《Must I Go Out to Survive This?》Prologue - Tanaka
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A messy room.
Dirty-looking clothes lay on the floor. They were gathered, but still made the atmosphere in the dark room look slovenly.
The sound of typing and flicking of the mouse could be heard in the room. The origin is clear from someone playing on his laptop.
Someone who inhabits that room.
"Should I go out looking for work?"
Asked the occupant of the room in the heart. It was a question that arose from humans classified as hikikomori. People who choose to live in solitude.
His name is Tanaka Hijimori. A hikikomori who ran away from his job a few years ago.
Tanaka prefers to become a hikikomori because he feels disappointed with the life he has worked so hard to build. The life that the people at the company make difficult.
She was scapegoated, ostracized and treated as she pleased. It was Tanaka's daily life while working at a company which would accept him. Tanaka who just graduated from a university who is not very well looked after.
The sound of a very fast keyboard typing can still be heard in the room. In front of the dimly lit laptop, there was a man in his twenties without blinking his eyes on the screen.
Tanaka is now trying to find a way to make money. At this time, he was experiencing financial problems.
The man who chose the hikikomori path was constantly looking for information on how to earn money. Without money, he would certainly be expelled from a boarding room that has cheap rents in the area.
"Damn, the development of the times is really scary!"
Tanaka laments that he has not developed any abilities for hikikomori. just appreciate the time to entertain yourself by reading stories and playing pirated games.
It occurred to him briefly that he could sell information or stories as he used to when he was in school. However, Tanaka wasn't sure of the selling point of such a thing.
In such a very difficult situation, Tanaka only thought of several ways to make money quickly. Most of them require hard work and a clear identity. Some are more akin to illegal jobs on the internet.
However, there was one way that Tanaka could take. That is by taking petitions on a large website created for capable artists who choose an anonymous identity or artists who do not have a large fan base.
How to get the money is quite easy. There are commissioners and there are artists who compete to take the mission prizes. Competing artists will submit results to the commissioner's timeline. With watermark protection, artists don't have to be afraid of having their work stolen by others.
Tanaka tried this extreme method. However, he still has a license for 3d object creation software on laptops.
The ability to create complex 3d objects requires at least months of practice. Tanaka has gone through this during his college days. Soft skills which have no value at all in the company that Tanaka previously occupied.
Tanaka then tried to take one of the petitions or online competitions. Tanaka thought he had some memory of using the app so things like creating an object weren't too difficult.
However, Tanaka's expectations were wrong. Even though he used to be able to make objects quickly, now he's having a time where he has to guess what's right.
This is what happens if an opportunity is left alone without a routine.
Tanaka chose a petition about the background of a garden. The reason why the theme was chosen was because he felt quite familiar with the anatomy of flowers and several other plants.
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It's been about half a day since Tanaka has been working on the contest project, now he's done and trying to evaluate. For him, the work he made was quite good even though the shape was still a bit cuboid.
For him, to get a prize money of around 1,000, the work he made was quite appropriate.
Tanaka uploads his work to a timeline that can only be accessed by the commissioner.
While waiting for a decision, the hikikomori who had not eaten for three days brewed a cup of noodles. Tanaka felt a heavy feeling of hunger due to the hard work he had put in for the past few hours.
The only food available in Tanaka's room is cup noodles. The number of noodles that this man has is also unfortunately very small. Only about four cups of noodles were left for him to survive.
The noodles were already brewed, and Tanaka returned to his iron chair. Face to face with a laptop that is still opening the contest website.
"Your design is not approved"
Or so the sentence was told on the laptop screen. Tanaka stopped his chopsticks for a moment in surprise.
"So, this is my fate now?"
Tanaka complained about his fate. Tanaka realized that his ability to do something in this field was still very limited.
He wants to train further so that he can have his own income. However, what power does Tanaka have? He did not have enough food to do activities such as training.
Tanaka's body requires a lot of energy when experiencing the process of learning or sharpening the brain. Those were facts and things that Tanaka himself already knew.
