Ch 02: encounter

*like seriously, a really loud crash*

”ow, fuck...”

Sir, you have taken no damage what so ever, why are you complaining?

“habit I guess...”

”HOLY FUCK!? what the hell?!”

’who the fuck is this guy? why is this field filled with dead hollows?’ yes I know what they are called, I played the game after all.

[not me tho]

”who the fuck are you?! furry piece of shit!?”

”now that's uncalled for, I literally just fell from the sky, I should be asking the questions here.”

alpha what are all the changes in this universe?

there is a total of 13,567,981,410 changes, but the most relevant ones are 1. hollows are called skeletons, 2. everything is not in complete shit, 3. estus flasks are replaced with healing potions, 4. modern terms and slang are used, and 5. there are no undead other than the hollows, and the occasional chosen.

to summarize, this is Darksouls if it happened in 2017

this isn't what I signed up for, I wanted premium, as close to original worlds, as possible

“-hat if you fell from the sky, you are a fuckin monster! I should be chopping you in half right about now!”

it seems I spaced out a bit

”little arrogant for a human don’t ya think? what am I saying, of course you are.”

good thing main character recognition is still working as part of its evolved form, this guy's an ass.

“gwouoa!.!!”

”shit here comes reinfo- what!?”

{read that as if he is yelling at first then the pitch lowers to confusion, then shock.}

a group of about 20 hollows come from around the corner, the moment they come out, I use my new sword and create my first style/form thing, to be honest, I just went with the first thing that came to my mind at the time. I know, I sound fucking cringy as all balls.

”blood flower.”

congratulations!! you have created a new sword style!!

[Hestenger swardsmenship] has been created, it is learnable to anyone you take as a student!!

“convenient... so, willing to answer some questions now?”

”Holy fu- those skeletons just exploded!!! what the fuck are you!?”

”I'm Rai Hestenger, core god of monsters and power, now what is yours*looks around*obliterator of armies..?”

“Alex of- wait did you say, god?!”

”yes, and?”

this guy seems dense, he has this confused look on his face, this is darksouls, you see people as strong as gods on a regular basis, the fuck is with this shit?

wait...

”you can’t be a god, they’re all dead. there hasn’t been a god here since the age of ancients... if you are a god... then do something only a god can do. bring her back to life.”

"and why should I do that? I can do anything else that could not be seen in this world and have the same result."

you are smarter than I thought.

'what was that?'

"b-because, u-um."

"just because I'm am a 'beast' as I'm sure you are going to put it, doesn't mean that I'm an idiot. think before you do anything, it's a good thing to do."

wait... did I catch a case of dense protag? or is that the instability talking?

"shit, can you really not do that for me?"

"no"

this went on for a while so I'm going to skip this argument, p.s. writers workshop really helped with my descriptions of things.

"fine you win, but you have to do me a favor afterward. k?"

WARNING

you don't have the skill

[Revival]

right, forgot

you have gained the skill [Revival Lv.∞]

ok, let's do this.

Ch 03: void beast blade

"there we go."

"the FUCK happened?!"

Alex points at me.

"Furry!?"

"again with the furry"

rolling my eyes at the attempt at an insult, which had no effect, it didn't ok, I start walking away from them.

"Hey! you're not going anywhere!"

"you going to stop me?"

"what about that favor you have for me?"

"Oh, yeah that. um, how about you show me to town?"

"like we are going to do that."

I shake my head, I mean, it's not like they have a choice in this, I did just bring back his obvious friend and all, I'm going to cash out on this.

"... Fine, we'll bring you to town."

"good... I'll go in human form, I don't want to draw more attention than I already do, do I?"

without even waiting for a response, I transform. inspiring shock and awe in-

[insert generic transformation animation here]

shut up you

"so, we going?"

"wha- HOW AND WHY?"

"magic" I deadpan, annoyed at the question in general, as for why he yelled that, will forever remain a mystery.

"fine, you got me there."

"wait, what did he mean by bringing me back to life?"

"I brought you back to life in exchange for a favor, now do good and do said favor."

shes shocked, its evident on her face.

