“You need to wake up my little Blue Jay.”

“But I don’t want to go! Can’t I stay here with you?”

“I don’t want you to go either, but they need you down there. They need you to help them.”

“Can’t someone else help them? Why me?”

“Didn’t you always wonder why you were different from the other little boys? You were born with a gift my little Blue Jay. You are the most special little boy in the world and you are the only hope they have for salvation. Don’t you want to be a hero? Like your dad?”

“So I am going back to fight bad guys? Like dad?”

“Yes my little Blue Jay. You will stop the bad guys and help many people, just like your father.”

“I’m scared mom. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Be brave my little Blue Jay. You will never be alone. Whatever happens, remember that I will always be with you, always watching over you.” I hugged the shivering boy close and kissed his forehead one last time before he vanished in a shower of golden sparks.

I have done a lot of terrible things in the name of justice and the greater good: I have subverted ultimate truths and shrouded them with shameless lies, I have stolen objects of immense power, things that no god or demon should possess, I have even committed mass atrocities on a planetary scale, wiping out billions of sentient lifeforms in the blink of an eye, sacrificing them on an altar of my righteousness. Many people might have worshipped me as a virtuous goddess, celebrating me as Sophia the Saint, the one who weaves the strings of fate and protects the broken and downtrodden, but I knew that the majority of the multiverse saw me as a ruthless dark goddess, the wicked spider queen Lloth spinning webs of deceit and corrupting fate.

No, I have grown used to being vilified. I have long decided to shoulder any sin and bear any insult in pursuit of my goals, but for some reason, what I had just done bothered me a great deal more than I thought it would. Cheating an innocent child made me feel dirty in a way that I had never felt before. On an intellectual level, I knew that what I had done was necessary. In fact, if I had decided not to act based on some misguided sense of honor or decency, I would have been guilty of negligence. It had to be done and that was final, but sometimes I wondered if I would look in the mirror one day and find that what I saw was something that was completely cold, uncaring, and devoid of humanity.

I subconsciously touched the small wrinkles that radiated from the edges of my eyes and the corners of my lips, I gently traced the small imperfections that were as much signs of a happy life filled with laughter and joy as they were signs of aging. The woman whose appearance I was borrowing was an insignificant mortal whose only notable contribution to the tapestry of fate was giving birth to a remarkable son. She was a trivial speck destined to be washed away in the river of time, yet I felt jealous of what she had, she reminded me of all the things I chose to give up to fulfill my duty.

I couldn’t remember the last time I let someone get close to me. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt the warm touch of someone who cared for me, someone who simply wanted to pull me into their embrace and share feelings of affection. I couldn’t remember the last time another human being just held me close to their chest and told me everything would be fine. I couldn’t even remember the last time I smiled without it being menacing or intimidating. I chased after lofty ideals, but I suddenly realized that somewhere along the way my existence started feeling very empty and hollow.

I have always been alone, but for the first time in a very long time, I felt lonely.

Maybe that was why I let him sneak into my domain and pretended I didn’t notice him spying on me. Maybe I was so desperate for someone to talk to that I would rather suffer his foul presence than wallow in solitude. Of course, it didn’t take long for him to make me regret my decision as he announced his presence by performing a slow sarcastic clap followed by a snarky comment.

“Bravo! Bravo! You truly are talented! Are you sure you wouldn’t rather join the theater? Your talents are being wasted here.”

I tried to control my temper because I knew he was nettling me on purpose. The prick would have liked nothing more than to get a rise out of me. Since I had too much power for him to challenge me directly, it was the only remaining way he had to try to undermine my authority. Of course, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he succeeded.

I took a deep calming breath, and with a small mental effort, I made the false “heavenly” clouds around me vanish. My looks changed from a slightly overweight kindly thirty-two-year-old brunette wearing baggy jeans and a sweater to a slim well-built red-head donning a large elaborate robe.

