Over the next two weeks the worry and uncertainty for what was going to come faded into the background as she spent those days practicing. She spent her time, not with the bow, nor practicing making traps, not even practicing preparation, or starting fires. No, She wasted no time on any skill she would use in the trial, instead she spent her time using her shade to lift stones.

The whole situation struck Amanda in two ways. On one hand she was eager to leave the village again, to continue learning to be a magus. Her practice had found its own results, it would be far simpler than it was at home, and she was eager to make progress and to finally learn what had for so long been denied her.

On the other hand, she was scared of what it meant to leave home, to be unable to rely on her father anymore. To meet new people, to explore the world was something she had dreamed of since she had last left their tiny little village. But years had changed her, could she still do that?

In the end the day of the trial came heedless to her inner debate and concerns. Uncaring for the growing divide in her heart and mind.

Amanda gathered outside the village with three young men and one young woman like herself, who were all starting to shoot up like weeds. Amanda was over a foot shorter than one of the boys in the line around her, she was pretty sure she was a year younger, but she didn’t honestly know and had long stopped being on friendly terms with them. She didn’t even think she could pair their names with their faces. The strange thing is that after so much time, it had simply become the way things were. That was to say, she knew she had been angry when she was younger about what happened. But she had long since stopped feeling that way, yet here they were.

Ahead of them stood Joan, as always with more hair on his face than skin showing. He had been their teacher for hunting and tracking. As this trial relied mostly on what Joan himself had taught, he was the one in charge of administering it.

It wasn’t common for anyone in the village to stray too far into the woods, or to go deep into them. But it was expressly forbidden for children to do so. Amanda perhaps had been the one exception for that, having made the trip to and from their home an hour walk out of the village so many times that she couldn’t even count them. Still in a sense their home had been part of the village since she and her father had lived here. Of course these days she had the stamina to make the journey in half the time, as she usually did. So it didn’t feel so far apparent anymore.

Child or adult the deep woods could be quite dangerous, after all beasts lurked out there. When need called for them to go deeper into the woods they would gather most of the men from the village to go with them. The hope was that their numbers would scare off what was lurking in the shadows, ideally no one would need to actually fight the beasts.

They had learned earlier that most towns that had been around for more than a year or two didn’t usually have to worry about beasts, since natural instincts of creatures that lived in the woods avoided people in general. But there were risks, and then there was just being stupid. Beasts were not that common in truth, and only troubled caravans so readily because of the ground the caravans covered.

For today's trial even Amanda’s dad had gone with the others to range a bit further into the woods to ensure that there was nothing that might cause issues, surveying the area to ensure it was reasonably safe. Even though that meant scaring off some of the potential game in the area, it was the simple truth that it was just safer this way.

The group undergoing the trial were eager to prove themselves and most of them were clearly a bit nervous about having to do so. Amanda didn’t have the same nervous energy herself, rather it was closer to a boiling pot. Afterall she had something in mind that she couldn’t wait to put into motion.

Joan had just finished laying out the rules, which was already well established, the basic outline was simple, they had to catch food, and prepare it. The trial was supposed to prove that they could hunt and prepare game. This could be done using traps, or bows. There weren't really any rules besides that you had to catch the game, and prepare it yourself.

The lack of overall direction, was specifically why a wonderful idea had blossomed inside of Amanda. As far as she knew it was perfect, she wanted to prove her efforts, to show off what she had learned. Now that she had the proper place to do so, she couldn’t help but itch to get started.

As soon as Joan announced that they were free to go the students gathered themselves up and headed into the trees, all besides Amanda. She instead made her way in that direction, but made most of her attention to what lay below her, taking her time. Her aura sight had been steadily growing stronger, and was now considerably larger then it had been when she had first learned it. She could easily see where the soil below her became thicker, the stones that mixed in, and the way the rock below that came up in cracks and bunches, filled with clay and soil. That wasn’t what she was looking for however. It only took a short stroll from her starting place to sense the pathways below the surface. The clay packed dirt made a surprisingly sturdy ceiling for the crisscrossing pathways below their feet.

