I feel like I can think now.

It was like I lived a dream all of those years. Like as if I could just answer automatically to things.

But I can think now.

Thanks to father.

It started when I went to have training with the militia. I’m becoming a good soldier, and a soldier must think.

You never know what you need to face, so you need to be ready. To be able to listen and understand.

To look at everything without getting tired, but without losing your attention as well.

I wonder if Alvin knows what I’m talking about?

He’s strong, but he doesn’t have enough attention.

He isn’t alert enough.

It happened more than once. He stood by the gate with me, father and our companion.

He would soon look for something else to do, besides watching the outside.

One must always be alert to the outside.

Father may seem like he’s joking and looking for ways to pass his time, but he will spot anything wrong immediately.

Once someone needs help, he will see it.

A few days ago he was playing three-face dice with Filli. I thought he wouldn’t see when Rudolf came out of the woods with his feet hurt, but as soon as I could see him father and Filli saw him as well.

That’s what brother can’t do.

Remain alert even when he’s playing.

So I don’t know if he can think as well, because thinking only happens when you’re alert and aware.

If you let yourself be taken by impressions, then you won’t think.

Like right now.

Sister is doing that to him again.

Is he thinking?

Doesn’t he think it’s weird?

We didn’t saw adults doing this to kids when we were young. Why sister does it?

I asked Ralphe once, he said adults shouldn’t do that to kids. It will hurt them.

Still, there is no way sister will hurt Alvin.

He’s too strong for her.

I can’t see his aura because he’s always using [Aura Hiding], but I can notice some things he does.

When he comes back home.

He sometimes brings wild herbs like Old Willow with him.

Old Willow only grows in places far, far deep into the forest. Ralphe said it would take him over a month of traveling if he was to try and find a place so deep.

“It isn’t that far, but if it’s in the middle of the forest then there are no roads. You take eight days to walk the same you would in a single day of walking on a path.”

A month of traveling.

And he does that every night. Probably by jumping on the three branches instead of walking in the ground.

That would use a lot of aura, and still he’s always accumulating more and more.

Alvin is strong. Sister wouldn’t stand a chance to make him do anything. She wouldn’t stand a chance of hurting him.

Still…

It feels wrong.

We did that when I was young, and back then I was confuse.

I wasn’t thinking.

I couldn’t say yes or no. I couldn’t decide.

Not how I can now.

It feels wrong.

But Alvin is stronger than me and sister, and he’s always wanting more from her.

When it was just the two of us, for a time I also asked for more.

Why did I do that?

I should sleep.

It’s too late now. Tomorrow I will have guarding duty.