Fourteen days had passed since Sage had left me alone on Mango to fend for myself. The days of harvesting peppers and listening to Conifer’s music had started as a series of awkward, mostly solitary events involving too much time in my own head and a lot of starving, sleeping, and sighing. Despite my initial indifference, however, those days quickly turned into a quiet, enjoyable life, and the time I spent with Conifer in the company of Rose and Parsley were especially fun. Without these days, I fear my ability to socialize might never have gotten any better.

On the fourteenth night of Sage being gone, Conifer and I were walking home from another session for Rose who was almost completely healed, and Parsley who had unfortunately gotten sick while watching her daughter. The moon was half full and reddish, and Conifer decided we should climb onto our roof and stargaze. With the sky as bright and beautiful as it was and my sprightly, youthful energy keeping me from sleep, I was on the roof before Conifer was.

Conifer played his lute, comfortably slipping into hypnotic rhythms that droned lightly in our ears, keeping us silent and focused on the sky above and the thoughts in our head. I distinctly remember thinking of how nice Rose had smelled that evening, when Conifer decided to interrupt me.

“Will it always be like this?” he asked, just barely audible above his instrument.

“What do you mean?” I yawned, finding the night air a tonic for my restlessness.

“I mean will we be separated soon,” Conifer muttered, his face a contortion of emotions.

It was strange to me that he would ask this, since he wasn’t my family and was so much older than myself, old enough to be my father or uncle. He cared, though, and was getting comfortable with this new life living with me in the same way I had gotten comfortable with him. My nose started to tickle and run with the oncoming sadness, premature though it was.

“I don’t think we will,” I said. “At this point, I doubt Sage is going to come back for me anymore. He’s been gone so long, I may as well get used to my life here.”

Smirking, Conifer said, “You shouldn’t give up on him. I’m sure he’ll return for you.”

“What makes you say that?”

Switching over to a lower octave, Conifer sighed and said, “Well, maybe it’s just me projecting my own moral compass onto your situation. But if I left a kid alone on some island without anyone to look after him, I’d try and get back as soon as I could. That’s just personal responsibility.”

Plus I was a prince, I thought. He’s probably right.

“Well, even so. If they return and take me away, I’m sure they’ll be okay with bringing you along. We can find your family, I’m sure of it.”

He kept plucking away at his instrument, and we stared at the stars without speaking a while. I could tell he was uncomfortable, and I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t think of the words. Neither could he, and he just kept playing that low rhythm, that working song that made my head keep going even if it didn’t want to.

“We should get to bed,” I eventually yawned.

Conifer nodded, but he kept playing and I didn’t get up.

After a moment, he repeated, “Let’s get to bed.”

I nodded, but didn’t get up and he kept playing so we just laid there, staring up at the sky. We were too tired to get up and sleep, and the night was enough to keep us out there.

Smoke broke us from our spell, and I jolted up from my near-slumber with enough speed to almost send me rolling off the roof. Conifer got up more slowly, reluctant to cease playing even with the possible danger on the horizon.

“Where’s that coming from?” I asked, looking around to see if there were flames anywhere, or at least visible smoke. It didn’t take long, as suddenly a loud thunk was heard right in front of us and the houses two rows ahead of us were engulfed in flames. People started screaming, and I felt my heart physically wake me up, the primal urge to survive more powerful than drowsiness.

Before I could even process anything, Conifer had grabbed me and hopped off the roof, pulling me by my limp wrist down the now populous alleys, the rumble of distant battle echoing in the air like a throbbing cancer in my ear. The skies were now filled with smoke, and everyone we passed was in the process of coughing or choking, myself and Conifer included. I couldn’t get a clear look at anything, and when I finally became used to the commotion it clicked in my head where we were going.

We made a sharp turn that nearly whipped me into someone fleeing in the opposite direction. I coughed out, “Conifer, we can’t waste time trying to see if they’re okay. We need to get out of here.”

He paid no attention to me though, holding me tighter and digging his nails into my wrists, not out of malice but fear. It was plain on his face, in his movement, in the cadence of his breath. So then why was he running into danger?

