《Rebirth as Evol a certain evil goddesses's stupid mistake》Volume 1 chapter 3 Cooking with Evol
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Evol pov
Ja Ja Jan
a stern voice lets loose a strange tune into the forest followed by the clapping of hundreds if one were to observe this strange ritual you would bear witness to hundreds of strangely armored individuals whom all look exactly the same.
upon which was not too long ago a mountain was now replaced with a newly formed arena with which now had the most exquisite kitchen had been constructed upon a strange stage cut from the strongest ores the extremely rare and valuable Mithril, the walls from which a divine aura leaked glowed with a pleasant light illuminating the surrounding with a clam light where constructed from Holy attributed metal Starlight a metal that could only form from meteorites that fall within an area of purifying energy such as churches or near a divine beast den, the tables bearing strange patterns giving off an ancient air carved from the strongest of treants Ancient treant from which had lived for thousands of years was only crafted from the left hand as the fingers where tied and used as table legs.
''Now it's everyone's favorite show cooking with Evol '''
the voice declared loudly followed with the cheers of all in the area
''now my sexy audience lets have a look at our ingredients''
the strange entity points his hands towards a large pile monsters in cages from which gave off the same splendid radiance as the walls. many of whom could destroy a town by themselves were now beaten into submission with the looks of despair with their eyes.
''for today's main dish we shall be serving an angry king piggy roast with some cute vegetable people now remember folks to wash thoroughly between the leaves and roots''
the singled out creatures burst into tears the largest of which was an elder Orc lord of a now destroyed underground kingdom, the Vegetable people where the result of high magic being used within the human kingdom for years and mutated into strange giant versions of the food with arms and legs, let not their current beaten appearance deceive you, the mighty Elder Orc was once a threat that could destroy a country's capital city, and the vegetables could each fight a veteran knight on equal grounds as they numbered in the dozens within the cages they were a walking calamity, alas now they are just food waiting to be eaten,
'' now first off after beating the poor piggy gut his children in front of him so the bitter tears can add a little bit of salt and disappear be careful now, we need those babies for the soft juicy ribs, clubs the vegetables till they are not moving then steam them on a mithril grill with our patented Choco Loli goddesses bath water underneath for 5 seconds, careful its extremely hot.
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A heartbreaking scream follows as the king grieves for his children before being silenced forevermore, many veggies try to escape but are all dragged and beaten as they are thrown on the expensive grill, the scent of the meal drives all within the area to anticipate the soon to be done feast.
''after draining the blood of king piggy remove and clean the organs with salt water separate the meats and slowly grill after rubbing in some herbs and spice species veggie people, personally I would keep the arms and legs for a pie but that is optional, after mincing some of the excess pork, fry it with the leftover arms if you want, then take a pre-prepared pie crust I used egg from a big chicken snake but regular eggs work well too leave within the mithril oven for 35 minutes low heat''
the sounds of slurping and chattering fill's the area as they patiently await the chef's next instructions.
'' now for the desert, we have a sponge cake with whipped cream fresh from a wondering cow monster topped with blueberries monster syrup served with a refreshing milkshake containing banana monsters and the milk of the before mentioned monster cow, remember kids don't go getting the ingredients on your own always have an adult nearby when cooking in case of emergency''
a loud chorus of laughter echoes throughout the area.
''guess we should wake up our guests don't you think everybody''
screams of yay's echoes as the audience slowly disappears leaving only 2 off stage and the chef on stage.
'' not bad playing the Ramsy game but could use a better costume next time instead of just the hat''
'' Personally, I'm just glad no more puns or else we would have to decapitate you or us this is hard to word''
'' no more bitching let's go wake up the sleeping beauties foods cooked we are starving could eat a horse or 3''
an intense sigh slowly forms as the 3 head backstage while the food slowly cools and the rest of the monster are thrown in a dark abyss.
Princess Pov
a void of darkness with none but myself, no matter how much I called out nothing answered, be this my punishment for rushing to my departed parent's side, abandoning my duties just to say goodbye, no I refuse I shall not end like this just after being spared a fate worse then death I will not fall to this darkness, as I thought as such an echoing of laughter from a young girl rings throughout this dark abyss.
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''Looks like my new toy has saved a rather interesting person''
''Who are you''
I whisper hoping whatever is speaking to me be not a demon
'' I am the darkest of flames and the most enchanting of beauties but I shall allow you to worship my divine self I am Azarias the deity the thing that saved you serves though he only has the mission to spread my name he is doing it very quickly''
being alarmed at the mention of one of the most powerful gods to exist and the information she provided i began to remember it all the creature and its primordial rage thinking about it, it was rather suited for her a survivor of the ancient war between gods thought it was called a war it was mostly arrogant gods trying to usurp her all failing and her flames robing them of both their lives and powers making her the most versatile of deities.
'' Oh my, those were the days back then life was so much simpler, having reminded me of such good times I shall grant you a very delicious deal''
after having my thoughts read out by her I can't really struggle even better if she can grant me and my remaining companions safety.
''even better my dear ill grant you revenge, currently, the citizens are being spoiled by your parents killer can you believe it blaming their own misfortunes on the one who cared for them the most''
unyielding rage burns within me. oh how easy and tempting it would be to give into, the ones we protected all our lives rejoicing for our deaths, just imagining what they would be doing to my families bodies right now makes me sick, is this what we get for all our hardships, no I refuse, even if we have fallen I still have my pride to not yield to fate if this goddesses and her beast can help get revenge I don't care how much I fall.
'' I take it we have a deal, my servant shall grant your desire and from the ashes of your kingdom build me a temple of blood and despair to all those who are my and your enemies, the one who slew your family has been blessed by an earth goddess one whom I really don't like destroy her temples and followers and usher in the new war of the gods on this land and you shall have your greatest desires fulfilled, throw away your country, your people all but who you hold dear, with my servant by your side your enemies shall be slane, their armies trampled, their strongholds torn asunder, the land shall be scorched the water shall boil and the air poisoned now my child swear your self to me''
bowing before the voice of my new god I am granted an image of her and am entranced by the perfection of her.
''oh before I forget, remind him to offer some of the feast which he has prepared for me, watching his antics is rather entertaining, that Evol maybe twisted and insane but he can cook the most wondrous things by the look of it ''
feeling her presence fade with an echo of sweet laughter I awake by an assault of the most wonderous scent I have ever experienced looking for the sauce i see the being called Evol from before dawning what appears to be a chef hat followed by 2 almost exact copies of him where they not just different shades of green and red instead of his mash of navy, crimson and gold.
after my companions awaken from they're slumber and all of us being healed what followed after would be the most delightful food I have ever tasted, being unable to describe it we can only say one thing,
''yummy''
the 3 of us shout together, after going through hell we all release our pent up feeling together, having the area filled with our sobbing we all huddled together while the Evol's panicking and fetching lovely cakes while sending off the godesse her own feast throught prair, looking towards my future can honestly say it looks bright with the flames of vengence
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