Huh, I could have sworn this is what they call being grounded. But just not this literal…

Looking around with my eyes, the yellow sand surround my head is all I can see. Clearly the ground is quite a bit closer to my face, that’s with subtracting the height that I had already lost… I think.

Oddly enough my memory is magical in the most random of ways, all those animes and mangas are crystal clear, but my past? Phessh, I can’t even remember what kind of person I was. My appearance is just empty shapes at best, I can’t even tell if I was short, tall, fat, or thin.

Strange, but I’ve seen enough of this scenario to take it in stride, it’s not that uncommon after all.

Well at least not in animes and mangas.

“Alright! Boy, try to get out!” A rough looking man covered in hair is staring right at me.

I had to tilt my head until the back of my head touches the ground a few centimeters underneath it to stare back at his face.

It wasn’t a great face, it has that touch of asian, just someone felt the need to rearrange it so they slid a knife along his face. His long shaggy black hair didn’t really help his looks either. He kind of reminds me of some of those typical one-time villains with the black eyes + weird hair combo. His bulky muscular body only added to the “Look I’m a gangster” appearance. Those rags he calls clothing… well lets just say he looks like a gang member who just lost a turf war.

I can only blink my eyes at him, considering that I am basically buried from the neck down in the hardened yellow sand…

Yea, I’m not moving anywhere anytime soon.

I really can’t understand how I get myself into these situations…

It was only just a few minutes ago that I was hanging out in that open field place! But now I’m in some kind of weird Roman coliseum, being lectured at by some middle-aged weirdo dressed like some hobo as he walked in circles around me.

Maybe if I just look innocently at him long enough he’ll let me out…

----------------

A “few minutes ago”

I was being interrogated by Grand Elder LifeCentipede as my feet dangled in the air, of course being held like this does have a few benefits…

If you ignore the lack of oxygen that is.

“Now then little one why don’t you stop struggling and show me where your parents placed that limiter? I’m quite curious about a treasure that can fool even my senses.” Her calm voice was somewhat muffled through the layers of… blubber, as I fought to take in a bit more air from the atmosphere. I could feel her fingers poking various parts of my body, seeming to look for something.

Look lady, I know by normal standards you’re hot… kinda. But a MILF and a kid never get a happy ending.

Which is true most of the times, excluding certain 18+ reading not suited for my current age… which I too can remember crystal clearly for some reason.

Despite these suffocating circumstances, I can still faintly feel something raising up from my lower half…

WTF? And here I thought I was like a year old… when did that part start responding to stimulus?

Professor Bun-Bun then bit the closest thing to its head.

*CRACK*

I can faintly recall hearing someone speaking, just far away in the distance, “Oh dear… I accidentally put a bit too much strength there. Give me a second; I’ll fix you right up.”

The last thing I can remember seeing is the same girl I beat up staring at me with her bright blue eyes. Such a pretty color, just like her hair…

Strange how I never noticed it while I was fighting her.

How odd.

-------------------------

Present

Yeah… I’m still not exactly sure how I ended up here. Weird. You’d think waking up buried from the neck down would be uncomfortable. But strangely enough I have to say that this is actually really comfy.

“Come on lad! You can do it! Pull yourself out! GO! GO!”

The hobo-looking man turned into what looked like a gigantic prehistoric alligators before seeming to realize the fact and reassuming human form. Then he calmly returned back to cheering me on.

Or was it a crocodile? I could never tell the two apart…

I have to say, the mages here really went all out in the druid department… well the monster version of it anyways. They seem to be all capable to turning into a human!

Still I can’t really see the point to this…

Druids turn into beasts to gain strength, speed, stamina, ect. But a monster turning into a human? What does that accomplish?

The only thing I can think of is that they are trying to decrease their stats for... reasons?

Probably some bizarre cultural practices, like that handshake thingy. Huh that reminds me, where did Mr.Bee-Bee go?

I pondered this as the hobo continued to holler at me, occasionally turning into a giant alligator before turning back.

After a few more minutes of this, he seemed to have figured out that I wasn’t planning on getting out of this sand burial anytime soon.

He let out a sigh before walking directly in front of my face.

