HOW A LAME LONER'S LIFE IS NOT LIKE NORMAL DUDES

Chapter-9:

My Action Training And Chilling Out Ends!!

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak*

Holy shit I got shot! Well in my chest. Shit I’m gonna die again.

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak**tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak*

Well Cow Shady didn’t get shot……. Well how the fuck did he survived the bullet storm. Maybe by jumping and taking covers from their shots, but still how the fuck he’s unharmed!

“I’m gonna fuck y’all sons of bithches Mooooooooo” Saying that Cow Shady started shooting all those fuckfaced bitches.

“MOOOO*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* I’m gonna fuck y’all up. MOOOOOO *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* Fuck ya’ll losers! Go to hell ya shiets!”

“Shit I got shot 2 times in chest *coughs*!” # Gunman no.1 said that.

“Fuck how do you reload this gun?” # Gunman no.2 said that

“Wait you can’t reload? Then who the fuck’s gonna save my ass by killing that motherfucking cow!” # Gunman no.1 said that.

“Sorry pal I can’t reload to and I used up more than 20 bullets meaning I got 10 left! FUCK!” # Gunman no.3 said that.

“Man I don’t even have any bullet left. Fuck I’m dead” # Gunman no.2 said that.

“FUCK! WE HAD 7 CASUALTIES AND NOW YOU 2 ARE GONNA DIE ONE ME! FUCK YOU COW!” # Gunman no.3 said that.

“Yo I’m not dying. I’m not shot you know” # Gunman no.2 retorted.

“Yo shades you heard that.” I said putting hand on chest where I was shot.

“HELL YEAH! THEY CAN’T RELOAD SHIT LIKE YOU! MOOOOOOO” Hahaha he looks really happy now. He’s gonna butcher all this bastards.

“Yo it’s nice that they can’t reload. Thank you fucking Author for making those gunmen an idiot who can’t reload.”

“Akitao you should know that I can’t reload too.” What the fuck! “But don’t worry this mini gun has a lot of bullets left hahah- *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* Fucking Shie- *tak*”

“HOLY SHIT I KILLED THE COW” Said # Gunman no.3 after shooting.

“Yeah you did *cough* it” Said # Gunman no.1 and died.

“NOOOOOOO DON’t YOU DIE ON US!” # Gunman no.2 screamed.

“COW SHADY NOOOOOOOOO! FUCK!!! SHIIIIIT!!” I screamed as Cow Shady died.

“I’m gonna avenge you bro and also those seven who died by the cow. I killed the cow but only thing left is killing the cow’s humpbag!” #Gunman no.3 said and aimed at Akito.

Fuck he’s aiming at me! Shit I’m gonna die again and go Re:Zero! Fuck!

“But bro you’re empty! You shot the Cow ten times!” Guy no.2 said that after regaining from shock.

I heard what the retard said. Now all I got to do is kill these SHITS and get the minigun! (I’m over Cow Shady’s death because he’s gonna go Re:Zero like me. I bet it.) Okay my aim is perfect all I need to do now is shoot the bastard’s head off.

“And thank you for saying it so loudly that the humpba- *thosh* *thosh*” # Gunman no.3 got cut off as he got shot in his head.

“NOOOOOO-*thosh* Fuck my balls! You shot my ba- *thosh* Aaarghghg *thosh* *thosh* *clank* *clank* “ # Gunman no. 2 got cut off due to getting shot in his throat and later died because of two shots in head.

Woah I killed this losers yeah! Well I need to throw my 9mm away as I used all my bullets.

*throws*

And now I got to need that minigun.

*starts running towards the minigun*

R.I.P until I kill all these bastards Cow Shady.

*Picks up the minigun*

Holy Fuck! It’s heavy as whale shit!........... I mean 9 gunmen down meaning 21 to left to get killed…… I’ll kill all 21 MOTHERFUCKERS!

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I thought I’ll kill all of them but after killing 3 more bastards I’m taking cover in those flipped over cars. I kept changing to new cars as covers as those got wrecked because of this fuckers retarded shooting spree. I need to take down 18 of them now. And you should know that I’m hiding because I’m going to maked them use all their bullets up. (You know they can’t reload right?)

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* this shits aren’t even hitting me haha!

