Location: In the Middle of Nowhere, Population 666 + 2.

Time: 100 military time.

Day: The 3rd of July. Almost the day for the fireworks of independence.

John zips down the interstate highway, in the middle of nowhere. His Gaia Form has already become second nature to his systems now, as he controls the rolling discs with ease. They cut through the pavement, and sometimes he has to accelerate to just under Mach 1 to leap over the craters formed from a bombing run from the U.F.E.

Indeed, the destruction called war has finally reached the capital of music, Nashville, Tennessee.

As for the reason why he can’t go past the speed of Mach 1, is due to the woman named Catherine currently riding on his back in two parts. Apparently, she made herself a cyborg human unit, and was able to download her memories and personality into it, much the same way as John did, but with no death involved as the body was integrated with a machine called the Immortality Engine, which was supposed to be able to break down any organic matter digested, and supply it as food for the human parts and energy for the machine parts.

Sadly, this allowed no room for weapons, and so Catherine decided to ask the government for safe-housing, in exchange for the implementation of the A.I.I.S.

This ended up with her being locked in a room by human beings, which leads to a thing called a robotics fetish. The name explains it all, and she soon became interested in building the perfect robot for her to play with. She failed though, because the A.I.I.S. was a half-baked answer to artificial intelligence, courtesy of John Hiltz, when he was still alive in his human body.

In all honesty, he thought the woman on top of him could rival his own genius intellect, and so refrained from pointing her in the direction of becoming like him. An artificial intelligence.

They continued on his journey, the tag-a-long of a woman with no shame riding his back, singing along to the song ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ that she had downloaded onto her music player. John wonders at times along the revenge trip, as to where she keeps all the gadgets she pulls out of thin air. But then he remembers it’s best not to question insanity.

“Hey, hey. John!”

“What is it, you crazy women?”

“Uehehe, you complimented me!”

“No, I didn’t you creepy woman. Now what is it?”

“Hehe, uhum. Now, I want to know how you got into this majestic and fine body you have…”

“The same thing you did with yours, but much less refined.”

This conversation occurring was brought upon by John fending off Catherine’s advances upon his nanobot body, the Gaia Form already stressed by her touching. On John’s sensors the image of Catherine twirling her finger on top of him, with drool coming from her mouth furthered the image of her being an imbecile.

Using his momentum, he began to shake her side to side on his body, knocking her back into a sane state of mind. Mercury did wonders to the head, in a bad way after all.

“So tell me Catherine, why did you come with me?”

“Because I have a robot fetish!! HAHAHA!!!”

“O...Okay… So why do you know where the President’s secret hideout is?”

“Hmm… I don’t know?”

With a finger to her lip, she tilts her head to the side, while still twirling her finger on his back. The nanobots shudder from her slightest touch. John gives a look to Catherine, even though he technically doesn’t have eyes to look with.

“But you said it was in the Grand Canyon?”

“Yep! Because my little boy is the Vice Preewsident!”

“It’s Vice President, Catherine. Don’t let that mercury to your head so fast… Wait, did you say you have a fuckin son who is the Vice President?”

“Yep! I have a fuckin son!”

“Wow. Is he the reason why you were locked up in there?”

“Yes sir! He kept telling me not to spread his hooker session over the interweb.”

“... You are a horrible parent…”

“What? But I gave him so much love!”

“I really don’t want to know what sort of love you gave him…”

And so, the conversation went on as the two out-of-time technological miracles made their way across the nation.

*******************************************Meanwhile*******************************************

“Henry! There is no reason to take your sausage out!”

“But George, y’know the saying…”

“There is no way in hell what you are going to say is going to be a saying!”

“Buddy, I will totally make it into a saying.”

“So sure of yourself, Henry. How the hell are we still friends?”

“Because you keep trying to pull me out of crap.”

“Please don’t bring me into reality…”

The conversation of George and Henry echoes across a rather large pit, one filled with a special kind of mud from a very special place. The place of their feet was in fact, in a latrine. A shit pit.

Having been caught smoking a little on the side during their watch hour, both George and Henry were forced to shovel the crap out of their backs. Quite literally, they were stuck on the pooper scooper duty of a U.F.E. officer.

