By elven standards, I was but a child when Teldarion had been defeated and even by human standards, I would have been a young man, in the threshold between childhood and adult life. I wonder if anyone but the other elves who shared a generation with me could sympathize with the shock that came with the change of one's entire worldview.

Even if I know how wrong it is, I don't think members of any other race ever tried to understand the meaning that Teldarion had for the people of Imaria. Even if a terrible price was paid for it, he did break the chain that kept elves from pursuing their destiny of greatness, he cleansed our decadence, until he was defeated at least. No. I can't think like that, going that way will lead me to terrible places. Even if it had been so long ago, at least by human standards, I can still feel the pull of the education I received before the Tyrant had been defeated.

My parents had been fairly prestigious members of the war-machine Teldarion had turned the Elven Kingdom into. Even if he called it a republic, the greatest apologist of him would have to admit that it worked too differently from the city-states of the south, most of which considered themselves republics. Then again, to Teldarion that would merely be another fact pointing to the exceptional character of elves. Anyway, with their high-station, it was obvious that they would expect me to serve their master with equal fervor and ability. Therefore, from a young age I received stellar education, including by enslaved gnome scholars. However, combat ability and loyalty to the Great Sage, Teldarion, was prioritized above all.

After Teldarion was killed, everything changed. With little more more than show trials, almost the entirety of the elven ruling class under Teldarion was executed and both my parents were no exception. Of course, the leaders of the alliance that purported to be fighting against oppression could not justify the killing of a blameless child like me, even if by that time I had already been somewhat indoctrinated. Thus, in an act of mercy, I was taken as a ward of the king of Meridia, to be freed of the terrible chains of the mind that had been placed upon me.

It had been elven arrogance, above all, that created Teldarion. There is no pride to be had in being part of a race of mass-murderers and torturers. I must live and bear the sin, working to atone for the mistakes of those that came before me. I am not to seek comfort or happiness. This, among other such delightful concepts were heavily impressed on me from the moment that I arrived in Meridia. I still remember that day, more than a hundred years ago. I was brought in a carriage full of bars and magical wards, like a very dangerous criminal or monster would be transported. Of course, at that time there was no way I would have resisted. I still hadn't recovered from the shock of learning that Teldarion was dead. How had it been possible? He had promised to take Elves into eternal bliss, and the Great Sage never lied, or at least that's how I had been educated until then.

In chains, I was told to choose by the king of Meridia and a newly formed council of nobles. I still remember how I snarled then. A room of humans was bad enough for the arrogant child that I was, but the king of Meridia, in a move of desperation that ultimately paid off marvelously, had decided to integrate orcs into the nobility in exchange for military assistance. I still remember the beating I took for railing against being judged by orcs, of all things. Eventually, I chose service, of course. Nobody wants to be useless garbage, and after a few months of solitary confinement, even I started to understand who really held the power.

As my concept of the world, of a noble, enlightened and strong elven race, was ground into dust. I desperately tried to forge something resembling a decent identity for myself. My ancestors had made great mistakes, and it was up to me to correct them. I started telling myself, and still do, that I serve in order to obtain atonement and forgiveness.

Just as I calmed my spirit, thinking of the past, my target showed himself. I can barely remember his name, but I know his face very well. What his crimes are is not something that I need to know. I only need to know that he transgresses the laws of the realm, but through cowardly actions he avoids the king's justice of the light. Thus, it falls on a creature of darkness, such as me, to punish him rightly.

As I silently jump from the ceiling to the ground, my target has no idea of my approach. That is only obvious, one of the unique talents elves have is the manipulation of our presence. In extreme cases, it can be used by those like Teldarion, who even his enemies admit could make most people fall on their knees in fear or adoration by his mere presence. It can also be used by those such as me in order to become some of the most efficient assassins there can be. With the cold ruthlessness that is only natural to my race, I plunge the dagger deep into the man's throat and grab his mouth to make sure he doesn't scream. He briefly struggles, but the dagger I hold is a magical item, capable of drinking the blood of its victims and killing them from blood-loss way faster than any regular dagger could.

As easily as I entered the home, I exit it. Even though I do not want to, I now head to the Royal Knights' Brotherhood headquarters, where I will secretly report my success to the Knight of Shadows, the man responsible for supervising those such as me. He is a cruel man and even though he works in the shadows, I don't think he likes it very much. He is a member of one of the very few remaining high ranked noble families from before Teldarion and I think he believes that working with those such as me is beneath him. Is he truly wrong? But I still do not enjoy being mistreated despite my unmarred record of service.

As asked of me, upon arriving in his office, I silently leave my dagger in the middle of the room and head to a shadowed corner of the room and kneel down, with my head lowered. I then reveal my presence and speak softly.

“Master Elias Garriwich, I have come back after fulfilling my mission. None but the target received a single injury.”