"why did you make a deal with that furry?! now the towns in danger!"

"why would he destroy a town? he's a god."

"god? what, why!?"

this also went on for a while, so skip plz.

[skipping]

and so we enter the town, which has a name, but I'm too lazy to find out what it is. the stench of the streets fills the air, as there is trash everywhere, hey that rhymed, but really the odor of the town is so thick I could see it, maybe this is why nobles don't come into the peasant place in medieval times? eh, who cares. the cobblestone streets literally go for miles, with my advanced sight, it's actually 3.7 miles, but that's not important. what is important, is that this knockoff Darksouls world actually has some, not dead, people in the towns. so going into the 'Adevanced Weapoons Shoppee' as it is spelled, we, well, I see an old man, a very old man, like skin about to fall off and 12ft white beard old, staring intently at my sword.

[story-telling has leveled up!!]

'Matthew, you are not the system'

[shussh, this is the lazy way of saying that I have practiced writing, so shut up and let me do my thing.]

(3rd point of view)

Rai stared at the old man. the old man stared back, with cold lifeless eyes that only had the last bit of light left in them. The old man whore a brown torn peasant shirt, unbefitting of a shopkeeper, even if the shop is not known, his receding dull grey hair had only patches of black still in them. it is obvious that this man has seen somethings that no mortal should.

"that is a beautiful sword. do you mind if I take a look?" the man asked our disguised hero. feeling a slight unease, until he remembered he was a god, Rai stepped forward into the shop. Placing his hand to the strap that held the divine weapon, Rai removed the sword from his possession and placed it onto the countertop.

"Does this sword have a name?" asked the old man.

"not at the moment." stated our protagonist.

"a shame, to see such a beautiful sword nameless." the man said with a sad tone. Rai looked at his temporary teammates as if awaiting an answer, they snap out of their stupor and give a shrug. with a small frown, rai turned his attention back to the old man.

"would a name be beneficial?" asked Alex.

"beneficial? are you asking if your partner deserves a name or not? if that young lady next to you saved your life, wouldn't you thank her?"

"Partner?" asked said girl.

"yes yes, now you are getting it, if only a little." said the man "your sword is an extension of you, it is often used to slay and injure, but people don't seem to realize that they also protect. if you were in a battle with only your sword, how would you defend?" he continued

it was at this point that Rai thought to appraise the old man

M. T. Wister Race: Human? Age: immortal preferred look: handsome 25 Y/o Rank: God? Lv. 10000 titles: the mysterious, Ascendant, the Opportunist G. Rank higher-low class

"I would block any attacks with the sword. Why do you ask?" responded Alex

"and that is one reason that blades can also protect, another being to save someone, and to defend a friend." he continued "Just as the eyes are the doorway to the human soul, a name is the doorway to a blades soul. treat your blade right, and you will have a friend for life. now a ask you two to leave now, as granting a sword a name is a precious thing to a swordsman," Alex sighed and Marie left, with Alex following behind.

"finally." said the 'old' man, as he loses his wrinkles, and his hair grows back, and a robe pops out of nowhere. he turns to look at Rai

"I believe some introductions are in order. M. T. Wister, Low Dimensional god of morals and the mind."

"Rai Hestenger, newly born god." said Rai, not wanting to reveal trump cards too early

"that's not good, would you mind telling me your full title?" asked Wister

"why would I so readily reveal my power?" Rai asked, feigning offense

"true true, well then, let us begin. before we start, what are this swords abilities? it will help with choosing the name." asked Wister

Rai then started to think. he and I never really stated what the sword could do, just that it was Indestructible. for ease of access and for me not to write about 1000 words to describe the abilities of the sword, here is a table, detailing most of the characteristics of the divine weapon.

Unnamed sword Base attack N/A Rank True Ultimate S.Rank N/A G.Rank Core Material Multiverse energy abilities void slash, void thrust, void slaying space cutter, void beasts revenge, Worthiness, godly domain invocation (bound to current domains), controlled rampage, What is defense?, self-sacrifice, The End, The Beginning, Apokalyps, Mimicry, transform(wielders will), Combo amplifier(x2), perfect swordsmanship, inner world

"it has a lot of abilities, dealing with the Void and beasts." stated Rai.