Below her a warm furry form rested curled up at the end of a burrow. That was her target, this would be easy. Her shade flowed easily from her arm after years of practicing, it changed into the form she wanted, something she hadn’t practiced specifically but understood. It took a few moments, carefully observing her own shade as she prepared it. It was fine however, she could easily do what was next. She pushed it forward, aiming to pierce the dirt below her, and secure her prize. She pulled her arm back, shade formed up into a piercing shape, thin and sharp. She had seen her father use this type of form before, though in his case it was to carve wood.

Just as she was about to ram it down into the dirt, a loud voice cracked the air, “Stop!”

Amanda froze, a chill running down her spine at the intensity of it. It was after all a voice she knew better than anyone else. She glanced directly towards her father, it was easy to pick him out, even at this range the way his presence existed in the aura made him obvious, even at the edge of her visible range.

The adults around him stared at him in shock. However her father had eyes only for Amanda, emotion flickered on his features. She understood at once, he was angry. No more than angry, he was furious. Even his shade seemed to tremble with emotions boiling inside.

Amanda’s brilliant idea evaporated in her stomach, leaving only an empty pit. She hadn’t expected him to be happy, though some part had secretly hoped he would be proud of her results. The one thing she hadn’t considered however was being stopped before she even began. She almost considered plunging ahead anyway, however her eyes were captured by her fathers gaze.

Even as their eyes were locked Amanda took a breath. Her mind prepared to argue, ready to stand up to her father like she had never done before. Lines she had considered in the late evenings over the past few days bubbled to the surface ready to leave her lips at the first complaint.

However the angry accusation did not come, the furious lecture was not present. Instead her father said one thing, “Amanda, we are going home.”

All her preparations, all her thought on the matter, all her effort ignored. “What?” Amanda demanded, shocked by the direction things had gone. She had expected anger, she had expected pride, she had expected that he would be overjoyed if angry. This however, was something else. Something she couldn’t reconcile, something she failed to understand.

Joan who was standing closer to Amanda looked at her father, “Leon… The trial is underway.”

“That is no longer important. I have to speak with her in private.” He gave his explanation, no room for question or doubt..

Joan was confused, as was everyone else obviously.

Amanda glanced to her arm, realizing that her concentration had broken and her shade had returned to normal.

“Amanda, we are going home. Now!” He turned, and gestured with one hand, his eyes burning with accusation, with fury.

Amanda’s defiance fled. She did as her father wished. Even on the day he had yelled at her that he wasn’t going to teach her he hadn’t been as angry as he was now. That night still burned bright in her memory, but the difference in her father was like between night and day, at least to her. For the first time in her life she thought that perhaps she had truly done something her father would never forgive.

Mind racing in circles, around and around. Amanda dared not turn to use her eyes to see her father. Instead she watched with aura sight as her father walked behind her. His gaze burned in its intensity, even as she led the way. Moments drew long, and the chill in the air grew. As they continued heading home the tension in the air grew taught.

By the time they were trudging through the snow the silence was too great, and Amanda whirled to face him. The pressure had to go somewhere, and not having any idea of what else to do, she stared back at him with a sudden intensity of her own. Both of them standing in the snow they stopped. “Why aren't you saying anything?” Amanda demanded.

Her father, like a tall judging mountain staring down at her asked, “Will you listen?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She asked, not understanding the question.

“Then why didn’t you listen when I told you to wait?” His tone was hard and cold like steel, colder than any chill in the wind, or in the snow.

His words cut deep, and now she understood, this was about more than disobeying him, she had done that before. This was the accumulation of not one act of obstinance, not simply ignoring him two times, or even three. She could see in his eyes now, years of betrayal reflected back at her, and as she realized it, the weight fell heavy on Amanda’s shoulders. Almost making her knees buckle.

