I awoke in a new location. I had gone to bed normally. I brushed my teeth, removed my contacts, stripped down to my boxers, and went under the covers. The basic process anyone does when going to bed. And the basic process of waking up did occur too. I awoke under the covers, in my boxers, without my contacts and my mouth full of cotton. It was just that my bed was not in my bedroom.

The first hint I was someplace new was the lack of a ceiling. Instead, a pure blue sky faced me. No clouds defaced the tapestry of my new ceiling. And from what I could see, lying down facing straight up, there was no sun. Rather the light just seemed uniformly exited from the sky. Moving my head from side to side did show that yes, there was no sun. And as far as I could tell, no walls.

My new bedroom, as I was choosing to call it, existed outside in a field. A cared-for field if I had any inkling, as the grass was not taller than myself. The grass was grass colored, so that green that you cannot define beyond “grass green.” The land was also flat. Honestly, it looked as if someone decided it would be hilarious if they took me and transported me and my bed onto a massive lawn.

So, I did what any reasonable person would do in this situation. I pulled the covers over my head and attempted to fall back asleep. It did not work. I went for cheap when picking out my linens and the sun easily penetrated through the thin protection. And empty fields are loud. Not loud in a way that you would notice unless if you happened to be trying to fall asleep. Finally, something poked me.

In keeping with my desire to act as a reasonable person, I flailed around and got thoroughly tangled. Flopping around like a fish, I managed to acquire the most fearsome weapon of children and teenage girls at a slumber party: a pillow. Gripping the case firmly in both hands, I leapt to my feet positioned to wallop the poker with a fury of a 5-year old.

What stood before me was an imp or pixie of some kind. It looked like a monster from one of the TV shows I watched as a kid. Its body was a ball with arms, legs, and wings. It was covered in what looked to be a thick, but short, fur. Like what you would see on a cat. And it was blue. The only parts that were not covered by fur were its hands, feet, and face. Which resided in the center of its body. Its eyes were pure black ovals that I could see my reflection in, and its mouth rested in a thin smile. Its flesh was a mottled gray.

I took all this in while ignoring the spear it was brandishing against me. Since the pixie/imp was as large as my fist, the spear was about as large as a pen. But that did not stop it from looking like it could easily jab my fleshy bits again. My hope lied in using my pillow to deflect its body into something that was not me if it charged. Then, using logic built from stories and games, I would gain ultimate power and rule the universe. But, if I used logic built from reality, it would recover, and I would play whack a mole until one of us got tired. And I had just woken up.

Instead, the hovering creature took the often-overlooked third option. Coughing into its little fist, it made an expansive gesture before beginning. Its spear, I noticed, was positioned tip-up. I did not lower my pillow.

“Welcome! You have been chosen to join our wonderful world. I have been picked as your initial guide to aid you in your transition!” The pixie ended his statement by flying closer to my head height with a rainbow formed around its head. I kept my weapon ready.

We remained there, me ready to defend myself and the pixie arms out. If there were crickets, I imagined they would have been chirping. After a time, the pixie coughed, dispelling the rainbow, before continuing.

“What is your name, newcomer?”

My eyes darted left to right, doing my best to keep him in sight as I slowly backed away. I wished my cheap sheets came with another pillowcase, that way I would have twice the weapons. Still, I did not want to be rude.

“Vee.”

“Vee. Do you think you could lower your weapon? I won’t harm you.”

I slowly lowered my pillow, holding it on one side. I made sure to readjust my grip, with the pillow being compressed deeper into the case.

“Thank you,” the pixie continued after I was done adjusting. “I realize this might be surprising to you, hence why I am here.”

“A creature I have a vague recollection of from my early childhood. Instead of, I do not know, an actual person?”

“Would an actual person make things easier on you?”

“Doubtful. I am going with lucid dream theory right now.”

“If that is easier for you, then proceed.” It bowed at that, crossing its spear across its little body. I resisted the urge to strike. We remained in that position for another uncomfortable moment before it continued.

“As I mentioned, you have been chosen to join our wonderful world. Do you have any questions at this time?”

“Yes.” I responded. It stared at me as I looked deep into its eyes. More specifically, I looked at my reflection in its eyes, trying to see if I had been changed at all. It was like trying to check myself out in a spoon.