"well if we are going to do this, at least use your real form, its common courtesy among gods." said Wister, causing Rai to sigh softly, and turning into his 'normal' form.

"seems like beasts are a thing with you, no matter." he continued, "due to the theme of beasts and the Void, the Void Beast blade sounds nice, of course, in the language you prefer." said Wister

"that's it? no extravagant magic, no lines of wisdom?" said Rai

"well duh, did you think that everything was mystical? in a way, it is yes, but this is just naming something." said Wister one more time.

while the naming is mundane, the effect that it had on the sword was noticeable, the blade seemed, Happy? being named as it did, when bringing up the weapon table again, 2 things stand out.

Void Beast Blade Base Attack 50,000-300,000 S.Rank

Basic

1 it now shows an Attack value

and 2 S.Rank has been upgraded

"well, that about wraps things up than, time to leave." Wister than sidesteps through the dimension, like he's passing behind a curtain, its best not to think about it.

shifting back to his human form, rai leaves the shoppe like nothing even happened.

"so what even happened in there?" askes Marie, feigning concern, when Rai knows for a fact that she does not care.

"Nothing overly special, just naming and that's it really. the process itself is a bit of a letdown, as nothing cool happened, other than that, I can safely state that this sword now has conciseness," states Rai, with a small trace of amusement in his voice. Alex and Marie roll their eyes, as they know that Rai is a god, so they can brace themselves to some extent to his common sense breaking routine.

as the naming 'ceremony' has been completed, and with nothing better to do, Rai and his current party members set off to find some cool shit to do. However, as this is dark souls, and as there is nothing really describing what it is like out of the main map, Rai decided to go on the journey to light the fire.

ch. 04 somewhere else.

{you guys remember Kira, right? well this is what happened after Rai transferred for the first time.}

“well, that was fun, I guess?” said our current main character, not Rai.

”I’ll miss that furball, it's not every day that you befriend a monster, even less a powerful one like Rai.” stated her companion.

in the background, the portal starts to distort the space around it, then it disappears from sight, relocating directly below Kira, in a rather convenient way as well. Kira's current companion has a look of surprise at the sight of the human falling into the ground, all the while Kira screamed "I didn't ask for this!" before leaving the dimension.

{i used a randomizer for the world that she fell into and got Jojo's, so}

Readjusting parameters ..... Done!! name Kira kitasugu title none Lv. 1 (0/100) race Human HP 100/100 MP 50/50 SP 0/∞ DEX 10 AGI 10 STR 10 END 10 INT 10 WIS 10 CHA 53 LUK ù013.#4↨1V? STP 40 after a terrible but fast childhood in her first life, Kira became a shut-in, going out only for food, or anime conventions. she died a tragic, but clichè, death by the hand's wheels of Truck-Kun. in her second life she went by 2 names, Kira, and demon swordswoman, and right when she thought her clichè streak was up, she worldhopped.

"Why did my name change?! and im level one again? that's no fun!"

'whats with that luck? and I guess that explains the [reincarnator] thing on my old stat window.'

after getting over her anger at regressing her levels, Kira chose to use her stat points, 10 into DEX and AGI, 5 into INT and WIS, and 10 into END. after choosing her statistics, Kira was sent to a character creation screen.

"I have to make a new look? Bullshit, im Beautiful as I am now."

Would you like to skip Character creation?

doing so will randomize your appearance.

Y/N

"on second thought, I could change a few things."

after exactly 3 hours fiddling around with the sliders and choosing the hairstyle and outfit, she was finished. compared to her previous books, her new appearance would triumph for sure. hew new body had short black messy hair, barely going past her ears, deep sea blue eyes lay within a lean face with a muscular undertone, her arms and body had a fit and toned look, but not bodybuilder lever, just enough to be noticeable but not so overly eye-catching as to say "oh look at me! im the bad guy!!", she now has a set of permanent Abs that look as though they could block bullets, her legs where the same as her arms and her clothing could be said to be average at best.