“Shit I’m out of bullets” a random Gunman said that.

“Same goes for me. FUCK!” Another random Gunman said that.

“Yo Tyga you’re the only guy with bullets left right?”

Only guy with bullets left? SWEET! I’m gonna ram all of your asses after he’s done shooting.

“Well yeah mate” Tyga aimed at the car where Akito is taking cover. And

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak*

“Fuck my weapon’s empty!”

Time for me to shoot these demented fuckers!

I got out from taking cover and aimed at my front where 5 of them are standing.

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak*

“Fuck he got ou-” *gets shot* This guy died.

“I don’t want to di-” *gets shot* He died too.

“Mother fu-” *gets shot* This guy died too.

“Fuck me bi-” *gets shot* And this new gut too.

“UUUWAAAAAAAH-” *gets shot* And died!

Mini guns are my favorite! They have so many bullets that they don’t require to be reloaded for killing 30 losers haha!

Anyways all 5 of them got fucked! I have to kill 13 more.

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“Yo pal have you noticed that grenades suddenly appeared in our vest”

“Yeah you’re right”

“We should use this to kill that faggot”

“Obviously we should!”

Fuck! The Author gave them grenades but thank God he didn’t give them free reloaded ammos haha!

“Look he’s over there”

*Throws grenade*

Holy Fucking shit I got to get out quick!

*The Grenade Drops*

*Starts running* Fuck this mini gun is heavy and it’s slowing me down….. I got to take a cover…… yeah this derbies looks good!

*Takes cover*

Yeah this place will keep me safe.

“I see him hiding over there”

*Throws grenade* Damn if I get out now I’m gonna get out I’m gonna die.

*The Grenade Drops* I got to wait till the first on explodes.

*Boooom* Yeah Great timing now! Got to run my ass of now.

*Starts running* Fuck the grenades explosion changed the looks of this place. How dangerous are these grenades? They don’t look like your typical ones.

*Booom* Fuck! I fell from the impact of the grenade but somehow I got up and started to rung my ass out.

“Did you see that?”

“Yeah I did!”

“We should use these grenades tactically to hunt that shitass down!”

“Hell yeah”

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Okay I killed 4 more bastards while I was running. And now I’m noticing that my mini gun feels lighter than before. It means I have limited ammo left. Fuck! I need to kill 9 more bastards with this much.

“Hey he’s over there!”

*Throws*

Fuck! that bastard threw the grenade! Need to get out of here!

*Starts running* Shit there’s a grenade here too! I need to take cover!

*The grenade drops*

Agh Fuck! I’m safe as I’m taking cover on a debris. Wooh!

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* I began to shoot because I know they can’t shoot me (this idiots can’t reload you know)

“You should now throw the grenade! Throw the grena-*2 shot hits head*”

“NOOOO! You killed hi-*Gets shot 3 times in chest*”

*Throws* Fuck I need to wait until the grenade explodes before I run.

*The grenade drops* Fuck it dropped behind me! I have to wait for few more seconds.

“You should throw one too”

“Yeah”

*Throws* Shit another one.

*The grenade drops* It fell under a car in my left. Fuck I’m gonna die if it explodes.

Okay why the fuck isn’t the first two exploding? I can make a run if it explo-*BOOOM*

“Can’t believe you kept calm and did everything in the plan.”

“Fuck even I don’t know how the fuck I kept my head cool”

Fuck the second guy’s grenade just exploded behind me! Why didn’t the first two exploded?..... Wait a minut-

*BOOOM*

“AAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHHAA FUUUUCKKKKKKK!” I screamed getting surprised of the explosion which happened yards away from my right.

“Fuck it didn’t get him! Shit”

“Then grab those unused grenades!”

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* I started to shoot a guy who’s running to get those two grenades which they used to lure me here. Well those won’t explode because they didn’t pull out the head.

“Quickly get the grenade which you threw!”

“Fuck he’s shooting at me! So how the fuck wil-*gets shot*”

I killed the guy who was running to get those unused grenades back.

“Shit! You idi-*gets shot*

I killed their leader like guy too.

Anyways, I picked up and put those unused grenades in my pocket.

I killed 4 of these losers meaning only 5 left.

