I woke up to find myself under a tree.

Like everything that had just happened, didn’t.

All I could think about was how I had failed Kasumi. How I had watched her die, all over again. I just laid there, doing nothing. Watching the clouds through the gaps between the leaves. In agony, and in pain. I was missing both my legs in addition to my left arm. I couldn’t even move if I wanted to.

Why hadn’t I died yet?

Why?

I screamed, and screamed.

What echoed through the forest were the wails of a man that had been suffering for thousands of years. I screamed until my throat went dry and I started coughing up blood. Birds soared across the sky above me, escaping from the noise I made.

Why couldn't the world just let me die?

I didn’t want to suffer anymore. I didn’t want to be a part of this cursed cycle anymore. I just wanted to walk away from it all.

But the gods didn’t allow it. They had forced me back, and robbed me of everything.

“You’re finally awake,” I heard a familiar voice. I turned my head, and the whole time Delilah was sitting there. Aurum was right next to her, silently watching.

I didn’t say a single word. I just turned back up, looking at the time passing by.

“Did you kill Ivan, Lucy and Eileen?” she asked.

I didn’t respond.

“Magnus, look at me.”

She stood above me, covering my view.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. I had a painful migraine, and I could feel that I couldn’t remember what had just happened. My memories were fuzzy, but my heart was heavy. I could only recall fragments, pieces of what had happened. But one thing was clear.

I had avoided death, yet again.

And I had lied.

I remembered that I had been fighting the three of them. And I remembered that they had died, because of me. I just hoped that I was wrong. That somehow that it was all just a bad dream. But if it were a dream then I wouldn’t be in this much agony.

“Did you know?” I whispered.

“Know what?”

“That they were coming.”

Delilah remained silent. She knew. Nobunaga had trusted her with everything. Of all people, she would know as well.

“Did you even try… to stop them?” I coughed.

“No.”

“Why?” I raised my voice. “Why?”

“Because then I would be put at risk. I wouldn’t be able to be here for you.”

“Where were you,” I turned to her, looking at her in the eyes. “When the person I loved died before me. When my former friends were sent to me to kill me?”

She went quiet again before changing the topic. “This is greater than you and just her,” she continued. “You need to look at the bigger picture.”

“I don’t care,” I shouted. “I don’t care about any of this anymore. I wanted to walk away, I wanted to leave all of this behind. I didn’t want to be a part of this anymore,” I sobbed. “I just wanted to be happy.

“There are certain things in play that are beyond your control, Magnus. You need to listen to me,” she tried to explain.

“I don’t care,” I shouted.

“Tell me, could you feel anything from the throne? A sinister, almost evil presence within it?”

“So what? Anyone could have felt something repulsive hiding within it.”

“Did you live near the town of Blackpool before you met Nobunaga?” she continued.

“How do you know this?” I whispered. I had never told her about where I had lived before I met Nobunaga. There was no way that she could have known about this.

“The day that you left Visereal, Nobunaga told me that he had found the other blood son of the previous king. His half-brother. You.”

“What?”

“Nine years ago during Malvin Morgenstern’s rule, I found out that he had sent one of his bastard sons outside of Visereal, to be raised and cared for. Away from the courts where the child would always be in danger. And just before his death he proclaimed that he would name an heir to the throne, and I knew that it would be that chosen son he had sent away. Unfortunately for him, on the day that he was meant to be crowned, the child never made it. I made sure of that.”

My eyes widened.

“I paid off a group of bandits to dispose of everyone in that house. The father, so that the secrets he knew would never be brought to light. Every child in that house, so that there would be no traces left.”

“No,” I whispered. “No.”

“The only ones that can connect and feel the throne are descendents of the royal family. You telling Nobunaga that you felt its power was proof enough that you have the blood of the Morgensterns within you. That is something that nobody else would know, except for me and Nobunaga. I read the old king’s diaries that I stole from his room. Even Nobunaga doesn’t know that I know of this.”

“You’re the one that killed Emery,” I whispered. “You killed my little sister.”

She paused. “You’re the only other living heir to the throne, Magnus Morgenstern. You carry the blood of the first four heroes within you. Only you can declare a claim to the throne as Nobunaga has done.”

My whole life was being turned upside down again.

