《An Extra-Ordinary Story about Ordinary People》C, A Pleasant Conversation with an Arm
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It didn't take long for them to arrive. It never does, since it's almost always an emergency of sorts. Arm looked surprisingly erratic. "Hey hey hey, calm it buddy. We're not gonna hurt ya," I told him as calmly as I could. He still stared at me. Suspiciously. "What? Alright, like this, I'm gonna pick you up, and you're gonna take the chance to communicate with me through writing, as I know you can. That alright with you?" I asked, to which he waved his hand, as if nodding.
I grabbed him by the triceps and sqatted down on the ground beside where the wrote his previous message. It felt uncomfortable, sitting on top of some entitiy that could probably spear me to hell and back. He struggeled a bit, trying to find a comfortable position, before going limp, his pointed finger lightly touching the ground.
He made a few quick strokes, his wrist doing the heavy work.
In no time, a little smiliey smiled back at the two of us. 'Hehe,' he wrote beside it. "Are you done yet?" I asked, to which he flinched. '!! Yes' he quickly wrote. This is going to be wierd. "Now, do you have anything specific to ask?" 'Yes, uh, who a' "Who a?" He tugged a bit. Oh. I moved him a bit to the right, and he continued writing.
're you?'
"I am Smith."
'Smith who?'
"Oh, sorry, it was stupid to presume. John Smith. My parents used to call me Johnny."
'That doesnt help'
"You're gonna sacrifice your grammar for a statement?"
'Sorry, I meant "who are you" as in a mor'
I moved him a bit.
'e "introduce yourself", way.'
"Oh, well, I believe I said so earlier, but thats classified information."
'How can your entire person be classified information?'
"I'm a high-standing person in a secret organization, I'll tell you that much."
'whoa'
"grammar, please."
'Sorry, I was just amazed by the fact that anybody could claim to be in a secret organization in this day and age.'
"This day and age?"
'Yeah, you know, the two-thousa'
"...I don't think there's any need to move you, what's the matter?"
He moved his hand downwards a bit.
'what year is it'
"I'll ignore your habit of simplifying your language and answer your question, as you seem quite confused. It's 2018."
'2018? Really??'
"Yes, really. What, don't believe me?"
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'But it's so futuristic!'
"What is?"
He didn't write anything for a few seconds.
'Your attitude, first of all!'
"My attitude? What's wrong with it?"
'Nothing, it's just - you're way too calm!'
"Well, of course I'm calmed. I'm rather used to dabbeling in things like this. It's my job, first of all."
'Yeah, but... look, I don't know much, but I do know that people aren't usually used to, you know, meeting a living arm. Or whatever I am.'
"Well, whatever you are doesn't really matter. What really matters is that you are sentiant, and a rather pleasant fellow all-around. But whatever you remember, it can't be reality. Creatures similar to yourself have been appearing for over fifty years now. The only ones i can imagine freaking out over you would be, well, the common folk. Normal people."
'You're not a normal person, then?'
"...you got me there. No, I wouldn't consider myself a normal person."
'What would you consider yourself as, then?'
"Well, if you'll forgive me for using language from the Golden Era, I would consider myself to be a would-be superhero."
'...'
I turned him over and looked him in the eye. He looked very suspicious. He's a very suspicious fella, isn't he?
"What is it now?"
I turned him back around.
'Superheores aren't real.'
I couldn't keep myself from laughing loudly. I haven't laughed that good in years, I think.
'what'
"Grammar."
'What would make you laugh so? Superheroes is a comic-thing. And look at you! You're wearing a nice suit with a nice tie and a nice shirt, how could you ever consider yourself a superhero???'
"I didn't say I was one. I could have been one. Maybe during the 70's or something."
'That cant be.'
"Well, it is. Was. It used to be. Acting as a superhero would then is enough to put you in a certain chamber in the basement of a certain secret organization. If you're lucky, and you get discovered before then, you have the chance to join said secret organization to, you know, work with them. Whatever."
'What do you mean by whatever??? How cant you speak about such things so casually???'
