《A Weird Book #1》34. A wizard demonstrates advanced metaphysics
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Ch 34
“So what in the hell is this trying to prove?” Ronnie asked, scratching his head and feeling the kind of anxiety that comes from both legitimate fear of the future and regret of loaning his stoner friend five thousand dollars to fund that very same future. In response, Melmat, who had near perfect self control, a man who had been trained by the the most accomplished magician in the world to-date, hesitated.
They were in a room Melmat had gutted entirely. After it had been emptied, the carpet removed and a new temporary floor installed, nobody would have recognized it as the room Sarah had died in.
Everything had been painted white, the paint being a now illegal blend with a heavy concentration of lead. Then, a large, specially constructed Faraday cage had been built, lining the walls and creating a geometrically perfect cube. Set inside their own smaller cages were large, amp sized frequency generators with a brand signature that nobody recognized, an 'M' shaped like two angular arms projecting out of a single point, leaving horizontal claw marks as they moved away from one another.
Librorum, though absolutely useless for activities that required excessive physical movement and very fast reflexes, was capable of matching a CNC laser when it came to cutting metal and piecing it together. This was fortunate, Melmat had reflected a while back, because the construction of the four foot tall, flawless steel dodecahedron event chamber sitting suspended on wooden pillars in the exact center of the room, would have cost him a fortune to have made.
Just a few feet away, hooked up to the Bio-Chip, was the Uke-A. Nobody was aware of it except Melmat, but there were also several gel-based incendiary explosive devices in the room, in-case the worst/best case scenario did occur.
“Hey,” Ronnie said, snapping his fingers and pulling Melmat from his thoughts “do you have an answer for me or what?”
“I am the angel of death,” Librorum whispered into his ear, trailing a paper finger across his temple “know me and feel the fear of freedom.” Ronnie couldn't hear her, but some part of him registered the presence and intent, and he unconsciously itched the side of his head.
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“I tracked down the original designs for the Uke-A,” Melmat began “hidden in the library. While I was looking over it, I noticed some discrepancies in the list of parts. This led to a thirty-six hour code-breaking session, and it was only a lucky break that allowed me to crack it. There were instructions encoded in the blueprint, indicating that there were twelve separate designs for the Uke-A, hidden in major universities across the world. There were over a hundred schools listed, each containing it's own copy.”
“What. . .?” Chad said, scratching his head energetically and looking baffled.
“So, did you track them down?” Ronnie asked, expression indicating confusion.
“I did, and it took some doing. A few phone calls got me the majority, but I had to take a plane to Tibet for the final design. Of the twelve, only it didn't have any copies.”
“Is that why you took a week off?” one of the female undergrad lab techs asked.
“Yes,” Melmat lied. In truth, he would rather take a bullet to the head than be caught in Tibet again, so he had spent the week meditating. On a beach off the coast of South America. It had been a long, long time since he'd had a vacation.
“It was beautiful,” he continued “Just the colors, the smells, the mountains. . . I had to go to a temple and undergo a fucking trial, like a courtroom trial, in which I had to argue my worth.” The memories of when he had done exactly that, many years ago, flooded to the surface, assisted by Librorum. He had been so young then.
“Did they give it to you?” Chad asked.
“Not the first time. I asked for a re-trial, and they gave it to me on the condition that I could go three days without smoking weed.” Melmat made a face “That was more difficult than I thought it would be. I did it though, and they let me make a copy of the original.” Melmat pulled out an old Polaroid photo and passed it around. A younger looking version of the man that stood before them sat in a full lotus meditation pose, smiling with a bright innocence no liar could match, making a peace sign with both hands, surrounded by smiling men in orange robes also making the peace sign.
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“I'll want that one back,” Melmat said quietly, an unexpected surge of pain in his chest.
“You look so young!” The female labtech said, eyes moving from the photo to Melmat and back again rapidly.
“The mountain air and a detox from drugs'll do that for you,” he said smoothly. “Once I assembled all the pieces, a new device emerged from the chaos. It is very similar to the Uke-A, but the small changes. . . well, hopefully we are going to see in just a moment here.”
“Ok,” Ronnie said, staring at the photograph, then handing it back over “That's a great story. You still haven't answered my question. What in the fuck is this thing supposed to do?” Melmat gulped.
“It's going to bring something over from the other side,” Melmat said, his words having a chilling effect on the entire group. “It enables trans-dimensional interaction,” Melmat said, then pressed a button on a remote in his pocket. The frequency generators turned on, each playing a different note that melded together in an eerie chord that made the hairs on their bodies stand straight up and their brains feel like someone was tickling them in the center.
“Ohhh, I hate that,” Chad said, eyes wide and edging towards the door.
“We had better get out of here,” Melmat said “It should take five minutes to warm up, but I want us safe in the observation room. I don't know what's coming over from the other side,” he lied again.
–
“This doesn't feel like a very smart idea,” Ronnie said, rubbing his arms while his eyes were glued to the monitor showing what was happening in the room from multiple angles.
“I'm with Ronnie on this,” Chad said, occasionally flicking his temple and scrunching his nose “I've played a few games and seen a few movies, and usually the bad shit starts with 'I've built a device that opens to another dimension.' How do you know this isn't going to open a portal to hell?”
“The odds of that happening are reasonably low,” Melmat said absently, reading the constant readout from the bio-chip and occasionally typing “We could, but only with a much more massive power source. Everyone, please quiet down, I need to concentrate, because it's starting.”
From the speakers, the team could hear the tone change, from an eerie whine to a powerful, resonating sound that seemed to wash through everything like the sounding of a divine bell. The Uke-A turned on, and the effect on the twelve-sided event chamber was immediate, waves of heat rising from it.
“Woah!” Ronnie said, leaning in close and staring. Melmat could practically hear his mind crunching how many units of power were being generated against how many had been required to start the reaction, and coming to the conclusion that this was 'free fucking energy baby'
“Stand back,” Melmat ordered “Don't crowd the screen, it's not over yet.”
The waves of heat became larger, and the metal platonic solid gained several blotches of red that visibly spread across the entire shape, and soon it was a burning, cherry color.
“Are you going to burn the building down,” Chad asked, totally engrossed in what was happening “Because if so, that's fucking badass.”
Melmat couldn't help but smile. Whatever mysterious reaction was occurring seemed to have stabilized, and for a few moments, nothing happened. Ronnie was about to speak, when, all of the sudden, they saw Sarah standing in the room, dressed in a skimpy leather outfit with cat ears on her head and vampire fangs hanging over her lips. One moment later, a gigantic, sleek, black panther with bright red eyes and saber-tooth fangs could be seen behind her, lounging, panting.
Melmat, in a moment of genuine panic, hit the emergency stop button when the panther stood up on two legs, stretched, body realigning to become a humanoid with cat ears on his head and fangs , and walked towards the door. Before he could reach it, he vanished, and then Sarah as well.
“Sarah,” Ronnie said at the same time Chad said “Satan's Pussy?”
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