Another turn and we stopped, Conifer now presented with the reality of the decision he was making. People were being cut down left and right by men who were probably pirates but appeared as shades, dark shadows overcast by tall flames reaching up to the stars. I tried getting loose from his grip, and if I had the energy to spare I’d have screamed, but the screams of others turned into loud coughing pretty quickly, and wails of death even quicker, so it was better for me to quietly try and rip my wrist from his nails. Blood began trickling, and I felt my pulse pounding into the wound like a hammer. His hands had grown sweaty from running and the flames, and in that moment I was able to get free. I backed away slowly, not sure what to do now that he wasn’t holding me. Conifer didn’t give me a chance to choose.

Whipping around towards me, his visage was an obvious mask to hide the fear, but a brave face nonetheless. He grabbed my shoulders and kneeled down in front of me, our eyes locked together. His were dark from the flames behind him.

“I know this doesn’t seem smart,” he said to me, eyes watering from the smoke. “Just let me do this. I have to do this. You can leave if you must, but I’ve—” An arrow thunked into a home ten steps away and started a fire instantly, cutting him short a moment. But he went back to it after we retreated a few steps. “I’ve just got to try, okay?”

Then he was off, jogging into danger with absolutely nothing.

Gulping down soot, I spun around like a fool, looking towards Conifer, then back to the fleeing citizens, to the shadowy death cast down on my pleasant dreams. I turned backwards, to run with everyone else around me. And I did run, for at least ten seconds I ran with everyone. And if my conscience didn’t exist, if I hadn’t turned back around before turning that corner, I know I would have kept going and stayed out of danger. My life may have turned out differently. Maybe not better, maybe not worse, but certainly different.

Glancing back before turning the corner, I saw from the corner of my eye that Conifer had engaged in a standoff with a pirate so large he could have been two Conifers, maybe more. I tried forcing my legs forward, tried to keep pace with the rest of the scared people. The sight of him alone, in danger, was too unbearable for me to handle. A tear trickled down my cheek, I wiped it away with a silent curse, then turned around and scanned my surroundings.

I had no weapons, didn’t know magic, and had no back up outside of Conifer who also was unarmed and undangerous. On the plus side, it appeared as if there were only five or six men doing any attacking, and they weren’t bothering with runners, at least on that street. This meant I had a chance to figure out a plan of action, then try and save Conifer or at least help him out.

On the ground was a bunch of debris, some of which was on fire, and my poor decision was made.

After settling on something I hoped resembled a wooden sword but was more accurately a stick, I stalked toward where Conifer stood, his fists balled and raised in such an unpracticed way that I could feel trouble brewing immediately. They were on the corner where the street would turn into the square, where I had met Conifer weeks prior. I attempted to stay hidden, despite the vast majority of people being gone now, with only a few stragglers here and there running away.

I stopped short, standing close to a building that wasn’t burning just yet so that there was a shorter line of sight from me to the man Conifer faced. It was bad for both of us, but staying hidden felt like a bigger priority in that moment. I breathed slowly and deeply, trying not to take too much smoke in while also staying as calm as possible.

“I’ve no business with you,” Conifer said, a small yet detectable shake to his voice. His stance was stiff, a rigidity that signalled he would defend himself if he had to but had no clue how to do so.

The man he faced replied with confidence, and said, “For the last time, you will not get through here without facing me. They’re busy searching for someone right now. Get running away like a good boy, before you get yourself hurt.”

I could see the anger in Conifer, and I knew a lever had been pulled in his head that would make him try and hit that man. There was no way he knew how to throw a punch or grapple or anything, and I knew I saw the glint of a weapon in the distance when I came toward him earlier. So I made my move then.

Prowling forward on tentative steps, I stuck the stick I held into a fire and leapt out the moment I had my faux-torch lit.

My legs had gotten stronger, but my movements were still slow as they’d always been. This didn’t matter, though, because I surprised everyone with that long jump from around the corner. Not because of my athleticism, or my bravery.

It had everything to do with the fact that the stick I held was not a torch, and was completely engulfed in flames, burning my palm every unbearable second.

“Bastard!” was all I could think to yell, a feeble attempt to boost my morale about this moment that would most likely get me killed.

Both men reacted, Conifer stepping backward and the man standing before him running toward me. This was the worst thing he could have done, because my aim was terrible from far away.

After he took that first stride forward, I tossed the stick like a boomerang and rolled on the ground out of the way, blowing on my scarlet right hand. It wasn’t on fire, but it hurt like hell all the same.

