This is a re-post of my story "I'm Also a Dungeon Core" under a new name.

I've separated the original prologue into prologue + chapter 1, because it was just too long.

If you have read the newer prologue on that listing, skip to chapter 2 as not even one word has changed.

If you have only read the older prologue, just read the Status description from chapter 1. About half of that is new.

If you're new to the story, welcome.

How did I get here?

Ah, right. My roommate wanted me to pick up a pizza.

¤¤¤¤¤

"Hey, I got some new stuff to try. This one's called Space Monkey."

"If you're gonna smoke that shit, keep it in the shed. Even if it's just marijuana, that stuff stinks up the place. I don't want you to kill the resale value on this place."

Honestly, I really don't care about mild drugs like that, so long as I don't have to partake in them, volountarily or involountarily.

Oh, and I also hate sharing the road with someone stoned out of their gourd.

Or too baked to remember they're at work.

Really! Stay at home, or at least somewhere you're not gonna hurt anyone, and we're all good.

And speaking of not driving..

"I'm gonna need a pizza later. You know how bad I get the munchies."

"You're not going anywhere till you're good an sober, Dan. Either get it delivered, or I'll pickup for you."

"You know I hate tipping, I never know how much to give."

I'm really not sure whether he's bad at math, or social interactions. Or maybe even a bit stingy. But I've never had a problem with him stiffing me on his share of rent. So, whatever.

"Alright, I'll grab it for ya. Where at and how much?"

"I didn't order it yet."

"Well, get to it then. The sooner you call for your ninja pizza, the sooner you can blast your monkey ass off to space."

¤¤¤¤¤

Red light, just as I'm coming up to it.

. . .

And. Nobody. There.

. . .

I hate traffic lights that operate on a timer regardless of traffic.

Or more to the point, the distinct lack thereof.

Green.

. .

. .

Red light.

Again.

.

Nobody there.

Again.

Wow, color me surprised.

. . .

Green

. .

. .

Red.

The Universe must have it out for me again tonite.

. .

. .

Green.

*SMAASH!!!*

¤¤¤¤¤

This part has a gore trigger.

You have been warned.

Future chapters won't have the warning. I'll assume that if you continue reading, you're okay with that.

CALL 911!!"

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?"

"There's been an accident in the intersection at Fifth and Sunset.. North.. When the light turned green, the car in front of me started through, but then.. Two semi's came barreling through from each side and.. "

"He-"

"..Hel-"

"HE'S STILL CONCIOUS!!!"

"..Help."

"I've got emergency on the line! They've already sent an ambulance! Stay with me!"

"How.. bad?"

". . Very.. Dispatch, the semi's, well.. they basically cut his car in half . . I'll go look."

"OH! OH GOD!!"

*HEURK!*

*Splash*

". . Sorry.. Your legs, they're.. still in the front half of the car . . . But the only thing I have isn't sterile . . Okay.. Sorry buddy, but I gotta staunch the bleeding here. Or you won't survive long enough for the ambulance to arrive."

"Are you still with me? . .

Hey!

HEY!"