《NEET of God》Chapter 1- Problems fall from the sky

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--Reveka--

In my case problems seemed to come from the sky. I remembered when I still went to school, a lot of things seemed to love my head. Once when I was seven a book fell from the upper shelves of the library and hit me. Then, there was that time when someone hit me with a ball and not only once but almost every time we had PE. He used to say something like “headshot” all childishly and devilishly happy whenever he did that and started laughing.

And then there was that time around eleven when the bullying got a little more serious and someone decided to try hitting me with a vase… Here I thought that I was the only one to read one too many mangas. Fortunately that vase didn’t hit. Even if my head had got stronger over the years of “training”, I still think that it would have left me with a crack in my skull.

Problems seemed to come from the sky in my case however they didn’t usually end up with me crashing into a tree and …

“OUCH!”

No cracks in my skull until now? Well, that was probably not so true anymore. That hurt… a lot. However it didn’t seem to be that bad. My head had cleared up from that fog earlier and I could think a little straighter.

First let’s take mind notes on what happened.

-A weird noise was heard.

-A dragon fell.

-It crushed me.

-I was being chewed…

On that note I shivered a little and took a look at myself. My body didn’t seem to have any wounds. My bones felt fine... There was this weird feeling inside me… like something was changing… however I thought it was harmless. Anyway let’s change note.

-I was in a weird state.

-I crashed into a tree…...

Why a tree??? Where am I?

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Now she realized? Our dear Reveka was a little slow.

As to where she was.

Looking at her surroundings, there was this frown on her face, like she was trying to process what she was seeing. Trees, more trees, a lot of trees. She was in a forest. Here and there bird songs were heard. The running of a little rabbit, the flapping wings of some butterflies, the slithering motion of a snake. All indicated she was nowhere near a city and the rays of moonlight that was climbing the sky gave her a sense of dread.

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However nothing happened. The quietness of the night soon took over the small forest and its inhabitants. As for her, she muttered a curse in low voice. This kind of quietness was bad news. It made her calm and somehow lulled her into sleep.

Two, maybe three hours passed.

Reveka slept with her back against a tree and arms crossed to keep a little warm or maybe it was meant to be her defensive mode. She was sleeping in an unknown place after all.

The night gifted its silence all around the forest. Nothing was heard, not even the night owls… Weird… Reveka might have not realized it however right now she was alone in there.

In this world where magic existed, this forest was one of the few with very low concentration of magic thus the animals that lived in it were also considered… ‘animals’…weak. That’s what it meant to be magicless in here.

And here in this forest with low magic concentration something had changed. For whatever reason the magic power had started growing in rapid rate causing the magicless animals to flee out of fear.

As for our dear Reveka… I think her mind still wasn’t working well after that… so she was a bit slow on the uptake… And so she continued to sleep peacefully under the showering rays of moonlight.

Until that happened…

The sky was pierced by thunder and an earth-shattering noise entered Reveka’s eardrums and maybe broke them a little. She opened her eyes abruptly and covered her ears with her hands but they started to hurt like hell. Well, maybe not that bad but still painful enough.

Wide-eyed she forced herself to look at the cursed direction…up. The light was strong but not unbearable however it made her a little teary-eyed. Trying to find out what caused all this, she tried not to avert her eyes and hoped with all her heart there wouldn’t be some kind of other mystical creature coming out, like Bigfoot for example… God, please no.

Well God isn’t always that nice. Something was coming down… falling down right at her.

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“Ouch!”

Headshot. It hit right on spot. Good job!

After the hit it landed on the ground… standing.

“What’s with your head ya? It dared to stand in my way.” The voice that talked was childish, arrogant, prideful and angry.

Reveka couldn’t hear a thing. Her eardrums were bleeding and she was in a way squeezing her ears with her hands to stop the bleeding and pain but otherwise completely shocked at what stood before her. Gawking at the sight, she gulped and bit her lower lip slightly to calm herself.

“Why aren’t you answering ‘me’, you puny human?” The voice was angry however it calmed down a little after seeing her ears.

“Haah! No choice then. What would you do without ‘me’?”

After saying this it suddenly jumped in Reveka’s hand and touched it slightly. A small green light lit up where it touched and entered Reveka’s body in small waves. A moment later she was healed… even her head.

She was looking at the wonder before her more intently now and waited for it to move again or do something.

“Can you listen me now puny human?”

And that was shock number two. Number one being that that thing could move and heal and now… it was talking.

--Reveka--

At first I couldn’t believe my eyes. It hit me and landed gracefully in the ground, is what I thought, but it was actually floating. Then I couldn’t believe my ears because I heard it talking. The voice sounded like a girl… a tomboyish girl. So is it actually a she? No, can I say that in this case?

“Um… thank you,” I said after staring at her for a while.

“What, so you have manners? I thought you were an idiot human.”

How should I say this? This felt wrong in many levels. I was being lectured about manners from some…thing I just met.

“Who are you?” What are you? is what I wanted to ask but the important thing here is that I actually kind of initiated a conversation.

“Oh, ‘my’ name? I guess, Tis only fair that I tell you the name of your savior.”

Wasn’t the inflicted pain because of her in the first place?

“This great ‘me’ is called Bride of God.”

How should I say this? I think I have gone crazy. Is she an illusion? How come she’s talking? Why did she fall from the sky? How did he heal me in a way that you can only find in fantasy novels, movies, games and whatnot?

A lot of questions went through my mind but what came out of my mouth was a bit random.

“God is married?” What?

“What are you talking about, weird human? Of course not… Or is He? I haven’t asked.”

“Ask who?” Yep, that’s it. I’ve lost it.

“God, of course. What a stupid question. You are an idiot after all.”

I don’t want to hear that from you.

“And what do you do as Bride of God?”

“You are that stupid? What does it look like ‘I’ do?”

How should I say this? She isn’t Bigfoot, that I know for sure. She’s… slim…no, thin. She’s a bit dark-looking… She seems well made… She’s chatty and loud. Seems fit for her high and mighty attitude… She may not be that bad since she healed me… Though it was her fault for that in the first place…

Oh, forget it. Only problems come from up.

In my case, most of my problems seemed to fall from heaven (apparently) but really, I wouldn’t expect a freakily loud demonic-looking sword that claims to be a Bride.

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