Chapter 2: Memories

Unknown, Unknown

Time passed.

How much time had passed? The man did not know.

How could he? After all, he was dead.

He was dead… yet suddenly, a soft voice quietly echoed inside his mind.

“Such powerful fate… powerful fate… fate…”

The soft voice grew louder.

“How far can you go… can you go… go…”

The final ‘go’ from the voice caused the inside of his mind seemed to, in a sense, tremble. While his mind was trembling his senses slowly returned to him. The arduous process was like drinking water through an unbearably thin straw. One by one, he unconsciously accepted and concentrated on each sense as they returned.

Sight… he naturally opened his eyes but was only greeted with a blurry view…

Hearing… he heard the sound of water, lots of water, surging forward then halting in a random manner…

Touch… he felt a soft comfortable warmth. The warmth encouraged him to move around in ecstasy, however, his movements were stiff and sluggish…

Smell… he smelled something that brought a feeling of nostalgia…

Taste… he tasted… nothing, just a familiar wetness in his mouth...

He felt another existence but, unlike the five main senses, he struggled to grasp it. As he continuously attempted to make sense of the mysterious itch, his thoughts suddenly returned.

What… what is this? Who am-

Bits and pieces of his memory rammed themselves into his mind, halting his curiosity in its tracks. The memories were like specks of white light that brightened the vast darkness of his mind. Returning in a disorderly fashion, he grasped at the first memory made available. The memory’s white light expanded, covering his entire mind, and played itself like a scene from a movie.

…… The cold steel blade stabbed itself into the man’s heart. The assailant took a step back and watched, with many other men, as the stabbed man dropped to the ground. The group of men gathered around the fallen man then one of the men pulled out a burner phone. He proceeded to press a dial and lifted the phone to his ear……

I was dead…, he recalled as soon as he finished reliving his death. The way he viewed his memory was a peculiar fusion of being in his own body yet also being able to view it from above. The rest of his memories proceeded to return in the same disorderly fashion but a single memory had an irresistible attraction towards him. He grasped it with an inexplicable obsession. The white light consumed his mind once more.

I… am…

I am… KAI, he remembered. His name caused his mind to seemingly explode with memories, like a detonator to a bomb. Memories flooded his mind and rapidly established themselves in chronological order. His life flashed before his eyes.

…… A young boy was sitting on a large cushioned chair that was taller than himself. His mother and father sat on the floor in front of him making funny faces. The young boy laughed in pleasure and his hilarious manner caused the adults to laugh along with him……

…… The father threw the lamp across the room then proceeded to smash anything he could lay his hands on.

“Why did you leave?!?”, he roared before continuing his mayhem. He spun around looking for anything to demolish then his eyes landed on the young boy. The look in his eyes was something the young boy would never forget……

…… Empty bottles of alcohol rolled across the floor as the father stumbled, struggling to maintain his balance. The father roared in frustration as he became woefully aware that his supply of drinks was depleted. His crazed eyes found the young boy huddling against the corner of the room and he immediately moved to assault him. The young boy screamed in pain as his father punched him; kicked him……

…… Passed out from alcohol, the father sat lifelessly on the sofa that the young boy once sat on. In the midst of his pain and the everyday living nightmare, the boy could not even begin to recall those happy days. With an enormous effort, the boy slowly stood on his feet. He thought to himself, ‘If only she didn’t leave-- No! If only I was strong!’

His willpower reached an all-time high. Mustering every last bit of courage he possessed, he decisively bolted out of the front door and ran. He rushed into a nearby mountain, sped past countless trees, until he consumed the remainder of his strength and leaned against a tree. As soon as he stopped an unexpected fatigue washed over him and his consciousness faded into the dark……

…… The boy woke up on a soft bed of leaves. The first thing he saw was a man staring at him with a face full of interest. “You’re awake, boy. Now would you care to tell me why you’re so deep inside the mountain?”

The man spoke with a calm tone but the boy could not help but notice a dangerous glint in his eyes. With no desire to lie, he spilled the details of his life and the reason for his reckless escape……

…… The boy carefully made his way through the thick trees in the mountain, searching for the man. The man soon appeared in his view and so did a brown grizzly bear. The bear stood on its hind legs, its height reaching a full head taller than the man, and roared at him. Before the bear could attack, the man’s figure blurred in the boy’s eyes and he appeared in front of the bear holding a knife that was planted deeply inside the bear’s head.

The boy gasped and the man immediately noticed. He turned his head and pulled the knife out of the bear’s head. As the bear lifelessly collapsed on the grassy field, he slowly walked towards the boy. To his surprise, the boy did not retreat and merely stood in place until the man appeared in front of him. “Boy, are you scared?”

With frightening determination in his eyes, the boy replied, “Teach me!”……

…… The man pointed his index finger at the boy’s heart. “Love. Hate. These feelings, these emotions, each will hinder you in the path of an assassin. Hinder you from becoming strong! Remember boy, you must forget these unnecessary attachments. Nothing exists besides the death of your enemies!”

The boy took every word spoken to heart and firmly nodded his head. “Yes master!”……

…… The boy crouched on top of a tree branch. His master sat underneath him in a cross legged position with his eyes closed. He delicately lowered his body stance then immediately jumped down. His left foot extended in front of him with the full intention of striking his master. At that moment his master opened his eyes and swiftly grabbed his feet in midair.

With a firm grasp on the boy’s foot, his master roughly threw him to the side and he rolled along the grass before skidding to a stop. “Too slow. Too loud. Again!”

