《A Weird Book #1》29. A wizard goes to the mall
Advertisement
Ch 29
It was getting late, 3:15, and Melmat was performing a party trick for his fellow researchers. He had a lit joint in each nostril, and was doing a funny dance while smoking them one at a time, through each nostril independently, while singing a made-up traditional African witch-doctor song which literally translated to “I am the Witch-Doctor”. They had turned the lights out, because it was easier to see the red coal at the end of the joints flare up that way.
Everyone was laughing by the end of it, and though they normally stopped around 4:30, work was officially over once Ronnie turned on the lights and began smoking with Melmat. Upon taking a small hit, however, he began coughing uncontrollably, and only barely managed to say “Jesus Christ Melmat” when Melmat took a larger hit.
Melmat had been working at this angle for about a week now, arranging events to permit this outrageous display. It wasn't part of any overarching plot or scheme, he just felt like being funny for a while. Even his impressive self control could become exhausted, even he needed to blow off some steam every so often. Ronnie had fully recovered, and was politely passing on a new joint, this one produced by Chad, clearly less powerful than the two Melmat was working on.
“I've given some thought to your suggestions,” Ronnie said “About using the Uke.”
“Oh yeah?” Melmat asked, formulating the question in a stoned way “Have you realized I was right about everything yet?” He laughed. This conversation was also something he had been working on getting for weeks, and it was most certainly part of his plan.
“No,” he said flatly “But some of the write-ups you've given me are pretty intriguing.”
“It's wild stuff,” Melmat said, setting his joint down “If I were you, I wouldn't trust a word out of my mouth, but man. . . can you imagine?” Melmat said, and a bit of his genuine self began to leak through “We'd never need to drill for oil again. No more wars in the desert, no more loud dirty cars on the road, no more starving children. Our technology could advance further than we could even imagine, and we're just one breakthrough away.” Melmat's voice grew hard, just for a moment “Just one goddamn breakthrough.”
Ronnie stared at him, then laughed.
“That's the spirit. Glad to see you getting fired up, Melmat. Sure,” he said, suddenly shrugging “Why not? It won't take terribly long to test your theories anyways.”
“Only take a week and a half,” Melmat said, voice suddenly sobered up, and mannerisms speeding up to near normal speeds “and we only need to do one test. It's pretty simple, but I can't set it up by myself.”
The group seemed surprised, and began talking amongst themselves. Melmat had always produced excellent work, despite his clear dependence on marijuana, but had never shown initiative like this before. They collectively though his latest theories sounded like extremely well written horse-shit, but that they seemed like a good deal of fun anyways. They, secretly, did not want to snuff out his new spark of enthusiasm either, as he was well liked by the group and they often wondered what he could achieve if he really applied himself.
“Fuck it, I'm down,” Chad finally said, breaking through the conversational barrier. “It's college, right? This is when we're supposed to be doing dumb shit like this.” After Chad's declaration, the rest of the group followed suit, and agreed to give Melmat's strange experiment a try.
Advertisement
“I promise, you won't regret it,” he said gratefully, and began shaking people's hands, leaving each of them with a light, tingling sensation.
–
“Beware the abyss, the underworld, for here are locked gods and powers like you have never known,” Ronnie said, surprising Melmat by quoting Lullaby from the Dark. Ronnie, Chad and Melmat walked and a gaggle of mostly unfamiliar girls followed behind. It made sense they were there; Ronnie was considered an impoverished, tragic member of the upper class, Chad was well liked and single. Melmat. . . well, he was putting on a very effective cover as a smelly stoner, so they wouldn't have anything but unconscious knowledge about how attractive he was.
Melmat, on that subject, was very happy to be transitioning out of the 'heavy smoking' phase of his plan. Today, though nobody would notice for a while, Melmat was standing straighter, had a healthy smell about him, and was speaking in a much more articulated manner. He, on an internal level, felt much cleaner, like his blood had been coated in something oily as it pumped through him.
“I never figured you for a man of culture,” Melmat said, then coughed. He could speed up the healing process, but there were some consequences even he couldn't negate about long term smoking.