"I think that this looks good," she says while giving everything a once over for the last time. "I think its time to finish" Said Kira as she opens the menu to complete her time spent in the customization room.

Rolling for part... Done!!

Welcome to the world of Jojo's bizarre adventure Part 2: Battle Tendency

"Am I going to be a motherfucking Jojo's reference?!?!?!" was all she managed to yell before darkness overtook her.

ch. 5: IS THAT A MOFUGGIN JOJO REFERENCE!?!??

"AHHH!" screamed awake Kira, in the middle of an alleyway, in New York City.

"Hey! mom look! it's a beggar woman."

"now-now joey, you know that you shouldn't point to strangers."

the women and her child went out from view, leaving the Startled Kira to herself wondering what she should do now.

"going over my first life's memories, Part 2's Jojo, Joseph, should be shooting a cop with a homon infused bottle cap at the start of cannon. and if this goes down how I think it goes down, I should bump into them no matter what I do. well, better start training again."

as soon as she takes a step.

Due to past experience and plot armor, you have gained the skills

[←╦%&9&#)!$ò►] [Basic swordplay] [intermediet swordplay] [advanced swordplay] [trancendent swordplay(aka sword flashing)] and [ultamate swordfighting]!!

statistics have been modified to accept the changes

"stats changed already?"

Readjusting parameters ..... Done!! name Kira Kitasugu title bizarre Lv. 1 (0/100) race Human HP 100/100 MP 50/50 SP 0/∞ DEX 360 AGI 1010 STR 100 END 260 INT 15 WIS 15 CHA 53 LUK ù013.#4↨1V? STP 0 after a terrible but fast childhood in her first life, Kira became a shut-in, going out only for food, or anime conventions. she died a tragic, but clichè, death by the hand's wheels of Truck-Kun. in her second life she went by 2 names, Kira, and demon swordswoman, and right when she thought her clichè streak was up, she worldhopped.

"a corrupted skill doesn't sound like something good." says Kira after looking over everything that has happened over the past few weeks. she still doesn't know what to to do with the knowledge that hew friend is one of the most powerful beings in most likely every universe.

"well no time like the present, better start Homon training so that I stand a chance against Kars and DIO..."

*crash* *slam*

{as im too poor to afford Netflix, as it is on Netflix now, and that I can't find ep one of battle tendency on my usual pirating website, im going to be using a youtube video of the first ep, but it is eng dub so...}

"Im gonna make sure they lock you up for twenty years."

'that was too fast! im already at the start of cannon and in the alleyway where it happened! this is bad' Kira then looks around her for a weapon, she finds a conveniently discarded metal pipe next to her. 'thank god for that luck' she thinks as she prepares for Joseph to arrive so that she can impress him.

"take it easy, please sir, I only pinched a wallet."

"I hate bottom feeders like you prayin on the public." said fat cop.

"but see, im nice I'll do ya a solid. im gonna let you bring me 20$ every week. also half of everything you've glommed" he continued.

by this point, Kira was within striking range for an improvised sword slash to the head with the pipe, waiting for Joseph to come around the corner and do his thing.

"Hello." said a guy coming from behind the corner. 'obviously Joseph' thought Kira

"hmm? hey, it's the pigger who got his wallet lifted. this is evidence, so im gonna be keepin it." says the fat cop while holding smokey to the wall with his right hand.

"well now, how shall I put this? here is what happened. there actually is no crime since that wallet was a gift, constable."

"Hmm?"

"so then, sir. would you p[lease return both wallet and boy?

"whug you just say?"

"as I said, it was a gift... he and I are, good friends. Let him go please."

then the fat cop throws smoky to the ground, to Kira's feet.

"huh? when did yo-"

"shh you, im with, or at least gonna be, with him." Kira says while pointing to Joseph

"a good friend eh? why don't you tell me what your good friends' name is?" said the fat cop while picking his nose

"hmm."

