Maraysa Umbrezha Dalyisea

I was dying...

And now I'm not.

What is this? Had I finally lost it? It would make sense. I hadn't eaten in days, It would make sense that my own mind play tricks on me. Or perhaps this is a dream?

I look around myself, and find myself …nowhere. The sky is vastly spread out before me, something I had not seen in years, was it always so clear? So bright? So..open? I stare for a long time, savoring the sight before me. It took me a while, but I realized there was no sun, and still the sky was bright. As if light existed everywhere. I looked at my feet and turned around. Not a single shadow cast.

I paused a second. As timidly put my foot out from where I stood. As I shift my weight from one foot to the next, the ground ripples. I watch in a trace as I take in this new change.

As I gaze into the ground I see my reflection in it. Pale white skin, the likes that hadn't seen the light of day in years. My own two eyes reflecting in strange surface. I touch my face in the mirror not believing what I see. The image is my own but it is not as I remember. Then again I don’t think I've looked at myself in sometime, locked in my prison for so long…

I was there wasn't I? I should have died. But I haven't… did I escape? No . There was no escape from that place. I searched . I looked. And I failed. Many , many times. So why am I here? Where is here? I look to both my right and left.

It looks like this places stretches out forever, on and on with no end in sight. I start running and then falter. My body is still weak, not eating for extended periods of time would do that. Mana could sustain me, but it would only barely manage. My body would still waste away. I could not expend further mana to reinforce my body. I have to save, holding onto every last bit of it. Thus my body has suffered and withered away. I catch my gasping breath. I don't feel hunger anymore. The hallowing feeling in my gut gone. But my body is still the same.

Though I ran I see no difference in my landscape. Have I really passed on? Is this where I am to be after going through all that suffering. Is this my fate, is this the fate of a Variant?

I feel myself collapse, to my knees. Have I just traded a cage with bars for a cage without them? Did I trade one prison for another? Why must I be put through this. Have the promise of release, only to have it cruelly taken from me? …..

…..

…

..

.

I won't allow myself to be a prisoner any longer.

Something brought me here.

I don't know why or how but I know someone did.

I won't be their prisoner.

They will come and I will be ready. So I'll wait. I've waited a very long time, and patience is something I have in abundance. Dark elves are a very long lived race. Time is on my side. So I will wait.

I will kill whatever brought me here. Fate has taken everything from me, and now.

I'll steal it all back.

I won't be anyone's prisoner any more.

I WONT LET ANYONE TAKE FROM ME AGAIN.

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For the first time I see something other than myself. How long has it been since I got here? Irrelevant. The time I've sent waiting is of no consequence . all that remains is to take back what mine.

I grab whatever is in front of me by the neck. And push in, into the ground. I can't tell what I'm doing this too.

All I see are faces of the past. I see , my mother , my father , my sisters, that dammed village elder their faces mock me. They took everything from me. My home, my choice and my life. All of it!

IT'S'ALL YOUR FAULT.

yOu ToOk iT aLl fRoM mE. EveRYTHiNg.

No MoRe

I feel the thing that is under me squirm as it tries to escape my grasp, but I hold on like my life depends on it. I've struggled for years, this much is nothing.

I feel my back give out I fall further on top of what this is. I must be right in front of it, my face a few inches from it. But I can't see out of eyes, all I see is red and the faces that cast me into hell.

I WoN'T Let YoU TaKe AnYthING mOre.

Nothing more will be taken from me.

Yes , I can take it all back. From the gods that curse me.

I woN't LET yoU lOCk mE up.

. I won't be locked up in a prison

The struggling seems to get fiercer, whatever it is , is slowly dying and it won't be long now

Yes I will be free. Take it from the family that cast me away

I WoN'T LeT YoU TaKe mE bACK .

I Won't let you put me back in some hole to rot forever. I will have my revenge and let them rot in the

same hole they dropped me in.

The struggling stops, have… have I done it?

I DoN't Want To gO BacK.

I don’t want to go back. I can't go back. I don’t want to. If I go back….

It must be….Now I'm all

I… I…I'll be all…

Alone

Alone

I feel a hand touch my face and wipe at my face, such a tender and soft touch. It breaks me from my maddened state. My eye's regain focus and I looks at what I'm doing.

It's the child…the same child. The one from before…What is a child doing here? I stare at it and it stares back, the gentle hand still there. It's hands are on the left side of my face, creasing my cheek softly. And my hand's are at its throat…what am I doing? I feel weakness return…have I been? I was strangling the demons of my past in my mind, their twisted smiles , their mocking eyes. So why have I got my hands around this child's neck?