“How long have you been using your shade?” Her father demanded.

Amanda considered doing anything but replying, but as soon as the idea manifested in her mind, it evaporated as though her fathers gaze were a hotplate and such an idea was a splash of water. Nothing else to do, with the weight of guilt so strong it was practically a physical force, she answered, “I’ve been practicing since you told me you wouldn’t teach me.”

“So when I told you that I wouldn’t teach you because I was worried for your safety you ignored me. Instead you practiced in secret? When? While I was asleep? While I left and visited the village? Is that why you stopped going to the village with me? So you didn’t have to worry about me watching you?” He asked, his words while not entirely accurate struck hard with how close the truth was.

“While you were asleep… At first I couldn’t do it at all.. I only had to hide it once I started making progress.” She explained, though she wasn’t even sure why she kept going.

“When was that?” He asked, his pain infusing each word.

Amanda took a small breath, “When I started going to the village for lessons.”

“So you used lessons as an excuse to get time away from my prying eyes.” he said, his eyes cutting, his words accusing.

“Yes...” She said admitting the truth, it hurt to say it. She had rationalized it to herself before, to herself and to her father, surely she could always use more practice, surely she could learn more from the people in the village. It was like she had suddenly realized she had stabbed her father with a knife the way his eyes were fixed on her, what was worse now that she had admitted it, it felt that way to her too.

“Do you not understand that I did what I did to protect you?” He demanded, has tone rising in volume for the first time.

“I can protect myself now! You taught me that much!” She returned in a rising voice even though her own pain came with it. The anger pushed her to defend herself, even as the pit inside attempted to swallow her up from below.

“Not even remotely Amanda, I may have taught you to defend yourself, but there are forces in this world you have no comprehension of.” He lectured, trying to reign in his own anger.

“I would if you would teach me!” Amanda returned wishing that there was some middle ground between them.

“You were too impulsive, and too young, even now I see that you’re too untrustworthy to travel alone.” He pronounced.

It was a punch to her gut, Amanda swayed at the words.

Yet her father wasn’t done, “You have no idea how dangerous the aura is to someone too eager. Honestly the fact that you are still alive shocks me to my very core, the potential forces you are dealing with could kill you. But beyond that, not just you, but me, the people in that village.” He said gesturing with a finger. “There's no telling what mistakes you might have made in your recklessness!”

“I’ve never hurt myself, or anyone else with it!” Amanda shouted back.

“Is that true?” Her father demanded, his tone deadly serious.

In fact his words caused her to flinch at her own lie. Her mouth worked soundlessly for a moment, before she took a shuddering breath and shook her head slightly. “No..” After a moment she glanced up to his expectant gaze, and she continued, “I burned myself… I told you I had gotten burned when I tried to grab my babbit out of the fire.”

“I should have known… but I trusted you.” He said back, his words crushing Amanda from inside.

Amanda couldn’t help it, tears burst from her eyes, “I didn’t know… After that I never tried collecting the aura again… I only practiced moving it and moving things with my shade..” She admitted, more than anything pleading now.

“Shaping.” Leon said simply, “You’ve never mixed your shade with other aura?”

Amanda shook her head sniffing.

“Good, at least you’ve not made that mistake. Burns can heal, body corruption is another story.” Her father said, slowing his mental pace.

“Body corruption?” Amanda asked warily.

“If you pull mixed aura into your body bits of air, water or stone can come with it. It's extremely important that you not pull such things into your body as it can make you sick, or injure you on the inside.” He said firmly.

Amanda hung her head, having had no idea. In truth she had never even known to try that. She had mirrored her fathers methods, and she wasn’t sure if she had seen him doing that, or if she had probably misunderstood what it was he was doing.

“I’m sorry...” Amanda said looking at her feet.

“A simple apology isn’t going to cut it.” Her father stated.