“It's a classic, my family listens to it every year in the winter,” Ronnie replied, eyeing the large homeless encampment that had sparked the conversation. The smell was of cigarette smoke and urine, clinging to the wind. The encampment was inside of an abandoned parking lot of a bankrupt mall, a slowly rotting megastructure of shady dealings and moral abandonment. The mall was at the bottom of a large hill, cut down the side and walled back with enormous concrete blocks. It sat in the lowground, those who walked on the sidewalk above the wall could look down and see the roof of the building.
The homeless were not confined to the encampment, however, and though Melmat and his group walked on the sidewalk overlooking the mall, the streets were still packed with flattened cardboard boxes, orange needle caps, used condoms and every other kind of garbage. The homeless mostly sat around, half of them were smoking a cigarette at any given time, and only a few of them bothered to look at the group of college students passing through. To Ronnie, it felt as though they were walking through the territory of dangerous animals, before he reminded himself that the homeless were people too, just like him, down on their luck is all. Still, the feeling returned.
The sky was blue overhead, the bright sunshine bleaching away some of the emotional weight of the scene.
“So, when you said your guy was at the mall . . .?” Chad asked, referencing local slang for being homeless.
“No, he's not at the mall,” Melmat replied “He's a good dude, we talked over craigslist a lot setting up this deal,”
“Which definitely isn't a drug deal,” one of the girls said, voice sarcastic.
“Which definitely isn't a drug deal,” Melmat said “But is a deal for some really sensitive, corporate research grade electronics. You can not buy this stuff, period, so it's a miracle I tracked it down. You've got the money, right?” Melmat asked Ronnie, who nodded.
“I've got the money. Why ten grand? I thought these components were only going to cost two thousand.”
Advertisement
“Because he might have something else, and he might not. Chad, you've got your gun, right?” Chad rolled his eyes and nodded, prompting a look between the four girls following them. They collectively walked a little closer behind after that.
If you had asked Chad or Ronnie about why they were so composed about going into a black market deal for stolen electronics that had the potential to turn into a gunfight, they wouldn't have a clue. Luckily, nobody was likely to ask them that question around here. If they had, they might have noticed they weren't acting like themselves.
In the distance, a homeless woman was having a life destroying argument with someone who wasn't there, she was screaming obscenities and wildly thrashing her arms, occasionally pausing, then responding to the silence. Melmat stared at her, much longer than his group felt comfortable with, and Chad eventually patted him on the shoulder, prompting him to start walking again.
They continued walking through the desolate streets, until eventually they reached the meeting spot, a building that had once been a Radio Shack, but was now just abandoned, and thoroughly looted of anything that could be sold. It was also, Melmat noted, entirely absent of any homeless occupation what-so-ever. They entered the building and picked around the piles of rubble, making their way to the former employee break-room.
Melmat asked that they remain outside, and they dispersed, exploring the ruined franchise building. Ronnie handed him an envelope and said 'good luck', before walking off. When everyone was gone, he immediately shifted into a much more natural, assertive posture and entered.
The smell in the room was different than the smell outside. The smoky air of cigarette smoke had a sleek, classy feel with a hint of cloves, and a man in a nice suit sat on an old couch, a briefcase on the table across from him.
“Flannel Glasses,” he said, looking at Ronnie. He spluttered and stepped back.
“Midnight Cup,” Melmat said, voice neutral.
“Nice to meet you, Melmat. Would you or your companions care for a drink?”
“They can do what they like, but I'll pass. Let's see what you've got,” Melmat said, and the suited man reached into his inside jacket pocket, producing a folded five gallon, thick, clear plastic bag, heat sealed. He unfolded it, then laid it on the table. Inside, in separate compartments, were several large black plastic rectangles in blue ice pack, a piece of dirty obsidian, a vial labeled 'rain water', and some desert soil.
“I was able to contract a friend out in Vegas to get what you asked for. You've got interesting taste, that's for sure, but nothing that couldn't be done. You've got something for me as well?” Melmat slid an unmarked black flashdrive onto the table.
“The rest is in cash, like you requested,” he said, and handed him a white bank envelope.
