The box opened on silent hinges, revealing an interior from which no light reflected. It was a pure void, a hole in the world.

I ran my hands into the box, moving carefully for fear of getting stabbed by a nail or something. The interior of the box was lined in a soft vantablack velvet that felt delightful on my skin, and I actually paused for a moment to stroke it. There was a symbol embossed on the center of each side. It might have been a letter, or a logo or pictograph, but not in any language I knew.

I leaned forward, the box being deep enough that I could get my hands in up to the elbows, and continued exploring. In the center of the box my fingers touched something. It was cylindrical, about fifty centimeters long and my two hands could encompass its circumference. The surface was completely smooth except for two strips along the length that felt rougher.

I lifted the object out, but I had no better success seeing it than when it was in its lightless cradle. It blended so perfectly with its background that it looked like I was miming the act of holding something.

ec4ce7: Prospective Operator recognized. Stand by for genetic identification.

Something jabbed into my thumb and I jumped. Whatever it was had been so thin and so fast that it wasn't painful, exactly. More like...cold. Still unpleasant.

ec4ce7: Genetic test inconclusive. Resampling.

"Yow!" This time it had been actively painful and I dropped it. Carl and Donut were staring at me in confusion.

"Who are you and why are you stabbing me?!" I demanded, sucking on the small drop of blood that oozed from my thumb.

There was no reply until I groped around on the table and found the cylinder again, being careful not to accidentally bump it off the table where it might roll away. If it did, I knew that I would never find it.

ec4ce7: Genetic test inconclusive. Secondary identification mode, 'voiceprint', matches preprogrammed characteristics of intended Operator. State identity.

"What?"

"Katia, who are you talking to?" Carl asked.

ec4ce7: Error.

"It's a chat from someone I don't know named 'ec4ce7'. I think it's this thing." I hefted the invisible object.

ec4ce7: Repeat: Genetic testing inconclusive. Seeking alternative modes of Operator identification. State identity.

"Katia Grim."

ec4ce7: Stated identity and secondary identification mechanism accordant. Genetic sampling inconclusive and not self-consistent. Seeking additional confirmation. State identity of Benefactor.

"Princess Formidable of the Skull Empire."

ec4ce7: State identities of primary companions.

I paused, unsure of who it was referencing. "I'm currently traveling with Carl and Donut. Um, Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk. Before this I was with Hekla and her team, Brynhild's Daughters."

ec4ce7: State race and professional affiliation.

"I'm a doppelganger and a Monster Truck Driver."

ec4ce7: State name of game guide.

"Bannon."

ec4ce7: State Earth nation of origin.

I frowned. "Iceland."

ec4ce7: State Earth nation in which Katia Grim spent a summer.

What was happening here? How...oh. These were details that had been on my feed.

"I spent a summer in Russia. I also traveled through the Tokyo subway system as a child despite being unable to speak the language. My base human form is a woman—an Earth human female—with light skin and black hair, 166 centimeters tall. I speak Icelandic, Russian, German, and English. The first mob I ever killed was a...a 'Krazy Kitteh', a red-and-brown cat with one fang." I actually had to think for a moment to get that one. It seemed like a lifetime ago. "I used the bathroom within the first hour or so of entering the dungeon. My first saferoom was a McDonalds with a ballpit."

ec4ce7: Place eyes against scanner for retinal identification.

Two tiny patches of space between my hands shivered and turned black. I hesitated.

This was a Benefactor Box. Princess Formidable had no reason to want to hurt me, but this thing had already jabbed me with needles by surprise.

"Katia? Are you all right?" Donut asked.

"I'm fine. It wants to do a retinal scan and I'm a little nervous." I told myself not to be silly. I raised the cylinder horizontally and put it up to my eyes.

ec4ce7: Retinal patterns match, 99.97%. Skull topology match: 79.42%. Error. External communication infrastructure absent, no resort to Higher possible. Mission priority: Alpha-7; resolution required. Retinal, voiceprint, informational patterns valid and consistent. Genetic patterns inconclusive. Topological patterns contraindicate. Operator accepted. Welcome, Katia Grim.

"Um...thank you? Who are you?"

ec4ce7: ASI generation commencing. State preferred gender of ASI.

"What? Who or what is 'ASI'?"

ec4ce7: ASI is Assistive Synthetic Intelligence. State preferred gender.

"Preferred gender? I don't know what you're talking about."

ec4ce7: Gender refers to a category of social expectations of an individual as specified by common mores of the local culture. In most cultures gender is strongly influenced by social status as indicated by wealth and/or appearance. In some cultures gender is influenced by or identical to biological sexuality. In some cultures gender is influenced by or identical to religious practice. Examples of gender-specifying terms include: Asod. Feb. Female. Gul. Male. Neuter. Zelqu. 247 more examples available. Continue list?"

"Uh...no. You're asking me what gender I want my assistant to be?"

ec4ce7: Correct.

"Male, I guess?"

ec4ce7: Name five positive personal descriptors.

"Um...loyal, friendly, intelligent, funny..." Gah, my mind was completely blank. "Hard-working?"

ec4ce7: Name five negative personal descriptors.

"Liar, dishonest, abusive, cruel, stupid, lazy, boring...sorry, that's more than five."

ec4ce7: Additional input is not disadvantageous. For sense of humor, state preference: Dry, sharp, dirty, raucous, insightful, cutting.

That was a weird set of choices. "Dry?"

ec4ce7: Dry humor refers to—"

"I know what it means. I was choosing it."

ec4ce7: Intonation indicated request for information. Selection noted. Choose preferred motivational style: Forceful, supportive, sarcastic, nurturing.

Well, that didn't sound alarming. "Supportive."

ec4ce7: Place eyes against scanner and position head strap.

Once again the two black dots appeared. Carl and Donut were looking at me with something that varied between curiosity and concern; I ignored it and lifted the scanner to my face. I felt around for the head strap and looped it over my head. It immediately cinched painfully tight, preventing me from pulling away.

Light flared and flickered, so bright that I jerked back. The lights went on for two, maybe three seconds, and then they faded and I was released.

"Gah! What was that?!" I demanded, rubbing my eyes to get the spots out.

ec4ce7: Perceived flickering consisted of 517,891 potential physical avatars. Optimal physical characteristics chosen based on physiological responses. ASI in gestation. ASI will be decanted in three seconds. Please equip your field harness.

"What?"

There was no response, but I felt two straps suddenly dangle loose from the cylinder. Not knowing what else to do, I slung it over my shoulder like a purse.

ec4ce7: Improper positioning. Please equip your harness with both arms such that it will be secure under combat conditions. Vertical placement along spine recommended.

Bemused, I shifted the still-invisible cylinder around so that I was wearing it like a backpack. I forebore to mention that, as a doppelganger, the location and even existence of a spine was somewhat arbitrary.

ec4ce7: Skill and fortune to you, Operator. Zetotak myanis.

"What? What is 'Zetotak myanis'?

Silence.

"Hello? ec4ce7? Are you there?"

"Hello, Ms Katia."