His feet is surprising clean for someone without shoes on and walking on a sandy place.

Crouching down, the hobo spoke like a normal person for the first time. “Hey lad, I’m trying to help you out here. Just try putting in some effort from your side will you?”

“Umm, can I ask a question? Exactly what are you expecting me to do?”

At this point I still don’t really understand the whole business of being buried, but what is with this hobo? Is he expecting me to burst out of the ground like some kind of weird bug or something?

He looks rather surprised at my question, “What do you mean? I thought it was obvious, I was told that you have some kind of strange limiter. However Grand Elder LifeCentipede can’t seem to find it, so she wanted to see the instant you release it.”

He pointed at a location in the viewing area of this weird arena; there was what looks like a crystal ball sitting on one of the seats.

So, I’m gonna assume that’s some kind of camera that can record? Man, it’s not that big for something made in this fantasy world.

Makes me think of a certain thing that you can do with cameras…

“Hey, um… Mr.Hobo, can I have like a few dozens of those things? I, um, wanna record the scenery?” I figured this name is passable to a child to say without getting beaten up anyways.

Although if this guy knows my real age, hehe, I bet I’ll be on the floor right about now. Pity not even I know my real age...

“Sorry lad, but what did you just call me?” The hobo-like man leaned down until his face was just a few inches from mine.

Interestingly, his teeth are white, like really white! And there doesn’t seem to be any crooked teeth either, they’re all perfectly neat and straight. No bad breathe to boot!

Now that I think about it…

Licking the inside of my mouth, and then cycling the air inside.

Its taste like clear water and smells like air…

Huh, must be magical logic or something. I don’t seem to have any weird skin either.

Could this place be… the place closest to anime and manga?

Do everyone here have perfectly clear skin and no bad breathe and teeth?

Adding in the no pooping part…

“Hey lad, you listening?” The hobo waved a hand in front of my face.

Whoops, my bad. Gotta stop zoning out.

Now then what is the best line to use here?

“Me sorry, what did Mr.Hobo say?” I made sure to tilt my head just slightly, like a kitty, and widen my eyes a much as possible.

Cuteness is a skill that all good intelligent people use to their advantage.

*BONK*

OUCH!

Tears came out of my eyes; this time there isn’t any acting. It was a pure instinctual reaction to blunt force trauma to my tiny little head.

Hey man! Watch it! What would I do if I forgot my name? Or more importantly, all the badass animes and such?

“Alright lad, let’s try that again. I am Elder EarthGator, understand? Now repeat after me, Earth, Gator, alright?” Mr.Hobo or Elder EarthGator held a fist above my head as he uses his other hand to indict for me to copy.

“Okay, Elder EarthGator.” Blinking away my tears, I let out the tension from my body that I subconsciously tighten when I saw the fist the size of my head.

Huh, did my mana pool increase? Is my minions nearby or something?

“Good lad, alright, it seems that today you’re not feeling it. I’ll give you a hand and get you out of there.”

Elder EarthGator touched the ground from his leaning position and a brown colored light flashed before diving into the sandy ground.

I could feel like thousands of tiny little hands pushing me up slowly from the ground, and in a few seconds I was out!

Though it is kinda cold out here…

Feeling odd, I looked down at myself.

Yeah, I thought so.

Turning to look at Elder EarthGator, “Um, Elder EarthGator, what happened to my silky blue clothing thingy?”

He doesn’t seem to have any reaction to me being in my birthday suit, or rather how come his rags weren’t ripped apart when he transforms?

He gives me a uninterested look, “Those things? They were turned into nothing when Grand Elder LifeCentipede healed you. Don’t worry about it too much, you’ll find a new set of clothing back at your lodging. I’ll bring you over there.”

He picked me up with one hand around my stomach before jumping headfirst at the ground.

Right as I was gonna start screaming for help from a lunatic thinking he’s some kind of worm or something, the ground literally parted for Elder EarthGator.

It was like he was some kind of magnet and the surrounding ground was the same charge.

Then it dawned to me…

He is a alligator of the earth element…

Which means - he is currently swimming.