What have I done? My grip loosens in shock, my face is mere inches away from this child and it looks directly at me. Straight through me. Like it can see everything and I can hide nothing from its gaze.

I.. I ..

I can't think, my mind is stuck in a loop of the same questions, how? And Why?

The hand still remains there as if casting back all the malice I've felt but a moment ago. Like everything was a dream…

It speaks, a quiet hoarse voice, a pained voice

"Why are you crying?"

Crying ? Me?

Why would I cry?

And then I realize why my eyes are so wet. Why the hand is softly wiping at my eyes.

My hands have left the neck of the child and I stare down at it while it stares back at me, it's purple

eyes shine brightly and pull me in.. I feel the child tugging at me, but It hasn't moved its hands from where they were… it's the eyes they're pulling me in.

The tugging grows stronger, the pull irresistible and I feel myself fall into those deep purple eyes and lose myself.

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Then

Aged 13 location: Chamber

"The orb!" shouted the Elder

It was my 13th birthday, they day I would be tested for my magic aptitude, I was so excited I could barely sleep the following night. I was 3rd child of my parents. The third born child of the house of Dalyisea , a mid ranked noble household in the kingdom of dark elves, unlike our forest elf counterparts we did not stray from advancement but embraced it.

The other elves favored the old ways and long ago a war was brewing between the two races , everyone was standing on thin ice, one step and all out war would begin between the two factions. The great battle between the two order of elves, however did not happen. Leaders broke off and decided to allow others to follow whichever path they choose, they deemed it only fair that elves should be able to choose their own fate and respected their wishes. At least that's what my mother said when I asked her. I personally think it's because there were so very few of us at that time, war would bring extinction to our race. We don’t reproduce very fast like the humans or beastkin, and our numbers at that time were very few. Whatever the reasons, those who left. Changed their skin turned dark in color, a midnight blue hue that set us apart from our forest elf counterparts. We became stronger and more hardy but lost our affinity for nature magic along the way. We built castles, and homes and embraced change , and we became changed. The relations between the dark elves and forest elves have been strained ever since.

Me being the third born , I would not inherit much land. I would have seek my own fortune. Make my own name. I had shown some ability for magic in the past, much to the envy of my two older siblings, I thought at the time it was just a form of sibling rivalry ..how wrong I was. My parents however were too busy working and sorting thing up for my older two siblings, education , etiquette, the like. I was not ignored by any means, being the third meant less responsibility on me. Though I did want some attention from my parents at times. I understood my role and I decided I would win their favor when I was tested for my magic aptitude.

When a person's aptitude is measured the person is also blessed by the goddess of their faith. And a divine blessing would bring forth great power onto the individual. I wondered what mine would be as I stood on the stage as the orb was presented to me. My parents were in the stands, a small crowd was present, I of course was not the only one here, many other youths had done the ritual and it was currently my time. I stood up to the orb and placed my hand.

And I knew immediately something had gone terribly wrong. The orb turned pitch black and cracks started forming in the glass. A pit formed in my stomach. Nothing like this had happened to the other children why is it happening to me?

I turn to the elder his eyes were wide with shock , he tore his gaze from the orb to me and shouted the words

"VARAINT"

The crowd exploded into shouts and shrieks. My parents stood up with shock evident on their faces. I felt an impact to my gut, blowing the wind out of me.

Huh? I looked to my attacker and see the elder's fist come down on me again. I fell down to the ground as the impact prevents me from retaliation. I cried out aloud but no one helps me. I screamed for help from my parents, but they stare out in disgust. Why is the elder hitting me? Why were the people just watching ? Why aren't my parents helping? Why ? Why ? why ? why ?

I felt something in me break, power explodes outwards and the air turns to ice, the elder attacking me gets blown back and impaled on large shard of ice, piercing his chest killing him instantly. I feel no remorse for him. None at all…why don't I feel remorse? I just killed someone.

I still felt the pain of the blows and I spat out blood. Sensing some damaged internal organs I got to work on healing myself. Guards surround me and I'm cornered, they point their spears at me and I stop and stare. Why did they not help me when the elder attacked me? Why are they attacking me?