The robe that hung loosely from my shoulders wasn’t a simple article of clothing or just a symbol of my status, it was also one of the most formidable weapons in existence. It was created using a pure white fabric synthesized from the liquefied energy extracted from the Heart of Light, a flame so vicious, it would burn through the space-time continuum if it ever escaped its prison. The fabric was obviously very unstable and the only way to contain it was using something that could match its voracious appetite, so the robe was decorated with concentrated essence of pure darkness in the form of gems mined from the depths of the Nameless Abyss, an endless void that had already swallowed countless universes and was hungry for countless more. Each gem contained a black hole locked away in its core, so it shackled the fiery fabric, preventing it from escaping and burning everything in its path.

The robe that looked like dark stars floating in a lake of white flames matched well with the rest of the surroundings that was revealed after the fake clouds retreated. Everything was made of equal portions black marble with veins of gloomy red lines running through it like exposed blood vessels, and white marble with shinning lines of gold running through it like rivers of treasure. On the ground, the two types of stones were made into alternating tiles that turned the ground into a giant chessboard ready for an epic battle between good and evil. For the walls, the marble was polished until it turned into glittering mirrors that rippled with unsteady images made of light and shadows, images that would drive most men mad if they looked at them too closely. The giant columns supporting the roof were carved in such a way that the two different types of marble twisted together in a struggle for dominance that was frozen in time and immortalized for eternity. Even the throne that materialized behind me as I sat down was a jumbled mess of black and white crystals that shifted around constantly as if they were locked in mortal combat, each desperately trying to devour the other.

After I sat down, I steepled my fingers together and focused on the annoying little man who had just spoken.

“Councilor Fairweather, I don’t remember the two of us being close enough to call each other by our first names. I would appreciate it if you would refer to me by my title.” I looked down at the little man who didn’t even reach the height of my knee and smirked at the way the corner of his left eye twitched in annoyance. Of course he wasn’t really that small, it was just the way I had arranged the planar laws in my personal space. It might seem petty, but it was shocking how much a little intimidation can go a long way in keeping the councilors and petitioners in line.

The miniature man adjusted the golden cuffs that adorned the white suit jacket which showed his position as a member of the Order Association and took a deep draught from the cigar that perpetually hung from his lips before puffing out a ring of smoke. “Am I not allowed to call my own daughter by her first name?”

“I grant that you had a hand in my conception, but we both know that we are not truly related. Why are you really here Councilor Fairweather? Are you here on behalf of your people? Is there a problem with the Atelli?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to drop in to see what you were up to. Imagine my surprise when I found the great Magistrate herself lying to a kid. So, who was the little tyke? How did he rate a personal intervention from you?”

“Not that it is any of your business, but he currently goes by the name Jonathan Gates.” As I spoke, the tiles in the center of the room fell away to reveal a large pool filled with fog. With a wave of my hand, the fog turned into a whirlpool and retreated to the edge, revealing the image of a young boy burnt beyond recognition and buried under the rubble of a collapsed church.

For the first time that I can remember, Councilor Fairweather’s cigar fell from his mouth and dropped to the ground. “I know that soul! I recognize that soul! The body is all wrong, but I am an Atelli; we never forget a soul. He is John the heretic!”

I observed the charred body stir and a low moan escape from the impossibly injured child. A man in a black priest’s robe pushed open a basement door along with the rubble on top of it just in time to witness the scene. He ran to the injured boy and dragged him out from under rocks that miraculously fell in such a way that they created a small space for the boy instead of crushing him.

“He is not John the heretic, at least not yet.”

Councilor Fairweather looked away from the viewing pool and stared at me with wide eyes filled with incredulity. “It was you? You led him down this path?”

I leant back on the backrest of my throne and closed my eyes to hide my chaotic emotions. “I had no choice. I created the Fulcrum and the Council of Sentients to maintain balance between the Order Association and Chaos Fraternity, but the Fulcrum itself created imbalance by its very existence. I tried to contain the side-effects, but things were only getting worse. John is the solution, the one capable of restoring the balance. John the heretic to balance Sophia the saint, poetic really.”

I quickly brought my unstable emotions under control and looked back at the viewing pool just in time to see the priest drive into a large canyon. He then carried the limp body of the injured boy and disappeared into a pair of enormous metal doors built into the sides of the canyon wall.

I sighed and spoke under my breath, “Good luck John. I hope you can forgive me once everything is finished.”

I said the words even though I knew he wouldn’t forgive me.

I said the words even though I knew I was beyond redemption.