Well now that mystery is solved gotta make some small talk, I just feel like I suck at those. Well gotta say something, anything…

“Hey, Elder EarthGator, are you related to Elder EarthStag? You guys basically share the same name and all.”

Ouch, hey man you hands are getting somewhat tight there.

The surrounding stopped moving as Elder EarthGator halted in place. Around us is total darkness illuminated only by the brown light that is creating the small area of empty space between us and the rest of the earth.

I’m starting to feel claustrophobic again…

“Hey lad, WHO did you say I was related to? I could have sworn you just called me a herbivore, you didn’t right? It must have been my bad hearing, maybe even my imagination. Otherwise I might show you why I pride myself as a member of the proud carnivores!”

Elder EarthGator’s eyes are scary! They’ve turned all red and shinning in the dim light. He looks like a drug addict with withdrawn!

Got to make him chill before I lose my goddamn mind in this cramped space, deep breathes, deep breathes. No need to panic, just say something good and he’ll be back on his way.

“Sorry Elder EarthGator, you must have been hearing things! HAHA, this place is really weird isn’t it, let’s get out fast before we all start hearing more weird things!” Trying to look as innocent as possible, I plastered a fake, yet realistic, smile on my face. Trying to hold back the trembling my body is getting from the adrenaline rush is also taxing on the mind.

Elder EarthGator gave one more humph, before returning back to floating/swimming through the ground like the way a certain religious person parted a certain sea.

Though this one isn’t made up and isn’t directed at those with weaker minds who couldn’t believe in themselves.

After what seemed like eternity, Elder EarthGator started ‘swimming’ upwards and then popped out of the ground.

The hole he made behind him closed the moment he was out.

Good thing too, I was starting to wonder if the ground was safe to build on if someone like him was tunneling all over the place.

The last thing I wanted would be to live an in house that collapses because one day someone like Elder EarthGator felt like tunneling under my home.

“There it is lad, your new home.” Elder EarthGator released his grip on my stomach and dropped me on the ground. His other hand was pointing at a... cave?

The cave in question is a hole situated inside a gigantic mountain; I could see many other holes that are drilled on the side of the mountain facing me. Clearly these holes likely belong to other people; hell the nearest hole to mine is just a few dozens meters away!

“Also if I hear anything like that, ‘hallucination’ again, you know what would happen right?” He gave me a glance that I read as “I’ll-eat-your-sorry-excuse-of-a-meal” look.

I vigorously nodded back at him.

“Alright then off you go.” Elder EarthGator gave me a wave before diving back into the ground.

Looking around, I was in some kind of thinning forest area, and the mountain is directly in front of me. It seems that whoever designed this built the lodging directly after the forest right inside the mountain.

Well, doesn’t seem to be anyone nearby to ask questions.

Looking at the sky I can see that it was already dipping beneath the horizon.

Man it was one hell of a day wasn’t it? I guess its time to check out my new home.

Well it’ll be my home until I find where my minions and Big Sissy went anyways, that or my new parents…

I quickly walked into the cave opening, inside was only a few items.

A small bag, almost like a pouch, and a mat.

That was it. I didn’t even have another room in my so-called “lodging”. You walk into the cave opening and after the entrance is a few meters of space… that’s the whole area.

“Okay, okay, This is alright. I’ll just see what we got here.”

Talking to myself to calm my agitation, I opened the string bound opening of the pouch and peered in.

All I can see is pitch black.

Weird.

I figured that they wouldn’t give a child anything dangerous so I reached my hands into the opening. Before I knew it, a few items that clearly shouldn’t be able to fit in the pouch flew out.

AHA! It must be some kind of space magical item! Not bad, not bad.

On the rocky ground are four items; a book, written in the language that I still can read, some clear small container holding a round marble? Several sets of clothing plus shoes sat in a pile, all in various shades of red for some reason, and lastly a black badge of some kind.

Figuring I should probably suit up first, I grabbed a random red robe from the pile and started dressing up.

After stuffing my little feet into the shoes I sat on the mat to check out the book.

Somehow, I could understand the book even though I couldn’t read jack crap of the actual language.

The book’s title is “Introduction to Cultivation”.

Somehow I felt offended; I am trying to become a mage! Not a god damn farmer!