The same power rises in me again. But this time I feel my skin burn. Pain stopped me from channeling the powers. I fell to my knees and scream. From the corner of my eyes I see the guards fall back in fear, fear of me. But the pain is too much and I scream even louder . I felt myself change, my body change, my hair change and even my magic. The pain subsided and I looked at my hands. The dark blue pigmentation on my skin was gone, and I looked at my new flesh. It was white, as white as snow. I grabbed my hair and looked, my raven black hair had turned into silver strands. I grabbed my ears and sighed as they were still present. Ha. How stupid all of these changes and I could still find some comfort in knowing my ears were still present.

I looked around and saw the guard that stood before me had fallen to their knees, some backed away entirely in fear. What had I become in their eyes?

I saw my father walk through the guards towards me, his eyes cold. I retracted my power to ask what had happened to me. Surely my father of all people would know? He was a very distinguished mage in his time. Surely he'd be able to help me? My father came closer with my mother in tow. I move towards them with great expectation in my heart and called out to them

"Father I -"

I started but could not finish, because the pain in my chest killed the words in my throat. I looked into the eyes of my father in question , not able to understand what just happened

"Do not call me father, YOU MONSTER" he shouted, my eyes widened in horror. My neck moved towards the source of the pain slowly and in twitchy movements. I saw my chest pierced by a blade. Connected by my "fathers" hand. His blade. His hand. My father had stabbed me. I look at him again.

Tears coming out of my eyes

"w-why?" I managed between the tears in my eyes , the pain in my chest and the blood filling the inside of my lung.

He did not responded in words but twisted the blade in his arms, causing me to gasp out loud. His eyes were still cold, like I wasn't his daughter, like he had just wounded a monster. A monster. That what he thought I was.

I turned to my mother. I reached my hand out to call her.

"Mo..ther… I don-" but before I could finish

The blast pushed me away and I landed on the ground a few feet away from the two I once knew as "parents". Flames burned at my flesh as I desperately rolled on the ground , to put the flames out. I screamed and screamed my parents names, the names of the other dark elves, the names of the gods.

And then I felt a kick aimed at my chest connect with the snapping of my bones. My chest caved in unnaturally and I stopped screaming. I was sent flying again . And when I landed I felt my vision fill with black spots. With my chest caved in, it was hard to breath but I did anyway. With every aching breath my vision grew clearer and I saw two figures stand before me.

They were my siblings. Nalaei and fyalae.

Both of them stared down at me , with contempt. I understood now their gazes all those times in the past now, they despised me and I was too stupid to see it. All this time, they laughed with me , they would "accidently" push and shove me during our playtime. Huh I've been quite a fool. So blind to the truth.

"AH , HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA" I broke. As the tears slid down my cheeks as my ribs stabbed me at every heave I laughed harder and harder . All this time they played me for fools.

The two of them said their words, it may have hurt me, but I was way past feeling now .

"AH AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH haHAHAAHHAhahahaAHAHAHAHahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" I kept laughing, until a guard hit me with the back of his spear.

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Then

Age 13 Location ???

I woke up to pain. I couldn't identify where it came from, just that it was there . I couldn’t feel my right hand. My body was in a pitiful state. My magic is back now, under control. I willed it into my body and slowly heal. While I tired make sense of my situation. My skin knits back while I go through what happened. I was in the chamber, I placed my hand on the orb, it tuned black and my father…stabbed me. My mother cast her magic on me and my sisters…

I stop the tears won't stop flowing. The agonizing pain I felt in my body fades away to this new pain. It hurt…hurt more than getting stabbed, more than getting burned. The pain of betrayal. They tried to kill me…all of them did. The way they looked at me…as if I was a monster..like I was less than them. Like I meant nothing to them. The tears fell, faster now my chest heaving deep sobs as the pain in my heart and the pain in my body combined. I started to feel numb. Like it's too much and my body had shut down. All the pain gone away, all that remained was the stiffness of my body.

My body was changed and it continued to change. A normal dark elf would have died from such wounds. Yet I was still alive. This was a testament to the hardiness of this new body of mine. Stronger. They were afraid of me. And they tried to kill me. Because they were afraid. Yes …afraid..of ME.

I looked around me to get my bearings. Rocks overhead and rocks bellow me. Propped my bruised body up and looks at the luminous fungi that provided this cave with a small quantity of light. It was dark, but I could see…what was I becoming? A variant? That is what they called me… I recall the faces of those I called my family, and I walked deeper in the tunnels laid out before me.

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Then

Age:13 Location:???