Due to the dilemma, Tanaka becomes even more stressed. The pressure from Tanaka's heavy thoughts led him to a conclusion.
"I need refreshment!"
That's what he thought.
Chair back a little. A container of cup noodles flew into a garbage container surrounded by a plastic bag. Plastic bags filled with trash.
Tanaka decided to go out for a while. He took the clothes he usually wears when he goes out.
......
...
Feel hot. The sun is the source of light that day.
The late spring sun on the day Tanaka came out was bright and scorching. This is honestly not something that is good for any particular person.
It was Tanaka, a hikikomori who always locked himself in a dark room for days.
For people accustomed to darkness, suddenly being in the middle of a place filled with light and heat certainly took Tanaka's body by surprise.
Wavy. That was what Tanaka saw right now. Everything Tanaka saw was undulating. As a result, Tanaka chose to just sit on a park bench without doing any exercise as he had originally planned.
The only thing that felt good to Tanaka when he went out during the day was the heat that enveloped his entire body. When he was in the boarding room, the only source of heat that could be obtained was from the side of the laptop fan. Very minimal and unsatisfactory heat source.
T-shirt and shorts. That was the costume that Tanaka was wearing right now.
One person passed in front of Tanaka.
A man in a perfect jogging costume passed by giving Tanaka a strange glance. Tanaka himself also felt that way.
Two people passed by Tanaka.
Two girls who were around the age of eighteen passed by whispering something to each other while glancing at Tanaka. Tanaka realized that.
"Why is it so crowded today?"
asked a confused Tanaka. It should be a hot day like this is the most avoided time for people to get out of the house. That's what Tanaka thought.
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However, his prediction turned out to be wrong. The day that Tanaka goes out is Sunday and people try to enjoy the last weeks of spring all day long.
Tanaka checked his old cellphone, he realized the day he came out of the room. It was a very inappropriate choice for a hikikomori like him.
"Hey look at that, there's a strange person wearing a horrible mask!"
A woman says something from a distance. The voice reached the ears of Tanaka who was sitting on the bench. The voice that came from behind Tanaka's position.
A strange mask and a strange person. Tanaka looked around. No one seemed to be wearing a mask except himself.
Yes, the person the woman was referring to turned out to be Tanaka.
"Should I call the police?"
Tanaka rose from his seat. He tried to stay away from the woman who looked like a curmudgeon. After all, a hikikomori is very weak when it comes to officers.
Tanaka moved to a park bench which seemed quieter than the previous bench facing the pond. The reason why the place is quieter is because the surrounding scenery is not as beautiful as the previous place.
However, such a place was exactly what Tanaka needed. A quiet place where people rarely pass by.
The chirping of birds coming from a nest in a tree becomes the surrounding rhythm. Tanaka is silent.
The sound of the engine starter of a passing car not far from the park bench is sometimes heard. Tanaka is silent.
The shadows of the clouds moving slowly gave the city's surface an irregular pattern. Tanaka is silent.
"Ahhh, this is a good feeling,"
said Tanaka from his mouth which was covered by the Plague Doctor's mask. It was a mask that a hikikomori man bought while shopping at an online store. The mask that was being given a sixty percent discount at the time.
Tanaka had been sitting on a park bench for several hours. He bathed in sweat thanks to direct sunlight exposure to his skin.
For hikikomori like Tanaka, sweating is already a very healthy form of exercise. This is something that people in darkness rarely feel.
"I should have done this often!"
Tanaka thought considering his health.
It was almost evening time. Tanaka checked his cell phone screen and saw that the time section read 02:41 PM.
It was Tanaka's time to return. Since he went on foot, it took him some time to get to where he lived.
Tanaka got up from the bench he was sitting on. The place that was once bustling is now getting busier. This added to Tanaka's motivation to leave from there.
Despite wanting to return soon, Tanaka himself was feeling the after effects of sweating profusely.
Thirst.
The middle-aged man's throat felt dry. The feeling made him very uncomfortable.
"Just go to the supermarket first!"
Tanaka headed to the nearest supermarket. It was no more than a hundred meters from the actual location of the park.
