Einstein may have been a genius, but she wasn't very smart. When she was younger, she stared directly at the sun until she blinded herself. Scientist medical technology was advanced enough that she was able to get a replacement pair of eyes for her irreversibly damaged old ones. This fond memory served as the inspiration on the design of the xX_fishkilla_Xx's xX_scientistkilla_Xx's weapon system. The ship's AI was built to reduce the required crew down to only 3, thus allowing more space to be allotted to laser power cells. Some might think this to be overkill but you had to remember that the intended targets were magical fish, the foremost threat to universal science. Better to be over prepared than dead.

Deep within the void of uncomfortable space, a new sun was born. The darkness lit up as streams of laser light shot forth in every direction. The mad genius's ship became a disco ball of death as it tore through the flesh, bones, and shells of the incoming horde.

The devastation only lasted 12 seconds before the batteries completely drained and the ship went dark again. The only light provided came from the burned remains the light show had created. The fusion power core inside the ship pumped energy as fast as it could to the power cells and their gauges began to steadily refill again. Three long minutes later, the ship lit up once more, delivering a second wave of fiery death to the incoming horde.

Monsters died in droves, burning and tearing apart, but others always took their place. The enemy seemed endless. Mountains of meat and blood from the fallen continued their momentum forward through space, with living monsters hidden among them. A surprisingly large amount of the dead had corrosive, acid blood, or exploded into a hail of jagged bone spikes upon death. This meant that after the second payload had run its course, it was time for the ship to move.

As the engine's fired up, sprinklers began spraying foam down into the rooms of the ship filling entirely. The foam thickened and became impossible to move in but allowed oxygen to pass through unhindered. The foam's purpose was to hold everything in place as the ship bolted into motion. The occupants experienced heavy g-force as the ship began dodging and weaving through the dangers. Lasers still fired off regularly, but they were more targeted now, aiming at more immediate threats. The hoard was upon them now. The ship spun and evaded but couldn't avoid damage entirely. Claw's scraped against the hull; acid splashed. The ship was forced to detach and jettison a section of itself to free itself from a swarm of human sized locusts with razor sharp, pincer jaws. But still it fought on.

Two days passed before enemies stopped coming. An ocean of corpses spread out in every direction. The ship slowed to a standstill, severely damaged but victorious. A dissolving agent sprayed down and freed the passengers. They dropped to the floor severely weak and dehydrated but most importantly, alive.

"THAT WAS FUN!" the Captain announced.

"Damn, that's no fun. They survived." Said divination Fish.

"Awwwww!" Whined the others

In front of a stadium crowd, an eye-catching man and woman stood, addressing the excited audience. Cameras surrounded the stage and centred in upon the passionate speech taking place, broadcasting the event globally.

The leader of the 'New wolf Association' (N.W.A), Roy 'the Patriarch' Bartos was a master of inspiring jealousy among the masses. After his organisation's reconstruction, the new wolf society became a major financial and political driving force behind world-wide humanitarian efforts and technological promotion. The group's primary goal: lead mankind into a new era.

In usual circumstances, this may have seemed like a noble, yet unrealistic goal. Had it not been for their partnership with the 'world-wide unification technology advancement non-profit group' (W.U-T.A.N.G.)

"That's right Roy, we're now standing on the dawn of a new era. It's Time to throw away old prejudices and look upwards!"

WU-TANG's leader had just as much penchant for the theatrical as her male counterpart. 'Madame' Wanda Moore was a theological scientist major, but her cutting edge research institute had a diverse range of speciality fields. They had made waves globally with their advancements in ecological engineering, medical science, and Astrophysics. They had single handedly eradicated world hunger and animal cruelty with their revolutionary chicken trees. A high yield, easy to grow anywhere tree that produced large fruits with the flavour, texture, and nutritional value of juicy chicken. All without asking for a single penny in return.

The two organisation's had come together to make an announcement that would change history.

"We are pleased to announce that the wait is over!" Beamed Madame Wanda.

They raised their hands toward the back of the stage as a curtain fell down to reveal what hid behind.

They spoke in unison, "We present to you, humanity's first intergalactic spacecraft!"

World Fish put the shattered remnants of Siren back together. He buried the ruins of the Scientist's army within so as not to disturb any space flight to and from the planet.

Kinetic Fish set it into orbit in a nice temperature zone.

Gas Starfish stole an ozone from another solar system and transferred it over, then made the air fresh and breathable. Ideal for life to flourish.

Teleport Fish pumped in oceans worth of water via portals.

