I slowly recovered. Once I could sit up again, I found that Wuinal had brought more food to me. Instead of breakfast, this seemed more dinner oriented. Steaks and potatoes with asparagus rested on the plate with a nice sauce filling the base. My mouth watered at the sight as I reached for it. Ignoring the silverware, I grabbed an asparagus and took a bite. It crunched perfectly and filled my mouth with such lovely flavors. I quickly grabbed my fork and repeated with the potatoes. They felt like eating air with how light and fluffy they were. The steak nearly burst in my mouth how juicy it was and I did not even need to chew with its tenderness.

I finished the meal in a flash to find Wuinal back in its spot, sipping on a red. Looking off to the side, I saw what essentially was a bar. Only instead of bottles, there were the bubbles of liquid. I collected one of the reds and rested across from Wuinal. I relaxed, doing my breathing exercises when Wuinal spoke.

“Why?”

“Why what?” I asked, letting things flow through me.

“Why ask for that as a boon?”

“Because they cared for me,” I responded. I felt my eyes watered as I thought of how much my family cared for me. Of all the things my friends did for me. And how little I could reciprocate.

Silence filled the air again as I reminisced. I would never see my parents again. It did not hurt, which is what I expected. My view of the world had been changed long before I came here. My emotions flowed through me, and that included love. I could watch, but never felt, the love that others gave me. My siblings were wonderful, but I could never give enough. My friends were always there for me, but I could never ask for anything. At least this way, I could give them something back.

“I one time met a guy. He was a loving father and husband. He helped his community and often sacrificed for others, saying it was his duty. He was known as wise and many would come to seek his council. He lived as selflessly as he could. When Magic brought him here, do you know what he asked for as a boon?” Wuinal asked. Instead of the bombastic way it normally talked, this was subdued. It waited until I shook my head before continuing.

“He asked for a kingdom for himself. He asked to become a king that others would worship. He asked to become a Pharaoh like he had heard about from his past life. A god-king in name and reality.” Wuinal’s stared hard at me. “This man, in his previous life, was better than you in every way. We had hopes for him, and he disappointed us. He got his desire. I won’t tell you the results, but know that after he completed his task, we had to send another to take care of him.”

“You, instead, asked for something so minor it had already been taken care of. You asked for nothing for yourself, only for those that you will never see again. I ask, why?”

I looked at Wuinal as I processed what he said. If everything I had been told was true, I just wasted my boon. If given the chance, I would have changed it then. If my family and friends would have peace, then I probably could have gotten the world to give them their best lives. I sighed in disappointment at my loss, before answering.

“It didn’t matter what I said. I am your and Magic’s slave until you decide I am done with and then I shall be discarded.” I stared at my hands, opening, and closing. “I can deal with that. But the thought of all the pain I inflicted because of it.” I breathed as I looked up. “It will haunt me. The thoughts of the pain will only return time and time to distract and hurt me. Do not take me as being selfless. I just didn’t want more bad memories.”

I sat there, letting everything pass through me. With each breath, I took in the problems and my emotions. With each exhale, I tried to let them go. Despite my meditation, they seemed stuck to me. I let my smile die as I was confronted with the truth. The ones I left behind will be fine. But it will not provide peace to me.

That, at least, I could tolerate. I was used to being a disappointment. Instead, I let the emotions take root in my memory, to bring their pain when I was vulnerable or alone. There was always comfort to be found in the familiar, even it was pain.

I took a sip of my red. I think it was supposed to be sublime, but instead, it just coated my mouth in a buttery feeling. My smile returned at the familiar feeling. I rose and collected another plate of steak and potatoes. The potatoes did not taste as airy. The steak was chewier and less juicy. Each bite reduced the pleasure of eating until it returned to the same banal flavor that all food returned for me.

I felt Wuinal’s stare on me the entire time. Looking at it, it sat there, slowly sipping at its drink. I frown as the serious mood began to permeate through everything. I set my half-finished plate on the ground and stood next to my bed. I stretched reaching high to the sky before bending over to try to touch my toes. As I slowly rose, I grabbed the edge of my mattress and attempted to flip it.

Wuinal just floated high, still somehow sitting on my pillow, and clutching its drink. I frowned before summoning my pillow. It appeared in my hands, causing a reaction from Wuinal for the first time in minutes. Without words, I swung like Babe Ruth going for a home run. I connected, sending the little guy flying.

I just about buckled over from laughter, before collecting my world-given weapon and chasing after. It took a moment for it to recover, but Wuinal recovered with a vengeance. It dove at me with its spear extended, I sidestepped it and gave another swing, missing Wuinal. Still chuckling, with a dumb goofy grin on my face, I watched as it pulled out of its dive.

Jogging over, I watched to see if I could get another clean hit. Wuinal stared at me with anger bubbling in its eyes. It watched as it hovered well above me while I jumped up and swatted at it. I made sure to laugh, even at my failures, even when I collapsed from landing poorly. I just got up and repeated it.

The anger dissipated as Wuinal observed my antics. Slowly, it hovered at my highest reach, dashing up whenever I made a swing. With each miss, Wuinal would get lower and lower until I eventually managed to get a hit in. It joined my laughter as it dodged my pathetic swings until I had tired myself out.

Without the need to push myself, I collapsed once I got tired. I positioned my pillow rest my head, but before I could lie down, Wuinal was sitting on it. The smile from our play was still showing as I shook my head as it once more claimed my weapon as its preferred perch.

Stretching, I laid next to it, enjoying the moment. A moment threatened to be ruined by questions.

“This task will provide more bad memories. Do you think you can handle them?” Wuinal asked. I looked over to find it copying my pose, starting up at the sky.

“It doesn’t matter. Either I will or I will not. The memories will haunt me or not. Either way, I will survive and continue to do my job.” I smiled at that. “A proper chance to grow is all I ever wanted.”

I fell asleep lying there. I did not know you could sleep in a dream, but I did. No dreams or memories greeted me, but rather an eternal void. I have not had such a peaceful night since.