《The Second Loop: Redemption》Chapter 2
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Riveta was much bigger than Louis last remembered. Perhaps not as big as the megacities in the greater Mainland, but half a million people, perhaps bigger, was no small feat, especially for a town that lacked any generated structures - not that the lack of Divine Magic Chiffon seemed, in any way, hinder its growth. If anything, no set boundary for buildings allowed the town to grow however it wished, with little consideration for practicality or land conservation.
Divine Magic Myr seemed more than an acceptable substitute, creating buildings like plotting a grid. Four houses to a quadrant, four quadrants to a block. Each house looked like the last, save a different paint job, probably done by the residents. The truly inspired additions to some houses came from the ingenious ways people tried to fix their houses without magic, mainly with sticks and stones. Intermittent through this little variety was the occasional store and communal garden.
Home was a two-floor house, almost six blocks away from the school. Their house was among the bigger ones in the area: four bedrooms on the second floor; a kitchen, a living room, a work room and the fifth bedroom on the first floor. Spacious for a single family, but Louis' family shared it with two others - Hefra and Jan. Since Jan had six siblings, not to mention parents and grandparents, the actual housing situation was woefully insufficient. But even that was a respite compared to the current situation - Jan's father had obtained a noble's title and moved out with his family. The financial strain left in its wake meant no one in either remaining family ate well.
The fence, in disrepair, did little to stop Louis from passing and the door was unlocked. Its lock broken, unapparent unless tested. They were lucky this part of the neighborhood still had patrols to ward off more casual thieves.
“Back already, Hefra?” A voice called out from the kitchen, followed by hurried steps as a woman appeared from the kitchen. Nana, Hefra’s grandmother, was around a hundred twenty, just beginning her middle age. Her face, ridden with wrinkles and a giant birthmark that spanned the left side of her face, made her look older. Her hair was white now, and her eyes grey. “Oh, Louis dear, you’re back already. School out already?”
“Yeah, just a math test today and I finished early.” Louis said after a pause. It was odd to think that someone a hundred twenty was old – if he had truly been reborn, he was more than nine times her age and would still look younger than her if he didn't let his life core shatter and putter out.
“Want a strawberry crisp?” Nana said, holding a plate out. An odd offer since their families could hardly afford to eat them.
The smell was sweet, a bit too much, and Louis not a fan of strawberries. Few alchemists in the mainland were – it was the classic sweetener for pills too bitter to swallow, so common that some even called alchemists 'strawberry magicians'. “I love would some, Nana.” Louis said, grabbing the plate. He gobbled up the crisp within a couple bites. “Delicious, as expected of Nana.”
“Well aren’t you a dear, Louis.” She said, hugging him. “Well get some rest, but no more than a nap – Hefra and Amelia are coming home soon from their Test.”
Ah, the annual elemental affinity test. Louis remembered waiting anxiously ever year for that test, hoping that it would his year to awaken his elemental affinity, any elemental affinity, only to be disappointed each and every time. His element would only awaken after that accident that must have punctured his mana core, since he could learn magic from that point on. Using magic now would give his memories a lot more credibility.
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Pulling away from Nana, Louis walked upstairs. One room remained used, filled with boxes. Perhaps Jan had yet to move out entirely or perhaps it was being used as storage until the Van family moved in. Louis must be fairly close to thirty then. That left only two years before the accident. And, this time, Louis would stop it. Assuming, of course, that he had been reborn.
҉҉҉
A bedroom was a generous intreptation of what amounted to little more than a closet. It protected Louis from the elements, which was sufficient for Louis' standards. The door opened up to a table stacked with magical textbooks - some brought home by Hefra and Amelia, but even more left behind by father. One of mother's more blatant attempt to get him to act like his sisters' butler and ward. If he could not practice Divine Magic himself, he could at least help his sisters study.
Where the table ended, the dresser began, leaving just a smidge of room available to open if Louis ever needed clothes. A stack of blankets rested upon his closet, doubling as his bed. And unlike his sisters bedroom, which the closet was attached to, it lacked a glowstone. So when he closed the door, Louis sat in darkness.
If Louis remembered correctly, Efrye had nine Divine Magics, but only seven official ones: the six elemental Divine Magics - fire, water, wind, earth, light and dark - plus the Divine Magic Bryn, for divination. The religions kept Divine Magic Movita quiet, exclusive for their higher ranking members, silencing anyone who left their cause one way or another. Divine Magic Meng had no such limitations, but due to its complexity and rarity, it lacked official recognition.
