I can already see the faces of my many cousins and distant relatives. These people tick me off. I can’t stand them. It is not strange for a couple to have ten children in their long lives as mages so I have quite a few cousins. Most of them I hardly know. Since I am member of the main family however, everyone knows me it seems. What a pain in the ass.

To be honest although my father isn't the oldest child he is now the family head. My Uncle Treyman, my father’s eldest brother, had his grimoire set ablaze while on a military expedition in one of the surrounding continents. The kingdom is always in a state of perpetual war with the nearby continents. During one of the pointless battles of conquest my uncle had his grimoire destroyed, along with a piece of his soul. He is now nothing more than a vegetable in a wheelchair. Since he was unable to inherit the position of family head and since he had yet to be married at the time the right went to my father.

My father said he was there at the battle that took his brother’s sanity but he doesn't like to go into detail. I brought it up once when I was younger and his face darkened, it’s the only time I have ever seen my father cry.

Speaking of my father he is currently welcoming the many people who have to pay their respects. He is donning a white cloak to signify the loss of his father, my perverted grandfather… this is too strange. I’m being overly serious. After that time in the dark I find myself sighing more than smashing my head into the ground… I don't know which is worse really…

Just in time to cheer me up some of my cousins come to say hello… I haven’t seen them in nearly a year… I wish it was longer. Shit.

“Hey Kyte I haven’t seen ya in awhile… who is this…” My cousin Garmeo walks up to me and slaps me on the back, I almost went flying… it’s not that he is strong he just has a lot of… mass. I look at the rolls of fat on his stomach and his greasy facial hair. He is sucking on a lollipop with a grimy smile… I hate him. When I was younger he would push me down and sit on me… ah there it is… my anger is back just thinking about it. Not to mention the lust in his eyes while looking at Flara… I want to gouge them out.

I answer plainly while gripping Flara’s hand tightly, “She is my fiancée.”

I think my words did nothing more than provoke him. Whatever, I have no intention to talk to him or the other relatives who are approaching… this isn't the time for this crap. I just want to pay my respects to my grandfather. I don't know why but I feel like I owe him, that’s the only reason I’m here. I drag Flara past Garmeo and move to take a seat before I start a scene at my grandfather’s funeral.

“Ah!” Flara shrieks and I notice Garmeo has his stubby fingers on her… I will kill him. I was preparing to throw off my cloak right there and tear out his insides but Flara tugs my sleeve and whispers into my ear, “He isn't worth it… so please… don’t kill again.” Damn. I don’t want to show her that side of myself again. I calm down and continue dragging Flara over to sit up front.

At the front of the massive temple hall was an altar. Atop that altar flowers are surrounding a painting my father probably commissioned from a magic painter. The picture is of my grandfather and shows his image turning from young to old then he turns with a smile as he hugs my grandmother and is engulfed in red flower petals that seem to turn to blood as he is suddenly surrounded by red. He waves goodbye and is consumed by that bloody background. The video is simply playing on repeat on that canvas… it kind of pisses me off yet brings a sense of calm, weird.

Flara is on my left and is waiting here with me for the funeral ceremony to begin. I look to my right and see my grandmother… I thought she would be crying her heart out but rather… she is smiling… it's creeping me out. She turns her head and winks at me and Flara. I can still remember her tied up in rope with drool flying out of her mouth… this is… ugh.

Wait, everyone is quieting down. Down one of the aisles between the makeshift pews, set up for this event, came my father who had been greeting everyone earlier. He is now standing in front the altar. He kneels down and grabs a candlestick that was placed before the painting on the altar and holds it in front of himself. Off to the side one of the temple monks, weird bald guys that I still don’t understand, commanded, “Please begin burning the candles in memory of the lost one.”

Everyone reaches beneath their seat and grabs a mana-burn candle. I don't know how these are made but I do know they are common in rituals and funerals and such. These candles, unlike a fire stone, have a small blue candle flame when one infuses mana into it and it also doesn’t burn anything. I put some mana into the mana-burn candle and watch the ethereal white-blue flame as it dances back and forth. This thing looks pretty cool…

I look over and see Flara is also staring at it with a hazy expression… weird. I look around and see that most of my closely related family members are staring at the altar. However, all those of a more distant relation or simply aren't related are in a trance. My grandmother is smiling… what the fuck is going on.

My father stands up and faces everyone in the room. He looks at me but he just turns away. I have no clue what is happening. Suddenly, everyone’s mana-burn candle flares up. Fuck that hurt my eyes. My grandmother has tears running down her cheek but she is still smiling. Everyone’s candles fade into blue smoke that hangs in the room… what the hell.

Everyone is slowly stirring from their trance but I still can’t comprehend what I just witnessed.

{CHAPTER END}

[NEXT TIME ON MAGIC IS OVERRATED...]

[Family Secrets Best Left in the Dark]

•—•—•—•

Well this chapter was rewritten and reworked in so many different fucking directions. I finally settled on this one.Sorry it is short but, oh boy you are in for a surprise. Also, I am almost two thirds of the way done typing up my submission for the November writing contest. You can read it and comment as it updates on the google doc here if you feel you want to give it a look. I will disable link sharing after I post the finished version on RRL. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :)

I thought it was getting a little too serious and since this was a short chapter I decided it was time for a poll. Please select your answer for the poll or post how you feel down below. I don't want to stray from the comedy too much (which I have been doing recently) since it adds some fun. However, I want to generate an overarching plot so whatever happens I guess we will see where this goes... :P