“That's good,” he said, plugging the flashdrive into a device the size and shape of a smartphone, it showed a readout of numbers and various digital currencies, primarily from EndChan. “That's very good indeed. I've also got a tip, for a good customer.”
“I thought it was supposed to be the other way around,” Melmat said, genuinely amused.
“Not in my line of work. Three bodies were found north of Hope, Nevada, up top a mountain. Sounds like cartel work, but two of the guys were theirs, and nobody is taking responsibility. One civilian dead, went rogue from his bachelor party and ended up dead next to two feared cartel enforcers.”
“Where? Where did they find them?” Melmat asked, leaning forward and eyes wide.
“A mountain in the middle of dead desert, the particular name of the wasteland escapes me.”
“Who found them?”
“Some kids. Cops came by and saw the bodies, but when a team got out there to take them to the morgue, they weren't there. They were going to conduct a search, but it was getting late, and they were hearing a lot of. . .wildlife.” He took a drag of his cigarette “so they called it off and said the wolves must have taken the bodies. There's been no further effort to recover them.”
“That's a shame. His poor fiancee,” Melmat said, and meant it.
“Unfortunately I don't know anything about that. This will conclude our business,” he said, and grabbed his brief case, set it on the empty cushion next to him, and opened it up. Inside was a set of dirty clothes and a pair of worn out shoes, safely contained in a thick plastic bag. “Unfortunately you'll have to leave without me; I'd like to change into something more discreet. Good bye.”
Melmat nodded, and left, taking his group with him.
–
When back on campus, Melmat couldn't help but notice Lisa every-time she was in his field of view. It wasn't unexpected, or unwelcome, and afforded him the opportunity to see the dramatic change the girl had undergone. Her clothing style before had been an arrangement of drab, thick garments, now she was wearing light, bright clothes, and was currently dressed for a workout, her hair up in a ponytail. He had noticed her out running most mornings, and knew from her memory impressions that she had overcome a major mental obstacle. He felt a deep sense of satisfaction in his chest, and allowed himself to take a full, relaxed breath. Lisa turned her head abruptly, then wiped the hair from her braid out of her face as she stared lasers at Melmat, who began coughing from shock.
She didn't remember anything, he was absolutely certain of that. At least, the parts of her that were awake didn't remember anything. She blinked several times, then shook her head, turning back to her friends, who were giggling from their attempts to snap her out of it. Lisa began speaking to them, and even from this distance, Melmat could tell she was asking about him.
Melmat really hoped she wasn't pregnant.
–
Back at the lab, Melmat collected everybody's phones and put them in a two cubic foot faraday cage. He removed one of the shiny, textured plastic rectangles and held it up for everyone to see.
“This, is a bio-chip,” he said, sliding it open and revealing a rectangle small patch of healthy looking, pink brain matter in a case with wires running out of it, attached to sophisticated looking circuits. “And before you ask, yes, it's still alive in there, and yes, it is human.”
