Part IX: The First Sacrament

By Nevena Dals, Disciple of Cerebel

Its been a few weeks since we left the Holy City and I figured we’d make more progress towards Red Mountain, but Milos assures me that there are things more important than reaching Lord Dagoth. He speaks to me of rituals and rites that must be adhered to and I find myself feeling concerned about the degree of conviction in his voice as he speaks of these rituals, because though we once stood as agents of two opposing faiths, we both stood as members of the Clergy, but the Temple never placed as much weight on rituals—at least not like this. Certainly, many laymen looking to devote themselves to the Temple would undergo the Pilgrimage of the Seven Graces, but that was about emulating the deeds of Lord Vivec, not about trying to make oneself worthy of joining the Temple proper, but things are different in the Sixth House. There are different values. Different views. And I am struggling to accept all of these differences so quickly, but Milos assures me that I am a fine student and that he takes great pride in my willingness to learn the ways of the Sixth House.

That is one thing that troubles me. I lack his conviction and I’ve always lacked it, even when I knelt before the Masters of the Temple and they laid hands on me and ordained me an Adept, I still lacked that conviction. I don’t know how or why they chose me to be ordained as a Priestess instead of having me serve as a member of the Laity, but they did. It wasn’t a matter of faith, unless they mistook my doubts as a sign of some hidden depths and unseen profundity, but I never knew the Masters to make mistakes like that. Then again, I never much knew the Masters at all. I suppose that even they were fallible and saw in me what they wished to see, not what actually was, and maybe Milos is doing the same thing. Maybe he’s seeing something that isn’t really there, because he can not or will not look at the real me. I don’t know. I hope not though. I hope that he sees me for what I am, but I suppose it does not matter, because today is the day I undergo the First Sacrament and it is the day that I shed the last vestiges of who I once was and give myself in whole to the Sixth House.

It is the day I forego my hereditary house and instead become a member of my chosen house: House Dagoth, but I am afraid. I can not help but feel a twinge of fear as I think about it, but I do think it is for the best and I know that at this point, I have no other options. My eyes have shriveled into small, black pebbles and my face has become concave as the bones have slowly disintegrated into dust or ash—I can not be sure which—but either way—I am no longer what I once was. Milos tells me that this is to be expected and that soon the skin of my face will grow desiccate and disintegrate as the bones of my face did, but somehow I don’t feel afraid of becoming as the Ash Zombies appear. It just feels so—trivial. Like it does not matter what I appear to be, because there are things with so much more importance swirling around in my head. Too much, but that’s okay. Things will be okay. I know it. I trust that undergoing the sacraments is what I need. At least, it is what I think I need.

Milos spoke to me of the history behind the First Sacrament and how it dates back to the relationship between Lord Dagoth and the Heartwights.

He told me how in the early days after the Battle of Red Mountain, the Tribunal hunted down members of the Sixth House out of fear they would rise up for their betrayal of their master and how his seven most faithful followers organized the other members in hiding. The Tribunal discovered these seven and executed them all, but Lord Dagoth recovered each of them and bound them to the Heart of Lorkhan as he had bound himself, knowing quite well that doing so would weaken his connection to it. But he did it and said unto these followers who would become known as the Heartwights: “Share of my soul and of my heart and become eternal, for through me, you shall live forever.”

As for the actual details of the First Sacrament, Milos has said little. He tells me that I must be willing to have faith and be willing to accept Lord Dagoth’s salvation, just as he did, and just as the Heartwights did, or it shall be for not. I just hope that I am not making a mistake as I sit here in the dark waiting for him, but I trust that Milos will not lead me astray. I only hope that my trust is not misplaced.

-Nevena Dals, Sixth House Aspirant