《Just For Fun》Chapter 35: He's Oprah for men
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Maria was a bit bored.
Maya and she had been doing a few missions lately… but this area really didn’t have much selection anymore. Since the borders had been blocked the only jobs left had been fetch quests and guarding travelers needlessly…. “So boring!” she says before downing the rest of her beer.
She was currently in a tavern close to the adventurer’s office and boy was it dead, unlike just yesterday, there were so few patrons you could actually count them on just your hands. Like every other building in this district the tavern was made of wood, but unlike the rest of the buildings this one had stale beer stains on the floors and some of the table, colored glass in the windows and blood stains in one corner… it wasn’t the classiest of places…
Getting off of her seat Maria heads to the bar to get herself another, when she over hears the conversation of a few “off duty” military officials.
“…so the bugger really ordered everyone to label us deserters?” one soldier with two arrows asks the rest.
From their shoulders Maria could see that they were all at least corporals with just a few sergeants mixed in, in total there were about ten men packed into the booth enjoying their beers.
“Yeah the idiot did!” a sergeant tells them “Little mister straight to the east doesn’t seem to know the rules, “all military personal of the council have the right to one night of leave in the event the army travels though their place of residence”.” He quotes and everyone starts to laugh.
Another sergeant points at a small book on the table and everyone howls all the harder “The general told me to give him this book, the dumbass said he didn’t need it.”
Leaning a little closer Maria looks at the book in the dim light and just manages to read the title “The council: Military rules of conduct” was written on it.
“How long before he breaks a really major rule and someone gives him a Glasgow smile before dumping him in the sink with a second one a little lower?” one corporeal asks a few others. “I give it a week!”
“No way your being too kind, that ass is going down way sooner than that! I heard a few of the boys were going to do it tonight.” One of those guys says
“Let’s make this interesting!” one of the other say “I bet two hundred HD that bugger gets his dick cut off and shoved up his ass before the army can even see the eastern frontier!”
“Oh you’re on!” several men say and meet his bet “Belly slit, tomorrow!” “Hung, two days!” “Car hauled, five days from now!”
Maria walks over to them from where she was listening and leans forwards so her breasts are visible through her shirt “Hey guys!” she purrs “did I hear you right? The armies heading east?”
The guys ogle her fairly voluminous breast and one of them decides to tell her pretty quickly “Yeah, that’s about it that twit Alan is leading the army to the east… and we were just wondering if you’d like to have a drink with us!”
A bunch of the others agree with him and they make a spot for her right in the middle. Maria was thinking about going east the moment she heard this…
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But Maya wasn’t back from the academy yet and it was getting late so with a smile on her face and a jiggle of her bosom Maria takes the spot between the soldiers and starts enjoying their admiration while sipping a beer they bought her and joking with them about Alan, who she had only met once.
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Over the course of that day most of the players left the original hot zone and slowly made their way towards the east… not because they liked the east very much but since it was the only area easily open for them… that had quests… for most it was a no brainer but a few brave souls did head out past Nebel’s traps or into the orc lands.
Their survival rates on the other hand convinced even more to go that way…
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Most players logged out for the night since today that night was the day in real life but a few players kept on playing among them but not near them was Maximus who was getting ready for his guest. Sweeping out a path through the city was nearly an impossible task with the sheer numbers the rat men had running around like crazy but clearing out the immediate area a well as making signs to show her the way wasn’t very hard.
With a spray can and his sword he got to work laying arrows down that pointed towards the police station, all of the arrows were on the roofs so the rat men would be able to find them and with a simple message to Lucca, she knew where to start.
Having finished the arrows Maximus sets to work on the second job he had set for himself, the week end was coming and most serious gamers would pay for as much of it they could, knowing that she would be serious… because Nebel was… he had to prepare a room for her as well.
The room itself was the easy part, simple break a few cheap desks and you have either ply wood or cheap metal panels and with these and some wiring he found in a cabinet he set about covering the bars of one of the cells.
The job was more than cheap and twice as ugly when he was done but she would have a nice place to sleep once he found a bed that is.
Having decided that she needed a real bed more than he, Maximus lowered his standard and simply put his own bed into her room… the trick was now to find something for himself but that was easier said then done.
Of the fifty houses he had checked out, forty nine of them were completely covered in filth and the last one just had all the beds soaked through…
It wasn’t ideal but from that one house he looted all of the sheets, a gas stove, a set of cutlery, plates, bowls, cups, a few chairs and even a coffee table that he took apart and rebuilt in the area of the jail that had been the central office space.
The heavier sheets he made into strips before weaving them together to form a makeshift hammock, this he put in his cell to use as his bed. All finished with his work, Maximus sits down in one of the fold out chairs and started cooking some canned beans he had acquired, he had noticed that this body, while able to go three times the time without food or water, still deteriorated in ability even when it wasn’t hungry if enough time had passed to make the real him hungry.
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So unlike most players he made sure to keep a normal eating schedule in game as well as outside it.
After eating his beans he also logs out and heads to the university, since he did have a few appointments for the afternoon that he simply couldn’t miss, well actually that and he didn’t want to…
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Max “Maximus” Baker was sitting in his office waiting for his first appointment, as part of his job he had to monitor the mental health of the students of the university.
It was of course preferable for most people that they never have to take the cure for mental illnesses at all… even if he personally enjoyed the effect of it so much!