Supermarket, it is a place where there are many kinds of goods sold in it. A suitable place for people to come to buy necessities.
Such places are usually very crowded. This is no exception for the supermarket near the park that Tanaka goes to.
There were two men who bought cigarettes and coffee. There was one girl who looked like she was arguing with the cashier. There are also mothers who are just looking for cute things with their children.
There's also Tanaka. He was choosing a more profitable drink.
"Should I choose brand A which has more content or brand B which has more quality but is expensive?"
Tanaka asked in his heart.
A small child passed behind Tanaka. A child who is always curious about new things.
"Mama, mama look, there is a strange uncle wearing a strange mask!"
Said the little boy without knowing the consequences of what happened next.
"Hush, don't look!"
His mother said, looking worried. After all, adults always feel like strangers to each other.
"But ma-"
Said the child who was cut off by his mother.
“-Come on!”
The mother pulled her son away from Tanaka. Tanaka realized that and heard all the conversations between mother and son behind him.
Tanaka, who was a high-level apathetic person, just let it go. He just often thought that the social order in this world was funny enough that different people would be called 'weird' to them.
"What a strange thing,"
Tanaka subconsciously thought of that as a trade-off for the conditions described earlier.
Thanks to that, Tanaka decided to choose brand A which was cheaper.
Tanaka went to the cashier, the girl who had been arguing with the cashier then left angrily.
The cashier however looked at Tanaka strangely. Who would want to wear a stuffy mask like that on a hot day. Especially from the looks of it, that person was obviously sweating profusely. Think cashier who still tries to serve professionally.
"The goods, please. Thank you!"
The cashier spoke to Tanaka. However, there was one sentence that the cashier didn't say when usually it was the part he was most excited to say.
The words 'please visit again' did not sound in Tanaka's ears at all.
"After all, who wants to serve a weirdo in a weird costume?"
thought Tanaka in response to that.
The man who had just bought a cheap bottle of mineral water left the supermarket. Lots of cars parked in front of the place.
Around the car, there were quite a lot of people doing activities. There are those who put things in the car, some are just hanging out and some are confused because their clothes are stuck in the car door while their car keys fall.
"Ah damn, it's very crowded. For the sake of public safety and order, I will enter the narrow alley across the street from the supermarket earlier!"
Tanaka decided to find a quiet place. With his unique thinking, he tries to act as if he is someone who seems 'should be shunned' by society.
It was a dirty and somewhat smelly place thanks to the trash cans lined up behind each building. However, for Tanaka it wasn't a problem as long as the place was quiet. An alley.
Tanaka drank the mineral water that had just been taken from the refrigerator. Cold, or so the average person responds to the temperature contained in the droplets of each drop of water.
"Pwaahhhh!"
Tanaka said relieved after drinking the cold water.
Tanaka's throat, which had been very dry, was now wet with the bottled mineral water he had drunk earlier. Even though it felt a little fiber for a moment to Tanaka, as soon as the water reached his stomach, his body felt a very intense sensation.
After sweating a lot, of course replenishing body fluids is very important. This was a pleasure in itself for the hikikomori Tanaka who had not felt such a sensation for a long time.
Vision is getting clearer. It was the feeling after Tanaka had tried to absorb the freshness of the mineral water.
Or maybe it was because of his Plague Doctor mask that he took off.
Tanaka looked around to check what it was like to see clearly again. Previously, he had seen things quite bumpy and a bit blurry.
Something is moving. That was what Tanaka realized.
Tanaka looked and cleared his vision in the direction of the deeper alley. There were three people walking further inside.
After being identified by Tanaka, he realized that the person in the middle was an acquaintance of his. His name is Haruki.
The other two people flanking him were most likely thugs or unkind people around. Tanaka followed the three of them.
Haruki is Tanaka's acquaintance when he worked at the company. However, this acquaintance was not a good person, he was one of the people who abused Tanaka in the past.
Tanaka clearly remembers that Haruki is not a good person and actually associates with the person he hates the most, Sasaki Fujiwara. To her, she was a bottom-tier prostitute that didn't even deserve to be called a whore anymore. For him, it was worse.
