Nebel had gotten an idea… but he really didn't want to do it! The idea wasn’t what to do, well not what to do to the orcs but a way to figure it out… damn it really seemed like he would have to…

Nebel opens his display and goes through the available applications, at the end of the list is a new one that had been added a few days ago automatically… it was Bö’s information page…

Nebel hesitantly opens the in game guide made by his sister and is immediately stabbed in the eye by a sharpened lollipop, hit by candy cane shrapnel and sprayed by rainbow colored lickerish…

Her page was the perfect example of… let’s say a my space page of a little girl… the corners were decorated with stars, the banner was a rainbow and everything was splashed with the seven general colors there was barely any black or white on the page and browns or grays forget about it…

After throwing up off the side of the truck they were on, which was a flat bed, with earth moving equipment by the way, Nebel returns to his attempt to read bo’s site after assuring Rosa he was just having a “cuteness overload”. He loves his sister he really does but sometimes she is just so cute it hurts… not that he doesn’t like cute it’s just…. Now look what this scene has done even the narrator is rambling…

Nebel scrolls down the page past the unicorns with transport written beside it, an old man and a caulk board that had training splashed across it and a cutesy picture of someone handing out a potion that said shop prices when he scrolled over it before coming to a menu option with a bunch of furry werewolves, bald goblins and a bunny rabbit chewing on a carrot entitled “Monstroumanac” (monstrous almanac).

Nebel pokes the bunny in the face and it makes a motion of biting his finger, a new page opens that has monstrous mutants listed down the middle. Nebel selects one and isn’t too surprised that his sister the eternal perfectionist had gathered that much information, each mutant had a current known location, feeding habits, sense of smell rating, vision rating, maximum lifespan, regular body temperature and just about every other type of rating you could imagine… all portrayed by chibis of either warriors mages or Bö herself battling that mutant, One Nebel notice was actually an animation of Bö setting a bunny on fire and it running in circles before showing her eating it in three huge bites…

Nebel signs and selects the option titled orcs, the page updates the content to feature the six to seven foot tall… as Nebel saw the average height was… as three chibis of chubby heavily muscled ugly guys with cute weapons, the three were colored bright yellow, green and purple…

Nebel runs down the list and notices a few of the details are things like favorite food, least favorite game and cuddliness… he selects favorite food and notices a preference/dislike switch and when he selects a question mark tool it says “Place this detail type always at the top or bottom of the page.” He moves his hand to dislike favorite food before stopping and deciding it could be useful. Nebel opens the orcs favorite food to reveal “Human kebabs”

“HOW DID SHE EVEN FIND THAT OUT!!!!” Nebel yells and grabs his head. Rosa looks over his shoulder and starts chuckling before opening the page on her display and switching expression between so cute and laughing her head off.

Nebel opens a few more details:

-Sleep Routine: it showed the purple orc chibi sleeping at night and a barbarian looking chibi swinging an axe down.

-Brute Strength: the yellow orc chibi was lifting a large stone with a confused female mage chibi standing on top.

-Dexterity: the green orc chibi could be seen crushing a boulder after missing a cringing Bö chibi and crushing his hammers grip too.

The information was amazingly varied and Nebel was sure the information would help anyone fighting them but he still hadn’t found… wait that was a good one there. Nebel looks at the dexterity once more… “Maybe if I, hmmm… that might work too….” Nebel starts mumbling as he read some more about orcs.

Nebel starts to work on a proto type while he waits to arrive, he had gotten a few ideas but due to his magic types being bad with orcs defense and weight he had decided to go with a more direct approach.

His idea was to exaggerate their clumsiness and to cool their bodies by heating his weapon, the info stated that when the orcs were made the idiotic guy that did it used lizard DNA to make them the colors they were… yeah seriously a reason like that… this apparently lead to them not having skin per say more like large scales that looked like skin if you didn’t see the edges, the scales themselves were really thin and offered practically no defense against piercing but this weird decision of a psychopath had made the orcs neither mammals nor reptiles…

They would apparently massively shed every few months and they were “half cold blooded” but they still had pregnancy and milk… Nebel had no way of knowing how that could be possible but he thought of an idea.

The orcs would not go into a coma when they were cold but they would become sluggish and tired. Nebel thought about making a permanent spell on his spear that made a small eruption of flame or maybe a explosion come out of the back of the weapon, this spell wouldn’t be solar powered, like the rest of his spells but would instead be powered by and activated by body heat getting within three inches of the tip.

This would cause the strength of the following attack to increase along with the true goal, the sapping of the orcs heat.

The other idea he came up with was a little stranger, he would make a “Hex” and place it on everyone’s shields… or whatever they blocked with! He coined it a hex since the permanent spell instead of affecting the user would copy itself over the aggressor’s weapon, there it would activate the second the weapon either touched the ground or was lifted high overhead.