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Okay I’m taking a covers from flipped over car to debris to flipped over car again. It’s because I want to kill this 5 bastards stealthily.

“Yo pal I just learned how you reload this shit”

What the fuck am I hearing? I need to kill that bastard.

*gets up from cover*

“Well show us then.”

*aims*

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* Fuck aiming with this heavy shit (minigun) is hard!

“Show us quick!”

“Yeah! Ummm you reload them like thi-*2 gets shot times in chest and 3 times in chest*”

Hell yeah! I just killed that bastard before he taught them.

“Fuck! Get his gun… I mean he reloaded the shit right”

Fuck I need to shoot anyone who’s running to his corpse.

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak*

“Fuck fuck fuck fu-*gets shot 4 times*”

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *clank* *clank *clank* Shit! The gun’s empty. I need to drop it.

*drops*

*sound of the minigun which I just dropped* Woah it sounded rally heavy.

*sound of some light object dropping* The fuck! Someone threw a grenade! I need to get out.

*Starts running* Yeah I’ll have to take the reloaded SMG to shoot this 3 out.

“Yo shit get the gun quick! He’s out of ammo!”

“I’m on my way shit”

*BOOOM* Wooh I started running in the right time! Anyways got to take the gun quick!

“Fuck Fuck Fuck *gets pushed*”

I pushed the man who was getting the gun. (Well I reached here quick because I’m a fast runner you know) I quickly *Picks* picked up the gun and aimed at the man who’s on the ground.

*tak* *tak* *tak* *tak*

I shoot him 4 times because this gun has 30 bullets and wasting 4 bullets won’t hurt.

*Boom*

“KYAAAAAH…. What?” where the fuck did the explosion occurred?

*Boom* *Boom* *Boom*

Yeah the sound’s coming from there. I should go and check out the place. And oh I got to kill two more.

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The fuck why did this 2 committed suicide?

“Well because they had gone retarded. End of story.” Woah out of nowhere the Author said that to me.

“Well I wanted to kill them in badass way. Anyways my training’s over right?”

“Who the fuck said so?” *Claps*

With his claps we’re in the blue background place. Wait it’s the place where I was fighting the shitman and macho gorrilla!

“You mean my training will end when I kill the shit?” I asked that.

“Yeah! All this training you did was to kill the shit.”

“Ugh okay….. But where the fuck is Cow Shady?”

“He’s dead you know.”

“What? Then bring him back”

“No….. ugh ….okay” *claps*

Okay I see the shitman appear instead of Cow Shady. Is the Author fucking with me or something………Wait it can’t be!

“Wait is this shit Cow Shady!” I asked him to make sure.

“Hell no! Cow shady’s overe there you retard.” He said pointing behind me. So I look behind. COW SHADY

“Sup dawg I’m back! I mean guess who’s back?” Cow Shady’s back!

“Welcome back bro” I walked towards him and initiated a bro fist.

“Dude us cow’s don’t brofist like goats. We *hugs* hug like bros”

“Yeah yeah I got it just let me go” *stops hugging*

“Yo Akitao look I can do Matrix” He said like a bos- I mean by putting his hands I his pockets like a cool guy.

“You can do what?” I asked with a smirk.

“Just shoot that SMG and see what I can do.” He said that. So I walked towards Author.

“Yo SuperHawtGuy, if he dies can you bring him back again” I asked the Author this to make sure that he brings Cow Shady back if he fucks up.

“Well yeah of course. Just go shoot him.”

“Okay then” I aimed Cow shady from here and *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* shooting.

Cow Shady is moving his body sideways really quickly. Woah this stunt is cool!

“Yo Dawg you see that?” He asked after completing.

“Well yeah that was cool!”

“Yo dawg we should kill the shit now.”

“Wait you know about the shit?”

“Yeah totally. Anyways let’s kill it.”

“SuperHawtGuy you head him right?” I asked the author.

“Well yeah I know what to do.” He then *claps*

With his clap the shit started running to our direction. I aimed and start *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* *tak* Shooting.

“Yo the SMG’s useless like the 9mm. Shit”

“Yo pal just kill yourself by shooting in head.” What the fuck did you say?

“What do you mean?”

“Just shoot yourself in the head and you’ll see what’ll happen!”