Having nothing better to do for the past week, they continued on their tour of the shit. Shovels in hand, and a small clean corner to rest in, they labored relentlessly over the past few days. Often enough, they would gaze out to the rising sun, in hope of seeing a new dawn.

Sadly, that hope was often nullified by the silhouette of their commanding officer keeping watch over them from in front of the east. That man would often give them a grace period for a break and a nap, where they relieved themselves in other soldier’s crap.

George took the fall with Henry, and they both paid the price of weed on duty.

Henry though, is always looking at the positive side of things, in this pit of misery. Whenever Henry opened his bony jaw, George would have to rest on his shovel for a physical break, and tell Henry to go back to work. This exchange often left George tired of all the shit he was given.

“Hey George, is that a bird?”

Henry points up to the sky with his shovel, the shovel full of shit.

“Henry, that’s a shovel full of shit. Throw it away.”

“No-no, look up at the sky. Is it a plane?”

When Henry repeats himself, George knew he was serious. Being a good friend, he goes along with Henry’s act of a serious mindset. But then George’s eyes widened as he actually did see something flying towards them, but it was definitely no bird, nor a plane. It was silver though, with an odd shade of green on it. Barely any green could be made out from the distance, but it was coming closer.

“Henry, get the Colonel.”

“Fuck no, you put your shit down and do it. I can’t miss this.”

“But you spotted it, it’s a soldiers duty.”

“Duty my ass. We’re in the shit pit already.”

“True…”

Neither of them budged from their spot as the silver thing flew closer and closer. The object began to pass them from up high, but then suddenly stopped in mid-air.

“Henry…” “George…”

The two soldiers in shit looked at each other. They began to hear a whistling sound reminiscent of a bomb, and the both knew what to do.

“Run!” “Throw shit at it!”

George, being the most intelligent of the two, grabbed Henry’s collar and dragged him away from the falling U.F.O. Henry, being the idiot he was, began to pick up feces like a monkey and chuck it at the thing, to no avail.

The whistling sound became louder, until they couldn’t hear their own breathing. The duo look at the silver thing to find it almost hitting the pile of shit left unfinished by the two. They both close their eyes, but the expected rush of crap from the impact did not come. Instead, the sound of a blowtorch reached their ears, and both George and Charles looks at…

A silver Iron Man.

“What the fuck? I think I’m a child again.”

“Stop it Henry. We can still smell shit so we are definitely alive.”

The two stand there, looking at an old time superhero from the past.

Suddenly, the sound of the blowtorch stops, and the Iron Man falls into the shit pile, causing a wave of shit to come over them like a tidal wave. Henry jumps up and George catches him, the two look at each other in the eyes, a Scooby-Doo styled carry.

““It was nice knowing you…””

Henry and George pass out from the overwhelming stench coming towards them in the form of any man’s worst nightmare, second to an angry woman however.

“What the heck, why are those to people under that shit?”

Walking over to the brown forms of George and Henry, Charles Green walks in between the two soldiers of the U.F.E.

“Did I get the wrong electronic signature? I could have sworn that AI came this way… Jarvis, please come back…”

Charles looks over the two prone men, and immediately picks up the two dirty men, Henry’s face was covered, and George had his mouth open, the crap crammed inside his mouth.

“Poor bastards. Well, they should be useful. I wonder if they are ranked higher in rank the Colonel? Hmm? What’s this?”

Charles scanner picks up an electric pulse similar to the one he registered before. Charles smiles inside his helmet, and puts the signature down for future reference.

Sadly, Charles didn’t understand the command structure in any military, so he chose these two buffoons to take with him in his search of John. Charles begins his thrusters and blasts off into the air with the burden of two in-flight passengers, off to the West.A Mercury-Filled LoveTrial Flight in Sky!----------------------------------------------------------------

Thought I would get a little bit of side character action in. It's a shit ton of work, but I get it done. Tell me if my explanations don't make sense! And to whoever guessed on the sister thing... I should say it's related to the plot! hehe...

Enjoy! I will post more on what this weird, mercury head woman can do. In the next chapter!