“Do you wish to ask them?” It prodded.

“No.”

“Alright… Our world is vastly different from yours. In fact, there is only our world. It was formed by what you might think of as magic. Traveling up just sends you higher and higher. There may be things beyond your sight above, but that is rather high up. Same with traveling down. If you dig and dig you would eventually find something new, by never come out another side. I have been told that is much different from your world?”

“Ah, yeah. So how does gravity work here then.”

“Magic!”

“And light?”

“Magic!”

“So basically, everything functions off magic.” I twisted my head at that. “Does this magic have rules?”

“Rules! Yes!” The pixie got overly excited at that. It attempted to float closer to me but failed when I collapsed onto my bed, brandishing my pillow.

“Sorry,” It said, gliding back. “I just get so excited by the rules. They’re so much fun!”

“Rules. Fun. Right. I bet you’d love physics.” I muttered to myself.

“Is that the Magic of your world? Then I bet physics is loads of fun too!”

“Um, yeah, sure.” Vee’s feigned confidence did not seem to bother the pixie. Rather, it floated to the side of my bed before creating a list in the air. The font was excessively curly, making it next to impossible to be read.

The Rules

….

“Can you change the font? I can’t read that.” Vee asked

“Oh, really? I thought that was how you write.” The pixie responded before changing it to still fancy, but readable font.

“That is better. And I cannot read my handwriting anyway so it would make sense I could not read it blown up like that.”

“Strange.” The pixie muttered.

“Nope, perfectly natural. The strange people are those that can read their handwriting.”

Pixie just stared at me before repeating the presentation of the rules.

The Rules

Magic makes the world run You can only have so much Magic in you Don’t question how Magic works Have Fun!

I read the more legible rules before looking back to my guide.

“Have fun? That is one of your universal laws?”

“No. I just thought it would be helpful to you.”

“And what do you mean don’t question how magic works? Is that like function or form or the effects like the light or world or…” I was interrupted when a ghostly hand appeared before me. Giving me enough time to acknowledge it, it waggled its finger back and forth before slapping me.

“Never mind.” I muttered before focusing on Pixie again. “Do I at least get a hint about when Magic is doing it or when it might be something else?”

“It’s just easier to assume everything is caused by Magic.” Pixie consoled me.

“How do you know when you’re full-on Magic? Or is that questioning how Magic works?” I asked my guide.

“You more know when you’re empty on Magic. And that is fine. Figuring how long it takes you to get full is also fine. Trying to figure out how you get full tends to get you slapped, or worse.”

“Worse?” I pressed.

“Magic likes being mysterious. If it thinks you’re pushing too far, it will… stop you. Usually by stopping to work for you.”

“But Rule 1 says that Magic makes the world run.” I began. Pixie nodded while I continued. “And if Magic stops working for you, does that mean you stop…running?”

“More like cease to exist but stop running does sound nicer.” Pixies gray skin took a greenish tinge at the thought before continuing. “So as long as you don’t question too much everything will be fine! Look, Magic is already rewarding your understanding.”

I looked around and noticed that I had gotten rewarded, of a sort. Within my field-room was a bush that was growing my favorite shirt, pants, socks, and shoes. Next to my clothing bush was a tree whose fruit was bacon and eggs. And actual fruit. And fruit juice, bubbled in a bubble. I stared, blinking at the new growth.

“Is Magic always so obvious?” I asked.

“No. I imagine since you’re new its being kind to you. And showing you that Magic does run things here.”

“It worked.” I toneless replied before picking my clothes and breakfast. The clothes came off easily, though I had to remove tags and stickers from them. I turned the socks inside out, just to make sure nothing weird was in them. Or weirder than them appearing new, on a bush. My shoes were my favorite pair of boots, also new. I sighed thinking of how long it would take to break them in. But they slid on perfectly, fitting better than the pair in my old world.

The breakfast tree seemed to lean down to me, making picking each piece easier. There was a plate, a fork, a knife, with two fried eggs and three perfectly cooked pieces of bacon. As I reached towards them, they seemed to morph into the ideal piece of bacon, just a bit chewy rather than the crispy burnt pieces that everyone else seemed to like. The fruit morphed into an orange as my fingers closed on it, and the bubble of juice just… floated next to me.