The man with a bored expression, checking and signing papers smiled slightly at my report.

“Ah, is that so. Good, the king will be pleased to know that another criminal has met his end. Still.” As always, he stood up, wordlessly put on gauntlet in his two hands and walked slowly in my direction, until he was right in front of me. I do not resist as he pulls my chin up with a hand, then slaps my face twice with the back of his hands. As always, it stings. “You know why you have been struck, even though you have followed your orders flawlessly, don't you?”

Ever since he became Knight of Shadows, this has been a ritual every time I succeeded in a mission, so I already knew very well the answer that was expected from me. Pain was quite a good teacher.

“Even though I was ordered to, I am but a filthy elf that have dirtied my hands with human blood and took a human life. It is a mercy that I am let off with such a light punishment. Please, forgive my crime Master Garriwich.”

Thinking back on it, it isn't that different from how I was educated to act with superiors back when I was still a child living in Imaria. The knight was satisfied with it and did not strike me any further.

“Good, it's good of beasts like you to know their place. You can go now. But remember, if you step one tow out of line, you will get killed like the monster you are.”

He offhandedly throws a few bronze and silver coins on the floor. I silently retrieve them, nod and leave the room. I find that I am actually quite hungry and thirsty. I usually wait for the dawn and buy groceries as the market opens, but today I cannot resist my urges and head to a tavern.

Covering almost the entirety of one's body was not exactly comfortable, but I did not see any other option when walking about in the capital's streets. While the most easily recognizable features of an elf were the pointed ears, an elf's face and general body type were quite different from a human's. So even if it was not a certainty, going about even just showing my face or general body silhouette might bring me no end of trouble.

Arriving at the tavern, I quietly pay for a meal and a mug of ale and look for a corner where I can eat in peace. After savoring the chicken, I realize that there is a commotion in one of the parts of the tavern. Driven by curiosity, I head there with mug in hand. Whistles and jeers assault my ears.

“Come on, come on! It's not like the human waitresses aren't asked to do this once in a while. Or do you think you're just too good to dance for us, eh?”

It didn't take long for me to grasp the situation. Two drunken patrons, egged on by a third drunken patron was pushing an elf-woman onto the stage to dance. As for her, she looked partly embarrassed, partly terrified. It was no wonder, the man egging on the situation was clearly a high-ranking knight, just raising drunken hell with his subordinates. What an unlucky woman. That guy probably never frequented taverns of this level, but still high ranking knights were encouraged to once in a while party with their subordinates.

“I... I can't... I don't know how to dance.”

But of course, such a weak argument can't possibly stop the drunken rampaging knight.

“Bullshit! I pressed the good master him and asked real nice, he said you were a priestess back in elf-land. Everyone knows there's this fancy dance that only the elven priestesses know. I've always wanted to see it.”

As terrified and as pale as she looked, the elf's face got even worse as the drunken knight dropped those words on her. As for me, it really annoyed me. If you're a noble at the very least act like it, piece of garbage.

“No... It's sacred. To perform it in such a place... I couldn't possibly.”

For a moment, it seemed like he would threaten her. But after a pause he grunted then laughed.

“Bah, fine! Just shake your ass or something then, it's not like that ass is sacred or anything, right? Do it!”

Compelled by something, not sure what, before he could really set the mood and force her to humiliate herself that much, I found myself standing next to the drunken knight and stared right into him, my face now uncovered.

“Sir, it worries me that you might be too drunk.”

Even drunk, a knight is a knight, and I'm sure he could clearly feel my intention of killing him if he did not stop this whole thing. Again, being a knight, he quickly realized that there was no way he could go against me.

“Oh, you're right. The missus really gets angry when I party too much like that. Thanks. Let's go boys.”

With that, the situation was completely defused. Before anyone else realized what was going on, I exited the Tavern, heart beating furiously. Why had I done what I did? That was stupid, there was no way this incident won't reach the ears of the Knight of Shadows, and then, what is going to happen to me? All of that just to help some woman who I didn't know and wasn't even in physical danger or anything. How stupid. Was this the last curse left on me by that damned Teldarion? Before I could properly assess things, I found myself helping preserve another elf's dignity, even if I had none of my own.

Then again. Would I ever be forgiven for having been born an elf in Imaria? It's been more than a hundred years since I started working as an agent for the king, well, actually, the king's ancestor. In this time I have received no recognition for my deeds let alone forgiveness for the sins of my parents, even in private. Is it really okay to keep being a killing machine. Part of me tells me that it suits a filthy elf like me very much, but another part of me, the part that just made me do something incredibly stupid, does not want to accept such a thing. If you step one toe out of line... I have no reason to doubt the Knight of Shadow's words. I might very well be executed in the morning if I just go back to my sleeping quarters. In this case... Perhaps it's time for the beast to return to the wild. And perhaps discover if it can be anything else but a beast.