“Hell no! I won’t kill myself!”

“Just trust me!”

Fuck! I’ll go Re:Zero again if I die. Anyways let’s see what happens after I shoot myself. Damn it’s gonna hurt.

I aimed at my head and *tak* shot.

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. *Brainwashing*

.*Brainwashing*

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“Onii-chan wake up.” ugh what the fuck.

“ughh what time is it Kyo?” I asked Kyo after waking up from sleeping. Damn I was having a good dream about banging Nozomi.

“It’s dinner time you lazy bum. And oh Yumiko-chan just said something really juicy!” She said it with a weird happy smile on her.

“What do you mean?” I asked her. I know what she means though.

“You’re dating Nozomi-nee….kyaaaaaaaaa! Is it true?” okay that scream was really unnecessary.

“Ummm yeah I am” I answered with an intentional creepy grin.

“Onii-chan you look really creepy…..”

“I know!”

“Anyways how long was I sleeping?”

“2 hours”

“I see. Thank you for telling me that.” Wait I’m not the kind of guy who’ll thank his sister.

“Anyways dinner’s ready. Go wash your hands and have dinner.”

“Ugh why are you acting like mom?”

“Because I’m mature hmpf”

“………….”

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“Thank you for the food.” After finishing dinner I was heading to take bath.

“Hey Akito I heard you’re dating Sakamoto’s daughter.” How the hell did you know!

“Who told you that?” I asked my father.

“Sakamoto himself.” Damn Nozomi for telling this to his father.

“Well yeah I’m dating her.”

“I also heard you proposed her with a ring.” Nozomi told that too! Fuck it’s too embarrassing!

“Onii-chan you proposed her! KYAAAAAAH”

“Wait seriously! How did you get the money?” Mom asked with surprised tone. I can hear the happiness under that tone.

“Don’t scream while you’re eating Kyo. It’s a bad manner” Genji scolding Kyo in the background.

“Ugh I don’t know.” I seriously don’t know how I got ring.

“Sorry dad……Teehee~” Said Kyo making a cutesy pose in the background.

“Be serious with me Akito.”

“My daughter is so cute like her mom….waaah I’m in heaven!” Said Genji in the background.

“From my monthly savings you give duh.” Well I lied to her because she’s pissing me off for some unknown reason.

“Dad stop being creepy like onii-chan please!” said Kyo in the background.

“Of course haha! You used all your savings to buy her a ring…. How romantic!” I have nothing to say.

“Hey I’m more romantic than him you know.” Said dad proudly while putting his thumb in his chest.

“Of course you are honey.” Mom said that while blushing. The fuck is this shit?

“Make love in your room you two” After saying that I ran out of the room. I could hear Kyo laughing really hard though.

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“AAAGGHHHHh taking bath feels so good!”

*knock* knock*

“Who’s there?” I asked the one who’s knocking the sliding door.

*Slides and the door open*

“You’re death!” What the fuck! I see a masked man wearing a scary mask wearing a loincloth enter the bathroom. How the fuck did he unlocked the locked doo- Oh its dad.

“Kyaaaaaaah someone save me” I fakely screamed.

“Give more emotions in your voice kid!” Okay this guy doesn’t sound like dad. He then took of his mask. Who the fuck is this Super Hot Guy!

“Who the fuck are you?” I asked the stranger.

He then took off his clothes I closed my eyes at that. (Seriously why am I closing my eyes? He can kill me now right? But I don’t want to see his dick)

What the fuck is going on!

“Yo Akitao open your eyes.” I opened as he ordered. And asked him “How do you know my name and how did you get here stranger.”. Hey I don’t talk like clichéd slice of life Anime MC’s.

“Well I’m SuperHawtGuy and you know me……. I’m the guy from the dream you just watched.”

“What dream?”

“The one with Cow Shady and your action training you know.” What the fuck is he saying?

“I dreamt about banging my girlfr- actually why do you care…. I mean what the fuck are you talking about?” All my self-worth is gone because I’m not being like me.

“Of course! Why did I forget I brainwashed you.” *claps*

“HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE SUPERHAWTGUY?” I asked as I remembered everything.

“Well to talk with you…….surprise!”

“Fuck……what happened to my parents and everyone?”

