Do you know that feeling when someone stabs you in the back with a knife? No? Haven’t experienced it yet? Well, me neither, that’s why I’m asking. But, do you know that feeling when a fifteen-feet tall mass of destruction impales you with one of its horns. You don't? Well, luckily enough I know that feeling. So, let me tell you all about my awful experience.

I got dragged across the meadow, flung into the air, and then continuously got stomped on by a rampaging china shop's worst nightmare. I valiantly fought back, of course. A slap here, a kick there and an occasional middle finger there. I’d say we were about even on how much damage we caused to one another. I can even say I came out on top with how much I insulted its mother.

It let loose another bellow and its blood-red eyes stared at me with undisguised aggression and hatred. Understandable, really. I came in willy-nilly without any prior arrangements to its harem of female cattle and it’s only showing me who's the alpha bovine here that can breed with those plump and juicy ladies. With its sheer mass and height, its reproductive organ should also be of equal proportion. I can only offer my heartfelt condolences to the fallen female cattle here. Died of a too big dick to fit.

Jokes aside, I’m coughing up black blood. My arms and torso, which took most of the beating, were numb and had a lot of broken bones from what I could tell. The place where I got impaled, my lower abdomen, had a huge gaping hole the size of a fist. I’m more worried about getting tetanus than Mr. Beefstew over there coming in for another round. Living your whole life with a creepy smile and uncontrolled spasms is very inconvenient for daily interactions with society.

My body may look battered and weak, but I could still move nimbly enough to make a quick dash towards the forest. I can only pray that it doesn’t come barging right in like my ex. You know, I had a flat-screen TV that I paid with three months’ worth of my earnings and she just took it from my apartment before she left when we broke up. The gall that she had. Boy, am I lucky to have found myself out of that relationship. Even with how much I bawled my eyes out for a month.

I wheezed and coughed while I made a run for it. Praise be that it didn’t follow me. I could finally take a short breather.

I flopped on the ground face first like a fish out of water with my adrenaline fading away oh-so slowly. My fears, I thought that I had conquered them before but that didn’t seem to be the case. It was only just the pain. And my stupidity influenced me in the wrong way again which caused my most doubtful of choices to win over my rationality. On the upside, my body heals faster than the gaping holes and tears on my wallet.

I need to think more clearly and rationally from now on, otherwise I’m very worried that the voice inside my head would stress itself to death. I think I should just let it sit on the driver’s seat and take the wheel from me. Considering I don’t even have a driver's license to begin with.

After a while, I calmed down and everything went back to normal. The first train of thought that came to mind was that I needed something to fight back at whatever it is that comes my way from now on. Gigantic bulls, creatures of darkness and malevolent voices. I’d probably see something much more sinister sometime soon considering my track record. And before that happens, I need a deterrent. If only I could somehow summon that window selection with an array of weapons and tools of warfare again. A knife or something to cut things would be nice.

I heard something mooing and turned my head to the right, and there I saw my unsuspecting meal for the day.

“Can I?” I inspected my soon-to-be new friend from a distance as to not startle it away.

But after some thought, I decided otherwise. A relaxing journey on top of a cow was such a surreal but tempting idea, you see. What do you call that thing again that they wrap around the horse's face to steer it? I remembered being lectured a while back by a patron of the diner who was a coachman, but I can’t seem to recall what it was called—

“A halter!” I clapped my hands together in realization.

With my words and sudden action, the white window appeared before me. It dropped a chain on the ground and then disappeared into oblivion once more. The blood drained from my face as I knew I made another huge mistake. But wasn’t a halter supposed to be made out of rope or leather?