The “Hex” would then create a vector that would pull the weapon down towards the ground. The power would also be from body heat but would have a backup charge that the shields would gather and give to the aggressor’s weapon when the hex copied over.

With these two ideas Nebel was sure that the humans fighting the orcs would have no problem dealing with them.

Having arrived at the farmlands, Nebel, Rosa and the soldiers bringing supplies, the machinery had been dropped off a while back. They look around for the people they were supposed to meet but they just aren’t anywhere in sight. As the soldiers start calling their superiors and Rosa keeps laughing about bo’s site, Nebel walks around a bit and decides to enter an abandoned barn just off the road… inside he finds the entirety of the western frontiers forces sleeping on hay mattresses… no lookouts, no defenses, traps, alarms or… anything…

Nebel signs and walks back to the soldiers and informs them; two of the soldiers don’t believe him and run to the barn. Nebel waits for them and when they get back they have poker faces on, they tell the other soldiers what they saw and the soldiers show various different expressions including: disgust, exasperation and many other expression you don’t want to have made about you.

After the soldiers finish unloading the supplies into the part of the barn not covered in sleeping idiots, Nebel having found Mike and Nayder a while before he decides to wake them up… seriously he thought the sounds of the soldiers backing up to the barn after opening the doors and then stomping through loaded down with supplies would have been enough…

Nebel prods them with a stick, hits them with a paper fan, yells in their ears and nothing? He decides to wait and Rosa leans down against him while looking at chibis.

An hour passes and the idiots finally start waking up… a little bit later and after being surprised by the magically appearing found and mages, the whole group starts eating while listening to Nebel’s idea.

“Sounds good!” Nayder says while ripping open a bag of chips “One problem! Can the two of you do all that?”

Nebel covers his eyes “Of course none of them are real mages…” he thinks

“Didn’t any of you take the first free class?” Rosa asks a little confused, of the group of fifty people, five raise their hands.

“But none of us have been back to do anymore…” Mike says “We didn’t have the time!”

“Well ok, whatever, for those that don’t know I’m Nebel.” Nebel tells them “And this is my lovely assistant Rosa.”

Rosa waves at the men and some of them wave back “We already know, haven’t you checked your sister’s “blog”?” one of them says.

Another one adds on “There’s a whole page label “Main Characters”, that so far has the names and faces of all the bigwigs of the army , details on the representatives and every little thing on “Onii-sama!”.”

Nebel rubs his temples and states “Well anyway, Rosa and I are going to work on your gear and then join you in battle.”

Nayder looks around the barn “Any questions?” not a peep is heard… Nayder signs “Ok then, Nebel get to it and Mike, where’s the sentry?”

Mike laughs “Umm sir, the last watch was yours…”

“These guys seriously need help…” Nebel thinks to himself as he gathers their weapons, it actually took him a while since all of their weapons were heavy ones, Axes, hammers, two-handed swords, not a single light one in the bunch… no shields either… guess the hex will go on their weapons.

Nebel and Rosa get to work implementing the hex on their weapons, while the men keep pigging down on the supplies, sometimes they switched it out for the other permanent spell, like for the two handed sword which were slightly easier to handle and so easier to hit the enemy with or when the pole axe was very long or hard a wooden handle… since blocking with one of those would be a bad idea.

An hour later Nebel and Rosa are too tired and mentally depleted to continue so they eat some of the supplies while talking to Nayder and Mike. Apparently the group had been raiding orc camps during the night and that was the reason they had been dead tired, the orcs of course were just dead.

“The info from bo’s page is partly my handy work.” Nayder informs Nebel “I dissected one of the orcs, for fun that’s how I found out about their mammal/reptile status, that’s when I got interested, I started capturing them and testing out a few theories…”

Nayder continues talking after making cutting motions and lots of other, some indescribable, motions. “And then little bo came here yesterday and asked me for my findings… I’m not even sure who told her but i did give the little tike the details and a few pictures I took and she smiled gave me a hug and ran off so fast I was stunned…”

“Oh yeah!” Nayder says “Then there was that girl that came along a while after Bö… she was pretty tired but she didn’t talk much all she asked was “Bö?” and when I told her she had already left she bowed and then after looking at the ground for a while ran off the same way Bö went, guess she was tracking her.”

“Must be my cousin, she wanted to talk to Bö.” Nebel tells him “I had forgotten about that actually…” Nebel starts to get worried “I guess I’m going to have to deal with that later…”

lol about the chapter name i call sleep guys "La fea durmienta" as a joke its a sleeping beauty joke in english its roughly "The ugly Sleeper" but i thought it sounded better that way.

i have this image in my head of a page full of cute things and chibis acting the part of the pip boy (for those that don't know google it along with bobble heads you'll love them guaranteed) i actually would like to draw goblin chibis walking into the vector trap but i suck at drawing, i might ask a friend of mine to draw them... if i do i'll post them in the maps thread.

hope everyone likes it comment, rate etc it helps me make this better!