Louis held his palms up, about seven inches apart, and began with with 'En Imaru'. Not his best element, but the least likely to do damages to himself or the house if he screwed up. Mana within his meridians moved towards his hands in accordance to the Divine Magic, but his body resisted the mana movement, causing the to flow out to his palms in spurts.
Over the course of the next five minutes, a ball of water slowly coalesced between his palms. First a few droplets, growing at an increasingly faster pace as his body understood what its soul demanded, until a ball of water, the size of his fist, formed. Having completed the spell, exhaustion overcame Louis as his soul shuddered and everything went black.
҉҉҉
“Louis, get up!” “We know you’re in there!” Two voices shouted, banging on the door just softly enough that it did not immediately keel over. Louis jolted up, scanning the area for dangers, not only with his eyes but his mana as well. He failed to find anything. Namely because things were still dark and his detection items were gone - even in his last life. A sense of nakedness overcame him, a feeling he had not felt in a long, long time. One he actively avoided but his body did not share the same sentiment. Probably because it had yet to be burned and buried.
The moments Louis took to calm himself did not go unnoticed, as his sisters began shouting, “Open up or suffer!” and “Step back, we busting the door down!” And while there were better ways to be woken up, Louis was simply happy to hear their voices.
“Wait, wait, wait. Give me a second to get up. I was napping.” Louis said, standing up, about to open the door, when he realized that his shirt, pants and a good portion of his blankets were drenched.
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How in the world did this happen, Louis thought briefly until he remembered the botched Divine Magic. Louis retrieved a set of clothing, but he changed too slowly – halfway changing his pants, the door unlocked and two girls busted in.
Amelia had long white hair tied up in an elaborate set of buns. Blue eyes as glistened as deep as the oceans. She was the shorter of the two, with a lighter tan. Hefra was a few months older, taller. Red hair that reached her shoulders, brown eyes soft as amber. They both wore blue robes, for first or second circle mages, which were easily the most expensive things in the house.
Louis found himself speechless as he stared at the two. Amelia and Hefra both shrieked before bolting down the hallway screaming “Louis naked!” and “Pervert!”. Louis could not help but laugh.
A thousand years of attempts to find his two sisters and their first interaction was finding him naked. Well done, fate, Louis thought, well done.
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Everyone already seemed to be downstairs, dinner was not only ready but a feast. A whole piglet, rested at the center of the table, with at least six or seven dishes to complement it and a pot of rice. Nana had really gone all out this time around.
Amelia and Hefra sat at one end of the table, with Nana and mother on the other end. Mother's hair was dark as chestnuts, her eyes blood red. However, Louis was not quite sure if that was because her irises were that red, since it looked like she had been crying. Odd, Louis thought, for the amount of times he thought of Amelia and Hefra, mother was hardly ever included. She still looked young for her age, perhaps a few years older than him if someone did not know she was his mother. But her makeup could not quite hide the bags beneath her eyes nor the lines on her forehead.
What did happen to mother in his previous life? She died while he was in recovery, her death sharpening the wound created by Amelia’s and Hefra’s deaths. Louis shook his head. It was ill omen to dwell upon such negative thoughts.
Hefra’s parents sat together on one side of the table, between Nana and Hefra. They were a combination of opposites – Mecie, Hefra’s mother, was beautiful, quiet and submissive; while Hefra’s father, a man who spoke little, shouted a lot but was almost permanently drunk and angry. Not a man Louis missed.
Louis hardly sat down before mother asked, “So what is this I hear about perversion?”
“My clothes were wet and I had been in the middle of changing, when Amy and Hefra broke into my room and caught me with my pants down. I told them to wait, but they didn’t.” Louis said, sighing before turning to Amelia and Hefra. “How did you get in anyway? The door was locked.”
“Hey, I waited.” Amelia saluted.
“I lockpicked the door.” Hefra saluted.
“I see,” mother said, sighing. “Well, now that everyone is here, let’s begin our prayer.” She held out both hands, one to me and the other to Hefra’s dad. When everyone was holding hands, she began. “Xandra, we have gathered here today under your blessing. May the food we eat fuel to the fire of minds so we remain bright; the fire of our heart so we remain passionate; and the fire our of bodies, so we remain strong. May you watch over our small flames and give us strength when we need. In our prosperity, we host give you a feast. Aveti.”
