of us, one had to get into the box, and that was Yuki. She was a little angry because she had to go into that stuffy place, but because I forced her, she then gave in. Previously, when I went here, I told Taki to guard the goods inside.

We returned to the camp and the atmosphere was not so bad like before. I told Haruka about what just happened. Taki and Makise went back to taking care of Haruka and I also got them the LED lights. For some reason the virus would infect more slowly if Haruka was exposed to a bright light.

Okata and Yuki returned to their work. Kanji and Rai are with me on guard tonight this time onwards. I will replace Haruka for all the work. After all, this was my job from the start, and I gave the task to Haruka because she insisted. But, unlike before, I was able to make her rest.

I hope this works.

The next day I returned to the North camp. This time I'm with Taki only. I gave a letter of recommendation to one of the guards and we were ushered into one of the houses where Yakuna was. He was the leader of the Northern camp.

"So you're offering thirty-five sacks in exchange for two extra vaccine packs?"

"Yes!"

And that Northern camp leader is negotiating with Taki. I haven't been able to enter into the conversation at all since they entered the realm of law. I thought that law doesn't apply anymore.

"Okay, I agree. By the way, I've never heard of the Fire Nebula camp. Are you guys is a small camp or what?"

Taki looked at me. That means she left the discussion to me this time.

"Well, actually we were just a lucky little camp. There were only eight of us... And one cat!"

"Haha, to be honest I'm interested in working with you. Wasn't that the last time you guys sent some cardboard boxes of near-expired food?"

"Yes, that's me!"

Wait, that doesn't leave a bad judgment on him right?

"Is your camp close to the food warehouse?"

Damn, straight to the tough question. If I answered yes, he would most likely force me to enter the camp. However, if I answered no, there would definitely be suspicions about this abundant food source. I can't mess with this blessed person, so better answer honestly with a little less of.

"Actually we're not close to a food warehouse. We're just lucky because one of the minimarkets around has a large enough stock of food. However, I've already bought everything into my place!"

Yes, it's true that there are minimarkets around that have food stocks. However, that's not to say that I got the rice from there.

"Hmmmm, to be honest our camp is going through a food crisis, so this helps a lot. Is it possible that the Fire Nebula camp would like to cooperate with us? Could it be that you guys need weapons or something else? We might be able to help!"

"Ahh, to be honest I need ammo. Is that even possible?"

"Of course!"

And I ended up agreeing to a bad deal. A truckload of food for only a thousand pistol bullets.

"Honestly, master, you are a fool when it comes to negotiating!"

"Shut up, I'm sorry!"

But, my main goal has been achieved. Vaccines and medicine for Haruka. Waiting for June 27th.

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