Advertisement
- In Serial23 Chapters
Saga of Fallen Kings, Book I: The Revenant Prince
The Philosopher King once conquered the known world, his power seemingly unlimited and his armies inexhaustible. Since that time his might has slowly unravelled, and his once steadfast empire has begun to crack, splinter and devour itself. In the isolated Southern Realms, where even magic has abandoned them, none of that matters. For years it has been filled with warring kingdoms, where as many kings die to the blade as to old age, and constant battles tear apart the land. When one such kingdom invades its old enemy, the King and his heir, Prince Caden, are killed. Unable to accept the loss of his family Prince Arian is broken, and when the Philosopher King stretches out his hand in aid, Arian takes it without a second thought. When Caden wakes from death, he's different. His eyes and soul have changed, and he finds a world filled with friends who no longer trust he's even human. Suddenly thrust onto the throne and indebted to the Philosopher King, Caden has no choice but to keep going - he must finish what his father started, and try to survive the machinations of the figure who now owns his fealty. Meanwhile something beyond death stirs for him, desiring nothing more than to drag him back into its embrace. Author's Note: This story used to be known as "A King of his Own", but after some consideration I have decided to rebrand it. The first reason is that I was growing increasingly dissatisfied with the title. The second is that I have come increasingly to view this story as a 'saga' containing multiple 'books' rather than one long, continuous publication, and as I did so I realized that as I was quickly getting to a point in the story where I wanted the first 'book' to end. This doesn't mean I'm going back on the things I said below - they're just going to continue in the next book of the Saga of Fallen Kings. :) Also, be aware that I do plan to edit this at some point. Though I take care to squash out any obvious errors when I proof-read, and do simple edits in that process, at some point I'm almost certainly going to do large edits that might significantly change parts of the story. Old author's notes: This started as a completely random writing session. There was no purpose or direction, but as I kept typing an entire world began to form in my mind that I knew I had to write about. My plan is to turn this story into a veritable medieval fantasy epic that spans an entire world, follows multiple character and storylines, and takes place over many years. The story has quite a grounded, almost 'realistic' start, but many more fantastical elements will be introduced, expanded upon and become central to the narrative. I have ideas for this story that make me genuinely excited and I hope you enjoy my work as much as I enjoy writing it, and join me on what will hopefully become a truly massive fantasy epic. If you do enjoy this story please consider following, rating and leaving a review. I'm also happy to answer any questions or comments you have. (Cover image is an edited version of free stock art found: here.)
8 205 - In Serial29 Chapters
THE MAN WHO FOUGHT GOD
From the boy who was blessed by God, to the man who fought God. This is the legend of Joseph The Giant, and The Great Wolf Of White. This legend can only tell you of the fight, who won or lost if for you to decide. If you can stand to read my writing, consider checking out my main story "Perception(Time is Relative)" I have learned a lot from writing that story and hope I can use it to improve this one.
8 153 - In Serial54 Chapters
New Job (Jensen X Reader)
I finally got the job that I have been dreaming of since I was a child. But I couldn't admit it to my parents because they don't like actors. I was going to auditions in secret, despite the fact that I'm 28. I got the role of a demon who is demon Dean's 'girlfriend' and I have to say that I'm going to enjoy it a lot because the actor that pictures Dean is really good looking. I'm going to be as professional as I can and I hope he does do.
8 450 - In Serial35 Chapters
Here
⚠️ MATURE⚠️ This story contains strong use of language and mature scenes. If you are offended easily do not read. ________________________________________________I felt something tug my hair behind my ear and I snuggled my head deeper into the pillow. Suddenly I felt someone straddle my back. I gasped and my eyes flew open as I swung my hands forward to push myself up and whatever was on me off. I groaned as I fell back down to the heavy weight, someone was on top of me. The person grabbed my hands and held them above my head with a firm grip. "P-please let go of m-me" I choked out, tears starting to run down my face from fear. "You are so beautiful." A male voice whispered in my ear as he grabbed my bottom, squeezing it.I screamed but got cut off as he put his hand over my mouth, flipping my body around. He was now sitting on my middle section. He was wearing all black, I could tell that it was the man from earlier. He has a cloth mask on, opening for his eyes and mouth only. Cold brown eyes met my green ones and I whined in fear as he stayed deadly still, studying my face.My shirt had rode up past my belly button during the struggle and his eyes raked over my showing skin, lust filling them. I struggled, trying to move my legs and arms to get away but he was too strong. "If you scream again, I'm going to kill you." He growled. I groaned in response, tears running down my face. He slowly released his hand from my mouth and reached into his pocket pulling out a knife and zip tie. I figured that if I didn't scream I would want to die if this man took me so I did what I had to do. I let out a bloodcurdling scream loud enough to wake up the whole entire neighborhood.
8 81 - In Serial25 Chapters
im fine
just to warn you guys this fanfic is sad and has some trigger warnings in
8 176 - In Serial30 Chapters
The hidden warrior
Emma has been known as the nerdy, straight - A student ever since starting high school. She doesn't like to do anything that requires physical activity (well, according to everyone in her school) but she hides a secret. She is a vigilante by night, so when S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers show up at her school how will she react? Will she spill her secrets or remain as the weird, nerd? I guess you'll only find out by reading on
8 217

