《Interdimensional tuition fees》9: Who is this?
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She directed Sabine out of the room, before continuing.
"Ben."
She took a brown envelope from her mahogany desk, and produced a single sheet of paper from within. Careful not to crease it, she attaches it to a clipboard and places it on her desk.
The title of the form was 'Ben behaviour data sheet.'
A little scared, he had to ask "W-what is this?"
"This form is very important. It…"
As she was starting, Sabine had walked back into the meeting. She placed a tray of off-brand biscuits and milk tea down on her desk. "Hello director! Hope you had a good morning!"
The director picked up the teabag, threw it to the side. "You left the teabag in there again, love."
"Ah!" She whimpered slightly. "Sorry! I will make sure I'll get that right next time."
"No, it's alright."
"Really?" She holds her hands behind her back, as she shyly builds up to her selfish request. "Then… can I have the head pat?"
The director contemplated for a moment, before placing her hand on her head and scruffing it a little, messing up her blonde hair. They both looked very satisfied.
Patrick just sat there, wondering if he should avert his eyes or not, before the director noticed the room wasn't empty and directed Sabine to leave once again.
“I realise you might not be seeing the… full picture here, Mister Charles.”
Patrick decided to keep his judgments to himself, and nodded without understanding.
"Director! I have your breakfast!" She comes back a little sweaty, with some croissants from the other room in her hands.
"Good girl." She got another head pat, but this time Patrick reflexively looked away to preserve their pride and his secondhand-embarrassed red face.
“If you are wondering what is happening, perhaps this might enlighten you to reality.”
She takes out her perception crystal, the size of an ostrich egg, and places her hand on the top and whispers something.
A lick of pink purple energy flows out of the crystal and into the perception crystal around his neck. Patrick could feel the crystal growing in size and weight.
Unsure why, it felt a bit scary and he blinked.
When he opened my eyes, something was different.
Suddenly, on Sabine's head were a couple floppy ears, the same colour as her fluffy golden hair. With each head pat, the ears fluttered with glee, with an equally hyperactive fluffy tail behind her.
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"I presume by your expression, that you have enough perception to see Sabine's true form."
"I’m seeing… she suddenly grew… dog ears? How?"
“Nothing was grown. Only now, nothing is hidden.”
She clears her throat.
"To aid your role, I have extended assistance from the talented hidden staff team at Warwick. You seem confused. Was that not mentioned in your documents?"
“I think that was mentioned in the brochure you gave me, but I didn’t know what that meant.”
“Hidden staff are interdimensional staff hired across dimensions to provide aid, support, and security for our interdimensional students.”
She pointed at Patrick’s necklace, which he found being fidgeted between his fingers.
"The crystal around your neck previously gave you a partial perception of hidden staff. When missing a piece, the brain fills in the gaps. Perhaps, when too many pieces are missing, you might not even see them at all."
The director sneaks her hand up the back of Sabine’s hair, causing her ears to jitter in joy, yipping slightly. “We can’t have a cute girl like you being ignored right?”
At awe at how such prominent and bouncy golden dog ears evaded his eyes, an important question about the whole thing nearly slipped by his mind.
"Miss director. I understand that interdimensional staff is important for interdim students… but, why?"
"Why what?"
"Why… dog girls?"
Her face scorned. “Not *only* dog girls! How dare you make such a generalisation?! I have fought for the past decade to deepen the range and opportunities for interdimensional workers up and down the multiverse!”
“Ah, sorry!”
She looks over at Sabine flicking her ears around like a giddy windsock, and gives her another head pat.
“You would forgive her, right? I know you would.” She says, teasingly. "Where was I… right, the behaviour data sheet.”
She commands Sabine to pass the clipboard over to Patrick, as a copy was procured from her desk to read along.
“As Death themselves are unable to see their son directly, they want data collected on him instead. This is where you come in."
"M-me?"
"Due to student privacy policy, it is inappropriate for staff to collect student data in private spaces. But, nothing is written that says another student can’t collect it for us!"
"Wait, that still doesn’t sound legal."
The director shifts into a slightly formal tone. “In all seriousness, we aren’t going to be storing or looking at any of this information. As a qualifier for their son’s admission to our university was that… we would report his actions back to him… we don’t have much of an alternative. If we didn’t hire a fellow student, our hands would be forced to break the law.”
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“I… erm… does Ben know about this?”
“It would be best if he didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Please read the form.”
The form looked directly adapted from the biology department, and was just a table of boxes for tallying how many of each action happened per day, week, or month. There were sections on the bottom of the table helping to codify and categorise how exactly a particular action should be counted.
His terse posture on the chair only scrunched up further when he read the excretory category.
“I… have to count how often he poops?”
“You don’t need to fill out the stool analysis sections. We white-outed instructions categorising different diarrhoea types because we can’t spare the equipment for it.”
“I have to count his pooping activity?” Patrick’s words were beginning to slip through reddened cheeks.
“You don't have to worry about missing anything. The form is directly adapted from a wild animal study. You can't expect a researcher to perfectly observe a fieldfare and all its habits, and neither will you."
"W-what then?"
"If you notice it, note it. As long as you note how many hours you spend around him in the top of the first page, some mathematics on submission will average it out for you."
She leaned back, one hand on her armchair rest, and the other on Sabine’s head once again. The stroking was beginning to make Patrick very uncomfortable.
"Is this okay… to be touching someone like that in public?"
The director puts her foot down. "It is very important for young dog women to have many headpats for their long term happiness! Nothing strange or inappropriate is happening here. You don't think I am shameless enough to intimately interact with a fellow staff member in front of my students, don't you?"
"..."
"Anyways, I have some head pats to busy for, I mean busy to be with her, I mean important business to attend to." She already had her hand on her head before he even replied. "Do you have any questions?"
"I…” Patrick was more than willing to leave, but there was something he had to get off his chest first. “I s-saw a shadow… shadow-ish person or figure in a building on campus.”
“A shadow?” Her head-patting hand slowed.
“Comparing Sabine and what I saw, I don’t think the shadowy figure I saw was a hidden staff member. It must just be another student, but I’m scared and wanted to ask.”
The direction sucked in air between her teeth, and spoke carefully.
"Please ignore them. They are not members of staff, nor are they guests of the university."
Her vision averted and gazed out the window for a moment. She sighed, then placed her hand on her presence crystal.
A tendril of energy emanated once again, but this time it was blood red. When it entered the crystal, instead of growing in size, the crystal felt… warmer.
“What was that?”
“If there comes a moment where one spots you, activate your crystal by holding it, and saying [Erase] in your mind. It will make you invisible temporarily.”
He thought back to their featureless appearances. “How do I tell when it notices me?”
"You will know." She spoke in a grave tone, sending a chill down his spine. "Please leave. Thank you Mr Charles."
"But… I have more questions about"
"Thank you Mr Charles, but I hate to keep you here any longer. Ms Palancia, please lead our guest to the door, and leave me alone for a moment."
"Aww, really?" Her eyes widened, but the director wasn’t having it.
"Really. Lead him out."
As they left the room, the director looked at Patrick and smiled.
"Just keep an eye on Ben, and everything will be okay. Okay"?
And with that, the door closed behind him.
With the room empty, the director put her hand on the crystal she pulled out, and made an incantation.
"Hello? This is the director of interdimensional studies. Yes, it’s me, Claire. Yes, I know I am calling at an unorthodox time, but we have an emergency. Yes. Something is trying to break through the barrier.”
“Someone is attacking the university.”
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