The reason why Tanaka was following Haruki was out of curiosity. Just curious.
However, based on Tanaka's memories, Haruki had become completely different.
He used to be the one who always wore the best clothes or even the branded ones. However, Haruki had now become more or less like Tanaka. T-shirt with shorts.
Moments later the four of them stopped. Tanaka, who kept his distance, hid behind one of the large green trash cans.
Unsurprisingly, Haruki was beaten by the two people who brought him. Tanaka had predicted something like this.
“Please… please… but I really don't have any money when- kugh!”
Haruki tries to beg for mercy to the two people who beat him. Actually, Tanaka himself was quite sorry for Haruki's current condition. However, Tanaka was also not the type of person who would come to save someone without knowing what the problem was.
“What if you don't have money, I told you not when you meet us again you owe 20,000 at that time. If you have a debt, you obviously have to pay it!”
Tanaka didn't understand what he was saying. The words spoken by one of the thinner thugs sounded very ambiguous to him.
After all, the thug's point was that Haruki had to pay off the debt they had lent him once. Although the initial amount was only around 5,000 and now it has suddenly quadrupled.
“But I really don't have any money -kuhk. No one even wants me to work around here!”
“You think I care about that huh! If you don't have money or a job, can't you steal with your hands? Oh, I see. You don't use your hands anymore, huh? Then is it alright for us to ruin it!?”
“Wait boss, wai—agghhhhh!”
Tanaka clearly saw that the fingers on Haruki's hand were crushed like someone smashed a toy. The sound of a snap could even be heard in Tanaka's ears.
A feeling of pity rose within Tanaka. Even though he hated Haruki so much, he was still human and such treatment was still outrageous.
“You, if I see you again and you don't bring the money. Don't think you can walk again. Let's go, bro!"
The two goons leave the scene. Haruki there groaned in pain indicated by his rolling motion.
Tanaka, who had been observing since then, wanted to try to help Haruki since the two thugs had already left. However, that stopped Tanaka's intentions for a moment when Haruki said something.
“Damn… damn… That damn Hideyoshi!”
"Why me?"
Tanaka answered without saying anything.
“Damn it, if he hadn't run away and left the company I wouldn't be here right now. The project I had been preparing all this time was ruined because of him…”
Even in his illness, Haruki still managed to curse Hideyoshi. Tanaka's first name which he got when he was in an orphanage. Or maybe the name his parents had given him from the start. It wasn't clear in Tanaka's memory.
"Forget it,"
Tanaka resisted his urge to help the poor man, Haruki. After he thought about it again, from the start he was just paying too much attention to things that were none of his business.
That's right. Tanaka is no longer an employee at the company and has no relationship with Haruki other than only in terms of 'being acquainted'.
The hikikomori moved away from the place where Haruki was rolling around. Feeling quite relieved, Tanaka sighed.
"Fyuuhhh, let's go home!"
Tanaka headed to his residence which was six kilometers from his current position. A place called a boarding house by local residents.
It took some time for Tanaka to get to that place. Nothing happened, just the streets were a little busier than at night where Tanaka used to go out to buy food.
The man who owned the room was opening the door. The rooms are quite spacious with a very cheap rental price.
The man entered, moving from a world of light into a space which was like a nest of darkness.
The first step in, Tanaka hadn't noticed.
The second step, Tanaka started to feel it.
The third step, Tanaka's body reacted.
The sudden feeling of dizziness broke the hikikomori's senses. It was the difference in temperature, light and humidity of the outside world with Tanaka's room that caused this to happen.
Nausea predominates. Tanaka's brain ordered all limbs to find the right place.
Immediately Tanaka took off his plague doctor mask and faced the sink.
Tanaka took out the food he had eaten earlier. Yes, he only ate a cup of noodles, while Tanaka's body needed a lot of energy.
"Ughhh, just go back to sleep!"
The hikikomori who felt an unpleasant sensation all over his body chose to rest. Leaving the room still messy with a very unsupportive atmosphere for sick people.
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