“Nobunaga says that he will wage war on the other kingdoms. That plan will be stifled now that he’s lost his strongest and most trusted soldiers. We will have time to gather our strength to oppose him, while he is weak. Although with the power of the black throne, he will undoubtedly be stronger than you in your current position.”

“Why?” I whispered. “Why did you do this?”

She paused. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done. But I don’t regret any of it.”

I went limp. Even someone that I thought I had understood had been exposed as the one that had ruined my life. There was no one that I could trust now.

“I needed someone that I could trust to restore the kingdom to its former glory. So I put my faith in Nobunaga, and I had to get rid of the one person that could oppose his claim to the throne. You. I had no choice. But one thing that’s apparently in the royal bloodline is that every member of the royal family at a certain point of their lives goes mad, without exception and we may be seeing is the beginning of Nobunaga’s descent into insanity.”

“I don’t care,” I whispered. “I don’t. Care.”

“You have to.”

“Why?” I looked up. “I’m not special… I didn’t ask for any of this. Why did it have to me?”

“Magnus, I need you to listen to me. Another war is going to break out if we do nothing.”

“Shut up,” I roared. “Shut up.” I threw up more blood. “I hate you. If it weren’t for you, my sister would still be alive. I wouldn’t have had to kill her,” I choked. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have had to suffer. If it weren’t for any of you, Kasumi would be alive. I HATED YOU.” I roared like a kid throwing a tantrum.

And Delilah said nothing. She simply stared down at the ground, and I saw tears.

“I’m sure we’ll meet again,” she wiped her face. “I’ll be leaving Visereal, Nobunaga knows that I’ve come to help you. Melinda will be leaving as well, and she’ll be coming with me until our time comes once more. I’ve left you with food, water and a map. Hopefully… we meet again, under different circumstances.”

That was the only time I had seen Delilah look sad. The first time her stern poker face had given away to show what was underneath all this time. Just another human that felt pain exactly as I did.

She left me, and I sat there for days. I had no idea where I was, but it was nowhere near where I had died. The gaps in my memory began to fill itself as my body slowly regenerated, and I tried my best to understand what to do next. I had no will to live. I couldn’t eat or drink, much less travel. I just waited for my body to heal, hoping that the next time I closed my eyes I wouldn’t open them again.

I had lost connection with Asura, and I couldn’t feel magic anymore. No matter how hard I tried whenever I tried to use the magic that I was once able to, it felt like molten magma was pouring through my bones instead. Dark scriptures in a language that I did not recognize spread all over my body, like some sort of seal. It took weeks before I was able to move properly, and even then I didn’t want to. I ate and drank because I was starving and thirsty, but I didn’t touch anything that Delilah had left me. They had spoilt anyways.

I ate from the forests, finding fruits since I was unable to hunt just yet. I looked at my arms and legs. They looked natural, there were no scars or marks, not even the very faint scarring that remained after I regenerated. I remembered everything by then. The thing that I had become, even I did not understand myself. Now there were more things to haunt me in my memories. My sister called out to me sometimes, but now I could hear Ivan and the others too.

I could still make out his hungover voice as he called out to me to ask me what was going on. Sometimes I could hear Lucy telling me to grab food for her, and even Eileen’s slow stuttered speech.

Everything had fallen apart in so little time.

I… wasn’t sure what I was doing. In fact, I was sure that I wanted to die more than anything else. Yet I held onto something. I didn’t let myself rot back in that forest. I began walking without using the map that Delilah had left me. I didn’t know whether I should choose to trust her or not, something that I still wonder to this day. Instead, I just began walking.

And for the first time in a while, I was truly alone.

The old me would have gone back to Visereal to kill Nobunaga. But I knew deep down that if I had gone back, I would have been crushed. I couldn’t even use magic anymore, and I didn’t know what kind of powers Nobunaga had inherited from the throne.

Before I left I checked the bag that Delilah had left for me. Inside was the map, but I threw that away immediately. I found what I was looking for, the broken sword that I always carried with me and used as a dagger. A reminder of my past, I had always carried it to remind me of my sins. I put it away, and I took the next thing that I was looking for. The sword that had been crafted for me specifically. Half-steel, half-silver. One edge for humans, one edge for monsters. It hurt to hold them in my hands.