So today is Xandra, Louis thought. Combined with the fact it was testing week, it meant the date was Gabrielle-Gabrielle-Xandra, the second day of the year. That meant his own tests were in three days. Probably should put opening his cores off until after that.
The meal itself passed uneventfully, thankfully, in small part because Nana sat farthest away from any the children. If Nana had her way, the entire piglet would have ended up on Louis’ plate, two fish on Amelia’s plate and some type of bird meat on Hefra’s plate. With enough rice and vegetables to hide the meat completely. Not that the distance stopped her attempts completely, as Louis still got a decent portion of the pig and had to eat it, since putting it back was disgraceful, not only to him but to Nana as well.
Sweet mixed with sour and savory, all overtaking different textures. His stomach craved it, but it most certainly was an odd sensation for him. As an archmage, he replaced most bodily function with meditation, absorbing mana to sustain himself rather than eating. Drinking beers was mostly as a relic of his past, calming his nerves. The drunkenness brought by alcohol was much easier to manage than a spiritual high by mana poisoning, after all.
Once the main meal was finished, dessert began family discussion, which soon devolved into gossip, finances and more - things that Louis probably should have known. Instead, he dangled tantalizingly on the brink of understanding. So he stayed quiet, listening but directing most of his attention to absorbing the mana around him.
“So, Louis, how do you think you will do on the affinity test this year?” Nana asked.
“The same as the years before.” Louis said. Perhaps once upon a time, he wanted to join the school, but now it would only limit his time and freedom.
“Awfully pessimistic.” Nana said. “What happened to the enthusiasm from before?”
“I became realistic.” Louis said. “Very few people suddenly awaken their talent, after all.” Or open their mana core on their own ability.
The conversation stilled for a moment before returning to gossip about children who passed the affinity test and their possible futures. Irrelevant, so Louis tuned that out as he began to open his meridians. He attuned mana to destruction, similar to the state it would be with Divine Magic Folgmar, and sent it into his meridians within his right hand. Like a bubble, it popped on contact with the foreign mana clogging his meridians, but costed far too much mana to be worthwhile.
Once dinner ended, night had fallen. Hefra used “En Uta” to create an orb of light as they moved to the bedrooms on the second floor. Before Louis retreated to his bed however, Amelia grabbed him. “What’s wrong? You were distant.” Amelia looked worried, holding onto Hefra’s hand as well.
“I hit my head earlier today and couldn’t understand what most of you were talking about, so I didn’t say anything.” Louis said. A bad excuse, given that if he truly hit his head that hard, there would be plenty of other problems to worry about. “But never mind that. What are your elemental affinities and what Divine Magics can you use?”
“Hefra got medium earth and fire affinities. And I got medium wind and water affinities. I can use the first level of my elements about five times a day and only once of the other four. Hefra can use her fire eight times, but only twice for her earth.” Amelia said. “You should already know that.”
Louis frowned. “So little?”
“It’s not little – we only started out with one for each of our main elements.” Hefra said.
Perhaps he needed to recalibrate his expectations. The Venti people came into the world with enough mana poisoning to kill any typical person. By the time they began training, they worried more about control than mana accumulation. Amelia and Hefra probably had more control since they had so little mana but could not practice as frequently. Louis would need to consult some textbooks before offering advice.
“That’s worthy of congratulations.” Louis said, grabbing the two into an embrace. “I’m off to bed.”
Although the journey to reach here was longer than expected, Louis, was in fact, able to finally see his sisters again as well as the rest of his family. Things will be fine this time around. After all, Louis was now an archmage, if only a bit impaired at the moment, and he knew of the accident that would happen in a mere two years.