The boy was not dispirited and instantly returned to his feet. The calmness in his eyes depicted that the altercation was not the first. With a determined look, he nodded his head and proceeded to climb a nearby tree as his master returned to his prior sitting position……

…… The teenager and his master fought face to face, each holding their choices of short weapons. The teenager held two karambits and his master held two bayonets. Sparks danced in the air as the metal blades rapidly clashed against each other.

Suddenly, the air settled as they both ceased their movements. Their arms were paused in mid-air and the teenager was holding the karambit against his master’s neck. His master nodded in approval and they both dropped their arms. “Very good, boy. Having reached this level, I have nothing left to teach you.”……

…… The teenager stood at the bottom of the mountain he had resided in for more than a decade. Before he walked away, he turned to look at the mountain. He did not feel nostalgic nor did he feel sad. He felt nothing. Wearing a cold and empty expression, he turned around once more and went on his way……

…… The teenager had both hands in his jacket as he walked amongst a large crowd of people. His right hand contained a small gun attached with a silencer. His cold lifeless eyes scanned the crowd ahead of him before calmly landed on one particular woman. As he came across the woman he swiftly pulled out his gun and emptied a single bullet.

As if nothing happened, he continued to walk and casually pulled out a burner phone. Pressing a single dial, he brought the phone against his ear. When the call went through he softly spoke two words, “It’s done.”

He hung up the call and carelessly tossed the phone into a nearby garbage can. The moment the phone reached the bottom of the garbage can, a woman screamed in the background ……

…… “The best assassin in the underworld”, an old man merrily laughed as he stood up and spread his arms in a welcoming manner. A young man walked through the door, into his office. The old man gestured for the young man to sit. They both sat down and he complimented, “You are so young.”

The young man did not care to respond but the old man took no offense. Instead he laughed and said, “This is my target for you. If you complete this mission you will rewarded beyond your wildest dreams.”

The old man took out a photograph from inside his suit and gracefully handed it to the young man. The young man took and stared at the photograph; stared as his master……

…… The young man was back on the mountain. Standing in front of him was his master. The scene held a sense of nostalgia as the young man held a karambit in each hand and his master held his bayonets. “Kai… please listen to me. I was wrong! What you have…no, what I taught you, this isn’t strength! Don’t continue my mistake!”

His master’s expressions peaked the young man’s curiosity. He had long closed off his feelings but his keen perceptiveness still allowed him to analyze the feelings of others. Sadness and guilt was evident on his master’s face. This master was unfamiliar to him but the fleeting thought only lasted for a moment before he attacked. His master yelled in desperation, “Kai!”……

…… The young man held his karambit, it’s blade buried deep in his master’s chest, piercing his heart. While coughing out blood, his master stuttered, “I’m sorry… my fault… Kai… please… my da-”.

Before his master could complete his words, his eyes glossed over and the last of his life dissipated. He had died. The young man’s heart momentarily shook but almost immediately recovered as he returned to his normal, cold, self……

…… The young man ended a call and tossed his burner phone to no place in particular. Taking one last look at his master’s corpse, he turned and walked into the forest. Just as he was about to descend the mountain, a high-pitched voice cried out behind him. “Father!”

As if he was struck by lightning, a single memory of a young boy calling out ‘Father’ in the same tone of grief clouded his mind. He slowly turned his head towards the voice. Next to his master’s corpse was a little girl whose age seemed similar to his age when he first met him.

“Father!”, she continued to cry with a heart-breaking sorrow. Her small hands trembled as she held his master. She pushed his body, as if he would wake if she did, but doing so only caused the pool of blood gathering around his corpse to grow. Her tears fell harder as she lifted her head up and screamed at the sky.

The girl’s voice pierced the young man’s heart each time she cried out and he felt the invisible ‘seal’ he placed on his feelings completely collapse. Waves of guilt consumed inside him as the images of every person killed flashed by in his mind.

He recalled how each time he killed someone, fragments of his remaining feelings he was unable to ‘seal’ slowly faded away along with the life he claimed, until he eventually became emotionally numb.

The last image of his master’s corpse flashed by and he was suddenly overwhelmed with tears. His body felt weak as he leaned against a tree. He remembered some of the last words he would ever hear from his master. “I was wrong!.. This is not strength!..”

The young man now understood his master’s words. Realization dawned on him that he just killed the person that was more of a father to him than his biological one; further drowning him in grief. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t comprehend it sooner master…’, he thought; thinking for himself for the first time in a long time……

…… The young man was outside of a house. Peering inside, he saw a familiar little girl and a woman. They were no longer living on the mountain. He was hit with a pang of guilt knowing the reason was because of him. Quickly composing himself, he continued on with his motive.

He took out an envelope that contained a letter and the information to a bank account that he recently created. In order to cut all ties from the underworld he had created an inconspicuous account that contained everything he earned in the past years as an assassin. He carefully placed the envelope inside the house’s mailbox and walked away.

“I’m sorry that this is all I can do master…”, he muttered to himself. “But from now on I’m finished. I will never take a life ever again.”……

…… The young man was cornered by a few men. “Why are you all chasing me?”

“You think you can leave the underworld just like that? You know too much about the organizations. We aren’t the only ones that were hired to take care of you”, one of the men answered.

The young man understood immediately. He thought of all the important assignments he did and who gave him those assignments. With everything he knew, he could easily cripple the underworld. Without another word, he quickly disabled the men in front of him and ran…….

Kai felt enlightened, his mind cleared of the chaotic memories as he remembered everything.