The man wasn’t so lucky. Being incredibly flammable, he was engulfed like a candle the moment the stick had bounced off of him and hit the ground. He screamed, shrill and agonising before slamming into a home and hitting the wall inside, setting the building on fire and causing the little shack to collapse on him, his own funeral pyre.

Blinking at the situation, I started coughing from the strain and the smoke in the air and was helped up by Conifer, who kindly took my unburned hand first. He stared down at my red hand and looked ready to cry, but he shook his head instead and just said, “That was foolish of you. You should have ran away.”

“You needed help,” I insisted, coughing louder. “Let’s find Rose and Parsley and get the fuck out of here.”

“Watch your language,” he snapped, smacking my head lightly, smiling.

“Fine, old man,” I coughed out, and we made our way into the square as quietly as possible in that maze of flames.

The square was empty, save for the fire and the men standing guard at all four of the remaining streets leading to and from the square. We saw two pairs of men leaving and entering homes, and I noticed that the fires were all on the side we were coming from. They were trying to smoke their target out, burning what they left behind.

Gritting my teeth, I searched Conifer’s blank face and asked, “You have a plan?”

He just shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to run in there and save them.”

“That’s a terrible—” I began, then I yelled, “Conifer!” as he ran off without me, into the square and toward the street that Rose and Parsley lived on.

He wasn’t particularly fast, and even if he was we just got finished with a hard day, so it was pure luck that he was able to dart passed the guard on her street so simply. The guard saw him go by and yelled for some back up while he chased after Conifer. I looked around quickly to see if there was anything that could help me out in this situation like before, though using something for fire was out of the question after burning my hand.

It was slim pickings for debris, but I noticed there was a pretty large piece of siding from a home on the ground, not on fire and still small enough for me to grab. The size and shape were comparable to a shield made by a small child for a giant, but I could still drag it around with me while I chased the guards chasing Conifer. I started to chase after them when I had a better thought. Finding a spot around the corner, I used the makeshift shield to dig a hole as wide as an entryway and a step deep. Once that was done, I stabbed the shield into the ground on the opposite end of the corner and jogged to where the guards were, which wasn’t too far. They were looking in the buildings all along the street.

“Hey, you limp-wristed bastards!” I shouted, hands around my mouth to help carry my cracking pubescent voice. Three men appeared from the buildings, quizzical and cautious.

“Yeah, you!” I continued. “Come and get me! I know where your guy is!”

I was hoping this would get them to come after me instead of Conifer, and it worked better than I expected. They moved so fast I felt like I wasn’t going to make it back in time, but I turned the corner and leapt over the hole just at the final second. The three guards all turned on that corner without looking at their feet, and all three toppled onto each other in a heap.

Initially I wanted to burn them like the first one, but there wasn’t enough fire in that area for me to pull that off and I had to get to Conifer fast. So I grabbed the makeshift shield and, holding it flat side down, I threw it onto them before they could get up and body slammed into it with as much force as my small body could muster. It was messy and they were struggling to get up almost immediately, but they were too tangled from falling the way they had. My eyes darted around like mad, searching for something to use. A hilt was poking out from the side, belonging to one of the men. They weren’t holding it and they couldn’t grab it, so I stood on top of the shield and pulled out a sword. It was much bigger than I wanted, and was heavy and cumbersome to the point where I almost toppled backward, losing balance. I needed to act fast, and I couldn’t think about what I needed to do.

It was easier with them hidden under the shield like that. I didn’t need to see them when I stabbed directly below me, letting the sword drop so effortlessly through all three of them.

Their squirming and the gurgling sounds nearly made me puke, and I needed to take a moment to breathe. The smoke wasn’t helping, though, so my deep breaths resulted in me vomiting all over the debris and their corpses. If I had time, I might have prayed forgiveness.

Jogging in a vomit induced stupor, I found myself outside of Rose and Parsley’s home. Voices could be heard from inside, and I recognized Conifer so I ran in fast, slamming my face into a mass of muscle.

Loathe to look up, I stood frozen for a second.

The mass turned, and I stared up into the cold, unfeeling eyes of a man who was no longer a man, who hadn’t been a man for a long time.

Pursing his scarred lips, he nodded inward and said, “Sit down and shut up.” I obliged, and found myself in a circle with Conifer, Parsley, and Rose, all round up like pigs for slaughter.

All I could think in that moment was that I should have just let Conifer go on his own.

I’m not proud of that.