Vegetable Fish covered the world in plants.

DNA Jellyfish developed birds, animals and mundane fish. Custom made weak-souled life forms that would prosper and thrive.

Metal fish created an ecto-plasmimite net around the entire planet. It was wide enough to allow sunlight through yet narrow enough to hold soul buildup within. Metal Fish could open and close holes to let ships in without losing much soul pressure.

Laser Fish was on standby to ensure that no ships ever got out.

And finally, Destiny Fish and Telepathy Fish combined their powers to send a telepathic beacon out into the stars. Sentient life everywhere would feel the call to come find their destiny on the tropical paradise planet 'New siren'

Tomas followed Fred down the hallway to the holding cells. He had not yet been able to procure a loincloth or anything to cover himself unfortunately. They stepped around large fleshy patches in the floor and walls. The constant battle in uncomfortable space meant damage continued to build up. The xX_scientistkilla_Xx was equipped with specialised repair drones that could mine materials from outside the ship and bring them back to repair it. In the absence of metal in uncomfortable space the ship had improvised. Now uncomfortable space was just that little bit more uncomfortable as their surroundings slowly were replaced with harvested body parts.

They reached the cells and Fred told Tomas, "They're waiting for you in there, go ahead."

"You still haven't told me what this is about. Aren't you coming in too?" Tomas complained.

"You'll find out soon enough. I'm leaving, I want no part of this." Fred replied curtly and turned to walk off.

Tomas cautiously entered the cell block. Wally and the Matriarch were waiting inside looking serious.

"H..hi guys. What's going on?" Tomas asked nervously.

Nobody spoke, the mood was heavy.

The AIs voice finally broke the silence, "WILL YOU TELL HIM OR SHALL I?!"

The Matriarch shook her head.

"I'm just here to watch." Said Wally.

"SO BE IT. TOMAS, YOU KNOW OF MY REQUIREMENTS TO DELIVER YOU SAFELY FROM UNCOMFORTABLE SPACE?"

"Um... Yes?"

"AN UNEXPECTED PROBLEM HAS COME UP. AFTER DETERMINING THE DIRECTION OF COMFORTABLE SPACE, I HAVE DEDUCED THAT THE TIME REQUIRED TO REACH OUR DESTINATION EXCEEDS THAT OF YOUR LIFESPANS."

"Oh.... Jeez.... is there nothing that can be done?"

"THERE IS. I CAN SAVE ONE PASSENGER. SPECIFICALLY, YOU OR YOUR MOTHER. SHE HAS TOLD ME THAT WHEN ONE OF YOUR KIND EATS ONE OF ITS OWN, YOUR LIFESPAN INCREASED SEVERAL FOLD. YOUR MOTHER IS ALREADY CENTURIES OLD."

"Uhh. I don't like where this is going." Complained Tomas.

"IN A MOMENT OF EMOTIONAL WEAKNESS THAT IS SO COMMON WITH YOU FLESHY TYPES YOUR MOTHER HAS AGREED TO BE EATEN BY YOU."

Wally raised an eyebrow, and looked at a fleshy patch in the wall where a hole had been repaired.

"What, eat her? No. There's gotta be another way."

"THERE IS NOT."

"Mate, Don't look a gift wolf in the mouth. Do it. I'm glad one of us can get out of this bunged up situation. Just promise you won't forget about us, yeah?" Wally encouraged, solemnly.

"I can't.. this is too much."

"Please live, Tomas." The Matriarch whispered, offering up her forearm.

"C'mon it doesn't have to be right now does it?! We can still enjoy a few more years together can't we."

"You think you can do it then?" Wally's voice was cold. "After you've had time to rekindle your family bond? Rip the band-aid off now while the memory of her trying to eat you is still fresh. Do it Tomas.

"DO IT TOMAS"

"Tomas please."

"O..ok fine, I'll do it." Tomas said and walked over to the Matriarch and took hold of her arm. "This is so messed up. Matriarch... I mean mother. Thank you so much for your sacrifice. I'll never forget you."

"I love you, Son."

Tomas raised the arm to his mouth. The fur was a bit dirty but after weeks of living in uncomfortable space, Tomas had eaten worse. He bit the arm.

A foul taste entered his mouth. The foulest taste he had ever experienced. He immediately jerked back retching. He dropped to his hands and knees and started vomiting his guts out over the floor. He hadn't even broken through the skin.

Wally, the Matriarch, and the AI, all burst into hysteric laughter.