"whats-a-matter limey, you want to see what a new york pokey is like, huh? here's a present for ya"

squish

the fat cop rubs the snot from his finger straight onto Josephs' face

"ehehehehehehe" both cops laugh

"that's curious, help me understand, why would you do something like that? it's just such an unsavory thing to do"

"there is no reason! I do what I like whenever I feel like it ya fool!! but if someone wipes a booger on your face it probably means that-" the fat cop gets punched in the face by Joseph, Kira uses that as a signal to bash the other cop in the head with the pipe.

"you made the wrong move, you stupid pig!! huh? where did the other guy go?"

"I got him already." says Kira, announcing her presence to the Jojo, while throwing away her pipe with a loud clank.

"what?! when did you get there? never mind that! crap, granny friend is gonna be furious!"

"Alright, mister pickpocket, miss dumpster-diver, whats say we hightail it on out of here?"

"Dumpster diver?!?" Kira then proceeded to attempt to beat the everliving shit out of Joseph, but was stopped by a concerned looking smokey, then told Joseph to 'hurry up or I will tell your granny what you called me'. At which point Joseph proceeded to have a mental breakdown and signal both of them along to follow him.

a few minutes later, after running like hell, an out of breath smoky says "I really owe ya one. The names Smoky. What's yours?" at which point Joseph decides to be extra and do a semi pose before saying "Joestar, Joeseph Joestar. But you can call me Jojo."

"and your's miss?"

"Kira Kitasugu"

"Jojo and Kiki hmm?"

"what? no! I hate that nickname, never say that again."

after a while longer of walking, and Joseph almost punching a taxi driver, we are with Erina walking around looking for things. it is at this point I realize that I've been friends with Joseph for about a week now. the show never really showed how long the skip between meeting smokey and Straitzo attacking so it feels strange to look back on it. One thing I've noticed is that I miss good air conditioning.

"I salute your smooth save my friend." I say, to which Jojo only smirks lightly

after the smokey monolog taxi ride, we arrive at the restaurant that the second everything begins at. a fat white mob man with a shitty hair cut comes around and discriminates against smokey, drawing red flags from Joseph and me.

"I didn't know this joint served filthy pigs like him!"

and after a short taunting match, the fat man gets up and approaches Joseph, who uses the opportunity to debut his signature 'you next line is X, right?'

"Hey, big guy! if you're looking for those brass knuckles, they aren't in your coat pocket! they're in your back pants pocket!"

"ehh??!"

"now your gonna say 'How did you know about my brass knuckles, you punk?', right?"

"How did you know about my brass knuckles, you punk?!"

"WHA-"

"i could tell from the indentations on your knuckles that you used them pretty recently. there's also blood on your shirt. a splatter of blood. you were just recently beating someone up, weren't you? so the blood on your shirt can only mean one thing; you took your coat off before beating them!"

"now your gonna say 'what does it matter, you little shit!', right?"

"what does it matter, you little shit?!" the fat man then started to rapidly punch Joseph, but it wasn't Joseph

"what the hell are you hitting? because whatever your fist fighting with, it wasn't me." Joseph explained as he stabbed the guy's hand with the blunt side of a coatrack. he then explains how he is easy to read while everyone claps in the background.

"I didn't know you could do that Jojo." I ask with a 'surprised' voice

"Well-"

"Please excuse the behavior of my associate. Madam, you're Erina Joestar, correct? Mr. Speedwagon helped me out of a fix or two, he told me all about you, back when we were in London. im glad I've found you. I have some information for you. Mr. Speedwagon has been murdered"

"what, was that?"

"according to the current rumors, the culprit was a Tibetan monk"

"a monk? was it straits?" after Joseph punched the guy, we left the restaurant to continue shopping. a few days later, on a terribly freezing day, the three of us went to a cafe. Joseph showed smokey the page in a magazine about bra padding, careful not to show me directly, I send him a glare and glance at my own, non-lacking chest, then glare at Joseph again.

"shit, she saw!" not paying attention to them, I look out the window to find Speedwagon's 'murderer'

"Jojo, 12 o' clock" I whisper to Jojo, to get things started, to which he stands up.

"uh, me? E-excuse me..." Jojo gets up and leaves the table. so i say

"hey, pervstar, where are you going?" to which he says

"what's with the nickname? the guy outside looks familiar" and then he goes out the door.