“I paused everyone I mean the world.”

“Okay…… so what do you want to talk about”

“So….. Why are you doing this?”

“Well for plot purposes.”

“Okay…….”

“Oh you’ll get retarded for few days and its for plot purpose too. Don’t ask anything.”

“……………” I stayed silent for a while.

“BYE MOTHERFUCKER” Wait what? The meeting’s over? *Bam*

“Okay it will make you sleep in the tub. Anyways, I need to get out!” *claps*

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“Akito my son no don’t die on me!” I feel a warm sensation on my lips and feeling warm air pass………… Wait it can’t be.. I moved my tongue a bit…. Fuck

I pushed the guy blowing me air away. Fuck I just kissed……dad?

“Akito you’re alive!” He got up quickly hugged me.

“Shit dad you just kissed me! Fuck Ewww I want to throw up! Shit!” he patted my back at that.

“I just saved your life son. You wer-” I cut him off by saying “I’ll tell mom you kissed me!”

“Wait son it was to save yo-”

“MOM DAD’S GAY FOR M-” he put his hand on my mouth and said “Son you were drowning in the tub…… that’s why I performed the CPR…… And I’m not gay you know!”

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After the awkward moment with my dad I got on my bed.

*Beep* *Beep*

Fuck I bet Nozomi’s calling me.

I checked the caller. Yeah its her

I pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hello!” What’s with the cheery tone.

“Nozomi it’s you right?” Why am I starting a conversation with my girlfriend like this?

“Yeah! How did you know?” Fuck I’m dating an idiot.

“You think I’m a retard for not saving your number.”

“When did I ever call you?”

“The day you and me were one”

“When did we have sex?”

“I meant the day you thought I was about to rape you.”

“Oh! I totally forgot about that hehehe” Fuck this sort of chat is bad for my heart.

“Anyways why the fuck did you called”

“Don’t swear! And is it a crime for me to talk with my boyfriend?” Okay things are going really cheesy.

“Stop sounding like that……. Okay what do couples talk about in phone?” Fuck why am I asking such embarrassing things? Shit!

“Well love and stuffs…….. Wait you never said I love you!”

“Well neither did you. And I’m not in mood for saying riajuu-ish stuff like that.”

“Well I never expected to hear that from a shy guy like you hmpf” Woah she sounds angry. I want to tease her more!

“Well you know me and my dad kissed today..” Why the fuck did I say that? Why? Just Why!!!!?

“You mean you cheated on me for your dad!!!…. Are you bisexual?? I mean What the HELL?” What the fuck?

“Hey I’m not a fucking bisexual or a gay. Why the hell did you assumed me as gay?”

“I’ve read a few BL mangas about it-”

“You got fucked up taste.”

“I’m not a Fujoshii and you owe me an explanation of you kissing your ……dad.”

“Okay the thing was-”

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After I explained that she started to laugh hard. Really hard.

“HAHAHAHA He thought you were dead HAHAHA”

“Stop laughing!” Damn it’s embarrassing.

“No I won’t HAHAHAHAHAH” Guess it’s time to act out of character and be a riajuu.

“I Love you Nozomi! I REALLY LOVE YOU” Did I really had to scream?

“Ugghhhh” I bet she’s blushing. “I love you too” Holy shit! First time ever I felt my heart beating like this. I bet I’m blushing too.

“I Ugh……..Love you more” The fuck did I just said?

“…….I Love you more than you imagine” Holy shit! I wanna marry her!

“Good then good night I’m cutting off the call” I was about to cut the call of but

“Don’t cut off! I want to talk more you know hehe”

“Well what should we talk about then?

“About things we like, things we watch, things we do and much more.”

“Fine by me.”

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We talked about a lot of things. I learned many things about her too from talking. And she learned about me. Well somehow it sort of makes me feel happy.

“Okay we talked to much now so good night” I tell her that.

“Yeah you’re right…… You know I love you.”

“Yeah I know.”

“Love me back???”

“Oh…ugh I love you too and ummm good night” why is it really hard to cut off the call!

“Good night Akito~”

She cuts the call of first. Wooh that was tough. Anyways I got to sleep now.

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Why the fuck can’t I sleep? Why am I just thinking about her? FUCK!

To be Continued