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- In Serial20 Chapters
Sword System Academia
2/17 NOTICE: I'm putting this on hiatus, possibly permanently. I didn't want to spam with an "update chapter", so hopefully here and in the story blurb will get enough eyeballs. There are a couple reasons for ending SSA for now. 1) I wrote the next chapter but wasn't happy with it. I've been less and less satisfied with SSA's quality the more I thought about it. Part of the reason is... 2) I am seriously thinking about trying to publish some novels to help pay the bills, since I don't have my other source of income anymore. I have never asked for anything from SSA readers, no money, not even a review or rating. SSA is written for fun to amuse myself, primarily, and I would kind of feel bad actually charging someone money for something as unserious as that. I don't think it is good enough to ask anything in return. To use an analogy from music, SSA is more like a jam session with a bunch of friends. You're just chiling and having fun playing some music. I mean, if you are Mozart or even Eminem, your jam session is good enough to sell, but for an amateur beginner like myself, haha, no. If I want to publish something, I feel like I need to go the proper route of practice and rehearsals, which might be more similar to a classical concert performance. With SSA, I work from worldbuilding notes and a loose outline, but what you are essentially getting is the first draft with lots of so-called pantsing. Pushing out a web novel like this also means it is very difficult to go back and improve things without breaking everything else downstream. I wanted to try this "jamming" approach, as it was a good way to teach me about another aspect of writing, but to move forward, I think I need to hone my "classical" techniques, which emphasize rewriting, or at least, revising outlines. 3) While I intend to try to make $$$, my actual current goal is to "get gud". I've spent a lot of time recently trying to understand the self-publishing industry, and I'm pretty sure I can make some money by using short-term strategies with my current amateur skill level. But I've seen too many authors come and go/burnout, and really, the only way that I think I can enjoy writing and still make money on a long-term basis is to become a better writer. And the next step for me, which I haven't done much before, is to spend more time on rewriting and outlines. That is pretty much antithetical to the way SSA is developing. I've always been kind of 20/80 plotting/pantsing, but I want to spend a lot more time outlining before I even start writing. SSA jam sessions don't really fit my goal anymore. If you're curious about what's next, read on... Among other regrets, I regret not finishing SSA. It's the first story I've dropped, but then again, it's the first web novel I've attempted, so I suppose that's not a surprise. I don't think traditional web novel formats suit me that well. The whole SSA story I had loosely planned (beyond a first book or major arc) is way too large as well. Big story = good for neverending webnovel with Patreons, bad for penniless and fickle writer like me. I am currently outlining a complete trilogy to another story in great detail. I want the story to end concisely, and I also want the chance to really spend a lot of time on the full outline to spot pacing problems, character issues, lost themes, and so on. I'll still share this story on RR. What I intend to do is finish book 1, flash-publish the whole thing here for a few weeks, then publish on the big Zon. Repeat for books 2 and 3. The upcoming story will be about crafting heroes. The backdrop is an isekai-like setting, where elves will summon humans to their world as heroes, but the whole hero crafting business is still in its infancy. The elven mage researchers are figuring out how to imbue heroes with power, while the heroes are trying to figure out how to use the powers that they gain. Humans are the best hero templates because they are blank and have no intrinsic magic. Or at least that what the elves thought. The human MC has his own secrets... There will be some similarities with litrpgs, but I would call it more a progression fantasy or gamelit story. For example, the stats are very low, at least initially. Say we have a stat called Str. Going from Str = 1 to Str = 2 is a huge deal. Also, going from Dex = 0 to Dex = 1 is an even bigger deal. I guess you could call it a "low-stat litrpg", haha. Also, the heroes won't be gaining stats simply by killing things or leveling up. You can't increase stats arbitrarily, either. There will be rules to how stats can increase, and how they work with each other. The elven mages will be figuring out these rules in order to craft stronger and stronger heroes. Some inspiration will be from cultivation magic systems, but there won't be overt cultivation, at least for now. A theme I really want to explore is the idea of interactions. That includes things like hero crafter vs hero, tactics vs strategy, skill synergies, racial interactions (dwarves, elves, etc), and son. Yeah, so hero crafting. I'm super excited about this project and venturing into publishing. If you want to check out the upcoming story, you can follow my RR author profile to see when it drops here. Finally... THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! I'm very sorry that SSA is stopping, but I hope at least some of you will find the next story at least as enjoyable, if not more. Thanks to all the readers who gave SSA a shot. Big hug or solid fistbump to all of you, whichever you prefer! I hope this message is not a downer but an upper, because I am psyched!! -purlcray -------------- BLURB: Talen, youngest Master of the Koroi, makes his way to the Empire's capital to salvage his clan's fate. But the bustling city has few opportunities for the traditionalist. For the old sword clans are fading. With the rise of alchemy, gold can purchase strength that ordinarily took years of training to cultivate. Sword artists, once rare and accomplished, are quickly growing in number, especially among the wealthy noble class. Even with such alchemy, though, no one has advanced to the rank of Grandmaster in countless years. Talen's true dream is to walk the path of a sword artist to the very end while fulfilling his clan duties. And then the Swordgeists return, fabled founders of all sword arts, gods who had touched the world long ago and vanished. These myths turned into reality warn of a coming threat. Alongside this warning, they issue an invitation to the Sword System Academy, a path to power beyond the mortal realm. But first, they will hold an entrance exam... Story notes:Sword System Academia blends elements of western and asian fantasy such as xianxia and litrpg. I took parts from different genres I enjoyed and twisted them into my own creation. There will be an explicit system, both of the litrpg kind and the hard(ish) magic kind, but it is embedded within an academic structure that will develop over the course of the story. This is my attempt to design a unique type of system, the System Academia.