I put the two of them away, and I sat there again, thinking. My life was over. I could do anything. I could be anyone. I knew that I could vanish and never appear again. But even until that point, I thought that was wrong. I could stop the war, if I tried. To just let it happen would be the same as me endorsing it.

“What would you do?” I whispered. I wished that Kasumi was by my side right now, to tell me what I should do. But if she was still here, then I wouldn't be in such a position in the first place.

“Walk away,” I heard the wind speak. I turned, drawn in by the environment.

For some reason, I accepted that answer. I stood up. I had no idea what to do next, and I had no desires of my own. If by some chance I was able to truly heal my body, and find out the meaning of these strange markings, then I would. But if it seemed like my powers had truly vanished, then so be it.

Instead of the magic that was unique to me, I had to utilize weaker magic that I had no mastery over. I never picked up on them. So to supplement them I used other ingredients and tools, such as gunpowder to enhance my flames. I had to account for the loss of my abilities before I could proceed.

And so I began my travels, spending years among the mountains and trees as a traveller and explorer. I lived in the dark depths of caverns and rested atop the highest mountain peaks between the borders of Gwnveria and Visereal.

Had I forgiven Nobunaga? No way in hell.

I was angry. Even now I can still feel the unending loathing that I felt for him as my body crumbled into pieces. But… I wanted to travel in peace, just like I had wanted to with Kasumi. In a way, me walking away from it all was a fulfillment of our original promise. To see the land, and to live far away from our sins.

For four years I went and did as I wished. But no matter how far I walked, no matter how hard I tried to move on from the past, it came back to haunt me. The nightmares always came back, and I never found anything that made me truly happy. I was a bit kinder, but I was still broken and incapable of finding happiness on my own.

Fourteen years ago my house was burnt by bandits. I was taken and held prisoner, tortured and made to see what kind of place the world truly was. Then I found Asura, and stumbled upon magic out of my control. And as the twelve-year old me thought of nothing but revenge, I used it as I wish. Until I found a way to use it for a different cause. One year was spent training, learning the way of the sword and mastering the magic that I would wield. The next six years of my life after that were spent fighting a war in the name of peace and prosperity. Then two years, to fall in love. I went from being a man invincible in the eyes of many to a man with a grave weakness. And the next four years, I walked the lands, waiting.

“And now, I’m here,” my voice became soft as the sun set.” My eyes were teary, but I didn’t cry. I spent years crying over Kasumi, and there were no more tears left. After the storm settled, and the dust returned to the ground, I found my way here. And everything changed once more, my body was repaired and little by little my old powers have been returning. Whatever the hell is inside me… I’m not sure whether I can control it or not. Asura’s returned back into my head. Even he’s unsure of what awaits me in the future. The only thing that I know for certain… is that I haven’t changed, all this time. I’ve grown soft. Weak. I’m not capable of the things that I used to be, and I’m not sure whether I can be.”

Rachel had been listening silently and attentively this whole time. She never interrupted or asked a question, but instead nodded to remind me that I had her undivided attention. And after all was said and done, she hadn’t said a single word. Nothing to indicate the judgement that she had made. But even though she had listened with great attentiveness, the looks on her face told an entirely different story. When I spoke of the war and the things I did, she looked sad. When I spoke of Kasumi, she broke into a small smile. And once more her face devolved into one of terror when I spoke of that final night.

“That’s… terrible,” she almost stuttered, as if having trouble coming up with the right words.

I sat there silently. I had never told this part of my life to anyone, and reciting the events of that night reminded me only of how little I had changed. How little I had done to move forward. How I had been wrong so long, but chose to remain blind to my own hypocrisy.

“And that’s that,” I was almost whispering. “The story of my suffering.”

Rachel was now at a complete loss for words. I couldn’t blame her. Not many would have a response to the story of the things I had gone through. It wasn’t exactly something you heard everyday.

Her hands slid across the ground to hold mine and we both relished in the temporary silence. After all was said and done, we both knew that unfortunately, there was nothing she could say to relieve me of the pain I felt.

“You know, she sounds sweet,” Rachel smiled.

“Who?”

“Kasumi.”

“She was.”

“But she was wrong.”

“About?”

“You of all people should know that to protect what you value and cherish, you must be strong. Strong enough to oppose those that are willing to steal what you care for.”