I sat beneath my breakfast tree and enjoyed the best breakfast I had ever eaten. It was only after I finished that I noticed that my clothing bush and breakfast tree had disappeared. And that Pixie was also enjoying a pixie sized version of my breakfast. Also, my bed was gone. But I still had my trusty pillow close by, so at least there was that.

I set it on my legs as I waited for Pixie to finish eating. I leaned back without thinking, assuming the tree I had just got my meal from was still behind me and did not fall flat on my back. Instead, a stone of unusual comfort hit my back as I let myself relax. I could not help it. The temperature was perfect. The weather was sublime, with a small breeze that kept me feeling fresh. There even was a warm feeling as if the sun were beaming down on me. Then Pixie poked me again.

I will admit I overreacted. Grabbing my pillow, I smacked the little flyer. Only instead of sending it fluttering back, it just hovered there. I looked between it and my pillow and back again before I realized what happened.

“Sorry.” I muttered. I kept my eyes down, trying to look properly chastened.

Instead of berating me, Pixie just looked at my pillow lying between us. It poked my pillow with the point of its spear before looking to me.

“That was… soft. Why did you pick that as your weapon?” Pixie slowly lowered itself on my weapon and seemed to mush it about some. It smiled as it seemed to find a comfortable position.

“Um, because it was all I had? I do not sleep with a knife or a gun.”

“What’s a gun?”

“A weapon from my world. Wait, does that mean I can choose what I get as a weapon.” My eyes lit up with the thought of all the military gear I could choose. I had to wonder if the Heli-carrier counted as one weapon.

“Uh, no. You already chose. I must say, it is a nice one.” Pixie responded before lying down fully. “Really comfortable.”

I dropped my head into my hands at that. It was only after I thought about armor that I perked up, only to drop my head again.

“My clothes are my armor choice, aren’t they?”

“Yup, and that meal was your boon. I must say, your choices are certainly unique. I like them.” Pixie beamed at that. I had to admit, its smile was infectious. I felt the edges of my mouth quiver as I did my best to remain depressed.

“Can you tell me my quest then?”

“Quest?” Confusion filled its face. And its body since I suppose its face and body were the exact same thing. Staring at me, I noticed it did not have eyelids. As that realization was penetrating my brain, Pixie suddenly jerked towards me.

“QUEST! Of course! How could I forget the addendums?” With a flourish, more words appeared nearby.

Vee, you have been chosen to end the threat to the land. To help you on your journey, you may choose a weapon, armor, and a boon from your world. Choose well.

I groaned before collapsing. The stone helpfully disappeared, leaving me staring at the cheery sky.

“Pixie,” I began, “Why did you not lead with that?”

Pixie bobbed in the air before responding.

“I just thought you knew.”

I dragged my hand across my face. Taking in a deep breath, I turned my head to look at the guide.

“Can you at least show me how to use the Magic in me? Or tell me what the threat to the land is?”

“No and no. Honestly, I have done almost everything I can do.” Pixie responded before flying up. I picked my pillow up and gently set it on my stomach. “My last task is to take you to where you will join the fight.”

I sat up, clutching my pillow close to me.

“No, no, no. Not that. Why would you take me there? I cannot even fight. I have never thrown a punch before. Why would you drop in a fight?”

“Oh, don’t worry. You won’t be put in any direct danger.” Pixie responded before grabbing my pinky. Despite what I might have wanted to say, the little creature dragged me into the air, and we flew far faster than I would have thought possible.

I thought I might have had the change to observe as the land change. Instead, tears filled my eyes as wind-whipped into me. The wind itself seemed to press against me, preventing me from moving, as Pixie dragged me to wherever I needed to go.

After what felt like an age, I found myself sitting on a marble floor of some sort. I moved forward on my hands and knees, wheezing as tears filled my vision. Blood pounded in my ears as my body shook. My attempt to crawl forward was quickly halted when darkness enveloped me. I mean that literally, as all light sort of blinked out. Taking the hint, my body collapsed as my mind slowly turned itself off.

I prayed it was the strangest dream I have ever had.