Today was insecure girl day! His absolute favorite! Throughout this day he would have two digits of women come through his door and tell him all about their problems… well that was kind of blah but what came afterwards was always fun!
To solve their issues he would usually just tell them to stop worrying or beat up whoever bullied them and if the first one didn’t work which it usually didn’t he would tell them all their problems were from lack of confidence and prescribe twenty CCs of male bodily fluids…
He always cracked up when he told them that, but those three were really all he needed to do since any serious mental issues were solved by the cure.
He absolutely loved telling young innocent women that if their problem wasn’t related to some major issue in their brain, which would require the cure, it was confidence related, which studies had shown was treatable with getting some… he was just sad that he also had to tell them that achieving something would also work…
There was also a few other things that he could relate to sex and he always did since if it wasn’t they would have already gotten their diagnosis in the mail.
He had quite the easy job ever since he helped out that team in making the cure. Gone forever was the fate of all of the real mental issues! No longer was there any need for worry when treating.
“Thank god I’m not a relationship expert, they actually have to take their job seriously!” Max says to himself just as his next patient walks in.
“Hi doctor Baker.” The small girl says before jumping on to a seat in front of him.
“Oh hi what can I do for you today, Selfi?” Max asks her
“Oh I was just feeling a bit down and I was wondering what I should do…” the girl says fidgeting and looking at the white marble floor of his office.
“Oh really tell me all about it.” He says putting his fingers together while laughing on the inside.
“Well I got on the scale this morning and I had gained three pounds since last week… and then there was a test that I failed this morning…” the girl named Selfi tells him.
“Yes, ok go on.” He gives her a smile and pours her a cup of coffee that he had prepared beforehand “I need to know all about it, it might be serious.”
“Well…” she continues telling him about her day while sipping her coffee.
“OK, I think that’s all I need.” Max tells her, other than the things he usually prescribed there was another thing that some people needed… to hear themselves talk but that didn’t stop him from having his fun, people need to be more liberal was his motto “You don’t have any mental illness so there isn’t much I can do, it sounds like your just having a bad day. For the weight gain you could be just filling in but if you’re worried about it you could exercise more I guess... but my suggestion is to go get some!”
She puts a surprised look on her face “What?”
“Well for exercise to work it needs to be done daily, jogging for example ruins your knees and en larges your heart so I can’t really suggest it.” He smiles widely “But sex is all natural performed staying relatively still and helps your immune system strengthen along with other things all good for your health.”
“Umm doctor I’m not sure you should be suggesting something like this…” the girl says drawing a bit away from him…
“I noticed from your description of your day that you didn’t mention a boyfriend… did you perhaps dump one recently?” he asks her to stop her line of reasoning.
“Well actually my girl friend…” the girl mutters
“Well there you go, the weight gain is from having less exercise, since you just broke up. I think we’re about done here get yourself some good old rebound sex.” He opens the door for the girl and she walks out with an unsure smile barely held on her face.
“Hey Maximus!” another girl yells bounding into the room with a wide smile on her face.
“Oh hi Andrea what’s up!?” Maximus says giving her the other half of the high five she was offering
“I reached your suggested weekly quota!” she says smiling while sitting on the chair Selfi had just vacated.
Max looks behind her and sees Selfi listening in, obviously thinking “what’s this girl so happy about…” “That’s great Andrea so how do you feel?”
“Awesome!” she tells him “Sex at least once a day was just what I needed…!”
Nebel walking by the office looks through the door and meets Max’s gaze. Chris walking beside him smirks “Maximus is the man, he is our lord and savior!”
A few guys from Nebel’s class that were walking down the hall hear Chris’ comment, smile and nod.
“Chance!” Chris says gives the guys the peace symbol and heads over to talk with Selfi…
I was wondering what i should put in the last few hundred words, then out of the blue it hit me, one of my characters is a expert on the brain from structure to issues... what would he actually do for a living if a cure-all had cleaned all those issues away and all that was left was insecurities and phobias?
my idea, become a sex pusher since drugs are no longer needed...
Hope you like me adding even one more bit of crazy!
tell me what you think!
thanks once more for everyone ones thanks!
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ɪɴᴇxᴘʟɪᴄᴀʙʟᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ
Энэ бол хувь тавилан. Учирах ёстой хүмүүс учирч, уулзах ёстой хүмүүс уулздаг. Би чамтай сэтгэл зүрхээрээ холбогдсон Жон Жонгүг...©_ᴠɴᴀʙɪ🦋
8 121Max Level Runemage returns to earth.
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8 162Trip to The Homeland
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8 154•Crush poems•
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8 210Obsession 《Michael Myers Fanfic》
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8 166The Blood Queen
The rain fell from the sky with ferocity and smashed into the pavement filling the air with the sound of a stampede. The noise was deafening as I struggled to stand up. The blood from my wound was covering the ground beneath me and I covered it with my hand as I pushed off the pavement. On my feet now I struggled to step towards the grass. Through the howling wind and pounding raindrops I could hear what sounded like a chant, calling me and drawing me towards the cliffs edge. "Vienna, my Queen, my blood Queen" I started to move my feet faster until I could run towards the edge. Only when I was at the edge did I turn and look back one last time at the castle behind me. I could see him standing on the balcony, he was screaming my name. I could just hear it over the rain. I unclipped my red cape and whispered goodbye to him. As he jumped off the balcony to run towards me I leaned backwards and let my body fall with the rushing water to the river far down below. I carried her whispers with me to the dark edge until they vanished.
8 168