“Can you still say that, even after all the things that I’ve done? After everyone that I’ve killed?”

“What choice did you have? You were just a child, thrown into a situation out of your control. In a world that treated you cruelly, you retaliated with the only thing you had - rage. You knew what you were doing was wrong. But you also knew that it was the only way forward. And sometimes that’s the only thing we can do. Move forward. Until you know what must be done is accomplished. Just like I did.”

“So we’re one and the same.”

“Birds of the same feather flock together.”

“I guess that’s another thing that Kasumi was right about,” I looked up at her.

“And what’s that.”

“People like us belong together. People that are too broken to be accepted by the world.”

“I guess she was…” Rachel gripped my hand harder. “Very soon, you’ll find out more about me, in the city of my birth. And then our roles will be reversed. It’ll be your turn to decide whether I did the right or wrong thing.”

The two of us began walking back just as the moon was within view. Fireflies guided us back, keeping the road just bright enough for us to see where we were going. We took the long way back, holding hands loosely as we wrapped around the lake. Frogs and crickets rested at the shallower parts of the lake, croaking and chirping in rhythm. It would have been a very peaceful and happy night were it not for how heavy our hearts were.

That all changed upon arriving back to the village. Leon and Celeste waved at us, immediately seeing us from a distance, as they always did. The other villagers greeted us and gave us drinks and food as the two of us sat down with them, enjoying what might be the final night we spent with them.

“You two have fun?” Kurumi asked slyly. “Alone, in the woods.”

“Fun is a strong word.”

“There are a lot of places in the forest where you could have a lot of privacy. Makes me wonder what you two were doing all day.”

“Talking,” I drank from a cup in front of me.

“And that’s all you did?”

“Yup.”

“How dull.”

“It was more interesting than I thought.”

Suddenly, all the sound drowned out into the background.

“You can speak freely now,” I could hear Kurumi speak directly into my head.

“What gives?”

“You said that war will be breaking out soon. I didn’t believe you at first, but you seem to be telling the truth. I’ve chosen to take your word as the truth, and want your opinion. Should we leave this place?”

I thought about it. It was an important and serious evaluation to make all of a sudden.

“Do you have anywhere else to go?” I asked.

“We have a few, but the safest would be to go all the way West, to Dragonfall.”

“I have no idea how many people will come, or whether they will come at all. But these people are your responsibility, and if I were you, I would leave. Not immediately, but soon. There are people chasing after us, and I’m not sure if you're safe from them. If you think that Dragonfall will be safest, head straight there.”

“I guess our kind has to move, eventually. It’s in our blood. Thank you for your warning. I’ll take it into consideration when making my final verdict.”

I nodded and she raised a cup to me as I heard the sound around me return, I raised mine in response.

“Magnus!” I heard Celeste behind me. “Magnus!”

Before I could turn around, she pulled me off my chair and dragged me half ways across the dining area. There was a table of just us four, and Ivan patted me firmly on the back, handing me a drink. It was obvious that he had drunk a lot, but he was laughing so much that I couldn’t complain.

“What’s the occasion?” I scratched the back of my head.

“Nothing,” Celeste stuck her tongue out at me. “It's just that you two were gone the whole day. You should spend more time with us.” She then crossed her arms. The three of us began talking, mainly Celeste and Leon about how they had spent their days. Eventually they dragged us into their conversation, and of course we started drinking.

Deep into the night, I began to see things. For a moment, I didn’t see Rachel, Ivan and Celeste at the table. I saw Eileen, Ivan and Lucy, respectively. They just sat there, like they usually did. Ivan would slap me on the back, trying to drag me into the conversation while Lucy was busy munching on her snacks, and Eileen tapped the table slowly for no reason.

I shook my head, and suddenly everything returned to its original state.

“Magnus, you okay?” Leon looked at me. “Had too much to drink?”

“I’m fine,” I smiled. “Don’t worry.”

I could still feel the faint presences of my old friends. Calling them friends even though they had betrayed me, and I had killed them. But they were an important part of my past… and I had to let them go now. Like snow melting during the first spring light, their presences faded away and I remembered where I was now.

“Goodbye, old friends,” I raised a cup. For a moment, I thought it was raining. But it was just my eyes.