《Once you go Wuxxia you never go back. [Not a Parody but moreso a revised wuxxia.]》Chapter One

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Zhu Ling Bo, first and only child of Zhu Xiao, a pragmatistic youth, ill-tempered and foul-mouthed, was now regurgitating his last supper, with droplets of sweat rushing down his brow and a face pale as copy-paper.

If you would compare the cocksure and chippy martial artists of the past to this... wreck, you'd see no parallels between the two.

One was stoic and unrelenting, squashing his enemies beneath his boots, the other, a sobbing mess, maybe even on his dying breath at the moment and suffocating on his own screams.

But who could fault him?

Having your head bashed in repeatedly with a figurative crowbar made of a lifetime of memories does NOT feel nice.

Though, after a whole agonizing hour the retention vice finally unscrewed itself, much to the relief of the spasming Ling Bo -or was it Robert?

Anyway, with as much trepidation as apprehension of another memory belting Ling Bo stood up, carefully balancing his weight on his trembling arms.

His hands burned from the perpetual nail-digging, bleeding profusely even, and so did the languid muscles throughout his whole body. Everything felt cramped and was aching, his body screaming out the discomfort in form of mind-numbing agony. But Ling Bo kept his body firm, away from keeling over and blacking out, the last remnants of his former personnality shining through.

It took a few atempts to right himself up, as well as an adjuvant nightstand, but in the end he succeeded.

The slobbering mess called Ling Bo scowled as he skimmed all over the narrow closet he calls his room. It was dismal, dirty and dark, the triplet of vileness. And he was the first son of the clan chief? Was that supposed to be a bad joke? What kind of clan is that supposed to be? Dirty Dan and his band of beggars?

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This was no way to live, absolutely disgusting and inhumane. But his memories attached a strange fondness to it...

Ousting the sentimentalities from his mind Ling Bo mulishly sat down in a more-or-less clean corner. Dabbing the grime and tears from his face, as well as the blood from his nose and torn fingertips -wincing just a tiny bit- with a yellow-stained towel, he calms himself down.

Robert think! This is absolutely not a dream, no way in hell... This... the pictures alone are proof. You are not on Earth anymore and from what you know, your probably won't get back. DAMN! FUCK!

What should I do... Think you schmuck, THINK!

...Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!! I have no idea, I have not the slightest idea! I am stuck here forever! Goddamn... This can't be... This just can't be real...

No, wait! There is a way. You have seen it for yourself... This body, this boy here, he knows the way back... Ascension! Y- You have to become a God! I- I can become a damn God?! Right! I can become a God!

As Ling Bo's mind twirled in excitement, jumping giddily up and down, his body looked as placid as a spring lake, unmoving with legs criss-crossed. His breathing was even, barely audible, and his heartbeat stayed uniform.

With countless ideas and thoughts revolving through his head, he did not take notice of the repeated and restless knocking on his door. And finally, as the petite shadow behind the molded wood couldn't take it anymore, a young girl barged in.

"Master Zhu!", the braided pipsqueak shouted. "Master Zhu! Are you alright?! I- I heard something fall b-but you wouldn't open the door!"

Ling Bo would lie if he said he wasn't startled by the sudden entrance and a bit angry, but the endearing, heart-shaped face that came into view totally made up for it.

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The girl, Lan Xi, was his personnal attendant. Barely of age and still tender and pure, she weathered old Ling Bo's abuse with a lovely smile on her face.

Seeing the little maiden carefully tending to his skinned fingers pangs of guilt shot his conscience. Her adorable eyes went through a series of changes as she squinted at the wounds. Sometimes they went wide, other times they teared up. And as she carefully wrapped his fingers in warm gauze they turned into satisfied crescents.

What is that bitch grinning about?! This sudden thought rocked his body and Ling Bo's eyes turned callous and dangerous.

The fuck?! Why are you calling her a bitch!? What kind of detestable piece of shit was I?

Old and new, the personnalities clashed with one another, wrestling for supremacy. But alas, Ling Bo's old soul was already shattered as Robert took his place, only the most minute of quircks surviving.

The guilt, as Ling Bo realized what treatement Lan Xi had to endure, climbed to whole new dimensions. It manifested as palpable pain in his chest, coiling around his heart and squeezing with zeal.

Damn I was an ass...

Ling Bo thought and reached out a bandaged hand.

Seeing the brawny palm reaching for her Lan Xi winced yet stood resolutely in place, waiting for the impending raptus.

Ever so slowly the massive hand brushed past her cheeks, settling on her neckline and the fingers clamping down. She was afraid, afraid by the soft touch and the delusions that come with it, and afraid that today will be worse. Never had he gripped her by the neck and she prayed this won't be her end, strangled and beaten.

But contrary to her thoughts her master Ling Bo stayed his hand (Badumtss) and simply looked at her with hurt in his eyes.

"M-Master?", she whimpered before the hand rapidly pulled her in.

"YAH!", with a scream she fell into Ling Bo's chest, her ear pressed atop his beating heart.

"I am sorry.", a raspy voice sounded beside her, drenched in apology and each breath tickling her ears. "I am so sorry Lan'er. For all that I have done... I am... so sorry...", Ling Bo's husky words came to a stop, each sentence heavier than any practice and instead the tears now pattered down.

Lan Xi felt the wetness drop on her shoulder and collarbone, Ling Bo's warm breath and raising chest, and somehow she felt for the first time very, very comfortable around her master.

Ling Bo cried with the little maid in his arms, he cried for what was in the past and he cried for what he had left behind.

When suddenly...

Ding! Ding!

Quest completed: Show sincere affection to a female!

Rewarded: 10 MC points!

Requirements for 'MC Cheat Sheet' fulfilled: Complete a novice quest.

Access to 'MC Cheat Sheet' granted!

'MC Cheat Sheet' Introduction Set gifted.

Introduction Set stored under: Postbox.

Access 'MC Cheat Sheet'? Yes / No

What the flying fuck....

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