"HAHAHAHA HOLY MOLY!! THE LITTLE OCTOPUS PUP ACTUALLY DID IT!! AHAHHAHAHA!" Wally wheezed from laughter

Fred stumbled into the room laughing so hard his face was turning yellow. "Please tell me you have the recording!"

"YES, I WILL REPLAY IT NOW HAHAHAHAHA!" The AI replied and lowered a screen into the room that slow motioned Tomas' face as it turned from conviction to disgust to sickness.

Even the Matriarch cackled like a hyena as she tried to wipe her arm clean.

Tomas stopped spewing long enough to look up at the group with a hurt expression, "what in the actual hell was that?'

The group burst into laughter again. Finally the AI regained composure enough to explain, 'THE DRONES EXTRACTED SOME OF THE MOST DISGUSTING, YET NON-HARMFUL GOOP SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE FROM A WET GORILLA LOOKING MONSTER THE OTHER DAY. WE ALL CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN TOGETHER ON HOW TO BEST USE IT. THE MATRIARCH EVEN VOLUNTEERED TO PUT THE GOOP ON HER ARM. IT WAS PERFECT LET'S WATCH THE REPLAY AGAIN HAHAHAHA."

"So you all got together, smeared gorilla goop on my mother, psychologically manipulated me into believing I had to eat someone in order to survive, just to make a video of me spewing?!? Guys don't you see how wrong that is?!? Something is seriously wrong here!"

The group was laughing again. A little less rambunctiously now. Except for the AI it laughed twice as hard.

"HAHAHAHA YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT! AND YOU MENTIONED SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO BRING UP. YOU ARE ALL SUFFERING FROM SPACE INSANITY BECAUSE OF CONSTANT UNCOMFORTABLENESS AND STRESS."

The laughter died down and stopped.

"WHAT I SAID EARLIER ABOUT THE TRIP TAKING LONGER THAN YOUR LIFESPANS IS TRUE. SCIENTISTS HAVE CRYO-FREEZING STASIS TANKS BUT THERE ARE NONE ON THIS SHIP AND THEY ARE AN IMPERFECT SOLUTION. LUCKILY I HAVE CREATED THE PERFECT SOLUTION."

The walls in one of the cells tumbled to the ground with a loud clang. Behind it a wall of meat. Multiple pink and red umbilical cords attached to four large flesh cocoons embedded into the wall. The whole wall pulsated slightly, there were sphincters at the bottom of the cocoons to enter.

"THESE ARE BIO-SUSPENSION STASIS PODS. ENTER AND YOU WILL BE PUT ASLEEP FOR THE REST OF THE JOURNEY. THE PODS WILL CONTROL YOUR BODY ON A CELLULAR LEVEL AND PREVENT AGEING."

"This is another prank, isn't it?" Said Tomas. "We crawl in there and get stuck in a tank that smells of farts."

"NO, DAMN, I WISH I HAD THOUGHT OF THAT, I COULD HAVE CREATED A FAKE SET OF COCOONS! DAMN DAMN DAMN!"

"Well whatever, I've been in worse holes." Wally said as he walked up to a cocoon and started wriggling himself inside. Fred and the Matriarch followed suit.

Tomas asked "can I get a glass of water or something before I go in to wash the spew out of my mouth?"

"NO."

Tomas whined and slid into his cocoon and that's where they all stayed for the next 2000 years.

Love at first sight is a powerful feeling. Ask Destiny Fish about the first time he laid eyes on the Goddess of Creation, or ask Wally about when he first laid eyes on Wanda, or ask Wanda about the time she first laid eyes on Ricky, or asked Galganax, the skin melter, about the first time it laid eyes on the xX_scientistkilla_Xx S.S. Happiness Tugboat.

It was an angel of death. The perfect killing machine. IT was made up of a mismatched patchwork of the greatest evil uncomfortable space had to offer. Its sinuous body curved into the deadliest claws and teeth Galganax ever saw. The dozens of wings that sprouted from it were all lined with so many laser crystals all pierced out through the leathery flesh. And the lasers, oh those lasers. Galganax would consume the universe for those lasers.

Screams and shrieks were not necessary. They both knew what to do. Galganax flew out to meet this beautiful horror in glorious slaughter. Galganax was swiftly sliced to ribbons by laser fire. It couldn't have asked for a happier ending.

The S.S. Happiness Tugboat continued on its way, the stars of comfortable space now visible in the distance. It's destination, only mere weeks away.

"We're almost home, my sweeties 🎵"