《The Downward Spiral》Chapter 3. The Bell Tolls for Me
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On our way to Lily's house, we were forced to an immediate halt for almost 45 minutes on the toll bridge that led into her hometown. A police officer standing in front of my vehicle was making circles with his hands and pointing us back the direction we came from.
A bunch of crew members in bright yellow reflective vests were blocking the entire area behind him and the entire bridge was lit up with so many bright white lights that it was hard to see his face. I rolled the window down when he approached my side.
"Sorry folks, you can't come this way."
Lily appeared from the back seat and hovered over my lap.
"Why is the road blocked?" She asked him.
He tilted his hat politely at her. "Sorry ma'am, but we are not letting anyone else into the city tonight."
"Again, I'm asking why not? I live that way!" Lily hissed back.
He took an insulted step back. "Look I'm sorry but we are just following the mayor's orders. The hospital has been flooded all day with nonstop patients. The city's been overpopulated and to be frank with you darlin it's been a long night in general. Give us a break already."
Lily's evil glare was beginning to intimidate him and he let out a huge sigh. "Look hun, I'm sure everything will be fine by the morning. You can come back then. So please, let us do our job. There's still tons of people behind you that we have to give the bad news to."
We all exchanged glances and Lily let out an irritated huff before falling back into her seat.
"Thank you. Y'all have a nice night."
I turned back around and headed towards my apartment. We drove in silence until Ray cleared his throat.
"Sorry...uh..Lily. If you want, I'm sure Sasha won't mind if you spend the night with us, right sis?"
"Uh, yeah of course." I added, nodding my head.
She sniffled and I saw a tear run down her face in the rear view mirror. I never knew how to comfort people. In fact, it made me feel awkward seeing people cry. I wanted to say something to her, but nothing was coming to mind. I rubbed the back of my neck and kept my mouth shut.
"Thanks Raymond." She said finally.
I ran my fingers through my bloody blonde hair nervously. Damn, this was turning out to be a shit night for all of us.
The Next Morning
"Are Krispy Krackers chips safe to eat? I'm Linda Vargas with the channel 9 morning news."
As I walked into the living room with a bowl of cereal, I found my brother channel surfing.
"What's going on?" I asked while plopping down on the couch next to him.
"I don't know but this damn news story is on everything." He said restless. "Look."
He hit the button on the remote a bunch of times until the screen was a blur of pictures. Noticeably though, each channel was nothing but a news report or someone reporting live from different locations this was happening at. Hell, I even spotted one of them in front of the place we just performed at last night.
"And-"
"It's-"
"Maintain-"
"Destructive-"
"See, it's on every single channel. Even all the movie channels." Ray huffed, still frequently pressing on the button. "I hate watching the news."
Well that's something we have in common." I thought while shoveling a spoonful of cereal in my mouth. "What are they saying about it?"
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"Something about some chip brand. They're doing a recall of them." He replied irritably.
I stopped eating once I saw the familiar green bag of chips with the strange shape logo. I wonder what was wrong about them. I only ever heard about them last night when Shaun gave me one. I felt fine today and haven't had any stomach problems so maybe it wasn't serious. "Did they say anything about why everyone was acting up last night?"
"I don't know, I only woke up about 10 minutes ago." Ray stopped channel surfing when it landed on a kids show about a girl fixing her pink bike and I raised a brow at him.
"What?" He shrugged his shoulders. "It's the only thing that's not news."
Lily walked into the room yawning wearing one of my long nightshirts. "What's going on you guys?" She glanced up at the TV and then over at us. "I don't think I want to know anymore."
"It's not what it looks like! It's the only thing that's on right now!" Ray blurted out nervously.
"Sure Ray. Anyway, Sasha..." She started ignoring him. "Is it alright if we get going now? I'd really like to head home and check on my mom."
I exchanged worried glances with Ray before giving her a short nod. "Sure, of course Lily."
I stood up to stretch and then playfully punched Ray in the stomach.
"Hey! What the hell was that for?" He cried angrily while doubling over in pain. He tried to do it back but I hopped out of the way.
"Come on dork, you're coming too."
"What? Why? I don't want to go." He complained
"Just get up, I need company on the drive back. Plus if another one of those things manages to get you again, I won't be able to save your ass this time."
Ray grumbled before hopping off the couch to follow me down the hall to our bedrooms.
*****************
"Alright everyone ready to go?"
I sparked up my Chevy and waited for them outside on the curve by our apartment.
"Jeez, I thought she wanted to leave already? That was almost a half hour ago." I complained and kicked over a rock before slouching against the car door. Since it was still eight in the morning, I decided to keep wearing the black tank top and yellow pj pants I normally wore to sleep. I was planning on going straight back to bed once when we got back home since I didn't sleep a wink after what happened last night. "I wonder if anyone did." I thought aloud and closed my eyes and basked in the sunlight.
Ray was the first to come out. After a few minutes, Lily finally came out as well. I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw her wearing the same dress she wore at the concert last night. It still had blood stains scattered across the goth lace material.
I had offered to let her rummage through my closet for something cleaner to wear before she took a shower. I wasn't exactly the tidiest person in the world but I thought it would be better than wearing that again.
"What's wrong? Couldn't find anything you like?" My voice cracked and gave me away to show how uncomfortable I was.
"It's fine Sapphire. You don't have a lot of my style or size for me to wear anyway." She said simply and climbed into the back seat.
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"Sorry, that I do not." I chuckled before getting in the driver seat myself. I always thought I was a skinny toothpick but I was nothing compared to Lily with her tiny 0 size waist. She was also barely five ft tall so I'm sure my stuff would manage to look baggy on her.