Amanda whimpered, but continued, “I… I know what I did was… wrong, I just… I needed to learn, I had to… I didn’t know what else to do… At first I was going to prove to you that I could do it… But then I got scared that you would be mad… So I didn’t tell you.” She sniffed, “And I was so excited about figuring it out that I couldn’t stop… I just… I had to keep practicing… I kept getting better, and better.” Tears rolled freely now, “I was so excited that I was going to go to Vanshimer cause I knew that when I came back I wouldn’t have to hide anymore!”

“Then why show me now?” Her father asked, in an almost pleading tone, “Why after all this time give your secret up? I just… I don’t understand it.” He offered, his confusion was evident.

Amanda wailed out her answer, “I don’t know…. I just wanted to show you… I wanted you to be proud of me!” She balled like she hadn’t cried in years, not sure what else to do. It was like she was six winters younger, somehow lost in the woods, crying out to be saved.

Then her fathers arms crashed around her, pulling her in tightly. “Amanda… I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I only wanted what was best for you. Why did you ever think that me being angry would be worse than lying all this time?”

“I don’t know!” She cried out into her fathers chest, pulling at his clothing.

“Amanda… If I had known you were practicing in secret I would have just taught you. Even I realize that once you get going you won’t stop. I know more than anyone how you never want to give up once you get started… I thought I had scared you off, and when you started asking me about my years at Vanshimer I thought you were just getting excited to attend.” Her father said, one hand on her head.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I had just… I was just worried.. and then things started to change between us… I wasn’t sure what to do… so I just… I just kept hiding it…” She admitted in a rush.

“You silly girl… Things changed between us because you kept-” He cut himself off, and started again, “Because you were pushing me away, I thought you just wanted space.. To grow up. I figured that we wouldn’t be that close forever. I had no idea...” Her father said clearly a bit unsure himself.

Amanda sobbed, “I’m sorry… it's my fault…”

Her father ran his hand over her head carefully avoiding her ears, “It's my fault too… I should have known you better. Still.. You are here, and so am I, as angry as I was that you didn’t listen, I’m so glad that you didn’t hurt yourself. That you were smart enough to not get burned twice.”

Amanda nodded her agreement.

After a short time Amanda’s tears slowed, and she pulled herself back to look up at her father. His anger was gone, and the man that stood over her was every bit the father she wanted, the pride beaming in his eyes, along with something else. She suddenly realized what it was. He was relieved.

“So, show me what you’ve learned?” He asked, giving her a reassuring smile, the pain was still there, but he was forging on, trying to bridge the space between them.

Amanda wiped away her tears with a sleeve, and nodded.

So she did, first she showed him how she was now able to extend her shade. Extending beyond her like simple tendrils. She demonstrated how the aura was pushed as she did so. It was a bit harder to see with the air cooling off rapidly. However if she reached down into the soil and clay she was able to pull warmth from below up and into the snow. It didn't melt the snow as obviously as when her father used his trick, but it did melt some. Her father just listened as she walked him through what she had learned.

“The only other trick I’ve learned is this.” She said extending her shade out and gripping with it. Or at least that was how she thought of it. The result was that the air itself seemed to stiffen. From there she could reach it down, and gathered up a bit of the half melted snow. She lifted it up, using all her focus to make it work.

The bit of snow she had gathered obviously warmed in her invisible grasp.

“Not bad.” Her father said, “The skills you have learned are already significant and useful.”

Amanda nodded in agreement.

“How strong are you?” He asked.

“Strong?” Amanda asked, not quite understanding.

“How much can you lift with your shade just using the air?” he clarified.

“I’m not sure, I have practiced mostly with digging and moving the ground around.” She explained, a bit unsure of herself.

“Honestly that's a good way to practice. Use the ground around you, and raise it up.” Her father explained.

Amanda did, her shade was quick and her practice in changing its shape showed, reaching down she spread it out as far as she could, until she was certain that anymore would make it impossible to lift. Then with a mental heave she lifted. The soil, clay and stones were lifted free, to her eyes they seemed to float. The effort of it made her body feel weaker, and as though it was a muscle in her body she could feel the strain of it. It didn’t weigh on legs, or arms, but rather it felt much like an extra arm that was simply flexing.