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Be careful what you wish for. Jade has spent her life fighting boredom in the terminally ill ward by surfing the net and envying the ability and energy of others to go out and live. So when she wakes up with a weak, but healthy body in a magical world with blue game-like system notifications filling her vision, she'll have to adapt quickly in order to survive. Thankfully, she has a bit of luck and an ability that will let her reach for the stars. This is Andara, where her adventure finally truly begins. Author's Note: This is my raw, unedited text. In order to comply with my contract, book 1 has been taken down from RR except for the beginning, unedited preview chapters at this point. The edited book 1 is on Amazon! Thanks for your support!
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Saga of the Jewels VOLUME ONE COMPLETE
Prefer to listen to rather than read Saga of the Jewels? I'm also releasing it as a free audibook serial podcast on iTunes here! Epic YA JRPG-influenced GameLit progression ensemble-cast steampunk romance fantasy! When Ryn’s hometown is destroyed, will he be able to gather together the twelve Primeval Jewels in order to defeat the evil Emperor and save the world of Mid? A fan novelization of an amazing Final Fantasy game that doesn’t actually exist, that currently releases at least one chapter a month. Epic in that this will be very long. “It’s a marathon, not a sprint!” (-Kandaj) YA in that this should be enjoyable to~13-year-olds and upwards. Some gore, some swearing, some sex, but nothing more than PG-13. JRPG-influenced / GameLit in that it uses lots of JRPG tropes, particularly from Final Fantasy. I’ve read a lot of fan Final Fantasy novelisations and you can basically think of this as a fan novelisation of its own Final Fantasy game that doesn’t actually exist as a game... Progression in that the characters level up over time (though not with visible litrpg stat boxes). They grow in ability through training and experience, gain new skills, individually and as a party (think Chrono Trigger) and spend time discussing and stratgeising about how to defeat their opponents. Main protagonist from book three would definitely be able to defeat himself from book one! Ensemble-cast because we've got quite the roster of misfits here. The first volume is all from the main protagonist's POV, but it starts dancing between his and different POVs thereafter. Steampunk in that we’ve also got airships, steam trains, pistols and ambiguous ‘amber bars’ that function a bit like artificial lights… Romance in that there is lots of shipping here, a few love triangles, and you may be kept guessing as to who will actually end up together... Fantasy in that we’re in a vaguely pre-modern setting. We’ve got swords, magic, dragons, dungeons, monsters, all that good stuff. * "This story captures that Final Fantasy quality perfectly. Kiddy but also grim. The characters are great... Severely underrated and needs more favorites/follows. I look forward to seeing how this story will unfold." -Gilgamesh9999 "Starting at the end and jumping backwards is not a writing style seen every day. I'll admit, I was a bit skeptical at first, but you've executed a fairly crazy idea very skillfully so far. Overall, a strong start to what could be a very strong story." -RandomFF.netUser "You definitely have my interest piqued. It'll be interesting to see where the story goes... It definitely has an 'old school Final Fantasy' type feel to it, which I appreciate...Good job! I am glad you are going into more details about the story you laid out in the prologue...of course the big burning question is 'You know they lose in the the first chapter, so how will they end up winning?' That of course, is the story you're writing...so we'll see how it goes! #Following." -KyleQuicksilver (quotes are from reviews on other sites) * If you enjoy it, don’t forget to boost Saga of the Jewels on topwebfiction.com! [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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Madara/kaguya's won the 4th ninja war. Naruto sacrifices himself and sends sakura back to past.----------------------------------------------------------#1 in inosai (3rd July 2020)#1 in bijuu (2nd Feb 2020)#2 in teamseven (11th July 2020)#1 in madara (21st September 2020)#2 in sasusaku (22nd Dec 2020)#2 in sakura (9th Jan 2021)#4 in strong-female-character (9/1/21)#3 in kurama (1st April 2022)
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