Ray watched Lily and glanced between the empty passenger seat and her before scratching the top of his beanie. "You sure you don't want to sit shotgun with Sasha?" He asked.
"It's fine, I prefer riding in the back seat. It's like I'm being chauffeured."
I couldn't help but to snort and roll my eyes. Typical Princess Lily.
Right as Ray went to open the door, I smirked mischievously and locked it before he could get in.
"Hold it beanie-baby." I teased him.
"What the hell do you want now?" He whined.
"Did you bring your inhaler with you brat?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
His cheeks flushed with embarrassment when Lily looked over at him in question.
"Yeah I brought my damn inhaler. Can you stop treating me like a damn kid already?"
"I will when you have it for once." I responded back.
He shoved both of his hands into his pockets to prove me wrong but froze when he realized that, of course, it wasn't in any of them.
He dropped the backpack he was carrying, unzipped it and went through it too only to come out empty as well. Without a word, he turned and fled back to the house.
"Where would he be without his dear sister to watch him?" I sang while shaking my head.
Once he got back, we were off and driving on the freeway. However, I somehow felt that the mood in the car shifted.
They haven't said a word for the past 25 minutes that I've been driving and it was making me feel antsy. I turned on the radio and put in a CD from my band. Once our famous punk rock beat picked up, they finally relaxed and were nodding their heads to the music.
Good, that's better.
I stole a glance in the rear view mirror. Lily still looked gloomy despite the tapping finger against her face. She gazed out the window at the passing road in silence. She was probably just worried sick about her mom. Been a whole day since we've heard from her.
To the right of me, Ray was munching on some trail mix that he had brought along in his backpack while bobbing his head. They still avoided saying anything. After a while the dampening mood in here was slowly starting to make me feel uncomfortable.
I lowered the music and cleared my throat. "Hey, so is there anything you guys want to talk about?"
No one spoke up at first, but then Lily said, "Sasha I think we should..."
I glanced back into the rear view mirror to see her chewing on her bottom lip with her eyes lowered. Our eyes connected for a moment but hers quickly shot over to Ray for help.
I looked at him and then back at Lily, confused. "You think we should...?"
"Well..." Ray rubbed the back of his neck while still avoiding my gaze. "I think we should talk about what...you did last night."
I frowned. "What I did? What did I do?"
"You know...when you hurt all of those people? Lily told me what happened back at the concert too. How come you didn't think it through? Those people you hurt have families you know and you practically..." He inhaled before saying, "practically murdered them. Police are going to come after you for this and we don't know what we can do for you. What if you do life? You could be in some serious deep shit."
"You can even get the death penalty." Lily whispered.
I felt a lump lodge itself in my throat."Are you guys serious?! Did you not see how everyone was acting yesterday? All of those psychos! Ray, you saw them take down police officers! Lily! We saw them. They were eating people! Like fucking cannibals." I shifted in my seat irritably. "They'll understand that it was for self defense and that I was trying to save us."
I pushed harder against the gas pedal. Yeah, it's not like I haven't been freaking out about it all night. But if I hadn't done something, anything, we could have all been dead. What a bunch of ungrateful brats! Ugh. "Whatever. Have you heard anything back from your mom yet Lily?"
"No..." It was quiet again before Lily added, "Speaking of parents...I couldn't help but notice that yours didn't come home last night either. Does that normally happen? Are they usually out all day and night?" She sat up suddenly. "Do you think they're alright?"
I didn't speak and neither did Ray. I pressed my foot down harder. 60, 70, 80...
"Oh," her voice softened. "Are they not around anymore?"
Ray glanced at me and I glared back. He knows better not to open his mouth about our parents around me. "Well...Sasha doesn't like to talk about them. We haven't seen or spoken to them in almost five years."
"Five years?! Are you serious?! How come?"
"It's none of your damn business Lily." I spat bluntly.
She looked at me and then back then at Ray helplessly. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"So you guys have been on your own this whole time?" She whispered sincerely.
"Lily, shut up about it! I said mind your business." I warned her through gritted teeth.
The road ahead was so clear, I suddenly had a rush of adrenaline when the speedometer hit over 90. I felt free and tried to drown out Lily's prying with the roar of the engine.
"Well I think it's wrong! Families should always be together no matter what. You never know when they will be gone before you have a chance to see them again." She was speaking so quickly and tears were welling up in her eyes as if she was speaking from experience. "You should call them! Especially with what's been going on. I'm sure they're worried sick about you both."
Very much doubt it, I scoffed, rolling my eyes at her assumption.
"Sasha did you hear me you dunce? You should go back to them!"
"Lily come on don't..." Ray pleaded but his eyes stayed focused on me. I knew he was waiting for me to explode but I tried my best not to lash out at her.
"Ray, come on, explain to her that all parents love their children no matter what. I'm sure what happened will all be forgiven."
Love? Forgiven? Are you kidding me? I had enough of her shit! She doesn't know anything about what we've gone through.
"Lily!" I yelled and turned in my seat to face her. "I said to fucking drop it! We don't all live in some fucking fairytale fantasy where happy families exist. There was no love where we lived so don't talk like you know and can solve everything! "
"What the hell happened so bad that you refuse to talk to your own family?!" She yelled back and raised her voice over mine.
Before I had a chance to shut her down, the truck shook violently and jolted me and Ray forward into the dashboard. I jabbed my foot down on the brakes right as the front tires rolled over something.
We sat there in silence wondering what the hell just happened and what I just ran over.
I didn't see anything or anyone in the road in front of me, I was sure of it!
When we all got out and checked underneath the truck, Lily let out a high pitch scream.
"See Sasha! This is exactly what we're talking about! You just killed another person!"
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