I'm lounging about right now. It's... As boring as it usually is.

Nothing challenges me anymore. Nothing even tries to challenge me anymore.

I could wipe out this whole damn kingdom, and they'd just say "It's the whim of the Demon Queen."

Nothing. Tries. And it's dull! Dull dull dull! I'm not that strong! I've counted a whole 25 heroes and another 60 who have potential, and any 8 of them together could kick my ass!

But noooooooo, I'm a "Necessary Existence", even if I haven't done anything for 200 goddess damned years!!!

Speaking of the damned and the despised...

"Oh, look what the cat dragged in. A bimbo with ultimate power. Have you come to rub how little I have to do in my face some more, Elouyn?"

She smiles radiantly. Silly bitch. I hate her so much. I hate her blonde hair, so glossy and pretty and wavy. It even goes down to her knees! I hate her breasts, those massive bloody udders on a silly cow. I hate her eyes, so blue and sparkling. And I hate that smile so much, so much. Because it's the least genuine thing about her.

Even her voice makes me want to punch her. But no, can't do that, rules, I still like existing, so on... What has she got in store for me now?

"Actually, dear, I want you to not do something." Her eyes turn cloudy, and I chuckle "Or, more accurately, I want you to stop doing something."

Ah.

Ahhhhhhh, hehehehe... I was on the money.

I smirk, because I want her to know that I've caught on. "You're talking about that sweet little thing with your stink all over her, am I right? I thought for a few minutes that she might be a hero candidate who does something, but no, she got kidnapped so easily." A smile, and her eyes narrow "Got out of it pretty well, though, considering how weak she is."

She looks off to one side, and mumbles something. I can just baaaarely catch it.

"Makes... A better story? Oh, now I've got to know, Elouyn. And you just know that if you don't tell me, I'm going to find out... And there's nothing you can do about that."

It's one of the few things that gives me joy in life, honestly. I can't attack her directly, because that means she can attack me directly. And she can always replace me. She made that clear right in front of me, with the Demon Lord who preceded me.

But she can't directly affect me unless I try to do it to her.

And she can't directly affect the world, just appear to people, give prophecies, that sort of thing.

It's the one thing I can rub in her stupid, awful face.

Which... Is blushing? Oh, this is juicy, I can tell. Last time she did that, she arranged a steamy roma-

Romance. And she's gathering girls around this brunette moppet. Oh, I have to laugh. And I do, pretty loudly.

"Bit of girl on girl action in your future, eh, Elouyn? Or should I perhaps say... Girl on girl on girl on as many girls as you've decided to gather?"

She blushes even harder, and my eyes get a little of their gleam back.

I can play with this.

I can ruin her fantasy.

So it's petty, so what? Petty is all I can do right now, petty's the only thing that's worthwhile right now.

And she knows it. How aggravating, she's even starting to pout.

"I can make another prophecy, you know."

I shrug. "It's not like turning around and saying 'Oh, hey, that Demon Lord? No longer part of the plan' is something that's going to stick. That goes back even further than they've written."

And then I lean right in, right up close. And unleash the clincher. "Wouldn't it make for a better story for your little 'sessions' if it had an antagonist? I haven't been able to do that in decades. You haven't given me the chance."

Ah, that caught her attention. Such a sucker. And I intend to take advantage.

"Let's make a bet, you and I. Not for anything too important. Just a little change is all."

"What kind of bet?" Mmmm, hook lowered... Let's see if you bite.

"Let's see which happens first... Her capturing my heart. Somehow." I give her my best evil expression. I've had a lot of practice. "Orrrr... Me taking her away from the rest of whatever little harem you've set up."

Mmmm... There's a satisfying sight. Yeah, I want you to make that expression a lot. I want you to get wrinkles from all the frowning I want you to do.

Over all too soon, though. There's that bright, oh so fake smile again, the twinkle in her eyes right back. And I screw up my own face in disgust.

Inside though, I'm whooping out of joy and spite. She's latched on.

The conversation lasts a little longer, sets the boundaries I can play in, and, because it's a bet, I fully intend on playing by those rules.

But I'm going to ruin this for you. Because unlike the rest of them, I'm not handpicked to fit into whatever the hell you're planning.

I'm going to make you cry and pout and stamp your little feet.

Just because I hate being stuck in this role you've set out for me.

Just because I hate you.