The result was less impressive than it felt. While it wasn’t anything to scoff at, the awkwardly shaped chunk of ground lifted up a few feet from the ground, and perhaps was the size of Amanda herself, if she did her best to resemble a ball. She looked to her father for approval.

“How long have you been practicing this?” He asked.

“A little bit since last winter? I didn’t figure out how to grab things until then.” She admitted, unsure if her father was happy with the result.

He nodded, “That's good progress then. Honestly seeing you having made this progress I wish I could have offered you tips...” He said with a small smile. His response was even, and kind. But it wasn’t praise. She had always imagined that the day she showed her father her progress he would be proud, unable to contain his excitement for her. Instead she got this, perhaps she had set her hopes too high? On the other hand had she done everything she could have? Something in her gut said she hadn’t. That she could have done more, that she could be stronger, faster. Her father rarely showed off the depth of his strength, but she had a vivid recollection from that long dark trip to Synovo years prior. She hadn’t even been able to sense him at the time, yet somehow she knew her father was in another league. Would she ever reach his level?

She was pulled from her thoughts as her father continued, “But I do have one for you now.”

“Hmm?” Amanda perked up, her mind returning to the conversation in front of her. Her curiosity peeking through from wherever it had been hiding.

Her father’s shade flowed out across the ground below him, and after a moment he pulled a sizable chunk of ground upwards, though it remained connected with the ground. “It's less straining to not hold things aloft with your shade alone, so you can move material,while you use other material to support it.”

Amanda finally let her own chunk of ground drop to the ground with a crack, her invisible muscles worn from the effort. “What's better to practice?”

“Both have marit, for pure strength training lifting like you just showed me, you’re shade much like a physical muscle grows stronger the more you use it. The more you use it to move things. The more time you put into practicing quick motions. These things will benefit you greatly.”

Amanda nodded, beaming at realizing she had been using her time wisely.

“However practicing moving supported material is a good idea too, if you need to move a lot of material very quickly it's significantly easier that way, whereas the other way is better for simple training.”

“Why would I need to do things the other way if training one way is better?” Amanda asked.

Her father gave her a sideways stare, “If a wild beast was after you would you be worried about training right then? Or would survival be more important?”

Amanda blinked realizing how deep her one track mind truly was, “Right...”

They covered a few more details, and he had her show him smaller fruits of her training, but finally Amanda had to ask, “Am I still going to go to the Vanshimer?”

As she asked, her fathers shade folded back into himself, done with his demonstration. He considered her. He put what felt like an endless number of moments into weighing her. So much so that Amanda couldn’t help but shift her weight back and forth and glanced away, feeling ashamed.

Finally he spoke, “You will go. If you stayed I’d simply end up training you myself, which would defeat the purpose of why I decided to send you in the first place.”

Amanda brightened.

Yet he clarified, “But you realize that you still need to regain my trust?”

Amanda’s mood sank some at that, but she nodded, “Yeah…”

“Good, then we should get home, and you need to start packing.” He said, turning towards home.

“Right now?” Amanda asked.

“As far as I can tell you are ready, and while you might not leave today, since you will be traveling with a caravan, you will need to be ready as they won’t wait around all day for you, even if you are a paying participant.”

Amanda couldn’t help herself, she rushed her father, and threw her arms around him, “Thank you!”

Her father chuckled, patting her head fondly, “You have earned it, you’ve been working hard this whole time, I can tell. Come on, let's get packing, and eat dinner. Who knows when the next caravan will be coming through.”

As they walked side by side back up the mountain side, a singular truth finally settled inside Amanda, any day she would be leaving home, leaving her father here and going off to Vanshimer, to see the world, to learn to be a magus. It was as terrifying as it was exciting, and she couldn’t help but also realize it might be too soon.