"I'd appreciate if you didn't exaggerate so much, but really. It's whatever. It doesn't matter. You're not a human, after all. No family you take you from, no society from whence you dissappear. Now, calm down for a second and let me explain what's going to happen. A chopper is going to come, bringing my pal George and some more official men. Soldiers. SNS, as they are formally called. They won't hurt you, kill you, or anything of the like. They will simply transport you to one of our bases. It's a simple procedure, really."
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He stared at the ground in defeated silence. I turned him back around and stared him in the eye. He averted his gaze.
"Hey, don't be like that. I don't mean to frighten you or anything, if that's how I came across," I told him as calmly as I could. He still looked somewhat dissatisfied. One of his fingers pointed at the ground and I let him down. Some of the previously described roots grabbed hold of him. Two things happened following this.
First, and eyelid appeared on the back of his hand. It must be a strange thing to realize, but in there, he did actually have an eyeball. Isn't too strange to think that he could have an eyelid on the other side as well. The eyelid forced itself to open, and the eyeball rolled over, looking back at me. It looked kind of as if it was mocking me, but making hasty decitions is one of those newbie things I seldom do nowadays.
Secondly, I heard a voice. I had been so enamored in what was happening to his hand that I didn't realize a mouth had formed on the stump where the arm would have connected to a body. Guess his chances of becoming a whole human are over, huh. The voice said:
"Urgh"
"Nice to meet you too," I replied courtly. "Diss iss wirdd," it said. "I agree," I replied. "Wajtt lemme git ushed tjo itt," it blubbered as well as it could using the strange mouth-like thing. The next couple of minutes were spent by the mouth doing vocal excersices, singing songs I've never heard before, and making sounds I dont know well how to describe. At some point, it sang a tune i recognized as Catmans iconic tune, but when I asked it about it, it went on a rant about how I never told him anything. Ungratefull slob.
"So? Are you done yet?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm, uh, done. Thank you."
"For what?"
"Well, you know, uh, not leaving?"
"Leaving an unauthorized SNC alone would be a violation of my responsibilities. Especially of my ethics."
"SNC, SNC, can you call me something else?"
"I call you Arm, don't I?"
"Yeah, sure, and that's very nice of you, but could I atleast have a name?"
"Sure. What should I call you then, Mister Arm?"
"Uh"
"You don't know, do you?"
"I know my name, shaddap!"
"Right."
"Ummm... something about... I don't know, Ron? No... Robert?..."
"Arm?"
"Shut it! Just... just call me... oh!"
"What is it?"
"I've got it!"
"Got what?"
"Are you deaf or something? My name!"
"Right. What is it, then?"
"It's... Aaron."
"Uhuh. That's a pretty normal name. Can I call you Arm for short?"
"No, I'd rather you didn't!"
"Sure, I wont. Arm."
I laughed maniacally. God, this was a good idea. I haven't had this much fun in yea-,
Suddently, I noticed something. All around my sitting form, small, white roots had sprouted in a half-circle.
"You are in my realm now, Smith..."
"Oh no, what a predicament I have found myself in! How can I ever escape?"
"You must answer my riddles three..."
"I bet my life that you don't know tree riddles."
"Sure I do! There's that one with the baby, man and elder, and then theres..."
"See? I won this battle, foul creature of the under-world!"
"You win this round, air-breather!"
Fwopp fwopp fwopp, I could easily hear the blades of the chopper, even before they were visable.
"It seems theyve arrived," I said, rising from my crouched position. "Exuse me," I said, grabbing Ar-, Aaron once more. "Is there any specific way you'd like to be carried, master of the under-world?" I asked politly. "I'd love to be able to see and talk at the same time, so if it isn't too wierd, could you carry me around your neck? Like, elbow by neck, hand on one side, mouth on other?" he asked timidly. I don't see why not. "Sure, don't bother me at all," I replied, carefully placing him around my neck like a scarf. I wasn't sure whether the proper description would be as if you were in a permanant state of having your picture taking with a gang of enthustiactic friends, or as if you were in bed with a beloved, but standing. Considering the context, I think I prefer the former.
This was, I can actually carry him without actually holding him.
Neat!
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