It's had been a day. At least I felt like it had. It was hard to tell time when there was no sun or moon . I came across some monsters which I had to eat to calm my stomach. They were large boar like creatures , that traveled in a group. I lured the stragglers into a dead-end and tried to kill them. I was successful but I ended up getting gorged on my side. The pain is dull. It should have felt more but I didn't it was like my very perception of pain was changing. Perhaps my parents were right to be afraid. But now they’ve given themselves reason to be afraid. I will. Get out of here.

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Then

Age:??? Location: Prison Dungeon

I don’t know how long I've been here. I don’t even know how far I have traveled. The tunnels change , from time to time. Going back the way I came , led me to another place entirely. I've gotten better at hunting. My magic control is much better now that it was ever. This new body is very adaptable. I've been thinking of my "family" a lot recently. What they did to me. Where they put me. This…dungeon prison…

The way I feel of them has changed significantly. When I first came here I was confused ,angry, sad.

But now…now I feel a lot more numb…I'm changing more and more. This new body of mine has changed the way I can employ magic. But it has also changed the way I think….or maybe I was always like this? I can't tell. And it doesn't matter. All that does is to survive.

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Then

Age:??? Location: Prison

More time had passed. My body had changed further. I've grown in size . No longer am I little girl, this might have been something the old me would have been excited about. But all this means I have the ability to kill bigger enemies. My mana pool has grown with age, my spells still consist of only ice and healing magics, but my ability to use the magics I have, had improved. Even with novice ranked spells

I learnt I was able to destroy my foes with ease. My days consisted of simple tasks. Hunt. Kill. Sleep. repeat.

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Then

Age:??? Location: Prison

KILL

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Then

Age:??? Location: Prison

KILL

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Then

Age:???? Location: Hell

KILL

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Then

Age:???? Location: Hell

How long has it been?

………..

It doesn't matter

Have I been here already?

……..

It doesn't matter

Nothing else is here…where is everything?....

The luminous fungus seemed to dim as well..

How much longer can I go on? ….

It doesn't matter…

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Then

Age: It doesn’t matter Location: It doesn’t matter

Get out of here? Did I ever have such foolish thoughts?

Revenge? Did it matter? I laugh at it now, thoughts of getting back so foolish…

There is no way out of here…There never was….This place was meant to be my burial ground…

I stand in a corridor I'm sure I've run past countless times… my body weary and tired my mind defeated…. All alone here..even the monsters are gone…even the corpses disappeared..everything is gone…except me..

Everything is gone.

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Then

Age: Location: My Grave

…….

It's cold…so very…. very cold

Even my voice has left me…what did words sound like?

What was the sun like?

The birds?

The soft breeze of the wind?

The sound of rain hitting the hard ground..the rustling of leaves…

All seems like distant dreams, or things that happened a lifetime ago…

I lay here..too weak to move… nothing moves but myself..and then..even that stops

I'm dying here.. in a grave no one will find..all by myself..

All alone

All…alo-

"NO!"

What?

"You aren't alone anymore".

Where is this voice coming from?

Is this a …dream? Not alone anymore?

How can it be…nothing else exists…it must be lie….a dream right? ..

Maybe …. Just maybe…I could believe such a sweet lie, such a hopeful dream.. just this once?

It's all going to end soon..may as well go along….believe a lie….dream a dream..

"I won't let you be."

And like that...

Just like that

My nightmare shatters and I awake

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THIS CHAPTER WAS A NIGHTMARE TO WRITE UP

Man it was really difficult to convey the what I wanted into words. English is my strongest language(I speak it the good very much) and it still was borderline impossible to finish this chapter. I just wasn't happy with it AT ALL . The whole point about this thing was to go into details of how Maraysa was slowly going insane . the location and age part were there to hint at this, it was meant to be subtle but it's as subtle as a 14 wheeler truck going through a glass shopping hall at 12pm on a Saturday. So yeh.. I'll have to re-visit this at some point . I actually feel bad uploading this but don't want to seem I've dropped this novel. I has a small following now, what would you guys to without me?

Whets that? You'd Have more time to read more interesting novels? Well ouch that hurts but it’s technically true and that hurts even more. Well rest assured the only reason I'll ever stop posting is if im in the process of figuring things out for this novel or I've died a horrible death. Im pretty sure im dying from this cold anyway so, you have been told in advance . if I drop dead , be sure to check out my new works in my next life ^^

Or heaven…or more likely hell…..what ever read my shit, I desperately crave validation for my sub par writing skillz

----ps. this author doesn't know how decimals work, ill get to it......eventually